AN: So, I'm pretty excited about this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it, and hopefully, you guys like it. The angst is toned down a lot and it will continue to stay like that for a little while. The response on my last chapter was great, and it makes me so happy that you guys are digging this story so much. Anyways, happy reading and leave me a review.
Chapter 6: Pushing Buttons
The Vista Cruiser's engine lowly hummed along to the rock beats pumping from the door speakers. The morning air only blew a slight chill on the arms of Hyde and Eric as it slowly began to turn into the afternoon. Hyde had trouble sleeping the night before and was fighting back the tired heavy haze that weighed down his eyelids. After he saw Jackie, he decided that he'd take a break from trying to remember. It never amounted to anything and only left him with a skull cracking headache. After the incident, he felt like getting drunk but decided against it. Getting drunk was what not only what got him into his situation with Jackie, but it also gave him this feeling that he had been plucked from his normal life and dropped off randomly in the future. He didn't necessarily feel like he had lost his memory. In order to even think that way he'd have to have some conception that all these events actually happened in the first place. Eric might have told him about his actions over the past two years and the others filled in some gaps from time to time, but without tangible memories of these actions and words, they were all essentially meaningless.
That's where Jackie's words came in. Oh, how right she was that he couldn't really be sorry. He felt bad for her being hurt by him, but with no recollection of committing these acts that hurt her so much, Hyde really didn't feel very guilty. Guilty wasn't the emotion that chipped his shoulders throughout the day. Hyde felt that the unnameable force that controlled the universe had signaled him out. He was angry that someone else had used his body to betray Jackie and slam his El Camino into a tree, leaving him here to deal with the consequences. The entire situation was completely unfair. Worst of all, Jackie had to suffer the most from whatever bad cosmic joke that was in effect.
Driving to Point Place's junkyard was a funeral march for Hyde. He feared the condition his precious El Camino was in. No one had been down to see it, and Eric agreed to take him that morning and then drop him off at his first doctor's appointment. Hyde was positive that another horrible day was progressing for him, and he had no control of stopping it. The El Camino's condition, out of his power; going to see a psychiatrist, out of his power; getting Jackie to talk to him; well, that was a little more complicated.
"So, Hyde," Eric spoke through the rambling of his thoughts. "How are you feeling today, about you know, everything?"
Hyde was good at reading between the lines especially when it came to his scrawny friend. Foreman might have sincerely wanted to know if he was better, but he really just wanted to swing the conversation to himself so he could start complaining about his issues with Donna. A hint of a melancholy sigh in his question always gave him away. It was like when they were in the circle goofing around and having a good time and Eric would do the same thing during a moment of silence. Usually, Hyde was only slightly irritated by his friend's self centered view of the world and need to constantly nag, but now he really just wanted to reach into the glove compartment and throw whatever he could find at Eric's head just to shut him up. But, he decided to give in. Eric did tell him about the Jackie situation the day before, even though Hyde was starting to think that maybe things would have been better just to stay in the dark.
"I'm fine, Foreman, and we're not going to talk about it. I already have to see some stupid shrink today."
Hyde listened to Eric release another long, pay attention to me sigh. He rolled his eyes.
"What is it, Foreman?" Hyde asked through clenched teeth.
"What?" Eric asked innocently. "Nothing's wrong." Hyde counted beats in his head, waiting. "It's just that Donna and I aren't doing so good."
"Uh huh."
"It's like, ever since I got back from Africa, we haven't been the same. She's either really sad or pissed off all the time, not to mention our sex life is pretty much non-existent."
Hyde held up his hand defensively. "Alright, we stop right there. I really don't want to hear about you and Donna's sex life."
"You mean lack of." Eric corrected.
"Whatever." Hyde readjusted his sunglasses on his face and moved his cast in a more comfortable position, preparing himself to once again explain things to his skinny, Star Wars loving friend. "Alright, let me get this straight because I'm sort of suffering from uh… AMNESIA! You left Donna at the wedding rehearsal because you thought marrying her would hold her back from her dreams of becoming a successful woman."
"Right."
"And you went to Africa to get a teaching scholarship while Donna still attended Point Place Community College like she has been since she decided to stay home with your scrawny ass."
"Right. Wait…"
"And you're now wondering why Donna isn't giving you any?"
Eric gave a sideways, nervous glance at the sarcasm present in Hyde's voice. "Look man. Did you ever stop to think that maybe Donna is a little pissed that she decided to put those dreams on halt for you and not only did you screw that up, but you just end up leaving her behind to pursue your own dreams of success?"
Eric said nothing as he turned into the junkyard parking lot, or what could be assumed as a parking lot. Gravel and rocks covered the ground in front of the run downed tin shop.
"Well, now onto more important issues." Hyde said, opening the door. "Like finding out how the El Camino is."
"Hey," Eric called after him. "My issues with Donna are important, too."
"Really," Hyde turned around, both he and Eric stopping in their tracks. "Because it seems to me that you guys are just fighting about the same old crap."
"Can I help you boys?" A large man in blue overalls called to them as he walked out of his shop, interrupting Eric's rebuttal to Hyde's claim.
"Yeah, we're looking for a black El Camino that got towed here two nights ago." Hyde turned to face the mechanic, ignoring Eric's angry, pointing finger.
The mechanic chuckled as he pointed to the door of the chain linked fence that guarded Point Place's car graveyard. "Oh yes. I remember that car. It's a shame what happened to it. It was quite a beauty."
The word 'was' had never rang so loudly in Hyde's ears before. His car was quite a beauty just like his life was normal and not completely frustrating.
Hyde trotted towards the fence with Eric following only a few steps behind. As the El Camino's shiny black paint on its tail bed came into view, Hyde felt the nauseating fear of disappointment churning in his gut. She looked okay from behind, but it was her front end that had taken the blown.
"No!" Hyde groaned, standing in front of his car looking at the crunched in center. The front was probably half the size it originally began as with the hood bending upwards to reveal the damaged insides. The indention of the tree was dead center, and the rest of the front bumper caved inwards as if being sucked in by the crash point. The windshield sported a long, horizontal, obnoxious crack that extended to both sides of the frame. Scratch marks left jagged white marks down the top where the tree's hanging branches scraped along during impact. Hyde gulped the ball that had been nagging his throat and silently swore at his former self who was shaping up to be asshole of the year.
"It'll need major frame work and a new paint job, both of which are going to cost more than this car is worth." The mechanic grunted behind them as he wiped grease from his black finger tips. "I'm not even going to begin on listing off everything wrong under the hood, or," he chuckled, "what's left of the hood."
Hyde flared his nostrils in disgust at the joke, still not able to tear his eyes away from the damage. He felt an awkward hand land on his shoulder.
"Other than that, it looks like you've taken really great care of this car." The mechanic said in his own awkward way of comforting. "Were you drunk, son?"
"You could say that." Hyde replied stiffly.
"Yep," The mechanic wrapped a thumb underneath his strap. Hyde shot a sharp eyebrow in Eric's direction only receiving a shrug in return. "I used to have a drinking problem, too."
"I don't have a drinking problem anymore." Hyde walked out of the mechanic's hold, stroking the El Camino's side for what he pathetically hoped wasn't the last time.
"Ah, have you been going to AA? Yep, been there, done that."
Hyde shook his head and looked up at Eric, signaling to him that it was time to go. "No, I've stumbled upon a better wake up call."
Hyde thought that this couch was probably the nicest and most expensive he had ever sat his ass on not knowing that he had sat on couches just like this one in his dad's own office. Its plush cushions and mahogany leather coverings cocooned his body in the corner where he sat. The air burned his nostrils as a stick of incents burned on one of the doctor's many book shelves on the opposing side of the room. The place was sleek, but it still had a comfortable atmosphere what with various, out of place knick knacks lying around. Hyde picked up a magic eight ball that rested on a table just next to the arm rest. He held the black globe in his hand and thought of a question he could ask it. Will I ever get my memory back?
He shook it.
Try Again Later.
"Whatever."
Just then, the office door opened and Hyde quickly placed the fortune teller back on the table. He studied his psychiatrist's appearance carefully with his judgmental eyes, determining whether he would like this guy or not.
He was taller and had a skinnier frame than Hyde, a lot like Kelso's body type. He wore his dark brown hair short and looked to be in his early thirties. Hyde sneered at the tweed coat he wore, a look he noticed some of the professors at UW had whenever they all went to visit during the beginning of senior year. The rest of his dress was pretty relaxed, wearing casual kacki slacks and a white button up tee shirt.
"Hello, Steven. I'm Dr. Nick Swardson." He extended his hand for a handshake. Hyde eyed him untrustingly but shook his hand anyways.
"So," Dr. Swardson sat down. "I take it you don't want to be here."
"No, not really." Hyde felt the need to cross his arms but couldn't due to his cast. He settled with a slouch instead.
"Well, why are you here?"
Hyde rolled his eyes and sighed. Was this guy some kind of joke? He was already trying to pick him apart and dissect his mind.
"I guess you could call them my surrogate parents. They really wanted me to come, so I agreed."
The psychiatrist nodded taking a seat in his chair opposing Hyde. He pulled out a tape recorder with a little microphone attached to the side. "Do you mind if I record our sessions. It's very rare that I have a patient with amnesia."
Hyde shook his hand at him. "Oh, no. I don't trust those things, man."
Dr. Swardson gave a slight smile, catching on. "You do know that there is a doctor-patient confidentiality law. Whatever you say to me, no one can force me to talk, not even the government."
Hyde lifted an eyebrow and looked back at the tape recorder. "Kind of like a priest?"
"Yeah, sort of like that. Whatever you say is just between you and me. Privacy is a big issue in psychiatry."
"Well, why do you need to record then?"
"I like to go over them afterwards. It's much easier than taking notes while we talk. That can get a bit distracting, don't you think?"
Hyde nodded his head and shrugged. "I guess you can record then."
Dr. Swardson pressed the record button and interlocked his fingers together as he leaned forward to attempt to have a discussion with this very guarded young man. "So what is the last thing you do remember?"
"2 years ago." Hyde stated shortly.
"Well, what about two years ago. Was there anything significant happening?"
Hyde shrugged again as he looked around the room. "Not really. My two best friends were planning for their wedding. That's about it." Hyde looked to the doctor, tapping his foot impatiently. He hated that he was being recorded even though he agreed to it, and he really hated that this doctor kept looking at him as if he knew what he was thinking. "Look, I really have this under control. My friends have been filling me in on what I've missed out on. Everything's fine. So, how about we not waste each other's time and you tell Mr. and Mrs. Foreman, the people who are making me come to this, that I'm okay."
"I can't do that Steven." Dr. Swardson responded, not even affected by Hyde's suggestion.
"It's Hyde by the way. And why not?"
"Well, I don't really know if you are okay or not. I can't just tell those people something that I'm not even sure of in my medical opinion."
Hyde shook his head. "I just told you I was okay though."
"Well, I don't think you are."
"Why not?"
"Because, Hyde, there is a reason you are repressing two years of your memory. Now, I'm not saying that you know that reason just yet, and I really don't know it. We might not ever know, but at least we can try and find out, and who knows, maybe if we do, you'll get your memory back." Dr. Swardson leaned back in his chair relaxing his arms on the arm rests. "Now, I'm not guaranteeing anything. Little is known about amnesia because it just doesn't happen all the time, and in no way am I saying you have to come see me, but I think you're chances at figuring this thing out is a lot better with me than by yourself."
Hyde sat silently, trying to weigh in his mind if any of this was even worth it. He never trusted doctors and he certainly didn't trust shrinks. No matter how frustrated he felt at times, he knew he wasn't crazy. However, he was curious. He didn't know how the hell all of this started. He could probably guess the why. From what he had heard, the last two years didn't exactly sound like a place he wanted to remember, but he knew that he would need to in order to become normal again. He felt like such a helpless handicap person having to be corrected all the time about the assumptions he had. Maybe it would be okay to just give this a try, but only for a little while.
Hyde turned his eyes on the doctor who was patiently waiting for his answer. "Alright, "Hyde said, "I'll keep coming. But you're not trying any hypnosis crap on me. That's my one request."
Dr. Swardson grinned and nodded his head in agreement. "Fine by me. It doesn't even really work unless you want to be hypnotized."
Hyde nodded his head. "Good to know."
Hyde marched his way down the hallway of Jackie and Fez's apartment. He knew she wasn't going to be very happy to see him again, but this time he had a plan. During his ride home from Dr. Swardson's office, he was feeling more scheming than he had in the past few days. He wouldn't admit it to anyone but some of the things he and his doctor talked about gave him a little hope about a possible recovery. They didn't talk about feelings or anything like that. Actually, Hyde was able to get the guy to divert his attention away from himself, and he had Dr. Swardson talk about all he knew about amnesia. Little did he know, Dr. Swardson caught onto exactly to what he was doing but gave in anyway because he knew it was important for his patient to start feeling comfortable with him before any type of actual therapy could take place. After the appointment was over, Hyde thought of the perfect way to get Jackie to talk to him: pushing her buttons.
Hyde aggressively knocked on the door barely being able to contain his anxiousness. As soon as Fez opened the door, he stilled his body and put on his best zen face.
Fez rolled his eyes. "Hyde, I don't think that whatever you have to say to Jackie is going to work. She is still very angry."
Hyde patted Fez on the shoulder and walked into the apartment without permission. "Don't worry, Fez. I know what I'm doing this time."
Hyde switched his pointed finger back and forth between the two bedroom doors of the apartment, asking which one was Jackie's. Fez frowned and pointed to the door on the left reluctantly. He watched his curly hair friend as he knocked on Jackie's bedroom door waiting for permission to come in. When he heard Jackie's voice call unknowingly, "Come in." from the other side, he whimpered. "Ai, no."
Hyde grinned at the shocked look that passed over Jackie's eyes when she noticed it was he who had entered. "Hey Jackie." He said lowly, already putting his plan into motion.
Jackie puckered her lips annoyed and flipped through her magazine angrily, ignoring her scruffy ex boyfriend.
"So, what, are you not talking to me or something?" Hyde asked, trying his best not to smile.
Jackie ignored him as she continued to pretend to read about beauty tips about obtaining long, lushes lashes.
"Well, I guess that will just make what I have to say easier then." Hyde smirked down at her, noticing that her ears perked up slightly.
"I just want to take back what I said. I'm not sorry."
Jackie whipped her head towards him not being able to contain the appalled look on her face. She opened her mouth about to chew him a new one, but then she remembered the plan she concocted earlier that day. It was the only defense she could think of, and she wasn't about to abandon it now. She turned her head back down to continue reading her magazine.
Hyde grinned again at Jackie's reaction. He definitely had an upper hand now. He continued. "I'm not sorry because you were right. I can't just say that without remembering all of the crap I put you through. However, I was doing some thinking today. This whole thing really sucks, you know?"
Jackie chose to think of what he said as a rhetorical question.
"I don't know why I can't remember any of this stuff, and I have absolutely no clue why I did the things everyone has been telling me I did. So, I decided, instead of waiting around for my memory to come back, which apparently might not even happen, I'm going to get my old life back, starting with you."
Jackie froze in her spot, the possessiveness in his voice sending chills up her spine.
"As far as I'm concerned Jackie, you're still my girl. Whoever the asshole I used to be, doesn't matter anymore, and instead of telling you I'm sorry, I'm going to show you that I'm not him anymore."
Jackie's muscles clenched and she tried her best to ignore all the tingles shooting through her limbs. Jackie would have thought that what he was saying was incredibly romantic if it wasn't for the anger and aggression laced in his words. Instead, she found it to be a huge turn on. Hyde watched as she struggled to keep quiet and still from the impact of his words and turned around to leave, satisfied with the impression he was leaving on her.
Jackie didn't look up until she knew that Hyde was completely out of the apartment. She shot her eyes to the phone on her night stand and threw her magazine across the room as she crawled to it. She dialed Donna's number as fast as she could, gripping onto the phone for dear life.
"Donna, it's Jackie, you have to come over now!" Jackie listened to her friend on the other line and rolled her eyes. "Look you lumberjack, I don't care if you're eating right now. I'm going through a crisis right now and that is way more important than you missing one of your seven meals during the day."
Jackie hung up the phone, darting her eyes all around the room. Crap. Now what was she going to do?
AN2: If you haven't yet, check out my other story that I've been writing with elphabacan "That 70's Slasher Movie". The very last chapter will be updated tomorrow, so if you haven't started yet, you can read it in it's entirety. REVIEW!