Part Six

January 19, 2003 – evening

"Happy Birthday," Cole dejectedly wished his reflection.

"Why now?"

Cole turned around to face his visitor, the Avatar, again. "Because even unlimited power won't give me what I want. Sorry to disappoint you but I thought you should know, spare you future visits. I won't change my mind."

"Time is tricky," the Avatar acknowledged. "Even those with the power to see the future don't always see clearly. We'll see each other again, Cole. We're not giving up on you."

"Maybe you should talk to Phoebe," Cole muttered to the empty room when the Avatar vanished.

He considered ignoring the sudden knocking at his door but it grew more intense and he reluctantly answered it. To his surprise, Phoebe was standing there. His unconscious smile dipped into a frown when he took in her appearance. He hadn't seen her in a week, not since the night their daughter appeared and died, and she looked as if she'd aged ten years. "Are you okay?"

Phoebe shrugged but couldn't find her voice. She couldn't be sure how she even made it to the penthouse.

"I trust everything's back to normal?" he questioned, knowing full well he'd fixed all the problems he'd caused for them. But Phoebe stared blankly at him and he grew concerned. "Would you like to come in?"

Phoebe suddenly realized she was gazing into his eyes and she burst into tears, "I didn't even know her name!"

Cole immediately pulled her into his arms. "I know," he murmured. It was a thought that had occurred to him many times during the past week.

They stood in the doorway for several minutes until Phoebe was calm enough for him to lead her to sit on the sofa.

"I can't stop thinking about her," she sniffled as she stared at their interlocked fingers.

"Neither can I," he admitted.

"I keep imagining different scenarios to fill in the blanks she revealed. But we're never going to know the truth, are we?"

"Probably not," he acknowledged. "I've taken care of Drayful so perhaps this Ryan of hers is now safe."

"But we don't know why his attack on Bianca started the chain of events," Phoebe sighed, still not releasing his hand. "We don't even know who Bianca is or what her connection to the family is."

Cole gently squeezed her hand, "But I promise to help you find out if that's what you want. And I promise to help protect you, your family, even if we're not together."

Phoebe tugged her hand free, "I didn't come here -- I mean I'm not asking --"

"I know," he interrupted, "but I wanted you to know I've finally accepted the inevitable." He swept some hair from her eyes, "I've accepted your desire to end things between us. Perhaps you were right and she wasn't my daughter after all."

"Cole, I --"

"No, let me finish," he requested. "Please…" When she didn't comment, he stood and paced for a few moments to collect his thoughts. He hadn't expected it to be so hard to voice the thoughts he'd had for the past week. On impulse, he sat next to her again, taking her hand in his for strength.

Whatever he had to say, she knew it was important and coming from his heart. Phoebe gave his hand an encouraging squeeze but said nothing.

"I've had a lot of time this past week to reflect on my life, the turns it's taken in recent months, and it's no wonder you've been so afraid of what was happening. I understand now what you meant about being good. I truly understand." He brought her hand to his lips before stroking it with his thumb. "You were right. I was trying to be good for everyone else but me. It's not that I felt forced into doing good but rather I was doing it because I knew it's what you wanted, because that's what would keep us together."

"You awoke my humanity, Phoebe, my conscience, but I was still doing it only to be with you. And when I realized we could be happy together being evil, I tried that path too. It didn't matter what side I was on so long as you were by my side."

Phoebe waited for him to continue, unwilling to break his train of thought. But after a moment, she found herself asking, "What made you realize you were wrong?"

"Our daughter." Cole released her hand and stood again. He walked to the French doors and stepped out onto the balcony but was oblivious to the city's view.

Phoebe followed him. "Cole?"

"She stopped me from making a terrible mistake, a terribly deadly mistake." He watched her face as she absorbed the meaning of his words.

"An innocent?"

Cole nodded before turning away from her. "There's no need to go into details but suffice it to say the charges against Paige would have been far harder to fight. That young woman and the Nexus were my keys to driving you back to evil, back to my side."

"Why are you telling me?" Phoebe whispered.

"Because I don't want any more secrets between us," he shrugged. "And because you needed to know the truth. And that I've changed, truly changed."

She shook her head, "I don't understand."

"Because I didn't go through with it. I'd abandoned all those plans when our daughter appeared from the future. Even if killing Drayful wasn't the act she'd needed to prevent her fate, an innocent woman was still saved. And I can't taint her memory by returning to my plans."

"What now?"

Cole hesitantly reached for Phoebe's hand and replied when she didn't pull away. "Now we find a way to move forward. I've made my choice and I don't want to be evil, Phoebe. I want to help innocents where I can and when I can. All I want for us is to find peace and be happy."

"What if," she quietly asked, "what if being happy doesn't mean being together?"

"Then that's how it will be," he decided as he led her back into the suite. "I'd like to believe she was our daughter but maybe she wasn't. Maybe you're meant to find someone else to love, someone else with whom to raise a family. If we're not meant to be, it wouldn't be what I want but I will accept it. Because I love you, Phoebe, and I want what's best for you, even if that means that it's not me."

"Maybe some space would be good," she cautiously suggested, slipping her hand free.

"Maybe it would be," he agreed as he accompanied her to the door. "I've been lost for a while and maybe I need to concentrate on me before I can concentrate on us."

"I'm glad you're finding your way back," Phoebe paused in the doorway. Impulsively standing on tiptoes, she kissed him quickly. "Happy Birthday, Cole."

"You remembered." With an absurd grin on his face, he watched her rush into the elevator before his fingers found themselves lightly touching his lips. "Maybe she hasn't given up after all," he mused.

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