Disclaimer: I own all villainesses except for Shego.
Sorry I haven't updated in a long time, talk about writer's block. Even Carchee's given up on me.
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"So, we've gotten our pride demolished, mainly Drakken's, and the buffoon is still their prisoner. What do we do now?" Monkey Fist asked.
"We surrender, dude. The chicks are totally on fire tonight." Motor Ed shook his head.
"You want to surrender to a group of hormonally-challenged, physically inferior girls?" Dementor challenged. This wasn't going quite as expected, Dr. Drakken thought. The girls were on a roll and the guys, well, weren't. He had to turn this around. He couldn't let Shego hold one more thing over his head.
"The lasses are almost done with their list of demands." Killigan reported from his post. The kitchen light flicked on as Drakken got an idea.
"That's it! We use their list against them!" Everyone turned to stare at him.
"How do we do that? It's their list." Monkey Fist frowned, frankly sick of Drakken's half-baked schemes. Especially one that the girls could easily manipulate.
"We simply make our own list. A list of demands for their demands."
"Sounds complicated." Gemini said.
"Not really. Quickly, pen and paper. We'll get the girls so badly, we'll…really mess with their heads!"
Metaphor retreated back to the girl's side, soda in hand.
"Didn't get the meatloaf, did you?" Mischief teased, her voice sounding too much like Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants.
"No, but I think we have something worse than meatloaf on our hands." All eyes turned on her. War Hawk, seeing her opportunity, grabbed the list and added her demand that everyone had turned down.
"The boys are making demands for our demands for Ron."
"That sounds complicated." Kim said.
"Not really. They're just acting like they're smart." Shego relaxed.
"That's what we have to worry about more than meatloaf that makes you crap?" She laughed. Metaphor shrugged.
"At least with the meatloaf we knew what we were doing." They nodded in unison.
"True, but what could the guys possibly come up with?" Artica smirked.
"A lot more than you could, you sissy doll-players!" Ron shouted, standing up for his gender.
"Can someone re-gag him, please?" War Hawk tightened the gag, perhaps a bit more than was necessary.
"If we don't give them any time to come up with a list, how can they beat us?" Shego said slyly.
The girls abandoned Ron.
He himself wasn't smart enough to come up with an escape plan. But loneliness overwhelmed him, watching the girls go confront the guys. Why couldn't at least one stay behind? The one time he was a chick magnet without changing himself…he was competing against them. They were the enemy. But how come he couldn't help loving his enemies?
Claws gripped his sides. It wasn't one of the girls that was for sure.
"Make a sound and I'll kill you." A husky voice grated in his ear. He nodded and easily, it threw him over its shoulder.
Kim! Where was she when he needed her?
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"Time's up, boys. We've got our demands you need to do in order to get Ron back." Shego announced their arrival. She was aware of Golden Arrow's gaze back towards their side. He wasn't going anywhere, she wanted to say. But her affection for him was cute.
"And we've got demands for your demands for the buffoon." Drakken countered, expecting a shocked look on Shego's face. There wasn't. Did anything faze her?
"How many do you have?"
"Five." The girls exchanged glances.
"We only have four." Artica murmured. The boys grinned at each other.
"Then we'll start off." Gemini decided. Drakken cleared his throat and held the paper up like it was a proclamation.
"In return for your first demand, we want…" He paused dramatically, and then dropped his voice to a whisper.
"…the buffoon."
"Gee, we never would have guessed that." Shego rolled her eyes. She looked down at their paper.
"You've got it, but after you promise to do all of our demands."
"Demand 1 has been accepted."
"Wait, that wasn't a demand." War Hawk clarified.
"You were demanding that we promise to do all of your demands. Now, for our next demand, we want you to bow down and admit that we are better than you."
"But that's against my religion." Metaphor spoke up.
"Now you decide to have good moral standards." Monkey Fist said.
"I take my religion very seriously. I just kind of not listen to the stealing part, but the rest I try to follow as closely as I can."
"Fine, then. KNEEL down and admit that we are better than you."
"Wait, wouldn't that be two demands?" Mischief mocked Dr. Drakken. His hands clenched into fists.
"JUST DO IT!" Dementor yelled.
The girls kneeled down like they were about to be knighted.
"Repeat after me, girls." Shego commanded.
"Repeat after me, girls." Mischief mocked her. Shego glared at her, and then turned back to the boys.
"I admit…"
"I admit…"
"…that the boys…"
"…that the boys…"
"…are better than us…"
"…are better than us…"
"…at…"
"…at…"
"…scratching their butts…"
"…scratching their butts…"
"…and…"
"…and…"
"…LOOSING!"
"…LOOSING!"
The girls fell to the floor, laughing and slapping Shego high-fives.
"Ha, ha. My sides are seriously splitting." Motor Ed crossed his arms.
"Okay, okay." Shego said, wiping tears from her eyes. She cleared her throat.
"We want the cleaning solution." She said.
"Well, we don't have it." Drakken stuck out his tongue at her.
"What?" Metaphor's eyes narrowed.
"We hid it." Dementor mocked.
"It's going to cost you another demand to learn its location." Gemini said. The girls exchanged glances.
"Should we do it?"
"I don't know."
"Shego, don't you have extra sleeping bags?"
"Not that many."
"I think we should risk it." Kim spoke up. The girls nodded.
"Risk it." They said in unison.
"Where's it at?" Mischief sounded like a 1930's gangster.
"In one of your sleeping bags." Dementor said menacingly. They hid their surprise.
"Demand 4?" War Hawk asked.
Drakken grinned.
"Shego admits that she was once a superhero." The villain's eyes went wide. Obviously Drakken had kept this demand to himself.
"I was. It's in the past." Shego shrugged it off, but Kim could see her tense muscles, her frown.
The girls looked at each other.
"That was a secret?" War Hawk asked. They shook their heads.
"I thought that was basic knowledge." Golden Arrow said.
"If this means anything, she was a crappy hero. Worse than Ron. I mean, she completely lost her pants and we haven't found them to this day." Artica said. Drakken looked at Shego.
"I thought that was a one-piece suit."
"It is." She sighed.
"Would you want to send your friends to jail?" She asked him.
"No."
"Exactly."
"Yeah, we just hid up in my room pretending to fight when really we were flipping through magazines." War Hawk said.
"We tested weapons on Barbie dolls in the basement." Golden Arrow added.
"We snuck into R-rated movies." Metaphor put in.
"We had air-conditioning wars in the Go Jet." Artica said.
Mischief looked around.
"Am I the only one who really fought her?" She asked, sounding like Reba McEntire.
"I couldn't mess around all the time." Shego said. She turned back to Drakken.
"My jobs were to fly the jet and make sure my brothers didn't die. Besides that, I was free to do whatever I wanted." Shego glanced down at the list and grinned.
"Ah, demand four, the grand finale. Okay, how many of you know how to dance like Napoleon Dynamite?"
Drakken raised his hand. Dementor raised his hand. No one else did.
"Teach the others while we go get the boom box...and the video recorder." She said, pointing towards the other villains.
"NO WAY!" Dementor screeched.
"It's just one more demand." Drakken pleaded.
"I'M NOT DANCING!" Drakken pulled him aside.
"After all we've done, you want to back down?"
"I'M NOT DANCING!"
"How about backup?" He glared at Drakken.
"No." Drakken rolled his eyes. Somehow he'd get him to dance. The bark collar came to mind…
It would be too boring to describe how long it took for the boys to get down the Napoleon Dynamite dance or how long it took for the girls to find the video camera that Drakken had hidden in his shirt drawer. Eventually, the boom box was set up and the boys stood in a line (except for Dementor, who claimed the meatloaf hadn't completely gone through him yet).
"So, what song are we even dancing to?" Gemini asked as Motor Ed practiced his head-banging.
"Oh, you'll hear." Shego said, signaling to Metaphor. Metaphor proceeded to turn on the boom box on full blast.
"This one's for You Tube." War Hawk declared, turning the camera on.
"MA-IA-HIIIIII, MA-IA-HUUU, MA-IA-HAAA, MA-IA-HA-HA!" The Numa Numa song made the boys pause for a minute.
"Dance, monkeys, dance!" Artica laughed.
So, the boys danced like Napoleon Dynamite to the Numa Numa song, not necessarily a new idea, but a funny one nonetheless. War Hawk had to put the camera on a stand so she could laugh as hard as everyone else.
The song eventually ended and the boys instantly stopped except for Motor Ed.
"MA-IA-WHOA! MA-IA-YEAH! MA-IA-AW! MA-IA-AWESOME!" He dropped onto his knees and started doing air guitar and head banging.
War Hawk turned off the video camera.
"Dude, I so need to get that on my IPod! Seriously rockin' stuff, man!" Motor Ed said excitedly. Duff Killigan smacked him in the back of the head.
"Knock it off; we've got our last demand!" He said. Motor Ed shook his head.
"Oh yeah, right, man. Lost myself there for a minute."
The boys gathered over their list. They had wasted a few demands already; they had to make their last one a good one. They pointed, shook their heads, pointed farther down, shook their heads, pointed farther up, yelled at each other, and pointed at the bottom. They nodded their heads and maliciously grinned at Shego.
"Bring down the leader and the rest will come." Kim heard Drakken say. She looked over at their side…and noticed Ron wasn't there.
"Um, Shego?"
"Not now, they've got their demand figured out."
"But…"
"Do the world a favor and shut up." She hissed. Fine, then, Kim thought.
"Shego, why don't you call up your brothers and say you love them?" Drakken said.
Shego cocked an eyebrow.
"You're not serious."
"Oh, but I am." Shego stormed towards the phone.
Exposing the fact she was once a superhero just wasn't bad enough, was it? Now she had to call up her brothers. But she couldn't know this was peeving her. No, that would give him satisfaction he didn't deserve. She grabbed the phone off of the receiver and dialed the number.
Drakken smirked. It looked like Shego was cracking. Not that anyone could tell besides maybe War Hawk or Golden Arrow, but being with Shego for so long had taught him her subtle signals. Like her snapping for no reason. But he wouldn't let her know that. He'd keep that his dirty little secret.
Please don't be there, please don't be there…
"Hello?" Of course, it was Hego.
"Hego, my favorite brother, hi!" Play it up, Shego, rub it in your boss's face. He was not going to bring you down so easily.
"What do you want?" He groaned.
"Just wanted to say I love you." She played with the phone cord.
"For the last time, I'm not bailing you out of jail."
"I'm not in jail."
"Who peed in your corn flakes?"
"Who peed in YOURS?!" She was getting evil looks. She took a deep breath.
All of them, Drakken mouthed.
"Can I talk to Mego and the twins?" She asked.
"What bet did you loose?" He chuckled. She cleared her throat.
"Oh." He recognized their old signal that someone else was listening in. Being sarcastic, understanding a signal, Hego was in rare form today.
"I'll put you on speaker." She heard a click.
"Team Go, assemble!" Shego rolled her eyes. Maybe not.
"We're not Team Go anymore, you blue moron." Mego growled. She heard the twins run in.
"LOVEYOUBYE." Shego lost her nerve and hung up.
"HAPPY?" She yelled. Drakken nodded. Cracked open.
"Wait, we've got another one." War Hawk called, handing the list to Shego.
"We only had four." Shego sighed, but looked down the list.
"Coco Moo? Who put Coco Moo on the demands list?" Everyone looked at each other. They glanced at the list and then looked at War Hawk.
She was calm for a minute, but confessed.
"You're stuck up, Shego, that's all there is to it, not to acknowledge the goodness of Coco Moo!" Shego rolled her eyes.
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"Where's Ron?" Mischief asked, using Golden Arrow's voice.
"Same place Kim probably is." Shego scoffed, now visibly sulking.
War Hawk flicked her wrists. Long purple feathers emerged from her skin and she flew up to the ceiling. She might as well get the sleeping bags down.
No one worried about Kim or Ron for a long time. Until a shrill noise called out from Kim's pants pocket.
"Do, do, do-do. Do, do, do-do." The villainesses froze.
"Do, do, do-do."
"Somebody go get Kim." Golden Arrow stood up, wordlessly volunteering.
The noise continued.
"Turn it off!" Artica shrieked.
"Then the computer nerd will know something's wrong." Shego explained.
"Won't he know something's wrong when no one answers?" War Hawk called, peeling the last sleeping bag slowly off the ceiling, one arm pumping to keep her aloft while the other sprayed the cleaning solution onto the glue.
They sat there a minute, trying to decide. To answer or not to answer, that was the crucial answer.
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The next one will be up quicker, though the chapters will probably be shorter from now on. Writer's block is a nightmare… please review.