A/N: This one took longer than it should have. I was out of inspiration for Ron's story, which is why it's so short and so much like Harry's. I do like Ron, and I sympathize with him because I know how it feels to be overshadowed by your big brothers, but other than that, he's not one of my favorite characters. Sorry to all you Ron fans, but, to each their own. I've got plenty more ideas for all the rest of the stories, so hopefully updates will come a bit more frequently. Read, Review, and, as alway, Enjoy!
Later: Oops, sorry! People told me the l33+ 5P34k was getting hard to read, so I toned it down a bit. Hopefully it makes a bit more sense now. I kept the letters and numbers, like B, 1, and R though, just because they were too much fun. If it's still too hard to read, try saying it aloud. Or let me know, and I'll tone it down even more. Much to my chagrin, I'm proficient in l33+.
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Ron's face bore a look of utmost disgust. This book struck him as very Umbridge-ish, and if it hadn't been for the twin on either side of him, letting him know he was not about to get out of reading, he would have tossed the thing into the fire. Oh well. The sooner he began, the sooner he was done. Voice dripping disdain, he began reading.
Hi i'm Harry potter's twin sister,… Harry started, staring at the book as if he expected it to attack. …Vanessa who got separated from him at birth 2 protect me from voldy and grew up in australa. After many adventers (2 many 2 list here) i fond out i have a brother nd went to Hogwarts insted. Al teh guyz luvved me imediatly of coarse but i liked ron best and he luvved me… Ron got no farther. Everyone else was cracking up. He looked faintly annoyed. "I'm just reading this drivel, I'm not the one writing it," he grumbled, going back to reading. …he luvved me. nd no wonder, i wuz gorus... gorgeus... well, pretty, tall, thin, slender, curves in al the write places, raven blue black hair, pail pretty white skin, good butt and bust and full lipz and cute nose and my best featurs R my eyez, emereld green and big nd almund shaped nd U could feel them starring in2 ur sole i wuz told i looked lik my mom lilly but wit my dads hair. There was an awkward silence after this ridiculous description. Sirius looked rather put out. Ron glanced ahead. "She's doing nothing but describing her clothes," he groaned, disgust evident in his voice. "and she keeps going on about her eyes. Can I skip it?" Not even Fred or George objected. He rifled through the pages, searching for a finish to the ridiculous descriptions. Eight pages later, they finally came to an end.
Any way ron wuz kinda cute in a puppy way… Ron scowled heavily. …hiz freckels wer cute and i liked him. hermione objekted of coarse but evry1 could C I wuz so much better nd ron likked me better. Hermione's face was bright pink, and she looked like she wanted nothing so much as to rip the book to pieces. Sirius, Ginny, and Remus immediately set to calming her down, but she was still fingering her wand menacingly when Ron resumed reading.
but R luv mite not last… Ron sighed with relief. …cuz when we met Dumbledor telled me it was nt my brother teh prophesy wuz reffering 2 it wuz me it shoulda ben she not he in teh prophesy nd id hafta kil vodemart but i did nt tel any1 i let them B happy cos evry1 luvved me nd theyd B sad if i died only 1 who did nt luv me wuz hermy but no 1 cares bout her. It took another few minutes to calm Hermione down. nd so teh scool year preseeded as usual i joined teh quiditch teem and was brilliant we 1 teh cup nd beet slitherinn. harry luvved having his sister bak we look alot a like nd he wuz cool but worried bout fighting Voldy so i told him bout teh prophesy so then he wuz worried bout me. Harry snorted. "As if." hermy still did nt like me nd tried 2 get ron back but who cares bout her? Hermione looked like she wanted to kill something. i took ron nd harry nd teh other boyz out clubbin at a kewl place i new nd we had fun ron started 2 reelly luv me but then teh deatheaters kidnaped ron during a hogsmead week end. i wuz with him in madem pudifuts… Harry rolled his eyes at the mention of the café. …nd he leaned closer nd i saw his lipz nd i close my eyez and leen in wen they attaked nd i tried 2 defend him but 1 hit me with a curse nd i fell. Ron's face was bright red, but, to his credit, he kept reading steadily. When i woke up they tolled me ron wuz kidnaped voldy knew i luvved him nd teh prophesy wuz a bout me. so i followd. I tracked voldy down. he wuz herding… Ron stared at the page in confusion before realizing, "Oh. Hurting." …wuz herding ron so i junped in nd shot spels at voldy nd he shot spels at me. for a sec it looked like voldy mite win he hit me wit a bad spel but harry (he wuz there)… You only add this now?" Harry asked incredulously. …blokked it nd i closed my pretty green eyez nd summoned al my ener-G and said 'B gone now Evil 1' and voldy screamed and vanished in a puff of smok. 'Vanessa" ron asked i jus smiled nd sayed 'its over we 1 so we all celebrated… "Exactly like the last story," Remus commented. "Evidently the writers aren't very creative." …and ron and me had fun doing… "Ugh," Ron groaned. "Another long, horrible…scene." He shuddered, and started turning the pages, muttering to himself. "Chocolate sauce… pink handcuffs… what's the broom for? This is nasty!" The twins were doubled over, howling with laughter. Harry was just trying to avoid the bad mental images this was conjuring up. Ginny had a look on her face that suggested the first person to come near her brother with chocolate sauce was going to be very sorry indeed. And Hermione… She was a shade of red that would have made Uncle Vernon proud. She was glaring at the book so evilly it was a wonder the Thing didn't combust. And she was hissing between gritted teeth, "mine… stay away from him you whore…mine… I'll give you chocolate sauce…" Ron didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was spared the choice by Tonks, who, grinning wickedly, handed the book to Fred and George, who abruptly stopped laughing and started looking rather frightened.
Ron grinned evilly. "Payback's a bitch."
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The Sue-nese had just returned from battling their sworn enemy, a group of opposing fangirls, the Canonites, to find the book missing. They immediately suspected sabotage. But, as one asked, "Where could the book be?"
