Disclaimer: If wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak and Firefly would belong to me. :)
A/N: I blame the plot bunnies and monkey feet for this one since it was inspired by him. Just a little Rayne drabble to brighten the day. Chapter 4 of No Power in the 'Verse is coming; I promise.Making A Choice
"You're alone because you want to be."
"What?!" Jayne jumped up from the weight-lifting bench he had been sitting on. He had thought everyone else was in the mess talking and laughing. He was just sitting in the cargo bay feeling sorry for himself.
"Who said that?"
"I did."
When Jayne turned around the last person he ha expected to see standing there was the departed Shepard Book and yet he was strangely unsurprised to see him standing there.
"You made the choice, now you're having to live with it."
"What choice, I never made no choice. And what the hell are you doin' here anyway? Ain't you supposed to be dead?"
Book sighed, "do we really have to go through this every time?"
"Yup," replied Jayne crossing his arms.
"Fine. Yes, I'm really dead; no, you've not gone crazy, hit your head or had too much to drink; you needed help and I'm here to give you that help."
"And what help is it that you think I need from a dead Shepard?"
"The same sort of help I would have given you if I had still been alive: guidance. You need someone to force you to take a look at the situation, see it as it is, one of your own making."
"What situation?" snapped Jayne defensively.
"You and River."
"WHAT?!" Yelped the merc. Then realizing that the rest of the crew probably heard, him and not wanting to bring them all running in here to see him talking to the dead Book, he said more quietly, "what?"
"You know what I'm talking about. You've been dancing around that girl making her head turn and not doing anything to make the situation move forward."
"Huh?"
Sighing again, Shepard Book tried once more, "you and River have been flirting with each other. You have both developed feelings for one another but you are not doing anything about it. That's why you are in here feeling sorry for yourself and she is in the mess with the rest of the crew having a good time. You are alone because you chose to be."
Jayne didn't even bothering trying to deny what the Shepard had said; he was dead after all and what was the point of arguing with a goram dead man?
"Mal would space me."
"So?"
"Her brother would shoot me full of some drug that would make me do the Chicken Dance and then fall down dead. Don't wanna go that way, no dignity."
"Yes, I can see how that might be an unappealing death. But do you really think River would allow Mal or Simon to harm you?"
After considering for a moment, Jayne said softly, "no."
"Do you think she would stand between you and the airlock or Simon's needle if it came to that?"
Another pause before Jayne replied "yeah."
"And do you know why that is?"
A much longer pause as Jayne's forehead wrinkled as he thought. Finally he said in a whisper, "because she loves me."
"Got it in one try," said the Shepard smiling. "So why are you in here alone? Because you are afraid. You don't have to be alone any more but you are frightened of what might happen. Frightened of not being good enough for her, frightened of losing her in some distant future where something happens to her. You are sitting here alone because you chose to be. It might not be an active choice but you are choosing to not have a relationship with River past what you have now. You are making the choice. She won't. She is uncertain of your response if she should try to move things forward. And so my young friend, it is up to you. What choice will you make? Sit here alone or go to her?"
Jayne glanced up at the Shepard; he was already beginning to fade back into the ether from which he had come.
"Thanks Shepard. We miss you. And tell Wash we miss 'im to 'specially Zoƫ."
Book smiled. "I will. You know I'm here if you need me."
As the Shepard faded away, the merc sat sitting for several minutes. Finally he got to his feet and began to move.
Jayne walked in to the mess without taking his eyes off River. Walking up to her he placed his hands on her arms and pulled her gently to her feet. He leaned down and kissed her softly. At first she hesitated in surprise but then she began to respond. When Jayne felt her lips part and her tongue seeking his he began to kiss her more deeply; he kissed her with everything he was and everything he hoped to be.
When they finally pulled apart River had tears in her eyes.
"What are you doing?" She asked with a tremble in her voice.
"Making a choice." Jayne said firmly kissing her again.
