AN: Ok, here's the next chapter – as promised…every second day…hehehe…thanks for the reviews, and thanks to…the reviewers who found out what I was going to do. Damn. Spoil all the fun…lol…Again, IchiRukiness will come. All in due time. Just wait, a little longer my friends XD. Well, anyway, here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach

A Summer Job: Search and Assimilate (Part I)

"Uh…" Ikkaku hesitated, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. Beside him, his…gender-confused teammate also looked flustered.

"No choice. You know he is the communications expert – whether you like it or not."

Damn.

Ikkaku growled. "Fine."

"Oh, and please tell Mayuri that I must see him after he has finished giving you the equipment. That will be all for now."

"Uh…will he know what you want him to speak to you about?"

"Yes, yes, just tell him I need to see him about 'The Set up'."

"Right…"

They had been at Yamamoto's office, being called there for a quick debriefing of their mission. Frankly they didn't give a damn about debriefing and all that jazz, but it was just another code of conduct they had to do. Another thing they had to do was get their equipment for the mission. Usually, this wouldn't be the case, since all shinigami's were given their own little personal transmitter that would communicate with Soul Society if the need arose.

However, they had been told that they would be using slightly different equipment for this mission. That, in itself wasn't the problem. There was nothing unusual about getting slightly different equipment for a specialised mission. The big problem (for everyone) was that to get your different equipment you had to go visit a certain Captain. Mayuri.

Ikkaku shuddered. That freak. Ikkaku wasn't afraid of him it was just that, anyone in their right senses would immediately feel disgusted by the man. He wore a strange black mask – what was with that anyway? – and a totally unfashionable hat that tilted strangely to the side. Yes, he was definitely one of the stranger captains. Putting that aside however, they had been ordered to go retrieve their new equipment from the captain, and he and Yumichika were now on the path to his quarters.

Even Yumichika, who was usually loud, had quietened down a fair bit. Though, he did pop in the expected comment that Mayuri could really do with a makeover. Ikkaku just rolled his eyes.

They stopped in front of Mayuri's office. They were about to enter when they heard voices coming from inside.

"OI! STUPID WOMAN!"

"Sorry."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'SORRY'?"

"I'm sorry I said 'sorry'."

"SHUT THE HELL UP! AND WIPE THE DAMN BENCH!"

"…"

"WELL?"

"…"

"DAMN YOU WOMAN! SAY SOMETHING!"

"I'm sorry, but you told me to 'Shut the hell up'. I am merely complying, Kurotsuchi-taichou."

"ARGH!"

Ikkaku and Yumichika looked at each other with large eyes. Poor Nemu, they both thought. Mayuri was really insane. Speaking of the devil, and it wasn't a far cry from the devil really, Mayuri came to his desk and sat down. He ignored them.

"Oi, Kurotsuchi," Ikkaku said, deliberately ignoring the honorific.

The masked captain turned to the speaker, cocking his head. "What do you want?"

Seeing that his friend was about to get into a rather heated verbal battle, if not worse, Yumichika stepped in.

"Actually, we were sent here by Yamamoto to retrieve some…new equipment, specified for our mission," Yumichika said as sweetly as he could, earning a well-deserved glare from his counterpart.

The masked captain looked disgusted. "Hn."

The two members from the 11th squad looked at each other, wondering what they were going to do next.

"Well, if you would just wait here a few minutes, I shall get the required equipment. Do NOT touch anything," he warned in his weaselly voice, as he walked out the back door.

The two members waited till he had gone out, then breathed a sigh of relief. Even though they were pretty high ranking members of the most feared squad, Mayuri was a tad…insane.

Ikkaku couldn't help but glance on the captain's desk. Surprisingly, everything was pretty much in order, save for the odd pencil and paper here and there. His eyes wandered easily over one of the papers that lay upturned on the captain's desk.

It read: The Set up: Large screen communications device.

Underneath the title, it had a large picture of some sort of…black scaly screen, similar to the one Hitsugaya-taichou had used in the real world when they had been there. Except, this one looked a lot bigger.

"Freakin' weirdo," Ikkaku mumbled under his breath.

Yumichika, on the other hand, didn't say anything, but it was obvious that he was mirroring his teammate's thoughts.

Meanwhile, behind the doorframe, Mayuri's face twitched. I heard that, you worm. You shall pay! I am not a 'weirdo'. What is a 'weirdo' anway?

A moment later, a smiling Mayuri emerged from who knows where. He handed them the equipment politely. Ikkaku frowned. There was something wrong about this Mayuri. Before he could ponder about what exactly was wrong, the captain interrupted his thoughts.

"Ok, this," he said, holding up a square shaped device, "is a transmitter."

Ikkaku rolled his eyes. It looked exactly the same as every other transmitter. The captain glared at him. "Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking. But don't flaunt your ignorance – this device is a lot more powerful – and longer lasting than the ones you already have."

"But-…"

The captain glared at him again. "I said, do not flaunt your ignorance. Now, the rest of the things I gave you should be in order."

Ikkaku groaned, but closed his mouth.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Scat!"

Ikkaku and Yumichika walked out of the doorway, but not before Yumichika had said, "Oh, Yamamoto told us to tell you that he wants to see you about 'The Set up'."

The two shinigami's stood outside the 11th division quarters, obviously debating about something.

"Look, it's midday! I have to do my hair again!"

"What the hell? Who gives a damn about your hair?"

"I do, and since we are going to be assimilating among the crowds I must look my best."

Ikkaku looked at his teammate, disgusted. It was in times like these he wondered why he had ever made friends with this…this…gender-confused shinigami.

"You must look your BEST? If we're going to be assimilating, shouldn't that mean you look normal?"

"Oh, shut-up. I meant, I have to look good for Renji-kun to notice me."

"Ugh," Ikkaku deadpanned. "Actually, I think that might mean he'd run away from you."

"Oh, shut-up!" Yumichika said, in a disgustingly (but very accurate) girly voice.

Ikkaku let out a groan. "Fine, fine, do your hair, you girly man."

"Oh thank-you, Ikkaku!" With that, the girl/guy shinigami launched himself at Ikkaku, attempting to pull him into a rather large bear hug. Ikkaku slammed his fist into his friends face.

"Get. Lost. And. Hurry. Up." Ikkaku growled, trying to mask his fear of the girly man and his hugs.

"I'm going, I'm going, tra-la-la-la-la!"

50 minutes later Ikkaku was still standing in the same spot, looking exactly the same. Well, almost the same, apart from the fact that the side of his head had an extremely large vein throb.

"ARGH!" He cried out, oblivious to the stares of the passers-by. "This is why I don't have any hair!"

The passers-by just walked faster.

55 minutes had passed. And Ikkaku was still alone. And, he was hungry – since it was midday. They had planned to eat in the real world, but since Yumichika was busy styling his hair to look like an Egyptian, well, it looked like that plan wasn't going to come to execution any time soon.

"Crap. I think I might need a bite to eat," he mumbled to himself, oblivious that a certain pink haired shinigami was listening intently to his conversation to himself.

Except, even though she was intently listening, all that her ears picked up was, "I think I might need a bite…"

Oh, Ikkaku needs a bite! I'll help him!

With that, the ravenous young vice-captain of the 11th division jumped down from her hiding place, with her mouth wide open, ready to strike.

AAAHHH-UMMPH!

As usual, her superb acrobatic skills landed her safely, and securely on Ikkaku's back, and she had secured her mouth to his baldhead.

"ARGH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YACHIRU?"

Yumichika walked out of 11th division quarters feeling very happy, and very bouncy. Rather disturbing to say the least. Anyway, he walked out, and was immediately met with yells of, "GET OFF ME YOU FREAK!" and, "But I want to chew on your head!"

Oh. Must be Yachiru at work again. He could practically hear the slobber falling down on the ground from her mouth.

"Oh, how not-beautiful," he murmured demurely, casually surveying the scene in front of him.

"SHUT-UP GIRLY MAN! HELP ME GET HER OFF!"

Yumichika sighed, a deep, mournful sigh. "If I must, oh friend, if I must."

With that cheesy line, he stepped up behind his screaming friend, and grabbed on to Yachiru. Big mistake. Yachiru whipped her head around and the slobber she was excreting beautifully flew through the air to meet Yumichika smack in the face. And that's exactly what it sounded like.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't see you!"

Yumichika just screamed, then turned and ran straight back to the bathroom, leaving droplets of spit along the hallways of the 11th division. Yachiru just gave a little giggle, and then continued to chew on Ikkaku's head.

"Jeez…my head still hurts."

"Your head hurts? What about my beautiful face?"

The two shinigami were now at the real world, and currently discussing their plan of action. All that had been ordered was that as soon as Renji was found they were to notify Soul Society immediately.

"Shut-up about your face already. Anyway," Ikkaku said, his voice turning more serious. "We should find a good place to change into our gigai's."

"And then?"

"And then we…just walk around, I guess, until we sense his spirit power."

"Yeah…any ideas where we should check around first?"

"Well…from what I remember, teenage kids like to go to the mall about this time of night."

"The mall?" Yumichika looked doubtful, as if trying to remember what exactly a 'mall' was.

"Yes, the mall. Remember? That huge shop we went to."

"O-oh…that one. Oh yes, I remember!" Yumichika said, "The one where they sell… 'lipstick'!"

Ikkaku sweatdropped. "You freak," he mumbled underneath his breath. "Anyway," he said more loudly, choosing to ignore the homosexual comment that had come out of his friend's mouth, "We better change into our gigai's."

"Mmm…"

"Keep a sharp lookout for Renji's spirit force. It could come back at any minute."

The question is; is it going to come back?

Yumichika looked at his friend, his expression suddenly serious. "Don't worry, we'll find him."

"Yeah. Let's go."

As they bounded off into the night, Yumichika remembered what relationship Ikkaku had with the red-haired vice-captain. Renji had approached Ikkaku, and simply asked him for training. At first, Ikkaku had declined, too intent on honing his own powers. However, the boy was persistent, so finally Ikkaku had asked why the hell was Renji asking to become more powerful.

That, Yumichika thought, changed the relationship between the two. After Renji had confessed that all he wanted to do was become better than Byakuya, instead of laughing, Ikkaku simply started to train him. It probably came down to the fact that, the two had similar goals. Ikkaku, despite the fact that he wanted to stay under Kenpachi, still wanted to surpass his captain. And so, since the boy (at that time) had wanted to surpass his own captain, Ikkaku willingly helped.

That was why, even though Ikkaku hated searching missions, since they were pretty boring, he still accepted.

"Wow, its been a while since we've been here."

"Yes! Yes! I want to go get some of that 'lipstick'" Yumichika said, oblivious to the stares of the people around him.

"Oi," Ikkaku hissed, clearly annoyed, "Shut the hell up."

But it was too late, people were already whispering stuff like, "Oh, a guy and his boyfriend," or, "That's not something you see everyday," and, "Don't look Tommy!"

But it was the last one that sent everyone scattering away. Some old granny had muttered, "What a bald head!"

A few minutes later, the two shinigami (now dressed in everyday clothes) walked through the shopping mall peacefully – not to mention the 10 metre radius everyone was leaving for them.

They walked like that for a few minutes, and then Ikkaku stumbled upon the food court.

"Mmm…that smells good," he said, after picking up a waft from the food stores. "Let's go eat."

He had to drag Yumichika along, who was too busy looking at himself in the shop windows. Finally they ordered, and received their food – luckily Yamamoto had provided them with some world money. Something he hadn't done last time he had sent them there. Luckily they had stumbled upon one of Ichigo's friends, Keigo. They had stayed over at the guy's place – well his sister's anyway – and ate their food.

The two guys looked around, looking for a place to sit. Finally they spotted a 4-seater table, but when they neared, they found that it was already taken – well half of it was anyway.

"Ah, stuff it, we'll just sit opposite to whoever is sitting there," Ikkaku said, now extremely ravenous.

Yumichika agreed, trying to quell the grumbles that came from his stomach. He had been on a diet when he last came to the real world, and he hadn't tasted much of the food.

"Ok, remember, just act normally."

"Yep!"

Ikkaku stared at his friend. "Normal as in, not homosexual."

"Yep!"

"Not girly either."

"Oh."

"That's better. Lets go."

They strode up to the table, looking at the backs of the two occupants. They were hunched forward, seemingly engaged in some sort of…watching. One of the occupants' hair was brown, while the smaller occupant's hair was black. Not really recognising the familiar hairstyles due to their hunger, they walked around the table and faced the two occupants. Namely, Keigo and Mizuiro. And their bleeding noses.

AN: Well, that's all for now. Sorry that I didn't get the chance to elaborate on Renji's story. Hehehe…no that was not at all deliberate. Why would I do that? HAHAHAH! REVIEW! AND YOU WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO RENJI! IF YOU DON'T, I SHALL DISCONTINUE THIS FIC! MUAHAHAHAHA…lol.. anyway…

Ok, any questions – direct them to me in the review. Um…yeah I guess that's pretty much it. Till next time XD