Hello all! Thank you very much for your reviews. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Christmas was insane and then work was just as crazy because of the holidays. Anyway, right now as I type this it is 2:27am, and I have been up for nearly twenty-four hours, but I worked hard on this chapter to finish it and I'm going to post it now. I hope you all like this chapter, as always, I'm not so sure about it. If there are a lot of typos, etc., I'm sorry. I proofread it twice, but I'm always bound to miss something and this is the longest chapter I've ever written, 4,200 words. I better stop rambling now, thank you very much again and let me know what you think.

Note: Dialouge in bold is spoken in Elvish.

Disclaimer: I own nothing associated with Lord of the Rings.

Chapter 10

The elves of the realm of Lothlorien did not often welcome strangers, much like their kinsmen in Mirkwood; strangers were turned away or imprisoned. Carita knew that the evil Frodo carried would more than likely not be allowed in, and she wished they would allow them at least one nights rest in the city so they could sleep in some peace and morn properly for the loss of their friend. She stood between Boromir and Legolas as the tall elf that had spoken to them before stepped up to Legolas.

"Mae govannen, Legolas Thranduilion (Welcome Legolas, son of Thranduil)," the elf said as he put his hand over his heart and bowed his head. Legolas did the same and kept his gaze on the other elf.

"Govannas vîn gwennen le, Haldir o Lórien (Our Fellowship stands in your debt, Haldir of Lórien)," Legolas said and Haldir looked glanced at Carita and then looked to the others, however, he stopped and looked at her more closely. Carita looked down and cursed the light of the moon that filtered in through the trees as the sun had set as their party climbed up onto the lookout talan.

"Carita, daughter of Varda," Haldir breathed and she looked at him before she bowed her head. He looked away from her quickly and to the others when his eyes fell on Aragorn. "A, Aragorn in Dúnedain istannen le ammen (Oh, Aragorn of the Dúnedain, you are known to us)," he said as he walked over to stand before Aragorn.

"Haldir," Aragorn said with a bow of his head.

"So much for the legendary courtesy of the Elves! Speak words we can also understand!" Gimli demanded and Haldir looked at him. Carita looked to the dwarf, now was not the time for Gimli to show his distrust of the elves.

"We have not had dealings with the Dwarves since the Dark Days," Haldir said and Gimli glared at him.

"And you know what this Dwarf says to that? Ishkhaqwi ai durugnul!" Gimli exclaimed. Carita raised an eyebrow and Aragorn grasped Gimli's shoulder as he turned around and looked at the dwarf.

"That was not so courteous," Aragorn hissed and Haldir looked away and continued down the line of the party. His eyes rested on Frodo and his posture stiffened.

"You bring great evil with you," Haldir said before he turned and looked at Aragorn with heated eyes. "You can go no further." He said as he turned from the fellowship and walked towards his guards. Carita made to go to him and speak with him when Legolas grabbed her arm. She watched as Aragorn moved to the ellon and she looked at Legolas.

"We need to tend to your wound on your temple," Legolas said. Carita shook her head.

"I am fine," she said softly and Legolas kept his grip on her arm.

"You are not fine, I shall tend to it and then you can say that you are fine," he said and Carita frowned before she jerked her arm away from him. She would put up with no one ordering her any longer.

"Stay away from me," she hissed suddenly and Legolas stepped back from her. Carita walked away from him and the others before she settled herself near the edge of the talan. She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her thighs before she put her face in her hands. She was angry, not angry with Legolas or the others, but with Gandalf. She hated that she was angry with him, but angry she was. If he would have allowed her to stand with him, if he would have listened, if he would have just grabbed onto her hand when she reached for him he would be alive. He should not have fallen.

As she sat, she could hear Aragorn arguing with Haldir for their passage into the city and then as the elf took a deep breath. Carita lifted her head and looked over her shoulder to see Haldir step away from Aragorn and look at the fellowship.

"You will follow me," Haldir said and Carita stood swaying on her feet as she did so, but she caught her footing before she walked to where the others stood. As she waited to descend the high tree, she glanced at Legolas only to see him look away from her quickly. She would have to apologize to him once more, and she sighed before she followed Boromir from the talan.

The sun had risen and Carita was thankful for the light as they walked. If memory served her well, they were still at least another day's journey to the heart of the Elvin realm. She could not wait for a proper rest within the realm and for a proper place to morn her friend.

The party stopped for a moment so the hobbits and the others could rest. Legolas glanced at Carita as she sank down onto the ground next to Pippin. He had known that her anger the night before was not solely directed at him. He had been forward and rash with her, but it was only because that he worried about her. She was weak and from more than just her wounds. Legolas watched her closely as she forced a smile as Pippin offered her a piece of bread that she declined.

"We continue on," Haldir said and Legolas watched as Carita sighed quietly and stood from the ground before she helped Pippin and Merry onto their feet. She followed behind the hobbits and glanced at him. That time he did not look away and met her eyes. She gave him a soft smile and then looked away and ahead of them once again and Legolas followed behind her.

Carita had felt Legolas' gaze upon her as she had sat with the hobbits and she was glad when she had looked at him the second time that he had held her gaze. She would take her time and not rush her apology there was no cause to do so when there were so many prying ears and odd looks sent her way by the elves of the company that led them through the trees.

The day was drawing to a close when they reached a cliff and Haldir smiled as he came to a stop and looked out into the distance at a tall cluster of trees. Carita gasped and smiled a smile of her own at seeing the trees. It had been ages since she had looked upon the trees of Caras Galadhon and they looked just as magnificent as they had the first time she had ever laid eyes upon them.

"Caras Galadhon...the heart of Elvendom on earth. Realm of the Lord Celeborn and of Galadriel, Lady of Light," Haldir said and Carita's smile grew. She was in need of another friend and Galadriel would hopefully give her heart some much needed lifting. The hobbits could not lift her spirits for they too were grieving and she felt that Frodo blamed himself just as she blamed herself for Gandalf's passing into shadow. "We shall rest for the night and make our way at the first light of dawn," Haldir said. "We have traveled far for the halfings and they are in need of a nights rest."

While Haldir turned and spoke with several elves, Carita busied herself in helping the hobbits lay out their bedrolls when a hand was upon her shoulder. She turned her head slightly and winced at the slight pain that hit her, but met Aragorn's gaze.

"Since you would not allow Legolas to tend to your wound, will you allow me?" he asked and Carita looked at Legolas briefly to see him talking quietly with Haldir and the others before she looked at Aragorn.

"How did you know of that?" she asked as she stood fully and Aragorn lowered his hand. "You were busy bartering for our passage." Aragorn gave her a smile and she sighed quietly. "I trust then that your friend spoke of it to you." Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

"He is only my friend now?" Aragorn asked.

"Nay," she said after a few minutes of silence. "He is mine too," she finished and Aragorn nodded.

"Come and let me tend to it before more harm than good becomes of it," he said and Carita nodded as she let him lead her to a fallen log for her to sit upon. She stole a glance at Legolas once more and caught his gaze as he looked at her. Blushing slightly at being caught she turned away and looked a head. Her heart raced and she mentally shook her head. She had promised herself that nothing would break her and yet one ellon was doing just that.

The sun had disappeared and the light of the waxing moon filtered down through the trees and upon the company. Carita sighed as she looked up at the silver light. At times she wished that Lady Varda had not spun the light of the moon into her and that the moon did not make her glow, but she would not undo her creation even after everything that she had seen happen, she was happy and thankful to be alive, even if it was only to be for a little longer.

The soft snores of the hobbits filtered through the air and Gimli's gruff snores echoed slightly. Boromir laid awake, but weary as his body slowly relaxed and allowed him some sleep. Aragorn sat near Haldir talking quietly and quickly. Legolas stood near where Carita sat and took courage as he moved closer to her.

"I am glad that you allowed Aragorn to tend to your wound," he said and he looked at her. The man had cleaned it and applied a paste he carried in his pocket that took the pain away. "I am not as skilled as he is, but I would have done just as well."

"It is not the fact that you would have been my healer," Carita explained as she looked up at him. "I merely do not like to be ordered," she finished quietly and Legolas sat down upon the log and looked at her intently.

"I understand," Legolas said quietly.

"I am sorry," she said and Legolas nodded.

"I know you are," he told her. He reached over and took her hand and she squeezed it firmly when she felt her emotions swirl and her grief for Gandalf started to spill over and tears came to her eyes. She looked at Legolas as she tried to push back her tears and he leaned into her and put his free hand on her cheek. "You do not have to be strong all the time, Carita," he told her softly and she sniffed as a tear trickled down her cheek and onto his fingers.

"I must remain strong for as long as I can, and we are near the Elvin city where I can shed my grief fully," she whispered her voice shaking as she did so. Legolas sighed and ran his thumb across her cheek wiping away her tear.

"It shall be your downfall before we even make it to the Elvin city. Your wounds and your broken heart will not do you any good," he told her as he pressed his palm to her cheek and squeezed her hand. Carita managed a smile as she looked at him and sniffed.

"It lightens my heart to know that you are not angry with me for the way I treated you, and that you care enough to fear for my well being," she said and Legolas lowered his hand from her face and covered their already bound hands with his other hand.

"We all care for you, but the others do not see what I do. They do not see that the light in you has dimmed." Carita frowned and looked down at his large hands that covered her much smaller ones.

"I'll be fine with time," she said quietly and turned her eyes back to him and his gaze locked on her. "I have lost many friends in my lifetime and I expect just like all the times before, my heart will heal and my light will strengthen." She moved her other hand and let it rest over his. "When we get to the city, and once we rest properly, I shall tell you what you wished to know when we were in the caves." Legolas shook his head.

"You do not have to," he said quickly and Carita shook her head in turn.

"I do not have to, but I do owe you an explanation and the truth is always the best step to take," she said and Legolas gave her a curt nod. She closed her eyes and sighed softly as she let her hand fall from his and raised it to her forehead. "I'm afraid I must sleep for a time," she said as she opened her eyes and looked at Legolas.

"I will let you rest," he said before he let go of her hands and stood from the bench. "Rest well, Carita."

"You as well," she said quietly as she moved to the moss covered grass and laid her tired body down upon the ground and slowly let sleep claim her body. Legolas watched as Carita slowly fell asleep and he turned from her only to nearly collide with Haldir. The broad shouldered ellon glanced at Carita and then looked to Legolas, but the elf just shook his head and moved to find his own rest for the night.

As the following day came to an end, Carita felt a wave of peace wash over her as they stepped within the realm of the city. The fading light of the sun filtered in through the towering trees that were just as old if not older than Carita herself. "My friend, it has been so long since I last laid eyes on you,"came a soft and familiar voice in her head.

"It has been a long time, but our meeting comes with heavy news,"Carita thought and she felt her friend slip from her mind as Haldir led them up the many steps that would take them to Celeborn and Galadriel's talan.

The party came to a stop on the lowest level of the talan before another flight of stairs. Carita stood next to Legolas and waited patiently for Celeborn and Galadriel to make their way to the waiting party. A soft light started to glow upon the stairs and all eyes turned to the top of the stairs to see a fair and handsome ellon make his way down the stairs his hand helping guide a tall fair haired and beautiful elleth down the stairs. Both were dressed in white and Carita found a small smile make its way across her face as she saw Galadriel and Celeborn before she bowed her head with the others.

"The enemy knows you have entered here. What hope you had in secrecy is now gone. Nine there are here, yet ten there were, set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf?" Celeborn asked as he scanned their faces. "For I much desire to speak with him...I can no longer see him from afar." Galadriel let her eyes rest on each member of the party before she looked at Carita and then Aragorn.

"Gandalf the Grey did not pass the borders of this land," Galadriel said softly and Carita bowed her head as she closed her eyes. "He has fallen into shadow." Carita could hear the sadness in Galadriel's voice and she opened her eyes and looked at the elleth.

"He was taken by both Shadow and Flame: a Balrog of Morgoth," Legolas said and Carita could feel him tremble from both anger and sorrow. "For we went needlessly into the net of Moria," Legolas finished and Gimli bowed his head. Carita subtly reached and squeezed Legolas' hand before she let it drop from hers and moved her hand to her side.

"Needless were none of the deeds of Gandalf in life. We do not yet know his whole purpose. Do not let the great emptiness of Khazad-dûm fill your heart, Gimli, son of Glóin," Galadriel said and Gimli looked up at her as she spoke. "For the world has grown full of peril. And in all lands, love is now mingled with grief." Carita sighed quietly and looked down at the floor once more. "As you have said many times, my friend, take heart," Galadriel said to her in her mind and Carita nodded before she lifted her head and looked forward one more. She heard Boromir take a shaky breath and she looked at him to see him look away from Galadriel quickly and Carita frowned.

"What now becomes of this Fellowship? Without Gandalf, hope is lost," Celeborn said and Carita looked at him.

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn, my old friend," Carita said and Celeborn looked at her. "Hope is never lost," she said firmly her own will and hope returning.

"The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all," Galadriel said. "As Carita has said, hope remains while the company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled. Go now and rest for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight you will sleep in peace. Our city shall be your refuge for as long as possible and until your path is decided." Galadriel glanced at Frodo as the party was led away and Carita took a slow breath as she followed Legolas back down the stairs. She knew her tale for Legolas would be coming soon, but first a hot bath and some fresh clothes were in order and she could not wait to wash away the dirt from her travels and her grief.

Bathed and dressed in a cream gown that was provided by one of Galadriel's handmaidens she slowly made her way to the fellowships camp. While the others, except for Legolas, would be sleeping on the soft moss beds of the forest floor, she was given a small talan for her refuge and that was where her belongings, including her sword rested. She would admit to no one that it felt good to not have to carry the weight of her blade at her side. She neared the group to see Legolas carrying a pitcher near the water fountain, but stopped as a soft voice suddenly filled the air.

"A Olórin i yaresse, mentaner i Numeherui," came a gentle voice of an elleth in the distance. "Tírien i Rómenóri."

"Melme nóren sina, núra ala, Eäro," joined the voices of other elves and Carita sighed softly as she quickly made her way to the others.

"A lament for Gandalf," Legolas said softly as he looked down at the water and listened to the voices as they continued to sing.

"What do they say about him?" Merry asked and Legolas sighed quietly.

"I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near," Legolas responded as he turned and looked at the hobbits.

"They sing words of sadness, Merry," Carita said as she walked over to where Legolas stood and all eyes turned her to her. "How they shall miss him and never forget him." Merry and Pippin glanced at each other before they sighed softly and settled back into their beds. Frodo looked off into the distance and Sam sat up to fix his pillows. Carita looked at Legolas and gave him a small but sad smile.

"You look much better," he told her and she laughed despite the sadness the song of the elves had brought to her heart.

"I feel a little better, physically," she said and Legolas nodded as he sat the pitcher down on the edge of the fountain. Glancing at Aragorn and the others, she looked back at Legolas. "Walk with me?" she asked and he nodded as she turned around and led him down a path through the large trees. They came upon a small clearing with three small stone carved benches. Carita moved within the clearing and sat down. Legolas followed suit and took a seat next to her and she looked down, her dark hair falling over her shoulder. "What name did you hear me speak when I slept in Moria?" she asked before she looked up and met his gaze.

"Annatar," Legolas spoke slowly and with a bitterness to his voice as he said it.

"I will ask for you to understand," Carita said as she looked at him. "I was young, a fool, and blind to all that was before my eyes because I was lost in love." Legolas furrowed his brow, but waited for her to continue. "Just after my second century and before I was sent to Middle Earth from the West, I met a fellow Maia. He charmed me with words and I fell in love with him." Legolas stiffened, however, Carita pressed on. "He was good, kind, loving, and gentle with me, but what I did not know was that he was evil, cruel, hateful, and spiteful when he was not with me.

"I was sheltered from his darkness because My Lady wished to keep my mind and heart free of such darkness, but when I started to see his evil I fought to be free of him . . .," she trailed off and closed her eyes as the first night of her imprisonment came back to her.

Carita groaned as she raised her hand to her forehead and the throbbing that suddenly made its presence known. She was laying upon a soft bed with a thick fur blanket. She opened her eyes to find herself in a dark shrouded room that was lit by only the small fire that burned in a stone fireplace. Carita sat up with a frown as she looked around. Last she remembered she had been in her home arguing with Annatar and then darkness.

"You are awake, young one," Annatar said as he shifted in his seat near the fireplace.

"Annatar, where am I? Where have you taken me?" she asked as she climbed from the bed and swayed slightly on her feet.

"Do not use that name," he hissed and Carita frowned. "You will no longer address me in that way pet," he whispered and she felt the familiar pull in her mind. Shaking the feeling away she looked at him fiercely.

"I do not understand, what is going on?" she demanded.

"Listen to me, Carita; nothing is going on that concerns you. All you need to do is remain here and do as I say," he said gently as he moved and stood before her putting his hands on her shoulders. The pull was once again on her mind and she could not fight it. She nodded numbly and Annatar smiled down at her as he pushed her hair from her face. "Kiss me," he demanded feverishly and gripped her shoulders so hard she could feel his nails dig into her skin through her dress. She gasped and shook her head as she tried to pull herself from his grasp, but her body would not do as she willed it to and her lips went crashing against his even though tears fell from her eyes as she tried to pull away. She did not want to kiss him, she wanted answers. Answers that she suddenly knew she would never get.

"My life in his care was dark," she whispered as she wiped away her tears as the memory left her. "I nearly fell into the darkness with him, but I conquered his magic and pulled myself free from it. I fought against him, but I could do little for he had his hunters always searching for me and I was more of a hindrance to the fight than an aid. I was sent away and hidden until the battle was over and he was defeated."

"You cannot mean . . .," Legolas said slowly unable to fully process the words that he had just heard. Carita sniffed quietly and met his gaze evenly.

"I was his lover, he was mine, and I loved him with everything, until I realized what he truly wanted. He was hungry for power, destruction, and filled with hatred. I wished for nothing he desired." Legolas stood and took a few steps from her and for some unknown reason to her she felt her chest tighten as he moved away. "Please do not go," she whispered pleadingly and Legolas looked at her.

"I need time, Carita, to process what you have just told me," he said and Carita felt more tears escape from her eyes. "You were Sauron the deceiver's lover? You were with him when he began his quest for power? How could you not have known?" Legolas asked and when Carita had no answer when he wanted one, he turned on his heals and left her alone in the clearing.