A CASE OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS
The person (or victim) in our next portrait, didn't witness such a painful death like Miss Patecleaver. This person's death was very quick, and you might say he went up in a blast of glory. Our next portrait depicts here, this stately ambassador in his immaculate-looking suit - a fellow named Mr. Alexander Nitrokoff. Now, diplomat Nitrokoff was a very stern man, who loved to give orders to everyone. He was also a very corrupt and deceitful gentleman, and he ... you know as I look upon this portrait there's something quite unusual about it. I can't quite put my finger on it. Oh yes, of course, he's only wearing boxer shorts from the waist down. Now I'm sure you're probably wondering why this serious fellow doesn't have his trousers on. It's an interesting little tale that's displayed here, in this portrait that we entitle: The Stately Ambassador.
Alexander Nitrokoff:
The Stately Ambassador
(1864-1923)
Mr. Alexander Nitrokoff was raised in a wealthy and opulent household. As a child, he grew up fascinated with foreign countries around the globe. His father, an important businessman, traveled to far-flung cities around the world, and after his trips he would always bring back his son a painting or a photograph of these exotic places. Young Alexander became fascinated with these photographs and paintings, each of them depicting a wondrous new place the young lad had never seen before: the jungles of Africa; the tropical South Seas islands; the bustling cities and villages of Europe; the majestic mountains of Asia. It soon became the young boy's ambitions that when he grew up, he would travel to these far away places.
This desire never left the young man, even as he continued his way into college. There he studied foreign and diplomatic relations, and after college, he went into politics. After years of political and foreign knowledge, he was finally elected as a diplomat to the United States embassy in Washington, D.C. A year later, he was then appointed as an ambassador.
As an ambassador, Nitrokoff achieved his dream: he traveled as a United States representative to capitols around the world, seeing exotic new locations. As a representative, he soon gained a reputation as a commanding and brash gentleman. He always thought his opinions were the right ones, and argued with anyone who thought otherwise. And it wouldn't be too long before the seeds of corruption would set in.
While traveling abroad to other countries as a representative of the United States, he was offered secret bribes by radical underground organizations for access to top-secret American documents. Mr. Nitrokoff first scoffed at the notion, proclaiming that he was true and faithful to his country. But eventually, as the bribes grew to larger amounts, the greedy ambassador caved in. Through connections at government office buildings, he was able to obtain copies of important United States documents and smuggled them overseas to the secret underground organizations.
His greed eventually increased, and soon the secret transfers of documents were not enough to satisfy him. When America went to battle in the "Great War" (World War I), Nitrokoff became a war profiteer. Through secret connections, he obtained American and German weapons, automobile parts, and ship parts; which he then later sold on the black market to the highest bidder.
Nobody suspected anything of Ambassador Nitrokoff's secret connections and transactions. Everyone looked upon him as a revered and respected (yet brash) diplomat. And thus, the elderly man was free to continue his secretive smugglings; which would eventually end one night in 1923, where his own greediness would cause his demise.
In what perhaps was the ambassador's most dangerous and traitorous smuggling operation, was the agreement of the diplomat to ship ten kegs of dynamite to an underground guerilla organization in southern Asia. Before exporting the secretive explosives off on a ship, Nitrokoff went down to a warehouse at the docks and met with his contact that obtained the dynamite, to discuss their payment. Being the greedy and stingy man that he was, the ambassador relented to pay his contact what he thought was fair. The contact demanded that he be rewarded more money for such a dangerous operation as this, yet still Mr. Nitrokoff refused. Soon, a fight broke out between the gentlemen, with the contact repeatedly punching the ambassador, before stealing the man's wallet, shoving him into the warehouse, and locking him inside.
Alone in the darkened warehouse, Nitrokoff stumbled around looking for a light. He finally came across a candle lying on the floor, and using a pack of matches from his pocket, lit the wick. However, before he could clearly see what he was doing, he brought the flame of the candle up to a fuse on one of the dynamite kegs, lighting it as well. Hearing the sound of the burning fuse, Nitrokoff quickly looked around and finally discovered in horror what he had just accidentally done. Frantically dashing through the warehouse he looked for another escape route, but soon discovered that the only exit was the one locked door.
His glance then came upon a row of windows that were high up near the ceiling. Quickly and frantically, he piled crates that had been discarded around the warehouse on top of each other, in hopes of climbing atop them to reach and escape through the windows. However, only halfway up, he lost his balance with his pants being caught on the edge of one of the crates. He tumbled down to the floor, with his pants ripping and his shoes flying off his feet. Now in his socks and red and white striped boxer shorts, he made a vain attempt to try to extinguish the fuse in his final moments. However, Mr. Alexander Nitrokoff's time ran out, and he soon went up in a fiery explosion.
A very, twisted little tale, don't you think? I'm sure after witnessing such heinous crimes that he committed, many of us feel that Mr. Nitrokoff got what he rightfully deserved. I think poetic justice is what you might call it - that in the end, his own greed led him to meet his maker. But, you can certainly say one thing about Mr. Nitrokoff: he did leave this world with a bang.
Next chapter: the story of the lovely tightrope walker and how she met her end because of a large reptile.