Culture Shock Part One
by Chara-the-Heart
Summery: I sometimes thought it would be cool to be transportef into an anime. Too bad I didn't consider language barriors, unfortunate misunderstandings or even local foods. psedo-self-insert
Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist (Hiromu Arakawa)
Note: This chapter has some heavy cursing and innuendo! You have been warned!
Chapter Two: In which 'Numa' is a Dirty Song
Train rides were boring. Almost as boring as taking the bus in fact. It didn't help that everyone around her was talking in a forgen language and she couldn't wake up from her dream yet! The blond girl was asleep next to the cosplayer and after a few minutes of attempted coversation Jenna gave up on trying to talk to him and decided to listen to music on her ipod. Inspired by the wierd language she decided to listen to Ozone's 'Numa Numa' song and before long she was happily singing along, not seeing the horrified, blushing faces of the passangers around her.
"Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei
Nu ma nu ma iei nu ma nu ma nu ma iei.
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai."
Al was confused. He thought the strange girl didn't know their language and now she was singing...that. Roughly translated she was singing.
"You are a bastard-bastard-whore
bastard-bastard-whore, bastard-bastard-bastard-whore
Oh come back to me and
sex up with me tonight!"
Al felt embarrassed by the whispers ferosiously spinning around them, "Can you believe the nerve of that girl!?" "Where are the morals of children these days?" "There are children in this compartment, dosn't that girl care?"
Ed had actually woken up due to her singing and he was flushing very badly in front of the girl, "It figures the girl Mustang hired would be a bigger pervert then even he is."
"Maybe she dosn't know what she's saying Ed. Her accent is terrible." Al suggested. But Ed wasn't listening.
With a scowl he roughly tapped the girl on the shoulder and she looked up at him in confusion. "What the heck are you doing girl! That's the worst sounding song I've heard in my life! Where's your sence of woman pride!?"
Jenna couldn't understand what the girl was saying but she did sound angry. What was wrong with her? Maybe 'numa' actually meant something in their language? But what? Judging by the blond's attitude it was probably a rude or insulting word. Well at least now if someone was a jerk she could call them 'nu ma'.
"Okay, I won't sing out loud any more," Jenna said and switched the music to Metallica instead. Almost a half-hour later the cosplayer tapped Jenna on the shoulder and gestured for her to follow him and his companion.
They walked down to a really old fashioned car and it drove them down to a very official building, "Great! The police should have an interpreter on staff and I can go home! You two are great!"
Jenna cheerfully hugged the cosplayed and draped her right arm around the shorter girl blinking in surprise when she felt cold bolts and steel instead of a flesh shoulder. The girl pushed her away and stomped towards the building, dragging her and the cosplayed forcefully behind her.
"MUSTANG!" Ed roared as he finally spotted the Colonal with his usual entourage surrounding him, "Who the hell is she!?"
He pushed the baffled Jenna in front of her and she looked dazedly around the room. She suddenly pointed to a portrait on the wall and babbled something in her odd language.
Roy rose an eyebrow at the display and said, "I don't know what you mean, Fullmetal. She looks to me like a baffled tourist."
"LIAR! I know you sent her to spy on me! Why else would she be in the middle of nowhere waiting for a train? I even asked if you sent her and she agreed!"
"Did she agree verbally, Fullmetal?"
Edward paused in his ranting and shook his head, "No...but she was singing a...strange song a little earlier and I could understand it completely."
Roy smirked and Roy said, "And what song exactly would that be?"
Ed turned to the girl and hissed, "I know I told you to shut up about it but sing that 'bastard-bastard' song so you can prove you speak this language."
Jenna was sure she heard 'numa-numa' mentioned in that sentence. He wanted her to play the song? And after all that rukus on the train? She sighed and pulled out her mini ipod speakers, 'Why do I get the feeling I'm going to regrett doing this?' Jenna thought as she played the song and music filtered into the air.
'Mi-a-hii Mi-a-huu Mi-a-haa Mi-a-ha ha / Mi-a-hii Mi-a-huu Mi-a-haa Mi-a-ha ha / Allo, salut, sint yel, un hydook / she teraw, youbeera mah, primesh der, vericheera / Allo, Allo, sint yel, Picasso / Tiam dat beep, she sen voynic / un dar sege ti notes cher nimeek / Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei / Nu ma nu ma iei nu ma nu ma nu ma iei / Chipul tau si dragostea din tei / Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.'
Mustang began to choke at the lyrics as did the rest of the people around him, "Is this a joke Fullmetal? How does that even prove she knows this language!? She probably dosn't know what it means and likes the tempo of the song, as strange as it is...do you even know her name!?"
Ed turned to the girl and proceeded to point to himself and different people in the room, "Edward, Alphonse, Mustang, Hawkeye, Breda, Havoc, Falman, Fuery." He finally pointed to Jenna.
She rose an eyebrow at the introductions, 'But Edward is a boys name...' With a slightly embarrassed face she pointed to herself and said, "Jenna."
"Well then Miss Jenna," Mustang said with a wince as the song mentioned something exletive involving a tire, three dogs and a ciggerette, causing Havoc to romove his own, "You'll be under arrest and questioning for entering this country without a passport, spying and public discord. Breda take her to prison."
"Yes Sir, Colonal Mustang." Breda said with a salute. And escorted Jenna away from the group with a grimance on his face when the song mentioned something kinky involving a horse, a dog and two fire hydrants.
Jenna found herself in prison. She had all her things taken away, was yelled at in some language and was now wallowing in misery in a jail cell beside several men she was sure wern't making kind comments towards her. "Oh shut up, you numas...why is this happening too me!?"
---End Chapter Two---
Thanks for all your reviews and support everyone! The two pov's in the last chapter was a bit confusing to me so I just blended the story into a more omnisiant pov. Hope you still enjoyed it though!