Sassy: And we're back again!
Angry Kitty: Yes, indeed.
Kagome: Why'd you have to bring US into it, huh?
Inuyasha: Yeah, we were perfectly happy!
Tom: (snort) No you weren't. Between Naraku, your own relationship troubles, and the constant strain of fighting demons, how the fuck were you happy?
Kagome/Inuyasha: …
Angry Kitty: I hate it when she gets all smart.
Flipper: (nods)
Disclaimer: WE CLAIM NOTHING!
CHAPTER FOUR
Angry Kitty and Dark walked into the room smoothly … okay, no they didn't. They were arguing at the top of their lungs, pushing and fighting each other at each turn. Satoshi was being dragged along after them. When Tom saw him, she immediately jumped onto him, pulling him away from the two.
"You are forgiven," she said simply, but her eyes were bright.
"Alright. You can leave," Angry Kitty told Dark, smiling nastily. "Bye now."
"Didn't I tell you? He's staying with us!" Sassy said cheerfully, ignoring the Glare of Horrible DoomTM that Angry Kitty shot at her. Dark nodded with another smile.
"Oh," she said, cat ears twitching angrily. Her voice was bright and cheery, false as it was. "Okay. I'm gonna kill her."
She lunged at Sassy, who skipped away. Flipper and Tom held her back. "No, NO! We NEED her, annoying or not!" Tom yelled furiously, struggling to restrain her. Sassy hid behind Haru.
Momiji was bouncing around the room anxiously. "Don't hurt Sassy!" he cried.
Angry Kitty bristled, "Fine!" She then, calmly, began attacking the wall. Dark gave the rod over to Tom when she looked at him pointedly, then stalked off to talk to Tohru. More like flirt shamelessly. Kyo hovered behind him, scowling menacingly. Flipper was, once again, drawn to Haru.
"Alright, now all we have to do is think of a monster and push the emerald," Angry Kitty said, having finished beating up the wall. (Which was innocent, I tell you! INNOCENT!)
Tom nodded briefly before laying her hand over the "button."
Sassy leapt up and down and screeched, "WAIT! I WANNA DO IT!!!"
The other two looked at her before reluctantly giving her the rod. "Now, listen to me VERY CAREFULLY. All we need is to show them a couple monsters, so bring one giant lion demon and one giant grasshopper demon with big-ass fangs," Tom explained slowly, deliberately, "Whatever you do, do NOT BRING THE ACTUAL CHARACTERS INTO THIS WORLD! No Shippo, no Sango, nada. Do you understand?"
"Of course!" She replied, slapping the emerald happily. Lights exploded from it, making everyone in the vicinity shield their eyes. Soon, sound replaced the light.
"-Believe you would say that!"
"And why wouldn't I? It's true!"
"Grr … SITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT!!!"
The looked up to see Inuyasha in a small crater on the ground, and Kagome standing over him, looking supremely pissed off.
"Oh, great!" Angry Kitty said sarcastically. "You brought Inuyasha and Kagome. Wonderful."
Flipper's eyes sparkled. "Ooh, me next, me next! I wanna push the button next!"
Kagome looked at all of the wide eyes staring at her and blushed.
"Um … hi?"
IIIIIIIIIII
Akito was struggling against the six seat belts he was in, his mouth covered with duct tape.
"There you go, sir," the flight attendant said soothingly to the man Akito had destroyed, as she went to check on Akito himself. Her eyes spat fire.
"Just watch the movie, sir," she said through gritted teeth, before marching off.
Akito lay back against the seat for a moment, panting heavily. Where did he go wrong? Why were none of his faithful servants coming to get him? AND WHERE THE HELL WAS HE GOING?
Oh, right. New York. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FUCKING WORLD!
He began struggling again, and the people around him could still hear his faint screams of, "I AM GOD!!!!"
Freak.
IIIIIIIIIII
Tom had, once again, taken charge. "Now, since we have," she did a quick head-count, "fourteen people, not including the four of us, we're splitting up into groups. I CALL DIBS ON SATOSHI!!!" She immediately glomped his still unconscious form and glared around the room, protectively cradling his head.
"AND I CALL DIBS ON HARU!" Flipper squealed, cuddling his arm (so that he wouldn't transform).
"Uh, yeah … both of those were givens," Angry Kitty said, watching her friend let go of the bluenette.
"Ahem. Angry Kitty, since you and Dark get along SO well, I'm putting him in your group."
There was silence for a beat. Two.
"Oh, to hell with THAT!" Dark spat, scowling menacingly. In another second, a furiously blushing Daisuke stood where Dark had been, fingering his other half's leather ensemble as if embarrassed. He waved meekly.
Angry Kitty forgot about her malicious intent to kill all the squirrels in the vicinity and began tugging on the red, messy spikes that adorned Daisuke's head.
"Ooh, your hair's so shiny …"
Grateful for the distraction, Tom immediately assigned Kisa, Kyo, and Hatori to the group. If anything, Kisa and Daisuke would distract her, and if things got bad, well … Hatori was a doctor, wasn't he?
"Okay, as for Sassy … hey, where IS she?" Tom asked, noting Sassy's absence.
As if just waiting for someone to say her name, Sassy bounded in, and thrust some dark cloth at Kagome.
"What's-?"
"Pants. For all things holy, put them on and shut up," Sassy said, eyeing the girl as she left. "Slut."
Inuyasha pondered what on earth the word, "slut" meant and resolved to ask Kagome later. At the moment, a small girl with tawny hair and smelled like a tiger was looking shyly at his ears. And the small boy next to her (that smelled distinctly sheepish (yay for double meanings!)) was glaring at him. What the hell were these brats looking at?
Inuyasha was brought out of his musings when Kagome came back in; skirt bunched in her hands, but instead of pants, she had cut the legs off to make really really short shorts.
Sassy twitched. "Those were my favorite pair of pants, and you RUINED THEM!" She was about to leap at the other girl, but Flipper distracted her with chocolate, which made her temporarily forget the whole pants issue.
Tom resumed creating "groups."
"As I was saying, Sassy can take Hiro-"
"EW, the SHEEP BOY?"
"Tohru-"
"…"
"Yuki-"
"…"
"And Ayame."
"OH YUKI!!!!" Ayame cried, and Yuki couldn't quite avoid getting a huge hug from his older brother.
But kicked him across the room to make up for it.
While Ayame chanted about brotherly bonding and Yuki glared daggers, Tom continued on as if oblivious, "And I guess I'll take Inuyasha and Shigure."
As Shigure attempted to put the moves on her, Inuyasha demanded answers in hot, angry tones. The room was in chaos as it was, everyone yelling or complaining or generally making a racket.
That's what Satoshi saw, a room full of strange people yelling and carrying on, including the girl who kidnapped him and Daisuke (who was still in Dark's leather outfit AND being accosted by Angry Kitty). In reality, he had been awake for a while … damn low blood pressure.
Satoshi calmly brought two fingers to his lips and blew, the long whistle piercing the disorder and bringing the focus on him.
"Satoshi!"
He acknowledged Daisuke's concern and turned towards the rest of the group.
"Now, will someone explain what the hell is going on?"
ENDKagome: I AM NOT A SLUT!
Inuyasha: What's a "slut"?
Tom: A dirty, slovenly, and sexually promiscuous woman. It's an insult.
Angry Kitty: Again with the smartness!
Sassy: She had a dictionary, retard.
Flipper: AHH, DICTIONARY! IT HURTS MY EYES!
Inuyasha: Don't insult Kagome! TETSUIGA! (sword stays a rusty piece of junk) The hell …?
Sassy: Duh, technically human here!
Angry Kitty: Brilliant, dogface.
Flipper: Ha ha, doggy!
Inuyasha: (growls)
Tom: Why do you people LIKE this crap? Our gracious reviewers are The Girly Man (you are the awesomenesst person ever for continuosly reviewing ALL our stories! (glomps)) and Inu. To answer your question, Inu (since you were anonymous and didn't leave an e-mail address) this story will most likely not get scary. But thanks for saying it was funny!
Sassy: Ooh, that's ... more than last time?
Flipper: Yeah! Wait, no it wasn't.
Angry Kitty: See ya'll in the next chapter!