Summary: Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.
Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.
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(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))
Previously:
Dawn and Buffy walked through the front door still talking about what they were going to do about the situation. Buffy smiled seeing her mother laid back on the couch.
"Hey mum watch ya doing watching TV at this hour" Buffy said plopping herself down in front of her mother. At her mothers lack of response Buffy turned to meet her mothers cold dead eyes.
"Mum...MUM...please wake up...mummy" Buffy yelled. Tears blurring her vision as she shook her mothers body.
"MUM" Dawn cried running over to Buffy prying her hands off their mother. Buffy screaming and crying, body shaking, vision blurred.
Buffy and Dawn couldn't remember who had called Giles or the ambulance, they couldn't remember how it happened all they saw was the body of their mother lying lifeless on the couch. Time seemed to stop, or speed up neither was sure. Buffy lay crying in her mothers room as image after image flashed through her head. Seeing her mother like that and finding her had been that hardest thing she had ever had to live with. Knowing never again would her mother smile, cook her and Dawny breakfast.
With her face covered in tears, Buffy cried herself to sleep on her mothers bed. Her mothers sent surrounding her.
Secrets Out Chapter: 4
...AFTER JOYCES DEATH...
Buffy stayed in her room, refusing to leave the house, she didn't want the comfort from others telling her everything was going to be ok because it wasn't. the one thing she had loved the most in her life was gone. Buffy burst out crying. Her mother was gone never again would she hear her laughter or her voice telling her she was grounded. Her mothers comforting hugs was one thing she would miss the most. Buffy sat in the middle of her bed holding her guitar, pictured of her mother throughout various stages in her life spread across the bed sheet in front of her. Strumming a few chords on her guitar Buffy weeped.
Giles had come to look after Dawn and Buffy after they had all left the hospital, thinking it best that Buffy and Dawn not be alone in a time like this. Joyce had died of a stroke, there was nothing that anyone could have done to save her. Giles sat on the couch and stared at the blank screen on the TV, a bottle of jack loosely hung in his hand. He could hear Dawn crying from her room and the sobs coming from Buffy’s room mixed with notes from a guitar. Rubbing his eyes Giles cried...the woman he had loved, never being able to tell her. He had lost her, and now he swore to himself that taking care of Dawn and Buffy was his number one priority.
...NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL...
"Dude what's up with the nerds today" Riley said breaking his gaze from the group of people who all sat in silence staring out at nothing, as Angel, Conner and Spike sat down next to him. They were a few tables away from the nerds/losers. Spike, Angel and Connor all followed Riley's gaze. Silence. Somber faces all staring out at nothing. They looked so lost. Spike looked at Buffy intently. For one who usually had a golden glow around her was now distant and dim. She looked as if she hadn't slept in a while, her eyes and nose all puffy like she had been crying, her elbows were holding her head up as she stared down at the table.
"Who gives a shit about the losers" Angel laughed feeling awkward. The guys all joined in on the awkward laugh. Spike however wasn't laughing. He looked at Buffy sympathetically. 'This isn't right...their never like this, something's wrong' he thought. A few people had started to joke about the losers and why they looked so sad. Someone had ruined their favorite text book...Their assignment had gotton soaked...the 2 dollar store had run out of jumpers. Buffy looked up and saw Angel and his "posse" laughing at them and saying stuff. Buffy wiped her eyes, tucked the hair behind her ears and got up. She stalked over to where Angel and his group sat at their table.
"Buffy what are you doing" Willow said alert and watching Buffy walkover to Angels table. Dawn lifted her head off the table as Buffy brushed past her. She hoped to god her sister wasn't going to do what she thought she was going to do.
"Do you have something to say Angel, cause if you do say it to my fucking face, don't go laughing around with you uptight jackass friends." Buffy glared at Angel, half but yelling at him. Angel just burst out laughing, Riley and Conner doing the same. Spike just watched, watching the vast amount of emotions crossing over her features.
"Yeah and what is a loser like you gonna do huh, bore me to death." Angel smirked at her laughing as he said it. Buffy's eyes welled up and she scrunched her face in anger. She punched him in the nose.
"You know what I've had enough, I really don't need this right now, just...shut up...how about instead of picking apart our lives take your interest into someone else's...just..." Buffy sighed and gave up she walked back to her table and put her head the way it was before and continued staring at the table. Dawn hugged her sister who had started to cry. Dawn glanced over at Spike a sad look on her face.
"FUCK!, that hurt, stupid bitch" Angel said holding his now bleeding nose. Spike was laughing on the inside, finally someone had hit the stupid poof and a girl at that. Now that was a Kodak moment.
No one had seen Buffy or any of her friends for the remainder of the day. The conclusion he came to was either they were "wagging' which was extremely unlikely or they had left and gone home. Spike was worried he had never seen her like this, he wanted to find out what was wrong and comfort her. He would have to go to the bronze tonight to find out.
...THE BRONZE THAT NIGHT...
Spike watched intently as Buffy and the rest of the band members played their set at the bronze. They were doing a shocking job. Buffy would just stand there at the mike and sing as if all her energy and life force had been sucked right out of her. Oz Strummed his guitar looking miserable, missing half of his cues, and as for Dawn well she hit the drum every few seconds. The band looked so miserable. Spike wondered what had happened overnight to cause the drastic change in their demure.
"What the hell is up with all the fucking girls today man...there all grumpy and shit." Conner said watching couples dance to the sloppy beat that was being played. He had a face of pure boredom, sitting there and drinking his lemonade.
"Don't know man but..." Angel stopped when he saw the slayer walk to the middle of the stage and start to talk. Spike, Riley, Angel and Conner all looked to the stage giving the band their undivided attention.
"Hey guys, I know we haven't been playing very well tonight and this is our last song...it's ded...sigh it's dedicated to someone that has passed away very recently. She was uh...very close to the band. But she was the closest to me and bit cause she was our mum... So we just wanna say goodbye." Buffy said emotion clearly in her voice, stuttering her way through the sentence as tears formed in her eyes. She stood in the middle of the stage staring out at the crowd who now watched silently. Buffy tried to keep a strong face as the slow melody started to played by Dawn and Oz.
The crowd was quite, in a way feeling the pain of the band through their music. Spike sat with Angel, Riley and Connor now understanding why Buffy and her friends had been so down at lunch. He smiled remembering how she had punched Angel. He watched now as she stood in front of a crowd saying goodbye to her mum through her song. Willow came up on stage and sat at the piano. Softly her voice started, the first few chords being stuttered over as she tried to force her tears back.
"I'm so tired of being here, Suppressed by all my childish fears, And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, Cause your presence still lingers here, And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal, This pain is just too real, There's just too much that time cannot erase." Buffy looked at Xander, Giles and Anya who were sitting down at the table down on the floor. They were smiling at her but at the same time they wept. Buffy started to let the tears leak. With tears streaming down her face she sung. For her mother.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of..." Buffy stopped singing. She looked down at the stage floor her body shaking. Wiping her face she looked up. Willow, continued to play.
"You used to captivate me, By your resonating life, Now I'm bound by the life, you've left behind, Your face it haunts, My once pleasant dreams, Your voice it chased away, All the sanity in me. These wounds wont seem to heal, this pain is just to real, there's just to much that time cannot erase. When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of me." Buffy looked at her friends again, glancing out across the Bronze floor numerous people had tears in their eyes. 'Why were they sad, they hadn't lost their mother'. The tears came once more.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along" Oz and Dawn played along with Willow as her fingers numbly swept across the keyboard.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of me..." Buffy's microphone smacked onto the floor with a loud crack. Realization had hit her. HER MOTHER WAS GONE and not coming back. This wasn't like a short holiday where her mother went away for a week or so...this was her life now. Dawn stopped strumming her guitar and rushed over to her sister, hugging her for support as Buffy wept. She picked up the microphone and placed it in it's stand.
"We'll be back tomorrow guys" Dawn said switching of the mike. The crowd remained silent as the music stopped, not sure whether to clap, cheer or stay silent. Giles stood as Dawn helped a distraught Buffy over to their table. The way Buffy had sung, he new her mother would have been proud. Buffy clung to Giles as he hugged her, rocking back and forth to sooth her.
"OH Buffy!" Willow sighed sadly bringing her friend into a tight and reassuring embrace. Angel, Connor, Spike and Riley watched from their table not to far away, any of them not being able to hear much. Giles was reassuring Buffy that everything was going to be ok.
"How can you say that...she's gone and she..." Buffy looked up at Giles from her spot clinging to Willows shoulder. Giles took of his glasses and started to wipe them down with a cloth as Dawn placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Silence'.
"Buffy that was beautiful, your mum would have loved it" Anya said smiling wiping the small tears that had leaked from her eyes. She hugged Buffy.
"Yeah Buff it was great, got me crying...and its hard to make the Xand man cry" Buffy looked up at her friends and let out a small laugh at their feeble attempts to make things better.
"I know its late and all...but would you guys mind if I went to the pools...I need to be alone for a while" Buffy said wiping her face and tucking loose strands of tangled hair behind her ears.
"Of coarse you can...just don't stay out to long...the pools shut at 10:30?" Buffy nodded his answer and quietly headed for the door trying her best to avoid the stares she was getting from the crowd. Many who smiled sadly at her. She didn't want their sympathy...it only made it hurt more.
"Hey did you just hear what I heard" Riley said excitedly looking at Angel, Spike and Connor.
"There is NO FUCKING BLOODY WAY that the slayer if BUFFY FRIGGEN SUMMERS. The slayer is way hotter than Buffy." Angel whispered to his gang with disbelief.
"She said she was going to the pools,...so lets go" Riley said getting up from the table. The rest of the group stood to following Buffy out the door.
"I hope you still in layer mood love" Spike whispered to himself. The chits mother had just died for pitty sake and here his mates are thinking about trying to figure out who the bloody hell she was. 'Sigh' life had the shittest times to reveal things.
Well another chapter down:)...i apologize again for the lateness in my updates. reviews and feedback would be nice. thanx again to Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me