Disclaimer:For legal reasons I'm supposed to say I don't own FF7,it's characters,it's locations,or the word materia
Ch.5
After marching a little ways out into the desert Vincent and Sephiroth had finally started to get over their shock at Tifa giving them orders. Vincent demanded answers while Sephiroth just sorta sat back and attempted to order his thoughts.
"Ok Tifa whats going on?" Vincent demanded, a bit outta character for him, but then again he had spent the last 4 years with Yuffie.
"Ya Teef," Yuffie said, "Tell us whats going on."
"Yes Miss Lockheart I to would like to know why you dragged us out into the middle of this desert." Sephiroth put in rather sarcastically.
"Hey watch it buddy," Tifa said, "This is the second time I've saved your life today." Sephiroth groaned, Yuffie giggled and Vincent just stared.
"Somebody loves Sephiroth!" Yuffie chimed.
"Oh shut up Yuffie," Tifa replied, "We're just dating." Sephiroth looked like he'd been struck by lightning and Vincent fell on his face out of shock.
"W-w-wha..." Sephiroth stammered.
"Your kidding." Vincent said as he stood up.
"Oh Tifa I'm so happy for you!" Yuffie shouted jumping up and down, "Even if he is a raving lunatic."
"He's not crazy any more,just look in his eyes." Tifa said . Yuffie ran over and stared straight at Sephiroth, who was still staring and working his mouth trying to come up with something. Vincent wasn't doing much better.
"Yep he's not crazy," Yuffie said cheerily, "Though he doesn't look all that bright."
"Thats alright I'm sure we can teach him a thing or two." Tifa said. The pair burst out laughing while their men just stared. After a couple of minutes they stopped.
"Well we should get going," Tifa announced, "Comon Sephy."
"WHAT?" Sephiroth burst, this was just too much nobody mutilated his name like that and got away with it.
"I said comon, we should be going before Avalanche sends out search parties." Tifa said.
"No, not that what did you just call me?" Sephiroth ground out, he was not in the most pleasant mood. He was covered in small wounds,worn out, his beloved trench coat was missing, his usually flawless hair was matted down with oil and blood, and now on top of that his name was being dissected, so ya not in a good mood.
"Sephy, it's my new name for you since Sephiroth just sounds to formal," Tifa said with a giggle.
"I don't know Sephy," Yuffie said, fighting a losing battle to control her laughter, " I think it suites you." Sephiroth shot her a glare that had the promise of pain in it, it shut her up for about five seconds,then she started laughing even harder. Sephiroth opened his mouth to say something but Tifa cut him off.
"Oh let it go Sephy," she said.
"Would you stop calling me that!" Sephiroth yelled.
"No, I like it." Tifa said, once again bursting into a fit of giggles, " Don't you Yuffie?"
"Ya, it defiantly has a nice ring to it," Yuffie barely managed to say between giggles.
"Don't I have a say in this?" Sephiroth asked with a groan.
"NO!" they said in unison and promptly resumed laughing.
It went on like this for the next few minutes, Sephiroth making threats and demands which only caused the girls to laugh harder. Vincent wasn't so tickled, his hold tightened on Death Penalty every time Sephiroth threatened his beloved ninja,in fact the only thing that kept him from ending Sephiroth once again is that this was the first time in years he'd seen Tifa truly happy. They finally ran out of breath and Vincent got the chance to say...
"As fun as frying out here in the desert is I think we ought to be going." He said.
"Alright, but where?" Tifa asked.
"Lets find a river," Sephiroth suggested, "I need to wash this stuff out of my hair." They agreed, they needed water anyway. After a few hours of marching they came upon an oasis. It was a rather large oasis with a spring that ran off in a couple of different directions, trees, some undergrowth, it was like a mini jungle. Sephiroth washed up in one of the smaller ponds, hidden behind some convenient bushes. Yuffie thought it would be funny to steal his pants and boats and leave him sitting in the water naked, but there was on thing she hadn't counted on. Sephiroth had no modesty.
"Have you guys seen my pants?" Sephiroth asked walking over to where everyone else was siting. Tifa and Yuffie blushed scarlet and stared. Vincent promptly punched Yuffie in the back of the head.
"Ow Vinny what was that for?"
"Stop staring at other men, you belong to me."
"I don't belong to anyone!" The argument quickly spiraled out of control and into a wrestling match. Tifa probably would have have stared at this extremely uncharacteristic thing for Vincent, but her eyes were glued to Sephirtoth's naked form.
"Tifa...my pants?" Sephiroth asked again, a little agitation in his voice. She just sat and worked her mouth silently.
"Y-y-yuffie took em," Tifa managed finally, "ask her." He walked over and separated the to struggling figures. He held one in each arm.
"Yuffie, my pants?" He said growing fairly tired of the stares and asking.
"Right I'll get em," she said and bounded off.
"Vincent, take inventory on our supplies." Sephiroth ordered releasing the ex-Turk. Unsurprisingly Vincent did as he was told, as he started Yuffie brought Sephiroth his pants and Tifa was finally able to remove her eyes from the personification of perfection, her cheeks were still deep crimson. A few minutes later Sephiroth had a fire going.
"Why do we need a fire in the middle of the desert?" Yuffie asked naively.
"Because we're spending the night hear while we come up with a plan," Sephiroth replied annoyance evident in his voice, "It's it's really cold at night in the desert." By then Vincent had finished cataloging their almost nonexistent supplies.
"I'm finished," he said, "but your not going to like it."
"Alright, bring on the bad news," Sephiroth sighed. Vincent and Seph went over the supplies while Yuffie went off to gather fire wood and Tifa took a bath in the stream.
"Heres where we stand," Vincent said, "Since me and Yuffie left our supplies at an inn because of the need for speed we haven't got anything in the way of food,bedding, medical supplies, or extra clothing. We've only got about five materia between us. One fire, two summons(Ramuh and Leviathan), an All, and a Cure1."
"Fantastic..." Sephiroth mumbled sarcastically dropping his head into his hands.
"But wait, theres more," Vincent said, " We've almost no money, and even if we had it I'm sure Avalanche has put the alert out already so we'd be reported if we show our faces within 3 miles of a town." This was just great, here they were running from one of the world's most powerful armies and they had little more then the clothing on their backs.
"Well as you can see I've nothing more then what I'm wearing and Masumane. As for Tifa, I'm not sure but i doubt she has anything more then a potion or two." Sephiroth stated, " so it seems the first item on our agenda is the acquisition of food for tonight."
"Fish or fiend?" Vincent asked with an amused smile on his face.
"I don't care," Sephiroth said simply, "whatevers easiest." He sat and stared into the fire.How was he going to stop this ridiculous war? He could use the black materia to meteor the capitols, if the planet hadn't confiscated it.There weren't enough neutral people to join him so... fiends maybe? Maybe, but that would be such a chore. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he didn't even notice someone calling his name.
"Sephy?Sephy?Sephy whats wrong?" Tifa asked, "Sephy?Sephy?!!"Now she was getting annoyed.
"SEPHIROTH!!!!!" She screamed in his ear.The result was Sephiroth jumping up and nearly impaling Tifa with masumane, luckily he came to his senses and diverted the thrust.
"What the hell was that for!!!" Tifa shouted,her near death experience had put her in a fairly bad mood, "I was just trying to speak to you, there's no reason to go all psycho on me!"
"Maybe if you hadn't screamed in my ear I wouldn't have been startled into lunging at you." Sephiroth replied coldly.
"Ya well..." Tifa seethed. He was right, but he did almost kill her. "Just be more careful next time."
"As you wish..." The potential deadly situation was broken up when Yuffie bounded over and demanded to know what was for dinner.
"Wadda you mean whatever I can catch?!" she shouted almost hysterically.
"I mean we have nothing more then what we have on and our weapons," Sephiroth explained calmly, "So unless you've got a dinner summon we eat whatever we can catch." And with that he got up and strode out of camp, leaving Tifa to deal with the hungry klepto.
He wandered a bit before running into some fiends. After killing them Sephiroth decided it was time he got a new trench coat so he picked up the corpse of a dual horn and started towards camp.
Back at camp Valentine had dragged in and roasted the remains land worm. Being an ex-Turk/demon he didn't have any problems eating the thing, Tifa and Yuffie were of a different opinion however.
"You can't really expect me to eat this can you?" Yuffie demanded angrily.
"That or starve." was the only response Vincent gave. Yuffie tried to argue with him, but gave up after several minutes of Vince ignore her and resigned to pouting. Tifa tried the worm but couldn't keep it down. She spent the next several minutes vomiting out the contents of her stomach, it was around this time that Sephiroth returned carrying the dead cow on his shoulder much to Yuffie's delight.
"Ya!" she shouted, "Sephy found some beef!We can make hamburgers!"
"You've got dinner to night," Sephiroth said motioning to the dead worm, "I have plans for this."
"Plans?What could be more important then food?" Yuffie almost screamed, she wasn't about to let Sephiroth eat the thing on his own.
"We're going to eat it," he replied, "just not today." He set the bull down then chopped down a few palms with Masumane, and set about making drying racks from the logs.
"Wadda you mean 'not today'?" Yuffie demanded, "I'm hungry now!!!"
"He's making jerky out of it."Vincent said,not looking up from his meal, "so settle in we'll be here a few days more." Yuffie sat down by the fire and started muttering something about starvation. Vincent smiled she looked so adorable... the smile slide from his face as he came to a horrible realization, they were stuck here for two or three days with Yuffie and there was no tv or anything else to distract her. Two hours after waking she'd probably have them all wanting to tear their ears off to shut out her voice.He might be able to escape by going hunting, but he was afraid of what Sephiroth might do if Yuffie aggravated him enough, he'd talked to the Turks a lot before the war the ex-general's punishments were still famous even after his death.
Tifa finally finished emptying her stomach and returned to the fire. After having almost the exact same conversation as Yuffie over the dual horn's carcass she decided that she'd help Seph stretch out the skin and hang up the meat.When they were done Sephiroth spitted the organs and the head, then roasted em.
"I thought we weren't going to eat it tonight," Tifa said as she popped an eyeball into her mouth.Yuffie was eating the muscle off the head and Seph was eating the heart cause he's weird like that.
"Well I couldn't let you starve could i?" he said with a soft chuckle. The rest of dinner passed in silence; afterwards the group decided to retire, unfortunately no one but Vince was dressed for the desert's cold nights. Yuffie curled up in a ball near the fire and Vince draped his cloak over her, he then leaned against a boulder and went into his trance like sleep. Seph and Tifa weren't so lucky, with Seph in just his pants and Tifa in a tank top and a skirt, the had to huddle together for warmth.
"I knew you'd warm up to me sooner or later,"Tifa whispered sarcastically.
"This never leaves the oasis," Sephiroth hissed half-heartedly but Tifa was already asleep and he really didn't care all that much.
The next morning the group awoke to Sephiroth cooking steak and eggs.
"Yum eggs!" Yuffie exclaimed, "Where'd you find em Sephy?"
"I'm going to ask you nicely, please do not refer to me by that name again."
"What's wrong with calling you Sephy,Sephy?"
"It's a horrible butchery of my name."
"Oh but it suites you so well..."About this time Tifa walked over.
"Whats for breakfast Sephy?" Sephiroth shot her a death glare and stalked away to practice with his sword.
"Geez what's eating him?"
"His pet name."
"He'll get over it eventually."
Author's Note:Finished,not as long as i hoped it'd be but it'll have to do .I apologize to anyone thats angered about me writing a yuffintineside story,