Disclaimer: Blahblahblah JKR owns all. I don't own crap.

And BTW - the editor sucks donkey balls. :P

Chapter 4

Harry and Neville spent the next few hours cleaning their respective cells. Harry discovered really quickly that his new chopstick...um...wand gave him a huge boost in power, as shown when, while casting scurgeify on a wall, there was a perfectly round hole where the spot he was trying to clean used to be. It took him a few tries to sort out the power levels, but after a few minutes he was wielding his new wand like he was born with it in his hand.

Neville was unfortunately not doing as good with his. Nev had always had wand issues. His father's wand had fit him like a glove on a moose. The reason everybody thought he was so worthless with spells his first few years was that it took him a lot more effort to get ANYTHING to happen. Once that was broken, and he was able to get his own wand, Ollivander didn't take that into account, and since every wand that WOULD have worked good with him exhibited too much power output, Ollivander paired him with a wand that acted like a nullifier. It staggers the mind thinking about the amount of power it took for Nev to cast the anti-dementor spell he did. But now, with a wand that is appropriately tuned to him, he couldn't help but overpower every spell he did. After about 30 minutes of trial and explosion, he realized that if he whispered the spells and used the smallest possible wand movements that he could gain some measure of control over his chopstick...um...wand.

Once Neville figured that out, he made quick work of cleaning and redecorating his cell. The end result was reminiscent of the Gryffindor common room, with red and gold drapes hanging from the canopy of his 4-poster bed, deep mahogany furniture, all in all when he surveyed the room it had a very proper English look to it. After a quick peek into the loo (which now has a vague resemblance to the prefect's bathroom, complete with an 8 foot wide tub) Neville headed over to Harry's cell. Where there was a hole between the two rooms there was now a nice large archway with a set of double curtains. When he entered Harry's cell...

"Bloody hell Harry! You should have told me if you were having problems with your transfigurations!" Neville exclaimed, pulling out his chopstick.

"What are you on about, you big prat? This is the height of sophistication right here." Harry replied, surveying the polka-dotted walls, the shag carpet, the round bed with the fringed fur bedspread, the mini-bar, and the little pedestal, complete with pole in the middle of the room. "This is one swinging room baby! Soon as I get some lava lamps and a disco ball, we'll be groovy!".

Neville took a deep breath, supressing the urge to hex his best friend of the past few years, before he heard Harry start to laugh.

"Nev, that was the funniest look I've ever seen. Did you really think I'd go for a shag shack like this?" Harry waved his chopstick...er...wand, and the room changed to look nearly identical to Neville's. "I was trying out the illusion spells I'm going to use in case the guards come in. Basically, they're a one-way illusion. If you come in from that door, you'll see the cell as it originally was. If you're already in the room when the spell is triggered, you'll see the illusion, but it's like an overlay over reality. Kinda confusing the first time you see it, but effective."

Neville blinked. "That's a wicked complicated piece of magic, Harry, where'd you come up with that?"

Harry grinned. "Do you remember the time we met Celestina Warbeck?"

Neville nodded, waving at his surroundings vaguely. "Yea, that was the night before...well, before this."

"Well, perhaps you noticed that I slipped off for a bit. See, I took advantage of the fact that I was rather well known to get myself backstage. Just on the off chance that I could tell her how much I appreciated her music. Well, I bumped into her, and one thing led to another, and she was giving me a 'private performance', if you know what I mean..."

Neville fell off the couch he was sitting on, he was laughing so hard. "You...and Celestina Warbeck..."

Harry's grin just got bigger as he recalled the story. "Yea. So anyway, somebody came walking into her dressing room, and everything got fuzzy for a second. I mean fuzzier than usual, since I was already not wearing my glasses...anyway, after we finished, she showed me that spell. It's a combination of a notice-me-not spell, an illusion spell, and a repulsion spell, makes the person that has walked into the room see what they expect to, and for them to look elsewhere for whatever they're looking for."

Neville thought through it a second. "Cool. You'll have to teach me that. One question tho. Isn't Ms. Warbeck like 90 years old?"

Harry looked up at the ceiling, which he had enchanted to look like stars. "You couldn't prove it by me, Nev. Just trust me on that."

A couple hours later, and the two wizards were preparing themselves to go out into the world.

Neville looked at Harry's hair and asked "Do you want to leave the dreadlocks, or should I trim it back for you?"

Harry's eyes got huge "Nev, you know I love you like a brother and all, but not in that way. Besides, we're about to go see women in the first time in five years. Why are you coming onto me like that now?"

Neville chuckled. "Harry, Lavender and Parvati taught me to cut hair while they were teaching me...other things. I'm straighter than my chopstick, I was just offering to help you with that seven pound monstrosity growing out of your head."

Harry started smacking his head into the wall. "Sorry Nev, I'm just a little anxious to get out. Yea, leave me with enough hair to give me a decent pony tail...and while you're at it, explain to me why they'd want you to help cut their hair."

Neville changed the tip of his chopstick...um...wand into a pair of scissors and started cutting. "Well, Harry, there's some hair that some ladies would prefer not to have another woman to help them with..."

Harry almost lost more than his hair when he started laughing at that.

"You know, Harry, I'm not all that great with a broom" Neville said, somewhat hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it, this will be as easy as walking, Nev" Harry replied, probably more confidently than he felt.

Neville just looked dubiously at the contraption that they had cobbled together...

As Harry was cleaning up after his haircut, he had an idea. He took half a dozen hairs, tied them to the end of his extra chopstick, cast an engorgio on the whole thing, and showed it to Neville.

"Take a look here Nev!" Harry said rather excitedly.

"What is that? You making a date?" Neville was a bit confused by Harry's new toy.

"No wanker, it's a broom! Or at least the beginnings of one!" Harry replied, casting spells on his new creation.

"Oh bloody hell. I was hoping we'd take a boat or something".

As they landed on the coast of London, Neville was finally getting the hang of flying, and starting to like it.

Harry, on the other hand, was starting to get nervous. How were they going to get money without being spotted by the Aurors? It wasn't like they could stroll into Gringotts without being noticed, could they?

As they strolled into Gringotts, wearing newly conjured muggle clothes, baseball caps, and sunglasses, the notice-me-not spell that Neville had cast successfully kept them from being noticed. They walked quietly up to an empty counter, and asked to be provided access to Harry's vault. A prick and a drop of blood later, and they strolled out of Gringotts, a big wad of muggle money in each pocket and a big sack of wizarding gold slung over Harry's shoulder.

Harry and Neville made their way out of Diagon Alley and into muggle London. A quick ride on the tube, and they ended up in front of a major department store.

"Remember Nev, don't gawk, and if you have a question, please ask me, not a salesperson. We don't need anybody asking us any awkward questions." Harry said quietly before they entered.

"Got it Harry. So, what are we getting?" Neville asked, excited to be seeing the muggle technology he's been hearing about.

"Whatever we want. Remember not to show too much cash...don't need any problems."

As they walked into the store, the first thing that they noticed is how little muggle women wear when it gets warm outside. Witches tend to keep themselves covered up, regardless of weather, but these muggles...

"Harry, did that woman forget her pants? She's just wearing a belt!" Neville said rather excitedly.

"Um...I think that's actually a skirt, as far as I can tell" Harry replied, trying to keep his tongue inside his mouth.

After a few minutes of unabashed staring, they shook their heads, and headed to their ultimate goal...the electronics department.