A/N: thanks for the reviews guys. It's amazing to me to see some of my favorite writers reviewing my writing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my sanity. And probably not even that.

Chapter 6

Later that evening, Harry and Neville arrived back at their 'pad', as they were now referring to their cells in Azkaban.

"Nev, are you sure there isn't anymore seaweed in my hair?"

"Yes, Harry, I'm sure. Do you want me to cast another cleaning spell on it, just in case?"

"No, I'm sure it's fine. The water was just a little slimy. Ugh" Harry shuddered, thinking about his unscheduled trip into the sea surrounding the island prison.

"Well, you know I DID tell you that it was a bad idea to smoke on your broom. I mean, human hair DOES burn pretty quickly, right?"

"Shut up Nev"

"Hey, at least I saved the chopstick, right?"

"Shut up Nev"

"You have to admit, it was rather funny, I mean, you flicked your cigarette over your shoulder, than poof, no more broom…"

"Shut up already Nev, you're pissing me off"

"I think the best part was when you tried to transfigure that piece of seaweed into a raft, and your teeth were chattering so hard that you turned it into a sea monster. How did you run across the water like that, anyway?"

"Silencio"

Neville was too busy laughing to even notice that he had been silenced.

The next morning, Ginny Weasley screwed up her courage, put on her best (and most conservative) dress, and headed to the Ministry of Magic, prepared to turn herself in and explain what really happened the day He-Who-Still-Must-Not-Be-Named-Even-Though-The-Bloody-Boy-Who-Lived-Lopped-Off-His-Head-With-A-Big-Bloody-Ginsu-Knife-And-Who's-Corpse-Was-Bloody-Incinerated-By-A-Bunch-Of-Bloody-Wizards was killed.

As she waited outside Minister Scrimgeour's door, she heard a bit of a commotion.

"What the bloody hell do you mean I screwed up? No legal precedent? Going to review all of my rulings? And looking at my personal life? I think not. I quit!"

And with that, Rufus Scrimgeour walked out of his former office. Noticing Ginny, he quickly walked over to her, handed her a small sack, and whispered in her ear "I'm sorry, Cinnamon, we're not going to have time for our 'session' today. I'm going on a trip, and don't know when I'll be back. Thanks for coming by though." He then rushed out of the building, never to be seen or heard from again. (Last anybody ever heard of him, he had ended up in the rainforests in Brazil, where he ended up getting swallowed by an Anaconda. And in doing so, justice, in its own way, was served).

In the meantime, a shocked Ginny Weasley looked inside the sack in her hands, to find a large amount of Galleons. She walked away in a daze, wondering to herself 'What just happened? And did he really recognize me?'

Needless to say, the wizarding world was in an uproar. The Daily Prophet ran a special edition: 'Minister quits! Possible scandal!' with special editorials about the links between the minister and certain high-profile cases in the courts, specifically the mishandling of the trials of Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom, as well as his links to prostitution, the manufacture and sale of certain narcotic potions, and his participation in that most vile underground sport known as 'house elf kombat'.

Curiously, the Quibbler, the Daily Prophet's main competitor, didn't mention anything of this on their front page. As a matter of fact, their front page contained nothing but three words.

"TOLD YOU SO"

Oblivious to the happenings of the day, Harry and Neville, after a little repair work (and a fireproofing spell or two) headed out to their flat.

"Neville, we really need to learn how to apparate. This flying thing gets old really quick."

"I thought you knew how already? I mean, my gran taught me when I was 14. Most kids know way before they have to test for it."

"You git. So why are we flying?"

"Um…I thought you liked to fly?"

"That's it, Nev, no naked women for you"

(thirty seconds later)

pop

"Now didn't that make more sense?"

"I guess Harry"

"HEY! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?"

"Stupify" "Stupify"

"Harry?"

"Yea Nev"

"Did we end up in the wrong flat?"

"Looks like it Nev"

"Were these muggles shagging?"

"Looks like it Nev"

"Hadn't we better do something about them? I mean, they're eventually going to get un-stunned, right?"

"Yeah, probably. It looks like we're in the right building, at least. Head to our flat, I'll see what I can do to straighten this out."

Harry brought out his chopstick…er…wand, and muttered to himself under his breath "here goes nothing"

"oblivate"

As Harry ran out of the room, and the muggles were wondering how they stopped in the middle of their fun, a group of wizards from the Muggle Reversal Squad popped into the room, stunned the couple, and waved their wands around the room, trying to detect the rather unfocused magical signatures in the room of a really overpowered spell.

"Hey boss, there's nobody else around, and neither of these people are wizards."

"Well one of them is probably a squib. Sometimes it happens that during periods of extreme stress, they will give off a burst of magic like what we just detected. Just oblivate them and let's get out of here.

A few minutes later, the muggles woke up, dazed and believing that they just had a great time.

Harry walked into the flat laughing. Than his cell phone rang, it was the cable technician calling to tell them that he was downstairs. An hour later, the cable was working, the internet was flying…and Neville was confused.

"Harry, I thought you said we would see naked women on this"

"Nev, didn't you just see a naked woman, in the flesh, like 90 minutes ago?"

"Well yeah, but remember what Seamus's motto always was."

"Um…I never met a whiskey I didn't like?"

"Not that one"

"If it's not Irish it's crap?"

"Not that one either. Remember when he came back from that trip to America? Where he had gone to something called a bunny ranch? He kept repeating it."

"Oh, you mean 'You've seen one woman naked….you want to see the rest of them that way'? Good point, but irrelevant. You have to learn how to use the computer before you can see the naked birds. Now this is your mouse."

"Um Harry, that's not a mouse. They're smaller and fuzzy. That's a little black shiny thing."

Harry sighed. This was going to be a long afternoon.

Hermione Granger-Finnegan read the front page of the Prophet and nearly fainted. Her screaming brought her husband downstairs to see what was going on.

"Hermione, what's the matter?"

Without a word, she handed the paper to Seamus, and started sobbing.

"I as well as put him in there. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't believe what had happened. That's what it is. I was in shock."

"Hermione, what the hell are you talking about? You didn't have anything to do with this! The minister was corrupt, that's all this says…"

"Honey, it's more than that. You did see the part about Harry and Neville in there, right?"

"Yea, those bastards. I can't believe that there's a doubt about their guilt after all this time. They as well as admitted their crimes."

"See honey, that's the problem. Let me tell you what really happened that day, and the day of the trial."

Twenty minutes later, Seamus was sick to his stomach.

"So you're telling me that you hid the fact that Harry had killed a Death Eater and testified that Neville had told you that he was going to wait until after Umbridge was kissed to cast that spell, just because Scrimgeour had offered you Percy's job if you did?

"The minister knew what had happened. I told him everything. But they were just too much of a risk to the administration. Something had to be done."

"I don't believe it. Too much of a risk? Hermione, you threw your best friend's life into hell because somebody told you to? What the hell else did you do because that man told you to?"

Hermione mumbled something under her breath.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Very softly, Hermione said "I left Ron and seduced you. I needed a husband, and you were a safe option."

"Merlin. Tell me this is a joke. Tell me this is a sick twisted April Fool's joke."

"I'm sorry Seamus. I really am."

"Did you at least love me? Or was our whole marriage an act?"

"I….I…."

"That's all I needed to hear. Get out. Take your stuff, and get out of my house. For once, Malfoy was right. You are nothing but a filthy mudblood whore."

"But Seamus, I've grown to care about you" Hermione cried to him. "You're a wonderful man, and"

"Shut it. I've heard enough. You'll hear from my solicitors. Now get out."

As she walked out of the house, possessions shrunk and in her pockets, Seamus sat down and wept for what should have been….and what was to come. He started figuring out who he needed to contact to make people aware of what had really happened.

Lavender Brown walked into her kitchen, where Ron Weasley was nursing a cup of coffee.

"Ronald, we need to talk about what happened last night."

"If this is about your dad's shoes, I told him I'll replace them."

"No, this is about later. That wasn't the first time you've called me by HER name. What is it? Am I just a replacement after she dropped you to marry Seamus? Are you trying to get back at her? Dammit Ron, We're engaged to be married, and you've never even told me that you loved me. So what is it?"

"I….I…"

"That's what I thought. This is the last straw, mister! Get gone with you! I don't ever want to see you again!"

As he trudged out of their house, heading over to see his parents, Ron was starting to think that he had picked up some bad karma somewhere. But he, of course, had no idea why.

A couple of hours later, Neville was surfing the web like a pro. And of course, he'd found what he was looking for. He looked up as Harry walked back into the flat with some bags from the local hardware store.

"Harry, you've got to see this! I don't believe she can bend that way without removing her bones!"

"Yes, Nev. I know. Do you think you can put that down for a minute and help out here? I think I've figured out how to make it so that they'll work in the pad, but I need help with all the spells. "

Reluctantly, Neville put down his mouse (the one connected to the computer, you pervs) and came over to assist.

"From what I can tell, the problem is that most electronics work on AC, or alternating current. Most wards that are put up disrupt this coming from sources outside the wards. Things like Dean's CD player worked inside Hogwarts because it was powered by batteries, and those work on DC, or direct current power. What we need to do is figure out an easy way to produce DC power in such a way that it's providing AC power to our appliances. I think I've figured it out, using something called a generator. "

And out he pulls a 10kVA gas-powered generator. Once it was unshrunken and unpacked…

"I've already spelled it so that the gas and oil are never-ending and self cleaning. It will stay cool, and I put a permanent evanesco spell on the exhaust. So don't get your bits near it. Ready to give this a try?"

And with that Harry hit the button to turn it on. And promptly cut it off, before casting a silencio to counteract the foul noise emanating from it. A little more testing, and they've discovered that even with wards around it, it works just fine.

"That's enough for today Nev. Let's head back. And this time, let's do it WITHOUT the oops?"