A/N: Yea I suck. I know. Trying to have a real life gets in the way of my writing…I'll do what I can to get the next few chapters out as soon as I can.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, I would be a. female, b. rich, c. British, and d. a parent. I am none of those. Therefore…

And I don't own City of Heroes, or anything else for that matter.

Chapter 8

"Harry, is it time to go yet?"

"Bloody hell Neville, I already told you. The portkey goes off at 4pm. It's only 10:30 in the morning. Will you bugger off already?"

"I meant to ask, how did you get them to send you the portkey?"

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Harry was pondering a question as he dialed his mobile.

"How did Neville ever get into Gryffindor? He's such a wimp when it comes to anything having to do with women."

The phone answered.

"Magical Charms. This is Candy."

"Hi Candy. My name is John, and a friend of mine and I are interested in visiting your establishment. Do you require reservations?"

"They are recommended. When would you like to schedule them for?"

"The soonest possible date. We're rather anxious to, shall we say sample your wares?"

"No problem sir, we have an opening to accommodate two people at 4 pm tomorrow. What package are you interested in? We have many different levels of service depending on the amount you're willing to spend."

"Money, my dear lady, is not a problem."

"In that case, how would you be paying?"

"I have a debit card with an unlimited limit. I would prefer to use that if possible"

"Does it have a major credit card logo on it?"

"Let me look. Bank of Gringotts logo…"

"Gringotts? Should have said so earlier sir. I believed you to be a muggle."

Harry was flummoxed for a moment. When they said magic they meant MAGIC?

"Sir? Are you still there?"

"Sorry about that. My mobile was cutting out for a second there. This is my first time calling, I'm a bit nervous here."

"No problem sir. Bear in mind that we provide full confidentiality to all our clients. As such, for a nominal fee we can provide a portkey that will allow you direct entrance through our wards right into our receiving room. We can also provide a charm that will obscure your features so that even the girl that is servicing you never knows who she's dealing with. We find this to be a valuable service to some of our more prolific clients."

"That sounds perfect. I'd like to get that for two. How do we arrange that?"

"To avoid you from having to provide us with your name, you would just need to send us an owl with a letter including your card number. There's a 25 galleon fee per person for this service, once we receive the letter, we charge you for the portkey and charms and send them back with your owl."

Harry got the rest of the info from Candy, and hung up the phone. He then began to pace.

"How the hell am I going to manage this? Merlin, I wish I knew what happened to Hedwig."

At that, there was a tap at the window of the flat.

"HEDWIG!"

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"So anyway, I'm not sure how, but Hedwig came back, took the letter, bit the CRAP out of my ear, and came back a half hour later with two necklaces. Supposedly, once we put these on, our faces will be fuzzy and the girls will not be able to figure out who we are. Now calm down and give me a hand here. I'm trying to figure out a couple things. First off, where the hell has Hedwig been? Second off, I'm trying to figure out a way to get a southeastern exposure on our satellite dish so we can get a signal in the cell. And thirdly, why am I so bad when it comes to apparating?"

"Well the first question is easy. Post owls always try to stay close to their masters, so they can deliver a letter whenever necessary. More than likely she couldn't find you while you were in Azkaban, so once she COULD find you she stayed close to your last residence in case you needed her. Once you asked where she was, she interpreted that as you needing her, and Bob's your uncle. Probably why your ear's all swollen, too. That owl has always been a little possessive when it comes to you. I remember back right after you and Ho Chang split up…"

"You mean Cho Chang"

"I said what I meant. By her seventh year she had worked through most the upperclassmen and was giving 'release massages' under the bleachers at the Quidditch field to second and third years for extra spending money. Anyway, once you and her split, Hedwig here took it upon herself to exact a bit of revenge. Anytime Cho walked out of the castle, this little birdie would give her a little 'present'. You never wondered why she was always wearing her hood up when she was outside?"

"Not really. Hedwig? You did that?" And with that Harry gave his owl a bit of a hug and another owl treat.

"Now for your other questions, let's talk about apparating. More than likely the problem is one of focus. You need to see yourself at the place. Not just seeing the place, but you need to see yourself there. And I don't mean you looking around at it. You need to see yourself there. Imagine City of Heroes. You remember, that game I was playing when my wrist got tired?"

"Dammit Nev, I didn't need to know that."

"Whatever. Remember how you were basically looking over the character's shoulder the entire time? Well you need to do that with yourself. And that's how you do it."

"Let me get this straight. I was buggering it all up because I was trying to imagine where I was LOOKING instead of where I was trying to be? Dammit to hell."

"That's pretty well it, mate. Now for the satellite question, I'll ask around online. I have no clue there. "

"Well, that's a start."

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Ron Weasley was having a bad morning. Again.

He and Hermione had stayed at the pub until the wee hours of the night, reveling in each other's companionship in a way that only truly close friends ever can. Finally, one thing led to the next, and the two of them ended up in Hermione's hotel room. There was some frantic shedding of clothing, followed by…

"I'm sorry, Hermi, I really am. I must have really had too much to drink. That's never happened to me before."

"Oh Ron…"

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As 4pm came around, Harry was becoming more and more anxious. But not for the reasons you would think.

"Neville, are we sure that this is a good idea? I mean, going to a magical place? We ARE the most widely known 'villains' of modern times, after all, right?"

"But didn't she say that the charms that they sent us would obscure our features to the point that nobody could tell who we are?"

"Yea, they did. I guess I'm just a bit nervous. All of our plans have worked pretty well, for me that usually means when it goes tits-up that it will more spectacularly than usual."

"Just keep your chopstick…er wand with you and nothing can happen."

"Good point. Ok, let's do this."

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4pm came, and with that Harry and Neville left. The portkey was a little more disorientating than Harry was used to, although it could have been just that it's been more than five years since he's used one, but they walked into what could have been the reception area for any respectable doctor or dentist.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. My name is Candy. Do you have an appointment?

"Hi Candy, we spoke on the phone. My name's John Thomas, this is Bob Thatcher, we have a 4pm appointment today. "

"Great, if you'll follow me, we can get started."

Harry and Neville followed her into a large room, where there were around 20 different women lounging around.

"Ladies, this is John Thomas and Bob Thatcher" Candy said, seemingly oblivious to why the girls (and Neville) were all snickering. "It's their first time here, and we want to impress them. Please line up on the stage and show them what we've got."

The girls lined up on the stage, and as they started posing a bit, Harry started cataloguing the girls. He noticed some people he knew, Alicia Spinnet, Daphne Greengrass, the Patil twins, and….

"Ginny?"

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a/n: So why are the girls laughing? ;-)