The Last Laugh
Chapter Two: Coffee Tables are the Root Source of all Evil
By: Stardust
A/N: This is the second re-written chapter. I'm really trying to make these characters grow up a bit but I'm having a difficult time working with the original writing. I'm working at it though!
"Mum, would you just chill out?" Lily shouted. Her face was red with frustration. She was beyond reasoning and she was done arguing. At this point she was throwing things at random into her trunk, sometimes with her wand and sometimes with her hand.
"Don't take that tone with me," Her mother replied, her own face coloring in frustration. "You are not going to move in with James Potter!"
"Watch me!" Lily challenged, hurling a pair of tennis shoes across the room. She pointed her wand at a picture frame and it blasted off the wall with a little too much force. The paint peeled off and left a trail along the carpet.
"Lily," Mrs. Evans said, starting to take clothes out of the trunk and place them on her bed. "This is ridiculous—"
"No, Mum," Lily interjected, snatching back her clothes and throwing them heatedly into the trunk. "What is ridiculous is you trying to control me. I am eighteen years old and I love James Potter. Just deal with it."
"That's exactly what I'm trying to say," Her mother pleaded. "You're only eighteen. Just think about what you are doing for a minute. Why would you want to start this now? Lily—Look at me."
"I'm going," Lily said, her green eyes blazing. "You and Dad are not going to stop me." She slammed the lid on her trunk and lifted her wand toward her mother. She put on hand on her hip and raised her eye brow, challengingly.
Mrs. Evans' jaw clenched and she folded her arms defiantly. She wasn't going to let Lily go without a fight. With an annoyed sigh Lily disapparated with a crack and reappeared on the other side of her mother.
"Accio trunk," Lily said, and her poor mother had no choice but to jump out of the way as the huge trunk zoomed toward Lily and the doorway. "Mum, I'm sorry things have to be this way but I've made up my mind."
Lily burst out of the front door amid shouts of protest from her mother but she didn't care. She was getting out of the place. She was going to start her own life.
A life with James.
James pulled up in his broomstick and they hastily tied her trunk into his harness. Lily climbed on behind him and as he kicked off from the ground Lily's mother spilled out onto the lawn still shouting things.
"If I had known we were going to make such a departure I would have borrowed Sirius' motorcycle," James said to Lily. "It would have had a better effect." Lily laughed but gave him a pinch in the side.
"Behave."
The summer was one of the happiest times Lily could ever remember. She was constantly pestered by letters from her mother—which she constantly ignored—but otherwise she was living a comfortable life with James.
They had both taken jobs at the Ministry, though James would soon go to school to become an auror. Once his training was completed he would start to go on assignment. Lily had agreed to work on a temporary basis. She was serving mostly as a glorified secretary in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, but she enjoyed her work for the most part.
As September loomed ever closer Lily and James grew ever closer. They clung to each other more often, unconsciously, as the day when James would leave for school drew near. Then Lily would be all alone in the Potter house.
Well—mostly. Sirius was often a guest of theirs as were a great deal of their friends from Hogwarts. Sirius, in contrast to the others, was practically a resident. It was difficult to know his schedule though. Sometimes he'd crash for a night and other times he'd hang around for a month.
The house seemed strange to Lily when James left it. After three months she still wasn't quite feeling at home with the Potter's belongings surrounding her constantly. Nights without James were sometimes hard. Lily hadn't realized how much she was used to him being close. With him gone she felt like she had no one to talk to. She even started to respond to her mother's letters.
But she wasn't totally depressed. In his absence she started to decorate the place with her own personal touches. And she became more interested in her writing. Her ultimate dream was to write a book based on her own experiences. She wanted to write about coming from an all muggle background into the wizarding world. She knew that writing her book would be dangerous—especially now that the Dark Lord and his followers were targeting muggles and muggle-born wizards--but that just fueled her desire to write.
By mid-September she had quit her job at the Ministry and stayed home to write full time. She didn't need to work anyway. Her and James lived pretty modestly in a paid for house. Plus, they had a handsome inheritance from the Potters.
"LILY!" James called as he came through the front door. "Lily, it's me, I'm back!" James had come back from Auror Training School for a short Halloween break.
Sirius stepped out into the living room from the kitchen. "You just missed her," He explained with an apologetic shrug. "She went to Diagon Alley to get supplies for dinner. I don't think she expected you this early." Sirius smiled and continued to speak easily as if he had seen James everyday for the past two months. "How's school?"
"It's fine, I guess. I just can't wait for school to be over with though, you know?" James asked, setting down his bag and shoving his broomstick in the closet.
"This is why I chose not to go to anymore school after I graduated from Hogwarts," Sirius said as he leaned against the wall. "Lily's going to go nuts when she sees you!" He continued changing the subject. His eyes gleamed mischievously and James cheeks turned slightly pink. "She's been running around the house cleaning, and decorating, and looking for recipes and saying things like 'Do you think James will like this?'… I think she's lonely without you, Prongs."
James cleared his throat and shifted his gaze around the room. "So," He said, dragging out the word. He was, for some reason, a little uncomfortable with the conversation. "What's up with you?" James asked Sirius, grinning as he changed the subject. Sirius just rolled his eyes.
"Life is good," He replied, running a hand through his dark hair. "Tonight I am leaving the two of you alone," Sirius grinned and winked before continuing. "I am taking Lexie out to dinner and dancing!" Sirius did a little dance move and nearly sent James to the floor laughing. "Can't you see me as a salsa dancer? Or how about a tango?"
"Lexie?" James asked, finally gathering enough breath to respond. "What happened to Heather?"
"Heather? That was so two months ago! Come on, get with the program, James. Chop, chop!"
James laughed again. Sirius hadn't changed one bit since school got out—he was always chasing the girls. Abruptly, James sobered and he narrowed his eyes as he glanced toward the kitchen. "How long ago did Lily leave?" He questioned.
"I dunno," Sirius shrugged, glancing at a clock above the fireplace. "20 minutes ago..."
"Good, she'll shop forever," James said.
"I'm sure she'll appreciate that remark," Sirius replied but sat down opposite James. It was obvious James wanted to talk about something. "What's up?" Sirius asked.
James stared for a long into Sirius' eyes. Then, slowly he started to smile. He was wearing the same look he often had right before he unveiled a plot to do something illegal. His eyes shown with excitement and his breath seemed to catch just a bit. Sirius leaned forward expectantly as James pulled out his wand and muttered something under his breath. From thin air, James produced two small black boxes.
Sirius watched intently as James opened both boxes and set them on the coffee table. Two beautiful glimmering rings sat gently in their velvet boxes. They seemed to wink up at him. Sirius slowly felt the shock seep into his body. He knew what those rings meant.
Sirius gasped and brought his hand to his mouth, biting his knuckles to keep from exclaiming something. "Oh hell," Sirius finally said, quietly, as he grinned. "James Potter is proposing. I NEVER thought I'd see the day!" As an afterthought Sirius added "James, if you're asking me, Lily is really going to be pissed."
James started to answer but he couldn't help himself from laughing. "Can you ever be serious?"
"I can be Sirius Black, but not serious, never. One question though: does she really need TWO rings? You aren't that afraid she'll turn you down, are you Potter?" Sirius teased.
"No. She'll say yes," James replied evenly. His jaw clenched and his gaze was distant. He rather looked like he wanted to add an "I hope" onto the end of that statement.
"Awful confident of yourself, Potter," Sirius remarked with a smirk.
"Are you kidding? I'm scared as hell!" But he quickly changed the subject. "Now, help me decide which ring."
"ME!" Sirius exclaimed leaping backward as if the rings were about to attack. "What were those words you said..." He asked, tapping a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "Oh yes, 'Sirius, you are a horrible judge of things of beauty.' Isn't that what you said with one of my girlfriends, what was her name...?"
"Sirius, you were going out with her just because of her chest. Her face was horrid," James reasoned. "And you're totally taking the statement out of context."
"Well, I wasn't doing much looking at her face!"
"Right, whatever," James said, studying the glimmering diamonds. For the moment he had a one-track mind. One ring was a sparkling crystal lily on a gold band. The other was just a plain diamond wedding band, but beautiful and special nonetheless.
"See, the lily, for obvious reasons, might have some sentimental value. However, it's not really traditional like…say, this one," He continued, pointing to the other ring. "She might think it's a little cheesy or she might not like the idea at all. I mean, just because it's her name doesn't mean she has to have lily everything!"
"Well, that makes sense. But, James I am not going to decide for you. This is your decision," Sirius said, taking another step backward. He was envisioning Lily not approving of the choice of ring and James blaming everything on him!
"I've narrowed it down to two now just help me," James pleaded.
"James, this is your future! Not mine." Sirius folded his arms as if to say he was done. "James, just a hint," He said, "Anything from you that is attached to the question 'will you marry me' will totally melt her insides and she'll love and cherish it forever."
"Stop it," James warned. Sirius grinned cheekily in response. James gave the rings one last look. Reluctantly, James carefully put the rings away and then changed the subject.
"So, how are Remus and Peter? Seen them lately?"
"Peter and I had an interesting lunch a few days ago…" Sirius said thoughtfully.
"What happened?" James asked, knowing there was going to be a story.
"Let's just say it started with a little soup and salad and ended with a little green hair on the part of the muggle ambassador to Brazil and yours truly running like hell."
"You didn't get caught?" James asked, his eyes still wide with surprise at the restaurant escapade.
"No, we didn't get caught. It was an accident after all," Sirius said innocently. "But Remus," Sirius said getting serious. "I haven't heard from him since the party in Three Broomsticks a couple months ago. Neither has Peter or Lily and I don't think you have. But I've heard a few things…" A dark shadow passed over Sirius' face and James felt the hairs on his arm stand up.
"Moony, our old friend we're talking about? You don't really think..." James trailed off because he wasn't exactly sure what Sirius was trying to suggest. James' imagination was doing a lot of guessing though and James stomach starting doing flips.
"Listen James, who knows what to believe anymore. The rumors are crazy nowadays. But, he's poor and he's not respected anywhere and the types of people he might turn to…I mean, he obviously hasn't turned to us… I'm sure you've heard the stories about the Dark Lord and his Dark armies--" Just as the conversation was really taking a turn for the worse they abruptly fell silent. Noises from the kitchen had cut them short.
"Hey Sirius!" Lily yelled in the general direction of the living room. "Come help me put this stuff away!" James grinned at the way Lily bossed him around. Not that he was under any delusions—he knew full well that she bossed him around too.
"And there's the darling Lily herself," Sirius whispered, smiled, and walked into the kitchen. James followed but stayed in the doorway leaning against the frame and watching Lily with a glint in his eyes that shone only for her.
"Sirius, be a doll and put that on the top shelf for me," Lily said handing Sirius a very peculiar smelling bottle. "And, find a place for this," Lily continued handing Sirius an entire bag of groceries. "And would you be so kind as to do the dishes? I need to put some stuff away upstairs and get cleaned up."
"What do I look like? Your maid?" Sirius asked hoisting himself up onto the countertop and swinging his legs carelessly. The bag of groceries sat untouched beside him.
Lily gave him a stern look. A yes-you-look-like-a-maid-and-will-be-one-if-you-want-to-stay-here look. Sirius mumbled something that sounded strangely like McGonagall and slipped off the counter. He promptly started doing the dishes.
"I'll just be a min-…ute," Lily said, then silence.
That would be Lily noticing James for the first time. Sirius thought, as he quietly kept to the dishes. And the extended silence would be them kissing, behind my back. Sirius made a face at the sudden mental images this conjured up and started to scrub with a vengeance. It's not that he blamed them—two months was a long time…
"You're home," Lily breathed as she pulled away from James to look into his face and study his expression. It had been so long since she'd seen the life in those eyes.
"No, I was eaten by a flobberworm at school; this is just a ghost of me here," He said sarcastically. Yeah, I'm home!" Lily smiled and threw her arms around him and he responded accordingly.
"I missed you James. You were gone too long." Lily said, with a slight pout, as if James could have done something about his absence.
Sirius mouthed 'I missed you too' just as James said it. There was, of course, silence again and Sirius sneezed in a violently fake manner in which he splashed himself and half the kitchen and Lily and James were forced to stop kissing and admit that they weren't alone.
Then Lily frowned, and placed one hand on his chest, and gave him a slight push. "James Potter!" She said sternly. "You're home early!" James raised an eyebrow. He looked slightly amused. "I'm not ready for you yet!" She declared, crossing her arms and stomping her foot. She then wore her best pouty-3-year-old look.
Sirius had deemed it safe to turn around now and James caught his eye.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to get out of the house then, no point staying in here, where it's not 'ready'." Sirius came to stand beside James and they both looked down at Lily, who was starting to feel as if she were among giants.
The boys exchanged winks. Lily took a step backward.
"I don't like the looks of this," But she barely had time to say that, because before she knew what was happening, the boys bent over and carried her out into the backyard, upside-down and screaming, I might mention.
"Put Me Down! James! SIRIUS! PUT ME DOWN NOW! STOP!" James and Sirius were cackling like maniacs as they went stomping through the grounds behind the Potter house. When they finally stopped and put Lily down she was hoarse and red in the face and the boys were breathless.
They were deep in the backyard. The house had acres and acres of land stretching behind it and their neighbors. It was beautiful countryside. Night had fallen and Lily realized they were standing near a large pond.
Sirius conjured up a swing that hung from a tree branch near the water and some candles to float in midair. It was very romantic, something you wouldn't expect Sirius to do. He looked at James, rolled his eyes, and sat down near the edge of the water.
Lily and James sat down in the swing together. "It's much nicer outdoors, under the stars," James said gently rocking the two of them.
"I quite agree," Sirius added. "There are no dishes out here." Lily shook her head and smiled.
"I've been hard on him with you gone," Lily said to James. "With two of you I equally distribute the work…"
"You're lucky you're cute," James replied. "Otherwise we wouldn't keep you around." He grinned and kissed her on the forehead. Lily laid her head against James shoulder and let out a contented sigh.
In the gathering dusk Lily and James watched Sirius' back closely. He was doing something with his wand, but, the way he was sitting they couldn't tell what it was he was doing. Then, quite suddenly, he turned around, as if to say something and Lily and James were almost immediately soaking wet.
Sirius doubled up with laughter on the ground as he watched his friends jump up and try to brush the water from them.
James and Lily wasted no time in getting revenge, though. In no time they had their wands out and were levitating Sirius out above the water. Sirius barely had time to shout "OH SHIT!" Before Lily and James let him drop.
SPLASH!
Lily and James laughed and exchanged high five's and a quick kiss.
Sirius was laughing as he walked up to shore to stand near Lily and James who were still laughing at his dripping wet state.
"I have to hand it to you, that was a good one. But so is this," He said, flicking his wand before they could react. Sirius had formed a cloud over top of them that was now pouring like a monsoon. With a shout they sprang apart and tried to out-maneuver the cloud. "You ought to know by now," Sirius shouted over their exclamations. "I always have the last laugh." Still, he waved his hand and the cloud disappeared as instantly as it had appeared.
"Well, I'm outta here! No time to chat," Sirius said as he quickly used a drying spell on himself before disapparating.
Lily sighed and leaned against James. "I'm glad Sirius is our friend. There is never a dull moment, but we need to get him back for that one. He's right; we always let him have the last laugh."
"How about," James said, putting his arm around her shoulders and pulling him to her. "We go to dinner in Hogsmeade village. We can talk about it there. And you won't have to worry about cooking and cleaning."
"I want to cook for you. I want this to be my treat," Lily insisted.
"And I want to treat my girl to dinner. I will not have my Lily slaving in the kitchen for me."
"That's sweet, but-" James pulled tighter and they came closer together.
"You can cook for Sirius anytime, let me take you out," He said, his voice lowering slightly.
"I don't want to cook for SIRIUS!" Lily shouted, rolling her eyes. "Don't you like my cooking?"
"Lily, I'd eat anything. You know that. Believe me; it's not about the food." He have her a kiss and a lopsided smile.
"So… you want to take me out?" Lily asked, giggling.
"Why not? All of the sudden just because we live together I'm not allowed to take you out?"
"No, it means BECAUSE we live together you can't drop me off after a bad date, so it better be good."
"Oh, I don't know," James said looking doubtful. "I guess I'll have to chance it. Come on," He said, and they disapparated.
Late that night Lily and James found themselves wandering along the streets of Hogsmeade after all had been closed and people with any sense had gone to sleep.
"Tonight was fun, James," Lily said, her eyes dancing. It was dark and no lights shown in the village. They could barely see each other's faces. "You know James..." Lily said thoughtfully. "That is like the first real date you've ever taken me on."
"Yeah, that's true." James agreed. "We didn't get out of the castle much for that sort of thing." He grinned, remembering the first time they had kissed in the rain, on a muddy Quidditch pitch. He gave her hand a little squeeze.
"James?" Lily asked.
"Hmm?"
"I thought we could come here tomorrow for the Halloween party. Maybe we'll see some old friends."
"Yeah sure..." James replied, distantly—something else had caught his attention. He was looking intently into the darkness and Lily had felt his muscles tighten.
"James? What is it?" Lily asked him, fighting to keep her voice steady.
"Shh! I should have known better than to walk around in the dark at times like this," He whispered in hurried tones back to her. They both took out their wands and moved quietly forward. They stopped and stood very still when they could hear the voices.
"No, now is just a warning. Just a taste—to get them worried," A deep voice intoned in a muted voice.
"Ah…To create some trouble," A second, slightly higher-pitched voice, added.
"That's the spirit!" The first voice replied.
The sound of retreating footsteps could be heard suddenly. James made a move to follow them but Lily stopped him. She put a hand on his shoulder and shook her head. Then, they disapparated.
The two of them materialized on the doorstep to their house in Godric's Hollow. They exchanged a quick glance and then charged forward into their house. Inside, they lit a light, much to the surprise of Sirius Black who HAD been sleeping comfortably on the couch.
They took little notice of Sirius, however. They were used to him showing up at all hours of the night and day. Apparently his dance experimentation hadn't gone quite as he would have hoped otherwise he wouldn't be back at the Potter's.
"Who was that?" Lily asked James as he went over to the fire.
"I don't know. Voices sounded familiar though, didn't they?" He said shortly throwing floo powder on the warm fire. "Albus Dumbledore," James intoned, giving Lily a distracted look.
A moment later the fire briefly turned blue before a sleepy looking head appeared.
"Ah, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Lily too. I should have known it would be you three to wake me up at 3:00 AM." Lily blushed but James took no notice. He explained about the voices in Hogsmeade and soon Dumbledore had gone to investigate, telling them to wait.
"It was stupid of us to be walking around the village at night, alone." Lily said and James agreed. Sirius refrained from making a crack about the time and instead asked a question:
"The voices sounded familiar?"
"Yeah," James said. "I know I have heard those voices before." Lily nodded in agreement.
"Was it Lupin?" He finally asked, dreading the answer. Lily gasped and James glanced at him sideways.
"But, he's our friend!" She said horrified.
"Lily, he hasn't been seen. He's a werewolf and you... you just can't trust people today like you used to." Lily opened her mouth to protest but she couldn't find anything to say. She just couldn't believe it. She looked to James but he simply shrugged. Lily bit her lip. She felt like crying.
James strained to remember the voices. "I don't know...don't you think I'd know his voice?" Sirius shrugged.
"I have a feeling some very dark times are upon us. Worse than what has happened already," Lily looked very worried. James sensed her uneasiness and moved closer too her. He massaged her shoulders lightly. "It's going to be OK." He gave Sirius a stern look. Sirius returned the look with an angry gaze. God forbid he do anything that might upset the delicate Lily!
After several silent minutes Dumbledore once again appeared in the fire. He was looking very grave. "Indeed you were right. Dark Mark was in the sky when I arrived." He saw the faces tense and realized what he had just said. Usually that meant someone had died. "No one was hurt," He added quickly. The faces relaxed slightly. "I couldn't find anyone. The village was quiet, just the dark mark in the sky. I'll alert the ministry to be on the look out. I took care of the nasty thing so the villagers won't have a clue." With a firm nod he vanished.
"Lily," James said softly. "We should probably get some sleep." He looked very grave in the half-light of the fire.
"Yes," Lily agreed standing up. "Good night." She said shortly and rushed up the stairs to her room.
"Sirius," James said seriously when Lily had left. "Take care of her when I'm gone. She's going to need it."
"Sure," He replied. "Her and her cooking are nice to have around."
With that issue apparently settled James moved on quickly. "So, the dancing with Lexie fell through?"
"Oh," Sirius said, flipping a hand dismissively. "Everything was fine until we ran into Samantha."
"Who's Samantha?" James asked, bewildered.
"She's the brunette I was supposed to be taking out tonight. I had to cancel, see, to take Lexie?"
"And what color hair does Lexie have?"
"She's blonde."
"Tough luck, mate," James said, giving Sirius a slight jab on the shoulder.
"There's hope yet! The Hog's Head just hired a cute new bartender."
"Well, all the best, my friend. Good-night!"
"Good morning," Sirius corrected, and they went their separate ways.
Sirius situated himself comfortably on the couch again. He did technically have his own room here. Well, it was the guest room, not necessarily his room—even though the closet was full of his clothes-- but he much preferred sleeping on their couch, for some bizarre reason.
Sirius lay awake and stared into the darkness for several minutes contemplating his old friend Remus Lupin. Where was he now? And what was he doing?
"Sirius?" A whisper could be heard from somewhere in the darkness of the room. He quickly sat up and saw James coming toward him. Sirius was barely able to see him in the darkness, let alone the coffee table he tripped over.
"I just remembered something," James whispered after he steadied himself from almost falling over the seemingly invisible coffee table. "Tomorrow is Halloween and the big Halloween fest is in Hogsmeade. What if something really bad happens?"
"It'd be a perfect opportunity," Sirius agreed, his face grave.
"We have to keep an eye out. Find out what's going on." James said.
"Right," Sirius replied. James retreated off to bed once more, swearing, for he failed to avoid the blasted coffee table.