A/N: Newly revised Feb. 28, 2007

The Last Laugh

Chapter Five: Attack of the Squirrels

By: Stardust

"So Sirius, what are you up to today?" Lily asked, as they closed the door and headed back inside the house.

"Oh you know, a little of this a little of that, feed the hungry in Uganda, cure the common cold…if I have time, contemplate my life."

"Busy schedule," Lily agreed. "Does contemplating your life include Angela Star?" She asked, grinning.

Sirius's handsome countenance flushed ever so slightly. "Well, I don't know," He said, running fingers through his hair. "If I get the time to think about my life, I'll let you know if I get around to Angie."

"Oh, OK, seems fair enough," Lily replied, still grinning.

"Watch it Lily," Sirius said, narrowing his eyes at her. "James is far away now."

"Careful, you wouldn't want to wake up with the silent treatment again now would you?" Sirius lifted his eyebrows in surprise.

"And James worries about you. I'm going to tell him you're a woman who can take care of herself. And, as such, I think that's my cue to head out. I've been wasting so much time. There's all those hungry people in Uganda."

"Right, right, take them a banana, on me," Lily said, tossing one to him as he prepared to throw floo powder on the fire. Sirius winked his thanks at her before stepping in the grate and disappearing.

For Lily, life in the Potter household without James was pretty lonely and boring. Sirius was usually a very in and out kind of guy, sometimes staying sometimes not, always showing up at strange hours. She wasn't surprised when he didn't come back that night or the next.

Angie came home from work one night feeling beat. She threw her cloak and her bag carelessly aside and caught sight of herself in the mirror. "I look old," She said out loud, studying her careworn features and slightly frazzled looking hair. "I feel old." She continued to stare at her reflection in the mirror for a few minutes wishing there was someone around to respond. Her mirror wasn't the type to comment which she always regarded as a plus. It was one thing when a real live person made a suggestion but when inanimate objects started talking about physical appearances…

Standing there, in the half-darkness, looking over her weary face she realized she didn't want to be like this for the rest of her life. She was still young and she should be able to feel young and look good. She had nearly died a few days ago, life was short and there was no reason to stand around waiting for it to be over. She narrowed her eyes and gave herself a determined look and then stalked off to her bedroom.

A few hours later she had completely redone herself. Ready to take on the nightlife of Hogsmeade she had been enjoying so much when she first moved in. This time when she looked in the mirror and took in her curling blonde hair and stylish new clothes she smiled, her brilliantly white teeth contrasting with her sultry red lip-stick. The makeup around her eyes made them pop and she got a rush of excitement as she gathered up her cloak and headed out, determined to make a night of things.

She was at a dance club, slightly tipsy she supposed having had more to drink than usual. Earlier in the night she had met a guy who thought she was pretty hot and who had told her so at length. It was he who had encouraged her to drink. Now she had no idea what happened to him but she was enjoying the rhythm of the music and the movement of the crowd around her. She didn't feel old anymore, not tied down by a job and responsibility.

It was pretty late when she ran into Sirius. They didn't try to talk, the noise level and the amount of movement would have prevented that, but they didn't need to anyway. She was very aware of her heart beating in her chest pumping blood through her body in time with the music and when his hand touched the bare skin on her arm shock waves went racing through her body. Words and thoughts were not as powerful as feelings just then. He started kissing her and she kissed him back, the world to themselves in the center of a crowded and dark dance floor.

The next day she couldn't really remember how it had happened. They were dancing and randomly making out and then…not. And she had come home and went straight to bed. They hadn't spoken to each other the entire night. Words had not been necessary.

Work that day was more of a distraction from life than the other way around and the moment she got off she went straight to the Potters house. Once she was standing out front she started to have second thoughts. What if Sirius was there? That would be so awkward she would probably die on the spot. On the other hand she didn't think she could live much longer without talking to someone, namely Lily, about what had happened.

Taking a deep breath she knocked firmly on the door and then shut her eyes tight hoping against hope that Lily, and not Sirius, would answer.

It was Lily. Angie let out a gusty sigh and then leaned in and whispered. "Sirius isn't here, is he?"

"No," Lily said, "I haven't seen him since James left."

"Ah…well, uh, I have," Angie said, entering the house. "Sorry to barge in on you Lily, do you feel like going out and getting some dinner?"

"Sounds like a great idea. And, what's this about Sirius?"

"I'll explain, in great detail, in a minute, let's go get settled first."

When they finally had taken their seats in a nice little place in Diagon Alley and had ordered their food and were sipping daintily at their drinks Lily couldn't hold back her curiosity any longer. "So, what happened?"

Now that Angie was actually faced with divulging the gory details to Lily she wasn't sure she wanted to. She was a little embarrassed about her behavior—and Sirius's. It was such a "them" thing to do. But she had to talk to someone about it.

"I ran into him in Hogsmeade last night, in a dance club, on the dance floor."

"And?"

"I must have been drunk Lily," Angie said and Lily's eyes grew wide in anticipation of what she might say next.

"What did you do, Angie?" She asked barely containing her excitement. Angie scowled at her.

"We had a nice little make-out session on the dance floor and then left. No we're not getting back together and no it doesn't mean anything," Angie said huffily. "I don't like these implications you're sending me."

"Right, so you see someone, kiss them, but have absolutely no feelings for them even though you come directly to your best friend after work and insist upon telling her about it. I'm sure you don't want me to offer any opinions or reactions to the incident because 'it doesn't mean anything'."

Angie folded her arms and refused to say any more. "Fine, I'll tell you anyway because I can't hold back talking about this any more than you can," Lily said, grinning at her friend who reluctantly smiled back.

"It seems to me the two of you haven't lost your attraction for one another. Why not make the random make-out sessions into a permanent any-time-you-want deal?"

"Lily!" Angie cried, doing her best to look shocked. "What a thing to say about a relationship. Classifying it as a contractual agreement for romance."

"Oh come on," Lily said. "That's the fun part."

"Lily," Angie whined. "You are supposed to be my voice of reason, my conscious. Scold me for getting drunk and making out with Sirius. That's a bad move. I'm making all the same mistakes again. I know what this leads to…tears!"

"Why not try it again Angie?"

"Lily! For Merlin's sake! What kind of friend are you?"

"OK, you're right. Sirius has hurt you in the past and it's possible he could again. But you need to talk to him Angie, one way or the other. I can't have this awkwardness between you. And you two had better clarify your feelings for one another. What were you thinking when you kissed him? Certainly not about the past."

"Not exactly. I mean, not in the way I should have. I was remembering what it was like to kiss Sirius but…"

"You're falling Angie."

"No, damn it!" She said, slamming her hand on the table. "I'm standing on the edge but I refuse to fall over…again!"

"OK, good. You've got goals. Now, are you going to go back tonight?"

"Absolutely not."

At midnight that night she was in the familiar embrace of Sirius Black.

Eventually Lily grew impatient with her missing friends and her banal life. James wrote her often but a letter was little company for a healthy young girl and there were only so many things to distract her. She'd often find herself doing something around the house and lapse into a memory of a time when James had been present, his hair, of course, would be all messed up on his head, his eyes dancing, the lingering signs of mirth still on his face. Because, of course, he had been laughing. With James and/or Sirius around there was always laughter.

Other times she'd read something or think of something and want to tell James right away and then realize he was miles from her and she would go and find a picture of him and sit down at her desk and write a letter. But it wouldn't be the same.

So, one night, instead of writing letters to James she sent owls to Sirius and Angie. Angie's ran along the lines of "Haven't heard from you. Are you and Sirius 'OK' because I want to have you both over for dinner." While Sirius's, by contrast, said, "Food. Come get it."

She received a reply from Angie later that night via floo. "Angie!" Lily said, taking a seat by the fire.

"Lily…are you…alone?"

"Yes. Sirius is not here," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"I saw him again," Angie said. "I'm such a failure."

"Tell me everything!" Lily exclaimed.

"There's nothing to tell. It went the same as the first time. But it will not happen again."

"You mean you still haven't actually talked to him?" Lily asked.

"No."

"Angie! How am I supposed to have you both over for dinner?" Angie bit her lip.

"Maybe you could talk to him. Tactfully bring me up…see what he says…"

"OK, first of all, I refuse to be a go-between. We're adults now. I refuse to be so juvenile," Lily said, sniffing and putting her nose in the air a bit. "And secondly, I already tried that and got nothing."

"What!?" Angie exclaimed. "You tried that?"

"Well…it was before this whole random make-out thing started happening so I would assume there might be something now. But when I asked him before he just sort of grinned but said nothing."

"What does that mean?"

"You should ask him," Lily suggested.

"No-o."

"Well, what do you think about him?"

"What, so you can tell him? You're supposed to be my friend," Angie protested.

"I am your friend. And, did I not just say I refuse to be your go-between. I was not planning on telling him anything. However, if I knew what you thought about the matter I might be able to judge what Sirius's thoughts were. They are likely to be what yours are."

"No, they're not," Angie said. "Sirius doesn't think about relationships in terms of relationships. For one thing, he's a guy. For another, he's Sirius. He can have any woman anywhere and I'm sure he does. I doubt I'm his only dance club hook-up."

"I think you're undervaluing Sirius a bit here," Lily said critically. "But you are perhaps right about you not being the only one. It's hard to know with Sirius. I've no idea where else he sleeps when he's not here. He hasn't been here since James left last week, by the way."

"Oh, that's disappointing," Angie said.

"But with the promise of food, like any good dog, he'll come. So, what do you say?"

"Lily that is going to be deeply awkward. Awkward turtle."

"Nothing like a little social tension to bring the problems out of hiding," Lily replied. "How about Sunday evening?"

"I don't know Lily…How about the two of us do something?"

"No offense, Angie, but we've done that and your reasons for wanting to do it again are purely selfish."

Angie let out a deep sigh. "I suppose if Sirius agrees to be there then I will to."

"Brilliant," Lily said, brightening. "It will be worth it. I'll cook."

"Mmm…"

"Now, go and think about what you're going to wear and I'll see you on Sunday," Lily said. Angie stuck out her tongue at Lily.

"OK, fine. See you then," Angie said.

"Bye."

Sirius showed up at half past one the next afternoon quite suddenly. "What's this about food?" He asked, leaning over Lily's shoulder. She had been sitting at her desk, writing to James, and he had suddenly startled her. She gave a shout and blotted ink on the parchment.

"For Merlin's Sake, Sirius," She said after the initial shock. "Where did you come from?"

"Well I was just in London at the Leaky Cauldron but before that I—"

"Never mind," Lily broke in.

"Food?" Sirius tried. Lily laughed and shook her head.

"I'm sure I've got something…" She said, setting down her quill. He followed her to the kitchen. "The invitation wasn't specific, I realize," Lily continued as she started to pull various things from cabinets. "But I meant it to be for Sunday evening. Dinner here, with me and Angie?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow questioningly but his answer was immediate and candid. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Oh good…I was starting to get lonely I guess," Lily said, smiling self-consciously. "I had to have someone over."

"Aw Lily, you missed me!" Sirius said, grinning wide.

"Sure Sirius," She said, playing along. "I missed you."

"You really, really missed me?" He asked, throwing his arms around her shoulders.

"Yes, but perhaps not that much," Lily replied.

"Oh," Sirius said, removing his person from her and taking a step away. "You really, really missed me?" He tried again. Lily burst into laughter and gave him a real hug then.

"Yes, I think I did."

The weather was unseasonably mild and so Lily decided they would picnic. Sirius had showed up that morning, taken a nap and a shower, and was now helping her in the kitchen, pack the goods into the basket. "I brought us a little something special," He said, producing a bottle of wine.

"Mmm," Lily said. "Good thinking."

"I'm thinking I'm going to need it," He muttered.

"Ah, and what is that supposed to mean?" Lily wondered aloud, trying to catch his eye. He smiled self-consciously.

"Maybe I got around to a little contemplation…and it included Angie."

"Really?" Lily asked, frankly shocked at his candid admission. He shrugged.

"Turns out that's a trickier problem than hunger in Uganda." Lily laughed.

"Any solutions come to mind?"

"Not yet," Sirius admitted. "But maybe later…"

"Keep me posted," Lily requested. They had scarcely finished the discussion when Angie arrived on scene. She was a little over-done Lily thought, but not as extravagantly as she expected. She was dressed rather low-key, but her hair and make-up expressed a lot of preparation. Sirius, probably never noticed one way or the other.

"Picnic?" Angie asked enthusiastically. "Brilliant."

When they had settled outside and were enjoying the meal conversation lapsed into general topics. "So…how's James?" Angie asked, sipping her pumpkin juice.

"He reports doing well in school," Lily replied.

"Oh right," Sirius said, sarcastically. "So well, he doesn't even want to come home at all." Lily smiled and acknowledged his joke. Every week she had to talk him out of quitting to come home. Not that he didn't like it, or that he wasn't focused on graduating and getting a job.

"Well…after what happened last time he came home…" Lily suggested. Sirius's eyes flicked to Angie involuntarily and she fidgeted under his gaze.

"Working at the Prophet is hard in some ways," She said thoughtfully. "We hear a lot of things…a lot of rumors and unsubstantiated but awful things. We also hear a lot of true things…"

"I keep telling James that's why he's at school," Lily said quietly. Angie nodded.

In the stillness of their silence a squirrel from a nearby tree that had been watching them for some time now grew brave and ventured close. Cautiously, Sirius held out a bit of bread and the squirrel ventured a little closer.

Another one joined the first, but they were still a few feet away from Sirius's outstretched hand. "Here," Sirius said softly, lightly tossing the piece of bread. A third squirrel dropped from a tree and snatched up the piece.

"Whoa," Lily said. And Sirius tore up some more bread and offered it up. This time the first squirrel ventured up to Sirius and within no time he had three squirrels surrounding him.

"Watch it," Angie said, as a new one climbed up his arm and on his shoulder.

"More bread," Sirius said and Lily handed him the last hunk. "This is incredible," Sirius said, feeding the squirrels. "More," he commanded.

"There is no more..."

"Uh-oh," Angie said softly. The squirrels, having eaten up their bread, started to make squeaking noises in their throats. The one on Sirius's shoulders still clutched a small piece of bread in his hands. Quite suddenly the other squirrels jumped, going after the one with the bread.

Sirius gave a cry of alarm and Angie and Lily dissolved into laughter. "Help!" Sirius cried, brushing off squirrels and getting to his feet. The squirrels now turned to him, their enabler. His eyes grew wide and then he shouted "RUN!"

Laughing and shouting Angie and Lily, with Sirius following, and a pack of angry squirrels trailing behind, they took off for the house.

Once inside, the three stood in the dark for a moment, breathing heavily and recovering from their, as what Sirius would later describe as, brush with death. Lily was just about to turn on the light when they all froze. From somewhere in the depths of the house, most likely the second floor, they heard a faint sound of muffled footsteps with a haunting regularity that sent chills through their bodies.

"They followed us in," Angie whispered, still repressing the urge to laugh.

"Shh!" Lily said, and they all grew serious. The sound stopped and they pulled out their wands. The house had been empty when they left.

They quietly crept up the kitchen stairs with Sirius in the lead, Lily in the middle, and Angie bringing up the rear. By the time they had reached the second floor the sounds had started again, but they seemed along way off.

In the convoluted design of the house there were a few short hallways that provided some dark corners. They positioned themselves in the hallway and listened.

A sudden movement and sound made all three whip around and grip their wands. It was very dark and with a little light of the moon, filtering through the window. The footsteps seemed closer and heavy and slow. They watched the nearest corner with a mounting sense of panic.

Lily's throat had gone desert dry. She gripped her wand so tightly, she thought it might snap!

Sirius had silently tried to get them to go into the bedroom but they weren't cowards! Besides, curiosity was growing, and so was the fear. Sirius had rolled his eyes, for he could think of nothing better to do that was silent. Sirius stepped to the left of Lily, which she noted was very respectful. He had not tried to step in front of her, which is probably what James would have done.

Angie, who always kept a pretty calm head in these sorts of situations, had stepped to Sirius's left. All three stood deathly stiff and silent. The wands pointed towards the hallway, watching and waiting.

The footsteps stopped, and they could hear the creak of a door opening… and then closing. Lily now grasped her wand with both hands.

The silence, and the eternity this seemed to be taking increased the suspense, as well as the fear. A prickle on the back of her neck made Lily shiver; Sirius nearly jumped.

The footsteps came closer. Lily drew her breath in. Closer still… they were very close now, and echoing. Then, something came around the corner! Lily, with all the tension thought she might scream.