Ok then! I think ill finish the story. Sorry if you actually like my story and it took so long because I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue but I really want to now! enjoy!
Life in the loft was pretty depressing for the past week. Jackie locked herself in Roger's room, coming out only to go to the bathroom. Maureen and Mimi tried to get Jackie to come out, but neither of them had any luck. Nobody knew what was wrong with her. That is, nobody except Mark. Mark was still holding Jackie's secret about Mel and was at the edge of breaking down. So to keep himself from spilling the secret, he would go out filming all day. Roger was the most depressed of all next to Jackie. He was struggling with his music and was always in a very bad mood. It drove him crazy that he couldn't help his sister. Even when he tried to talk to her, she would shut him out and ignore him.
On Sunday morning Roger, Collins and Mimi were all in the living room. Collins was making breakfast with some groceries Maureen and Joanne brought over. Mimi was reading a book about dancing and Roger was strumming his guitar with a sour look on his face. The only sound was the sizzling of the bacon Collins was making. After a while Mimi looked up from her book.
" Roger, stop being so happy." Mimi said sarcastically, trying to lighten up his mood. Collins chuckled from the kitchen but Roger still remained the same.
" I would have never thought that I would miss Jackie Davis being herself." Roger said. " Why won't she at least tell someone whats up with her?" Mimi shrugged her shoulders and Collins continued to make bacon. No one knew what to say to Roger. Shaking his head vigorously, he returned to his guitar, thought he was still thinking about Jackie. " Mark sure has been out a lot, hasn't he?"
" Well, that is how Mark sorts out his emotions, by filming." Mimi reminded him. Roger nodded his head in agreement. Collins finished making breakfast and announced it was ready. Mimi and Roger took a plate of food and ate in silence. Collins knocked on Jackie's door lightly.
" Jackie? I made bacon. You want some?" Collins asked hopefully. Jackie had not eaten in 3 straight days and everyone was trying there best to make her eat something. Collins waited for Jackie's answer but she gave no sign that she has heard what he had said. Collins tried again. " It smells so good Jackie, all crispy and delicious. You really should have some." Collins said. Still, Jackie did not answer. Collins let out a breath if devete. " Well, I'll leave you some by the door just incase you change you mind." Collins said as he place the chipped plate of bacon down by the edge of her door. He walked back to the table where Mimi and Roger sat. After about 5 minutes the door opened slightly and a hand reached out and grabbed the plate of bacon. She took it inside the room and closed the door again. Roger sighed in relief.
" Well at least shes eating something." Roger said eating a piece of his own bacon. Collins left the table not too long after because he had to grade some papers at NYU. Mimi finished her plate and put it in the sink.
" Don't worry about her Roger." Mimi said while putting on her jacket. " Whatever is wrong with her, she'll get over it soon." Roger shrugged his shoulders, not knowing how to reply. Mimi kissed him on the forehead and hurried out the door. Roger got up and put his plate in the sink along with Mimi and Collin's. He put on a sweatshirt and jeans and grabbed his guitar. He walked over to Jackie's door and knocked.
" I'm going to band practice Jackie." He said kindly. " I'll be back later tonight. Please, stay in the house, ok?" The only reply Roger got was the soft tapping of the rain outside on the window. Roger shook his head and walked out of the loft. Soon afterwards, the door opened slightly. Two green eyes, filled with hurt and tears looked around the deserted loft. She quickly walked out of the room and went into the bathroom. She locked the door behind her and even put a chair in front of the door for extra protection. She went over to the cabinet where it was full of all sorts of things Roger, Mimi, Mark and Collins used everyday. Then Jackie saw it, shimmering brightly against the sunlight. It was a razor blade that Roger used for shaving, since he needed to shave so often. Jackie grabbed it and sat down on the bathroom floor. She took the razor to her arm and made a trail of blood up her left arm. Jackie winced in pain, letting all her emotion out with that one cut. She felt as though her troubles were flowing out of her, through the bright red blood. She sat there for a while and closed her eyes, taking in the pain. After about 10 minutes, she looked down and saw the huge mess on the bathroom floor.
" Shit!" Jackie screamed to herself as she grabbed a handful of toilet paper and tried to clean up the blood. She put the bloody paper at the bottom of the trash can so nobody would see it and then wiped her arms, trying to ease the flow of blood that was running out of her wrist. After awhile, the blood slowed down and cleaned the razor off and put it back into the cabinet. Then Jackie went into the bedroom at change. She put on a long sleeve blue shirt, to hide her cut and a pair of old jeans. She then brushed her long hair and put it up into a tight ponytail. After that, Jackie felt relived for the first time in weeks. She actually smiled and started to read a schoolbook that she had to finish by the end of the school year.
After about 2 hours, Mark opened the door and came inside. He saw Jackie on the couch and waved.
" Hey Jackie, how are you feeling?" Mark asked, trying to keep friendly. Jackie responded with a huge smile, which caught Mark by surprise.
" Never better." Jackie said, still smiling. Mark was confused. ' Wasn't she just locked up in her room and not speaking to anyone, just a few hours ago?' Mark thought to himself.
" You seem…uh, happier then usual." Mark stated, still feeling unconvinced about how happy Jackie was. Jackie shrugged her shoulders, still smiling.
" I feel happier." Jackie answered. Mark looked at her one more time, before shrugging his shoulders and turning around to get something to eat. Jackie looked away, her heart pounding so hard that she was surprised Mark didn't hear it. ' That was a close call.' Jackie thought to herself. She looked down at her arm and pulled her sleeve further up her arm. She walked over to the table and joined Mark who was eating a pack of crackers. She started talking like the old Jackie did, but there was something about her that wasn't right, Mark noticed. She smiled and laughed like she used to and she even said some sarcasm remarks. But for some reason, Mark felt as though this was all an act of some sort. He shrugged it off and enjoyed how much happier Jackie was.
About 2 hours later, Collins and Roger walked in the loft. They froze in their tracks when they saw Jackie out of the bedroom. Their jaws dropped when they saw her laughing and smiling.
" Jackie?" Roger asked out of disbelieve. Jackie turned around and smiled at Roger.
" Hey Rog, whats up?" Jackie asked, still smiling. Collins laughed and walked over to the table.
" Wow Jackie you seem to be in a better mood." Collins said, taking in a deep breath of his cigarette. Jackie nodded her head in agreement.
" Mark was just telling me about when Maureen lived with you before she moved out. He was telling me how one time she walked in on Roger when he was just getting dressed and she…" Jackie was cut off my Roger, who ran over to her and picked her up, and then put her on top of the hard, cold metal table. He then lowered himself to her eye level and stared into her eyes. Jackie just smiled the whole while Roger examined her eyes, trying to see if this was really true. Collins and Mark were dead silent as this went on, not knowing what to say. After about a minute of staring at her, Roger's face relaxed and he smiled.
" Are you sure your ok?" Roger asked. Jackie laughed.
" Of course I am, asshole." Jackie said punching his arm and sliding of the table. Collins laughed loudly as he finished the story about Maureen that Mark had started. Roger was beaming as Collins finished the story.
" So Maureen learned that you may want to knock before walking into someone's room, especially Roger's." Collins said with tears in his eyes. Mark and Jack howled with laughter and even Roger laughed, though his cheeks were slightly red.
" Well, lets be thankful she moved out." Roger said, looking at his sister who was still laughing. " Jackie, how are you so normal all of a sudden?" Roger finally asked, looking concerned. Jackie stopped laughing and looked at the floor, trying to keep away from Roger's eye contact.
" I dunno, I guess I just felt better all of a sudden." Jackie said in a normal tone. Inside her head she was panicking, hoping that Roger wouldn't catch on to anything. She felt as though that razor had saved her life, helping her get rid of her pain and letting her live her life again. Roger looked down at his sister, still unconvinced but relived to see her smiling again at the same time. Just then, Mimi came walking in. She look confused as she saw Jackie sitting their, completely normal. She looked at Roger who smiled back at her.
" She fine now. Everything's normal again." Roger said, beaming down at his sister. Jackie looked at Mimi and smiled at her. She ran over to her and hugged her.
" Sorry I yelled at you. I wasn't thinking at the time." Jackie said. Mimi hugged Jackie back.
"Its alright, chica. No harm done." Mimi answered. The rest of the evening, the gang sat around and talked. They told stories of when they were living with Maureen and all the parties they used to go to. The whole time Jackie smiled and laughed. Everyone was delighted to see her back to her normal self. Though Mark was still unconvinced. He knew that something was wrong, very wrong. Jackie couldn't have been so sad one hour and then happy and preppy a couple hours later. He shook his head, hoping that it was just his imagination.
" Well I think im gonna go to bed." Jackie announced around 10:30. " Goodnight."
" Goodnight." Everyone responded in unison. They watched as Jackie yawned, and then shut the door behind her.
" Well that was good. I haven't seen her smile in weeks and now she's even laughing." Roger said smiling slightly to himself. Mimi and Collins nodded in agreement. Mark stared at Jackie's door, not taking his eyes off of it. " Mark? Whats the matter?" Roger asked. Mark broke out of his trance and shook his head.
" Nothing, just a little tired. I think I'll go to bed too." Mark said, trying to sound casual. Everyone nodded in agreement and they all headed toward their bedrooms to go to bed.
It was about 3:30 at night when Jackie woke up from a bad dream in a cold sweat. She was breathing hard and shaking all over. She started to cry from all the memories. She walked out of her room and into the bathroom. She put the chair in front of the door again and took out the razor. Little did Jackie know that this little razor was going to be the beginning of some big problems.
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