Midnight Charades

Disclaimer: Own Not, Sue Not.

A.N. Hello my pretties! I trust you will all R&R at the end of this bit of shameless fluff. I was very bored to do this, I hope you know. Terribly, awfully bored.

OH PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Ahem. On with the story.

AND! ACTION!

Chapter 1:

The Values of Bleach

Lily

Dear Diary,

Ugh. My head…

Note to self—never drink alcohol again.

And never make a fool out of myself, which will subsequently lead to consumption of alcohol

…And never challenge James Potter to a debate which will end up with ignoring the first two notes to self that I have just written down permanently in this diary.

Oh, and how can I forget a rule about never being in a room with Potter?

"Oof."

My, my, Lily Evans thought wryly as she picked herself up from the floor, the klutz factor has already kicked in, and so early in the morning too!

"Whatwasat…?" Her friend, Jade mumbled sleepily.

"Oh, nothing…" Lily murmured, knowing already that Jade hadn't bothered to stay awake for the answer to her question.

Mumbling irritably to herself, Lily dragged her protesting feet towards the bathroom, hitting them on several small objects along the way.

Hopping into the shower, Lily almost screeched. Apparently the house elves had not heated the water yet for 2 a.m. showers.

Reaching out her hand from behind the curtain, Lily felt around on the small counter for her shampoo bottle. Grasping what she thought to be it, she drew her arm back behind the curtain and poured the stuff into her hand.

Rubbing the shampoo into her scalp for about a minute, Lily began to wonder why it wasn't lathering like it should, and why it smelled so odd.

"Erica probly' mixed the soap into it again for one of her experiments…" Lily grumbled, rinsing out the mixture.

Blinking her bleary eyes, Lily glanced at the innocent bottle sitting on the bathtub ledge. And then she took a double take.

James

The shrill scream that disturbed the early morning tranquility of the castle was one that James had memorized years before. Sitting up and grinning, the boy gazed around the room in satisfaction.

His best friend, Sirius Black, turned to his side and looked suspiciously at his partner in crime.

"POTTER!"

"What did you do this time?"

"Why, whatever do you mean, Mr. Padfoot?" James inquired with his best Bambi eyes.

"I mean—"

The extremely violent smashing sound of a door being ripped in half by a powerful spell interrupted Sirius.

A sudden jarring motion, and James was floundering upside-down in the air, 6 feet above the hard stone floor.

A certain white-faced with fury Lily Evans, strode into the room, wincing as she did so.

"What's wrong, Lilykins?" James asked from his perch by the ceiling. "Couldn't wait to see me at breakfast? Or did you just want to see me with a bare chest, because if that's the case, all you need to do is ask…"

"You planted a bottle of BLEACH where my shampoo should have been!" Lily screamed, massaging one of her temples as if she was experiencing a hangover.

"Why, what's so wrong with that? I personally think that the white hair makes you look much more mature…"

Lily's face paled to a shade even whiter than her damaged hair.

"W-whi-WHITE?" she asked, eyes wide under her gingery eyebrows.

"Haven't looked in the mirror lately, I presume, Lily?" Remus yawned, stretching his arms out like a windmill.

"No…"

"Then I suggest you not do so, or else my ears may start to bleed." Sirius commented lazily from his position in his bed.

"By the way, Lily, why were you up at this hour anyway?" Remus inquired, now stretching on the floor, "My watch says that it's 2:14—a.m.!"

"Oh…Um…" Lily fumbled.

"Looks to me that somebody cracked open a barrel of fire whisky last night…" James said slyly.

Without even flinching or glancing at him, Lily shot a small fireball in James' direction. Just in time, he swung to the right, only singeing his precious hair.

"What the hell, woman!" Sirius exclaimed, instantly jumping up from his careless lounging position on his four-poster. "Never mess with a man's hair!"

The look she sent him sent chills down his spine.

Next, the white-haired beauty turned to her captive, who was of course whimpering like a protective mother and flattening his hair at the side of his head. "You hurt it!" James cried passionately to her, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Oh, save it, Potter." Lily snapped wearily at him. "I'm tired… The lesson may penetrate your thick skull one of these days not to bother me when I'm tired…"

"Oh, But it's so much fun!" Sirius proclaimed joyfully as he bounced on his bed. "Why do you always have to take everything to seriously all the time—I mean, it's just an early morning wake-up call—AAAH!"

Before Sirius could finish his explanation, Lily muttered one little spell that would make all the difference to the conversation.

"Avis."

A flock of birds erupted from the tip of her wand to engulf Sirius Black with a horde of beating wings, tearing claws and countless pecking beaks.

"Now," Lily said, turning again to her prisoner, "How do I get this stuff out of my hair?". She lounged carelessly on the edge of Sirius' bed, having been vacated a few seconds ago by a howling Sirius who was now running around the room at full speed to dislodge the birds from his face—with no avail.

"Lily," Remus intervened, "he will never give up that easily, and you know it."

A glare shut him up. "Very well." Lily considered thoughtfully. "Then I will have to resort immediately to interrogation. Tickle interrogation."

A soft gasp was heard collectively throughout the room. Lily's tickling charms were the most horrible things ever. When they were practicing them during charms class last year, Lily and James had been partnered together (Professor Flitwick regretted it later for he was the one having to clean it up) and within 10 seconds James had learned that his bladder was not as strong as he had thought.

"No! Aww, come on, Evans!" James frantically cried from his high vantage point. "Come on! That's not fair! I don't even have my glasses—I can't even see!"

"Then how did you know that Lily's hair was white?" Questioned Remus from the other end of the room, at the same time trying to block out the loud snoring sounds coming from Peter.

"Oh, I charmed it to make her hair that way as insurance when I planted it." The boy replied with a smug grin on his face. "Would you have expected less of me Moony? Frankly, if you did I would be quite insulted."

"Could we get to the point here!" Screeched Lily, thoroughly worn out of patience at the moment.

When the boys quieted down (except Sirius, who was still running around with birds attached to his face, screaming bloody murder), Lily proceeded.

"Now, who can tell me how to remove this bleached effect from my hair?"

"Ooh! Ooh, I can!" James said excitedly from his vantage point.

"Yes, Potter?" Lily questioned, rounding on him.

"Well…uh…it's a secret!" he stumbled.

"Great. Well, that proves my theory." Lily muttered to herself.

"What theory?" Remus questioned her.

"The theory that Potter has the mental capacity of a five-year-old, what else?"

"Oh, good point, but wasn't that obvious earlier?" Remus pursued the question.

"Yes, but it wasn't a confirmed fact."

"But there have been numerous other occasions that could have confirmed it for you, so why only now?"

"Because all those other times—hey, wait! You're getting us off topic!" Lily realized.

Remus shrugged and shot a sympathetic glance in James' direction.

" 'S okay." James mouthed at the friend who had just bought him time so that Sirius could pass him his glasses and wand, unnoticed.

"Now," Lily said slowly, turning back to her captive, who immediately put on a show of quivering and whimpering, holding one protective hand over his stomach and the other behind his back, the one containing his wand.

"Wait… How did you get your glasses back—they were on the table behind you!" Lily practically shouted her observation to the room.

"Sirius passed them to him!" Peter squeaked gleefully at being able to answer a question for once. (Hehad beenawakened by Sirius jumping on him in his mad dash to get rid of the birds) "He also gave him his wand!" Peter shrieked, expecting to be basked in praises for his valuable observations.

"HE WHA—"

A bright light flashed brilliantly through Lily's vision and she abruptly stopped in the middle of her sentence, gripped with terror as she fell into the shadowy depths of sleep.

A soft thump could be heard in the 5th year boy's dormitory as Lily Evans fainted in mid-sentence.

"Good job, boys. Now let's get to work."

There, ya happy? I created a new story! How was the first chapter? I yearn to know what you think. What do you think they will do to Lily while she's asleep? Any reviewers to guess will get a virtual goodies basket including the home-made pastry of their choice!

Later Dayz,

Kay (aka. Amber Wasabi)