This chapter is for those who have been helpful enough to review and enlighten me as to what works, what they liked, and what they truly found to be a horrid waste of paper.
The last chapter was rather cliched, I know, and I apologize again to those who had to bear it. It was necessary I assure you, as there is nothing that I do without deliberation. Thank you guys for your comments, you know who you are. Please continue to review and read. Carry on.
XI: Ships and Shrinks and Other Things
Jack was spitting orders at the crew while I tried to compose myself. I succeeded in only producing hiccups and could barely control my shaking legs. I couldn't believe what had almost happened to me, and I was ashamed. Not by the situation, not entirely, but by the way that Jack must see me. In my own time I was more than able to take care of myself. Though it was true that the world had more than its fair share of low-life scumbags, I had never put myself in a situation where I could be compromised in anyway. Here however, it was unavoidable and that was terrifying. Women in my time had more rights than a woman could ever dream of having now. Few men would view a woman as a valuable person in society, most would merely see her as a decoration, and others would see her as an object to be used and them tossed aside. It was such a small world and minds are even smaller. The only means to escape this place would be to jump ship, which really wouldn't be all too appealing either. Here I was weak, and I had always hated that feeling of being defeated. If there was ever a time that I wanted to get back into therapy, today was the day. Aside from the irony of wanting to spend some quality couch time with my shrink, I wanted her to tell me that it was quite normal to feel even more attracted to Jack for what he did, but to snap out of it.
' Why couldn't Freud have been born a few hundred years earlier?' I thought as I released an shaky sigh. ' Analyze why you feel safe clinging to Jack later, and just focus on breathing now.' ordered my rational self.
"Capt'n, Jack! There be trouble on the starboard side." Mr. Gibbs bellowed.
'Shit!' My nose was really starting to run. I discreetly rubbed my teary face in Jack's shoulder as he fumbled for his spyglass. I just hoped my face wouldn't be covered in snot. This was a patented maneuver I'd use on those guys who insisted on giving me those sloppy wet kisses. I was just hoping the adapted version worked as well. I sniffed. ' Ah, much better,' and shifted in Jack's grip as it tightened just a little too much for my taste.
" Bugger." I looked p and saw Jack's face take on a rather apprehensive expression. And I was just starting to calm down. " Mr. Gibbs, on second thought, lash Decare to the mast. Ms. Wright will go down to the brig instead." Jack said as he started to try to pry my hands from his coat's lapels.
It seemed that finding a Zen-like state of mind would no longer be an issue. Calming down and feeling at peace, well that was just shot to hell. "What? Jack, you can't be serious." Mr. Sally and Jack succeeded in removing my chokehold on Jack, and Mr. Sally heaved me onto his shoulder. " He just, Decare just tried to rape me! Has that escaped your notice? I didn't do anything. Jack, he just tried to rape me!" I screamed as Jack turned and dashed toward the helm without a backward glance. " Jack Sparrow!"
" She's going to have your guts fer garters Jack. Why didn't you just let her stay aloft for this?" Gibbs asked.
Jack stared at his first mate, " Are you daft? She is in no condition, and I doubt that she knows how to use a sword let alone lift one."
Gibbs shrugged," Yeh can ferget about yer honeymoon then."
Jack looked crestfallen. " There'll be no living with her after this. Now where is that monkey?"
" Capt'n?"
" I want to shoot something."
" Aye, soon enough Jack."
" Right. Stations, eah man to his station. Ready the guns. Bring the Pearl about hard to port." Jack yelled, pushing one of the deck hands to the side and took the wheel in his own hands. " Prepare for battle."
" Load the guns you lilly-livered dogs." Gibbs paused as he ran towards his post. " Capt'n, do we fight to runaway, or are we going aboard?"
Jack looked at Gibbs with an incredulous expression on his face before rolling his eyes. " No, we do not fight to runaway, but if we so happen to cripple the French ship, plunder, pillage and pilfer the unmentioned stores and then flee, I see no real difference."
" So…"
" Find something shiny Mr. Gibbs." Jack grinned at Gibbs who returned the gesture. He ran once more around the ship before coming to stand beside Jack as he climbed onto the ship's railing. Holding onto a rope with one hand and cupping his other around his mouth, he shouted to the other ship. "Oye! You, no not you. You there, in the blue shirt. Yes you, where's your captain?"
On the other ship, there was a flurry of movement before another man of much smaller stature followed Jack's suit and mounted his ship's rail. " Oui, 'Allo, you are ze cap'tan? Are you English types ready to fight to ze death or vill you run vith your tail between your legs? It vill be fruitless for we vill follow you and destroy you ship."
Jack looked at Mr. Gibbs and murmured," Our colours are ready? Good." He looked to the audacious man across the water, waving his free hand. " I really doubt that will be necessary provided you surrender."
" Vhat?" shouted the shrill voice. " You, are outrageous. Us, surrender, ve are French and you, you are nothing but English pig-dogs."
Jack yawned, "He's making this far more complicated then it needs to be," Jack said as an aside to Mr. Gibbs. Once more he gave his attention to the French captain who had continued ranting.
"…and your father smelt of elderberries!"
" He's done it. My father drank only the finest rum. Unfurl the flag Mr. Gibbs. FIRE!"
The Pearl's flag flew freely in the wind, causing the captain's jaw to drop. He jumped back onto his deck seconds before the first shots were fired.
" I can't believe Sally left me here." I paced the tiny confines of my cell, water sloshed as I went. Sally wouldn't even tell me why this was happening as he had unceremoniously dropped me into a rather large puddle in the cell. To say I was angry would have been a gross understatement. I was livid and plotting my revenge.
"I'll start by throwing his hat overboard." I muttered to myself, peering through various holes in the side of the ship. " And then, then I'll ruin the supply of rum by adding a little bit of water from the ocean. Maybe he'll get a little surprise." I laughed evilly, " After all, the sea is nothing but the fish toilet, the fish toilet, the fish toilet," I began to sing, scheming all the while. " The sea is nothing but the…a boat!" I cried, getting a glimpse through the boards as we pulled alongside it. " Such a pretty boat, I mean ship." Maybe they would help me or talk some sense in to Jack's head. Just before I began to call for help I paused. Was that, why the hell were we shooting at them?
'Can't we all just get along?' I thought putting my eye back to the hole. Moments later I heard the answering call of cannon fire as the other ship retaliated. " Shit, I guess not. Argh!" I threw myself back onto the floor as a cannon ball flew through the boards just outside my cell. I got to my knees yelling, " Stop blowing holes in this ship!"
The battle was over and all had gone according to Jack's plan. Boarding the ship had gone smoothly; only Pintel had fallen overboard but had been retrieved to Jack's dismay. As Jack and Mr. Gibbs sorted through their earnings, Jack recalled the other captain's garbled accusation.
"Y-y-you cheated!"
Jack had merely smiled and shrugged, pointing his pistol at the captain. " Pirate."
Jack shook his head as he remembered. His recollections were however, interrupted as Mr. Gibbs cleared his throat in a rather annoying fashion.
"What is wrong Mr. Gibbs? Have some more rum."
" Capt'n, ain't you forgettin' something."
Jack thought aloud," Rum, gold, shiny jewels, food, more rum. No."
"Ye may want to get yer fiance from the brig and er, perhaps tell her what happened."
" She should have an inkling."
" Aye Capt'n, but I don't suppose she wants to stay there."
" Why are you on her side? It's better for the entire ship if she stays there."
Mr. Sally entered the cabin shaking his head. " I jes saw the lassie, and she's not smiling' nor are her eyes sparkling now Cap't. Yer jes goin' ter leave the poor lassie there? What sorta husband will yeh be? I wouldn't want me daug'er ter marry the likes of yeh if yeh was ter treat her like that."
" Are you finished?"
" The poor lamb 'as had such a day."
Jack made a face." Is it really necessary?" Mr. Sally gave him a stern look. " It is, I see." Jack called over his shoulder as he sashayed out of the cabin. " If anything should happen to me, keep to the code."
Quick recognition: I want to thank Monty Python for the unauthorized use of a few lines from " The Holy Grail", as well as the 80's band, the Surf punks, for use of their song, " The Beach is nothing but the bird bathroom." I am not making any profit from this story, so if an owner happens to stumble upon this, please do not sue me for borrowing without permission. Thank you.