Yep yep, has been a long time since I've posted anything and this really has been a long time running – well by that I mean my best friend came up with the idea and made the general plot and I bulked it – but finally, here it is, Enjoy and please rate :D

Cid Highwind was walking quite happily through a quiet street in Wutai. It was very quiet and dark, somewhat eerie; the quietest quiet street in Wutai, but Cid did not let the eerie atmosphere fade his cheerful mood. He was cheerful because after hours of work he had finally gotten Yuffie to "DRINK HER GODDAMN TEA!" Anyway, when he took a good look down the very quiet street, he saw a dark even quieter and more mysterious street. It didn't look very peachy or cheerful, but cid wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. As he walked slowly, but still cheerfully past said alleyway he was grabbed viscously by a man in a posh waist coat and wearing glasses. Cid's mood suddenly went drastically from cheerful to panic stricken. Cid hadn't noticed how obvious it was that the man had been there, as the waist coated man had been talking to himself the whole time. He felt ashamed that he had not noticed said figure standing in the shadows waiting to lurch out and grab him

"Hey get offa me!" Cid shouted as he struggled violently to get out of the headlock. "Jus' who are ya anyway? And what are ya doin' in my swamp?!" The posh guy laughed strangely.

"I am Cidolfus. I am your future…or past… in another world, but I'm not you, now fancy a bit of fun?" Cid stopped struggling and furrowed his eyebrows, confused as Cidolfus' grasp grew firmer.

"What the fuck? Are you crazy?"

"Don't you worry my sweet I am not crazy… Not at all…. Me? Crazy? Can't be. I want a turkey sub… no don't have a turkey sub, you only just ate, ooh but those turkey subs they do down at the mini store how can I resist? NO! Oh okay, I'm sorry Cid."

Cidolfus' eyes grew wide and terrifying, Cid knew he was a nut case, the mans insanity and obvious love for turkey subs, only added to his panic and fear.

"Are we going to rape him now?" Cidolfus whined in a scary high pitched voice. Not entirely unlike the voice of Seymour Guado.

"Very soon." Cidolfus muttered to himself.

"Ooooh goodie, you do know I love a good rape." Cidolfus' face grew even more twisted than before.

Cidolfus started to have a conversation with himself again, mostly about Paris Hilton, hooker boots and his penchant for child molestation. Cid found this quite an odd thing to talk to yourself about, but at least he wasn't talking to him about something that would freak him out even more, such as how he was his past or future, and maybe what happened on Desperate Housewives last night. Speaking of Desperate Housewives, who on that show hasn't killed someone? Even Cid has killed someone on Desperate Housewives! But I digress. Now any normal person would have run away from the crazy fool, but this is Final Fantasy for crying out loud! No one has any sense here! For instance, when they saw they're sworn enemies on random mountains as they walked towards somewhere to get the final Aeon, they should have run for the hills! It would have saved a lot of time levelling! But once again, that has nothing to do with the story at hand. So Cid just stood there amazed at the mans obvious lack of intelligence and insanity, somewhat bemused by how stupid he really was. While he stood there another blonde man, much younger and less creepy than Cidolfus, appeared from out of the shadows.

"What're you doing dad? The institution called me up and said you'd been wondering again, and wearing your old 'evil doctor' waistcoat. Honestly, I was in the middle of sexing my Vierra friend." said the younger guy in a bored and somewhat hushed voice.

"That man wanted to have sex with me, HE DID. HE DID. HE DID!!!" Cidolfus shouted, waving his arms in the air wildly and jumping up and down like a small child. Cid was outraged! It was Cidolfus who tried to rape HIM! Cidolfus was the one who grabbed him in his very posh waistcoat and asked himself if he was going to rape him! I mean, for crying out loud! Was this young man going to believe Cid or his own –albeit crazy—father?! Outrage grew into fury and he found himself becoming over hot and achy. His feet and lower abdomen began to sweat profusely as he shouted,

"He tried to rape me! ME!" Cidolfus was insisting. A small frown furrowed into Cid's forehead. He had had enough of this. If this crazy pedolester didn't walk away soon he was going to meet the sharp end of his spear.

"Of course he did, father. Let's get you back to the mental institute, it is after all getting late and the nurses will be worried. Not to mention your good friends Kefka and Golbez."

The younger man kindly guided the deranged, and likely dangerous man back to this mental institute. The younger man looked back, a glint in his eye. It was beautiful, Cid thought, and felt happy as the warmth of a bulge in his trousers agreed. He stood at attention for a minute until jumping out of his skin!

"Wait just one cotton picking minute!" His mind exclaimed. How could he think that another man had a beautiful glint in his eye?! Never the less, it was quite nice that he agreed with himself. Little did Cid know was that the old man had a large, water element pistol dug deeply and painfully into his arm pit. Serves him right, damn delusional rapist.

That was it. Hope you enjoyed it, stayed tuned for more in the series – and I promise this time they won't take as long as this one did.