Kate awoke the next morning to the smell of coffee, cologne and being kissed gently on the mouth. She opened her eyes and he was hovering over her, seated on the edge of the bed, hands on either side of her, freshly showered and dressed for the hospital. She smiled, wrapped her hands around the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deeper, longer kiss. He finally pulled back and smiled at her.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?" He asked.
"I did. How about you?" She asked.
"You wore me out babe, I slept like a rock." He teased.
"I'm not sure how my being on the receiving end of the greatest sex ever equates to me wearing you out, but I'm always more than happy to oblige." She commented making him smile.
"The greatest sex ever? Careful, flattery will get you everywhere." He chuckled.
"What time is it?" Kate asked.
"It's early, not quite seven o'clock, but I thought I'd see if you wanted a chance to wake up before Conner starts making his demands." Jack said and smiled at her.
"Mmm and you brought me coffee too? You're sweet. What time does he usually get up?" Kate asked.
"He's up Kate. Conner doesn't subscribe to the concept that sleeping in on the weekends is fun." Jack laughed.
"What time are you leaving for the hospital?" Kate asked.
"I need to leave by eight. I might be home by noon, but I'm on call for the ER this weekend so I can't make any promises. You guys might not see me again until tonight." He admitted with a twinge of regret in his voice.
"Well I think we'll survive a whole day without you if we have to, but I should grab a shower while I have the chance." Kate said and yawned.
"Are you sure about this Kate? I'd understand if you're having second thoughts." Jack said.
"No second thoughts Jack. Conner and I are going to become great friends. Think you can handle sharing your son with a friend that will no doubt grow to love him as much as she loves you Dr. Shephard?" Kate asked.
"It sounds too good to dare dream about." He admitted.
"I thought the same thing about you the first few days, but I don't have to pinch myself anymore. You're real." Kate said sweetly, gliding her open palm over his cheek.
He stopped her hand and held it for a moment, kissing it gently and the letting it drop back down to the mattress while still holding onto it. He leaned in and kissed her again, a deep emotional kiss that projected everything he was feeling. He pulled out of the kiss and looked at her as if he couldn't believe she was really there and that she was real.
"A few more minutes of this and I'll be late for work, very late." Jack said and kissed her again.
"Daddy, I'm really hungry." Conner whined from the doorway.
"Don't whine Conner. Come in and say good morning and we'll go downstairs and figure out what you want for breakfast." Jack told him.
Conner walked into the room, stopped and put his hand on his father's knee. He really liked Kate and he wanted to stay with her, but like all children, facing a new babysitter for the first time was a little intimidating.
"Morning Kate." Conner said quietly and Kate picked up on his apprehension.
"So do you have a whole day of fun things planned for me?" Kate asked.
"You are supposed to say what we can do." Conner told her.
"Why?" Kate asked.
"Cuz you are the babysitter and I have to do whatever you say." Conner told her.
"Babysitter? I thought we were friends Conner and friends decide fun stuff together. Are we not friends?" Kate asked and watched Conner's face brighten and his demeanor change instantly.
"You're the biggest friend I have." Conner chimed with a big smile on his face making both Jack and Kate laugh lightly.
"Well I guess that probably makes you the smallest friend I have." Kate said.
"We can really do anything I want?" Conner asked.
"Well, you have to follow the same rules your dad makes you follow and I'm here to make sure you make safe choices, but yeah we can do whatever you want and we're going to have fun I think." Kate said.
"Daddy, you can go to work now if you want to." Conner said making Jack chuckle.
"Thanks Conner, but I kind of wanted to make you some breakfast first. Come on, let's go eat while Kate wakes up." Jack said as he stood and picked Conner up.
"You want some breakfast too Kate? I think we are having pancakes." Conner said.
"Oh we are? You didn't ask me if I would make pancakes." Jack teased.
"Please daddy, the kind with the face." Conner pleaded in the tone he knew his dad had a hard time resisting.
"You know how to make smiley face pancakes? I think that is the most adorable thing I've learned about you to date." Kate said and wasn't teasing, but was truly impressed that this busy, no-nonsense man would take the time to learn how to make fun foods for his child.
"Adorable is good I trust?" Jack asked a little embarrassed as Kate moved out of the bed and stood in front of them.
"Adorable will get you just about anything you want." Kate said in a seductive tone.
"Do you want your pancakes to smile at you Kate?" Jack asked in an ornery tone.
"Of course I do. Give me 20 minutes and I'll be down." Kate answered.
Jack shook his head, amused and completely charmed by her. He shifted Conner on his hip and they left the room, closing the door behind them.
Jack enjoyed a quick breakfast with Conner and Kate, his pancakes minus the face, kissed them both goodbye and sat in his car in front of his house for a moment appreciating how strange, yet wonderful it was to experience leaving for work in such a normal manner.
Jack was busy updating a chart at the nurses' station when he caught a glimpse of his father out of the corner of his eye. He slammed the chart shut and approached him. Christian could see the rage in his son's eyes and body language and before Jack had a chance to open his mouth he pointed at door and followed Jack into the empty patient room. Jack turned on him immediately.
"If you ever threaten my son again you will be dead to me." Jack told him.
"Jack, I'm sure Conner made it sound worse than it actually was." Christian responded in his typical calm, condescending tone.
"Save it dad! I know better than anyone that every little manipulative thing you do to the people you are supposed to care about is always WORSE than it sounds." Jack snapped at him.
"Jack, I wasn't trying to hurt the child. We've got a very high profile case coming through this hospital and I can't have my best surgeon distracted over babysitting issues." Christian defended his actions.
"You hurt him dad and now he is worried that his grandpa was going to hate him. I've spent my entire life trying to earn your love and respect and was never good enough. Hell will freeze over before I will allow my son to go through that!" Jack yelled slamming the chart in his hand against Christian's chest.
"Jack, I'm your father." Christian replied.
"You say that as if it entitles you to something, as if I'm supposed to just take those three words and it mean something to me. You're my father, so what. Is that supposed to make everything that is wrong between us okay?" Jack asked.
"Let's not do this Jack. I'm on call with you today. We don't need to take this in into an operating room." Christian warned.
"No problem dad. Priorities. Right?" Jack said sarcastically and swung the door open angrily, causing it to hit the wall.
Christian watched his angry son leave the room and realized he'd just blown another opportunity to try to set things straight with him, to try to explain that "I'm your father" means that love is never in question, that what he does he does out of love, but didn't have the guts to bring it up. Knowing that he'd made huge mistakes with Jack and that Jack wouldn't hesitate to throw those mistakes in his face and that he couldn't stand to hear those things kept Christian from ever trying to make amends with his son.
Jack stood in front of the nurses station again looking through the chart of his young bus accident patient and looked up at the very young nurse on the other side of the counter.
"Has she not had any pain meds this morning?" Jack asked.
"I'm not sure Dr. Shephard, I just came on and haven't had a chance to read the night nurses notes." The nurse answered.
"Could you check for me? I need to go examine her and it's going to hurt so I'd like to know what I'm dealing with as far as her tolerance levels go." Jack asked aggravated over how dangerous it was not to update information like that immediately.
"Here are the notes if you'd like to check for yourself, I'll update the charts when I get a chance." The nurse snapped at him and tossed the clipboard toward him.
"You've not been here very long (looks at her name tag) Shelly so I'm going to give you a piece of advice. I'm a nice guy and don't make a habit of treating the nurses like second class citizens, but you talk to some of these other doctors like you just talked to me and you'll probably find yourself unemployed." Jack said his tone quiet and calm.
"I'm sorry, of course. What's her name?" Shelly asked fighting back her tears and wiping away the one that escaped.
"Another piece of advice Shelly. If I can make you cry that easily you aren't going to last." Jack said.
"No, it's not you. It's just been a bad morning. Someone I thought cared about me, well let's just say he didn't. I'm sorry, I'm being very unprofessional." Shelly confided in him.
Christian approached the desk and stood beside Jack. Jack looked up and noticed the tension between his father and the young nurse, the way they were looking at one another, the way his father was giving her his patented "keep your mouth shut" look and he wasn't sure whether to feel angry, sad, disgusted or outright pity for this young woman who'd obviously added her name to the long list of Christian Shephard's conquests. Jack looked at his father.
"What?" Christian asked.
"Nothing. I've got patients to see. Can you get me that information please." Jack said to the nurse.
The nurse gave him the information he needed and Jack walked away shaking his head and wondering how much longer he could continue to work in the same hospital as his father.
Meanwhile………..
Kate straightened up the mess in the kitchen even though Jack insisted she leave it and enjoy the day. Conner had gone upstairs to dress. She walked into the living room and found him sitting on the couch watching cartoons. She sat beside him, grabbed the remote and turned the cartoons off.
"Sorry bud, your dad said you're only allowed to be glued to the 'idiot box' if there are no other options. It's a nice day, how about you show me your backyard." Kate offered.
"What's a idiot box?" Conner asked making Kate smile.
"I think that's your dad's way of saying too much television will make you stupid." Kate answered.
"I have a paint house outside. Come see." Conner said taking her by the hand and leading her toward the door that led to the backyard.
Kate hadn't really been out to take in the view in the back and was amazed at how it seemed to have everything a man and five year old boy could want. There was a large outdoor grill, a covered patio with comfortable padded furniture, a hammock and a hot tub, but none of the items looked like they got much use. Beyond the patio was plush green grass, some beautiful trees, a play house type structure and a swing set made of wood with lots of ropes and ladders and interesting tunnels and hiding places for an adventurous boy.
"What? No swimming pool?" Kate asked the sarcasm lost on the small child.
"Daddy won't get one until I'm a good swimmer." Conner said.
He held to Kate's hand and led her to the playhouse. Inside there were paints, water colors, drawing pads and markers and an easel.
"You really like to draw don't you?" Kate asked as she looked at all the pictures the child had plastering the walls of the structure.
"I like to paint more, but daddy makes me do it out here because one time I spilled some paints all over the carpet." Conner explained.
Kate giggled a little at another sign of Jack's anal neatness freak side.
"I'm sure you didn't mean to spill the paints." Kate offered.
"Daddy didn't yell, he just said I couldn't do in the house no more until I get bigger. He's going to make a whole room just for me to paint if I still like it when I'm bigger." Conner beamed.
"You want to paint a picture together?" Kate asked.
"Can you paint pictures?" Conner asked.
"Sure. Maybe not as good as yours, but I still like to do it." Kate said.
They painted their pictures together and set them aside to dry. Kate painted a picture of some flowers and Conner painted a picture of a dog. She looked around the structure and noticed there were a lot of pictures of dogs, a very specific dog with brown fur with some black spots.
"I guess you want a dog?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, but we aren't never home and dad says it would get lonely." Conner said.
"He's probably right." Kate said.
"Kate, are you going to live here now?" Conner asked.
"Maybe, would you like it if I lived here?" Kate asked.
"If you lived here could we always stay home when my dad goes to work?" Conner asked.
"Sweetie I can't promise you things like that." Kate told him.
"Are you going to get married to my dad?" Conner asked.
Kate felt cornered on top of an overwhelming sense of guilt. She immediately felt sympathy for this seemingly lonely child who wanted nothing more than to just have a stable home life and she didn't want to get his hopes up when she had no way of knowing where her relationship with Jack would go.
"Honey I don't know." Kate finally answered him.
"Why? You love him don't you?" Conner asked.
"You're too young to understand love Conner and why it's more complicated than that." Kate offered.
"My dad kisses you a lot. He never kissed a lady before except my mom. I seen pictures of them kissing. My dad must love you like he loved my mommy." Conner explained, the child's innocent assessment of the situation making Kate smile.
"You've never seen your dad kiss anyone before me?" Kate asked.
"Nope. He was really sad Kate and now he's not. I think you should marry him." Conner told her.
"What about me and you Conner? Don't you think we need to find out if you're going to like me as much as your dad does?" Kate asked.
Conner moved closer to Kate. He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her.
"I like you Kate. I think TJ was lucky to have such a nice mommy." Conner answered.
Kate choked back the lump in her throat and the tears that were trying to form. She pulled Conner into her lap and hugged him.
"I like you too Conner. You are the sweetest little boy I've ever met and you are too smart about people to just be five years old. I think you have what people refer to as an old soul." Kate told him.
"I'm almost six Kate." Conner reminded her making her laugh lightly.
Kate and Conner spent the next few hours playing and talking. Kate fixed him some lunch and lay on the couch with him watching one of his favorite movies in accordance with Jack's desire that Conner at least rest quietly after lunch so he wouldn't be miserable tired and impossible to deal with later in the evening. Conner knew this was the routine and didn't question it or fuss about it.
He fell asleep about 20 minutes into the movie. Kate lay beside him, lightly stroking his soft hair and enjoying that he smelled a little like a puppy after being outside all morning. She would've happily traded the smell of a child that had been out playing and sweating and having fun over the constant smell of antiseptic that came from caring for a critically ill child and the heartache that goes along with that smell. However, it didn't occur to her to feel bitter about it, but somehow blessed that this sweet, gentle little boy seemed to need her so much. Her cell phone began vibrating and she looked at it. It was Jack and she had to giggle at how happy and giddy she felt as she anticipated hearing his voice.
"You are in so deep Kate." Kate chuckled and answered the phone.
"Hey sexy." Kate chimed happily into the phone noting his light laugh on the other end.
"Hey yourself. How's it going? Is he driving you crazy with questions yet?" Jack asked.
"No, he's great Jack and he's sleeping at the moment." Kate answered the warmth she had in her voice for his son not lost on him.
"He must feel pretty safe and secure if actually relaxed enough to sleep." Jack told her.
"Aw thanks, I hope so. We had some fun conversations this morning that I can't wait to share with you so when are you coming home?" She asked.
"They just brought a stabbing victim into the ER. I'm getting ready to scrub in and by the looks of the x-rays I'll be up to my elbows in bowel for a few hours." Jack sighed.
"Well that's a rather disgusting visual Jack." Kate laughed lightly.
"Sorry. Um…I think I should be home by six or seven though so maybe we can all go out to dinner together." Jack offered.
"Sounds like fun, but I won't say anything to Conner about it in case you get tied up." Kate said.
"I hope that doesn't happen. I'm going to try really hard not to let it happen, but I will call you if it does, I promise." Jack said.
"That's fine Jack and we're fine so carry on with your doctor duties and don't worry about your son." Kate ordered.
"He's not the only one I'm worried about." Jack admitted.
"I know. You're sweet. That's why I've fallen so hard for you." Kate said sweetly.
"Here I thought it was the back rubs that sealed the deal." Jack teased.
"Those haven't hurt your cause believe me." Kate giggled.
"Good. Look forward to being pampered later." Jack promised.
"Not necessary. Seeing your handsome face and gorgeous body is all I need, besides maybe I'd like to pamper you for a change." Kate said in a sexy tone.
"I think I better hang up now, a few more minutes of this and I'll have to take a cold shower before I scrub in and I don't think my patient can wait, so I'll see you tonight. Tell Conner I said hi." Jack said.
"I will." Kate said.
"Bye Kate……..I love you." Jack said and before Kate had a chance to respond clicked his phone off.
Kate allowed herself to relax beside Conner and when they both awoke about an hour later, they enjoyed a sunny afternoon in the backyard. Kate sat on the patio and watched Conner climb all over the wooden swing set and read a book. She heard him call out and looked up. He was standing on top of the jungle gym holding onto a tree branch above his head.
"Conner get down, you're going to fall." Kate warned.
"Dad lets me do this." Conner argued.
"Well I'm not your dad and you are making me nervous so please climb down. Okay?" Kate told him.
"Watch this Kate!" Conner screamed right before he jumped from where he was standing.
Kate nearly screamed at the sight of him flinging himself from the contraption and then breathed a sigh of relief when he hit the ground and then rolled around giggling because he knew he'd scared her.
"I see that you've definitely got an ornery side." Kate said and then laughed at herself.
She watched him brush the grass and dirt from the knees of his jeans and then run back to the rope ladder to climb back up so he could do it again. Just as he neared the top his foot slipped on one of the ladder's rungs and he fell backwards, his head smacking the side of the contraption hard on the way down, his body landing with a sick thud on the ground followed quickly by the blood curdling screams of a child in a great deal of pain.
Kate ran to Conner who was curled up in a ball holding his arm, blood flowing from the side of his head and crying for his daddy. She picked him up and carried him into the house, grabbed a towel for his head and ran out of the house with him screaming and cradled in her arms, the blood from his head all over the front of her shirt. She ran next door and knocked frantically on their door. A young man who couldn't have been more than 20 years old answered the door.
"Please I need your help. I need to take him to the hospital and I need someone to hold him while I drive." Kate pleaded.
"Is that Jack's kid?" The man asked.
"Yes, please can you help me?" Kate asked.
"Yes, of course, come on I'll drive you." He offered.
The young man drove them to the hospital where Jack worked and dropped them off at the ER. Kate thanked him and ran inside with the crying, bleeding child. She immediately began demanding they find Jack and once they realized whose son the demanding woman was holding they took him into an examining room, did a quick assessment of his injuries and sent a nurse up to the surgery suites to let Jack know he was there and what was wrong with him.
"I want my daddy!" Conner screamed as they tried to hold his head down to look at the wound.
"It's okay baby, they are going to go find your daddy. Let them look at your cut sweetie." Kate tried to soothe him.
"No! Daddy! Where's daddy?!" Conner screamed.
"Conner it's going to be okay. Hold my hand and don't let go and think about something that makes you happy." Kate coaxed in a sweet, calm, gentle tone and took hold of the hand that wasn't attached to the arm that was injured.
While Kate continued to try to soothe the little boy the nurse entered the surgery suite. Jack glanced up for a moment and then back down at what he was doing.
"Dr. Shephard a woman just brought your son into the emergency room." She said.
Jack had to quickly suppress the natural urge to panic and remain focused on the patient whose life he currently held in his hands.
"What happened?" Jack asked.
"He fell and has a pretty bad cut on his head and the ER doctor's best guess is a broken wrist. He's crying, asking for you." She said.
"But he's okay, nothing life threatening?" Jack asked trying to stay focused, his heart telling him one thing and his mind another.
"Yes, Dr. Shephard, he's scared and in some pain, but nothing serious." She told him.
"Tell them to treat him and I'll be there as soon as I'm finished here." Jack finally spat out, angry and torn.
Jack's father entered the surgery suite about 2 hours later. He assessed the patient to see where Jack was in the procedure and took his place beside Jack.
"What?" Jack asked.
"I can finish this. You need to take your son home." Christian said.
"You saw him? Is he okay?" Jack asked.
"He was hysterical. I authorized a mild sedative so they could do their jobs." Christian told him.
"You let them drug my son just to calm him down?" Jack asked.
"No Jack, I let them drug my grandson because he's got a nasty break in his wrist that would've been too painful to set without sedation. You should go Jack, your girlfriend looks like she could use some sedation." Christian said with just a hint of sarcasm.
Jack stopped and backed away from the operating table. Kate. In his attempt to focus on his patient he'd completely forgotten what dealing with Conner's situation must've been like for her. Now that he no longer had someone's life in his hands he could allow the situation to impact him, to hurt him, to make him angry and to fill him with regret. His emotional transformation was so obvious one of the surgical nurses went to him to make sure he was okay. He shook her off and slammed out of the surgical suite.
Jack removed everything but his scrubs and took the stairs down to the ER. He entered the room. Conner was sleeping, a large blood stained bandaged on the left side of his head and face and a full arm cast and sling covering his left arm. He walked to the exam table and glanced over at Kate who was sitting in the corner of the room. He could tell she was ticking. He kissed Conner on the forehead and walked over to where Kate was sitting. He kneeled down in front of her and attempted to take hold of her hands. She jerked away from him immediately, his contact snapping her out of the daze she was in.
"Kate, I'm sorry." Jack apologized.
"You're sorry? Where the hell were you Jack?!" Kate asked her voice shrill, almost crazed.
"I was in the middle of a surgical procedure Kate, I couldn't just drop everything and run down here, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to." He said softly, calmly trying to gauge just how worked up she was.
"I don't know what happened. One minute he was climbing his rope ladder and then he was lying on the ground screaming and crying. He just slipped and I was on the patio and wasn't there to catch him. I'm sorry. You trusted me with your son and I let him get hurt." Kate explained her anger suddenly gone, replaced by remorse and Jack grew concerned, wondering what the ordeal had done to her emotionally. He gently took hold of her hands and made her look at him.
"Hey, don't you dare blame yourself for this. I don't stand beside him every moment to catch him if he falls and I wouldn't expect you to either." Jack said sternly, seeing the fresh tears fall down her cheeks.
He stood and pulled her up with him, pulling her into his chest to comfort her. She shook and cried and he knew how incredibly traumatized she was, how this had brought up painful memories that hadn't had a chance to get buried very deep and he couldn't decide who he felt the most guilt over, his son who was scared and needed his father or the woman he loved who needed him to protect her from watching another child hurt and suffer.
"I'm so sorry you had to deal with this Kate." He apologized.
She pulled back from him angry again, staring him down, ready to strike and he stood and waited for it, welcomed it, because he knew he'd failed his son………..again and this time dragged another person he loved into it.
"How could you Jack? He was crying hysterically for you. He was so scared and hurting and all he wanted and needed was his father and you never came, you left me here to keep lying to him and promising him you'd come and you never did! I couldn't do anything to help him. God damn you Jack!" She screamed and punched at his chest, all of her anger and trauma coming out and he let her hit him knowing she could never inflict enough pain to match the guilt he was experiencing.
He finally wrapped his arms around her and held her and let her cry and felt a little relieved when she finally relaxed some and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest, settling down and allowing him to be strong, to be there for them like she believed he should've been hours ago.
"Is he going to be okay Jack? There was so much blood." Kate asked, staying close to him not willing to pull her face away from his chest yet.
"Head injuries are typically very bloody, but he's going to be okay, he just needs some rest and time to heal." Jack said.
Jack signed all the appropriate forms, picked his son up and carried him out of the hospital. Kate insisted on sitting in the back seat so she could hold him until they got home. Once home he carried Conner into house and put him on the smaller couch in the family room.
"Will you sit with him while I go get him a pillow and blanket and his pajamas?" Jack asked.
"You stay, I'll do it." Kate said and headed up the stairs before he had a chance to object.
She returned with the items and put the pillow under his head while Jack held him up. He laid him back on the pillow and started pulling his dirty, blood-stained jeans off of him.
"Would you mind grabbing an ice pack out of the freezer and the scissors? I'm just going to cut his shirt off of him, I don't think the blood would ever come out of it anyway." Jack said.
Kate retrieved the items along with a bowl of warm soapy water. Jack looked at the large bowl of water and the towel and nodded.
"I guess he does need to be cleaned up some. Thanks." Jack said as he cut his shirt away, the boy stripped down to his character underwear.
Kate noticed that the fact that his little boy had 14 stitches in his head and a broken arm and was small and hurt and helpless was starting to register for Jack and take its toll on him emotionally as he became quieter and quieter. She watched him awkwardly attempt to give his son a sponge bath and finally grabbed his arm.
"Let me help you with that." She said.
He didn't argue. He stood and let her take his place and watched her expertly and quickly clean him up, having entirely too much experience with this sort of thing. She slipped his pajama bottoms on and they both decided he didn't need a shirt. Jack placed a throw pillow on Conner's stomach and let the bended half of the cast covered arm rest on the pillow. He placed the ice pack over the area where the break was and covered him with a blanket.
They took turns watching over him while the other disappeared upstairs to take a shower and Kate listened while he argued with his father about why he wouldn't be able to be on call the next day, an argument that Jack ended up winning, which made Kate smile. Conner woke later in quite a bit of pain and Jack convinced him to eat by agreeing to buy him a kid's meal from a nearby fast food restaurant. He ate and took the pain medicine his dad gave him and by 9 PM was sound asleep again.
Jack lay on the couch with his back against the back of the couch and Kate's back snuggled into his chest. He kept a protective arm over her and they both stared through the television, each deep in their thoughts. She finally turned around to face him. He looked at her and smiled a little. She kissed him and then snuggled into his chest, nearly sighing at the feeling of his arm wrapping over her.
"God you feel good." He sighed.
"Yeah so do you." Kate replied.
"My son has had a rough few days. (Pause) Hell, who am I kidding, he's had a rough five years and I let him down again today Kate and I let you down too and I'm sorry." Jack admitted.
"Yes you did let him down and you're going to have to make it up to him, make him understand what small children shouldn't be expected to understand so I'm glad you stood up to your father and that you're going to be here with him tomorrow." Kate said, cutting him no slack and even though it hurt to hear the truth, he appreciated that she was willing to be honest with him about her feelings.
"You're right Kate. I should've had them page a surgeon in the hospital. It was a pretty routine procedure that didn't require my particular specialty." Jack admitted.
"So why Jack? Why would, no how could you not be there for him?" Kate asked.
"I have no excuses Kate. I screwed up." Jack said.
"That's not good enough Jack and I'll be honest and tell you that I'm not sure I can be in a relationship with a man that could do what you did today. I love you Jack, but I'm not sure it's enough to make we want to do this." Kate admitted.
Jack didn't respond, but chose to shut down instead, shutting off his emotions and quietly cursing himself for allowing himself to love her, convinced that he'd lost her and not sure if he had the desire to fight to get her back.
"I'm going to sleep down here with him. He's probably going to have a rough night." Jack said.
"I'm going to sleep down here with you. We'll get him through it together." Kate said.
"You don't have to." Jack said.
"I want to." Kate said.
"I don't want you to." Jack told her, his attempt at being cold to her failing, but the hurt he was trying to protect himself from coming through loud and clear.
"Jack, I wasn't trying to hurt you and honestly I don't have anything left right now to do this with you. What you did today is incomprehensible to me and if I can't voice my concerns about whether or not I could continue to deal with a lifetime of situations like today without you shutting down on me then maybe this isn't going to work. I'm going to go upstairs and go to sleep. Goodnight." Kate said flatly as she sat up kissed him gently on the mouth and made her way toward the stairs.
He didn't say anything, didn't try to stop her and didn't deny that maybe they had made a mistake. He simply reached up and turned the lamp on the table beside the couch off, pulled a blanket over himself and laid his head on the pillow.