Thanks again for your reviews and try to put that icky jealousy skex from last week out of your heads. Is it me or do sex scenes between Skate leave you with that not so fresh feeling, an undeniable need to take a shower and not a cold one, but a hot, steamy, can't get the grunge off quick enough variety. I've been really busy, but finally managed to update and hope to update again within a few days. I hope you enjoy and thanks for sticking with it.
Nearly a month had passed since Conner's accident and they had managed to settle into a somewhat normal routine. Kate continued to learn how to deal with the loss of her son while falling head over heels in love with Jack's son, the two of them growing closer every day. Jack fell into a normal work routine, some days longer than others. His decision to take part in the separation of the twins would begin to consume more and more of his time as the surgery date neared, but he and Kate discussed the possibility that they wouldn't see him much the week prior to the separation and she was okay with carrying the load for him that week.
Jack had taken the day off. Conner was going to have his full cast cut away and replaced with a smaller cast that went ¾ of the way up his forearm. Jack awoke early that morning and did some work in his office until Conner came through the door somewhat whiney and demanding all of his attention. He'd been acting out the night before and Jack had attributed it to being tired, but apparently that wasn't the case. They had breakfast together while Kate slept in. She hadn't been feeling well so they did their best not to disturb her.
"Daddy can we go look at bikes after the doctor?" Conner asked.
"Bikes? Why would we want to look at bikes?" Jack teased.
"For my birthday. It's not too far now and you promised I could have a big bike." Conner reminded him.
"Conner, you've shown me which bike you want at least ten times. I won't forget. I promise." Jack told him.
"What if they're all gone before you go get it?" Conner protested not willing to drop the subject.
"Don't worry son, they won't run out of bikes." Jack assured him knowing he had bought the bike a couple of weeks ago and stashed it in the garage.
"Can we please just go and see if it's still there." Conner pushed, his whiney tone starting to get on Jack's last nerve.
"No, not today." Jack answered firmly.
"But why?" Conner whined louder.
"Because Kate isn't feeling well and we need to come home and take care of her." Jack told him.
"No fair. I don't want to take care of Kate. I want to play with you." Conner pouted.
"Don't be selfish son. We can do both." Jack said sternly not pleased with his son's bratty attitude.
"What's selfish?" Conner asked.
"Selfish is when you only think about what you want and not about other people's feelings. Do you want Kate to feel sad?" Jack asked.
"I don't care." Conner grumbled.
"You don't huh? Maybe you need to spend some time in your bedroom figuring out why you should care. Is that what you want to do?" Jack warned.
"I don't care." Conner grumbled again.
"Okay, you are obviously still out of sorts today. Go upstairs and brush your teeth and put your shoes on. It's time to go to the doctor." Jack said.
"No. If we can't go look at bikes I'm not going to the doctor." Conner told him, folding his arms across his chest and refusing to move out of his chair.
"Conner, upstairs now or you're going to be in trouble." Jack ordered in his sternest father voice.
"Make me." Conner challenged.
Jack was becoming angry, but was also perplexed over the way his son was behaving. This was new territory for him as a parent as his son had never been down right defiant before and Jack couldn't imagine where the behavior was coming from. He sighed heavily, stood and picked Conner up. Conner went limp, refusing to cooperate.
"If you didn't have a doctor's appointment in 25 minutes you would be in so much trouble son." Jack told him.
Jack carried him up the stairs, brushed his teeth and put his shoes on him. Conner refused to walk so he picked him up again and carried him into his bedroom so he could tell Kate they were leaving. He set Conner on the foot of the bed and leaned in, kissing her gently. She opened her eyes, confused for a moment and then recognizing him.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey yourself sleepy head. I'm taking Conner to the doctor. Can I bring you anything back?" Jack asked.
"From the doctor?" Kate asked.
"Uh no, I thought you might want some lunch or something." Jack chuckled.
"No thanks. Good luck Conner. I can't wait to sign your new cast." Kate told the pouting child.
"You can't sign it." Conner said hatefully.
"Conner." Jack scolded.
"It's okay Jack. He's been upset with me since I picked him up from school yesterday. Maybe you can figure out why." Kate suggested.
"Okay, I'll try. We better go. Call me if you need anything." Jack said and kissed her again.
Jack carried Conner out of the bedroom and out of the house. The child never cooperated the entire time and by the time they finished getting fresh x-rays and a fresh cast with Conner fighting him the entire way, Jack was ready to find a bar and drink, but instead took his son home, fed him lunch he refused to eat and sent him to his room with orders not to come out until he's told he can.
Jack walked down the hallway to check on Kate. She was awake, dressed and laying on the bed curled up in the fetal position. He sat beside her and rubbed his hand over her lower back and hip.
"Are you still not feeling well?" He asked.
"I'm feeling a little better. I have a bit of a headache so I'm just being lazy." Kate said.
"Maybe you can help me figure out what to do with Conner while you're being lazy." Jack said as he stood and walked toward the bathroom.
"Is he still acting mad?" Kate asked.
"Mad? He's acting like a brat, refusing to cooperate with anything I ask him to do. It was embarrassing to say the least." Jack told her from the bathroom.
"Maybe he's feeling confused about us." Kate suggested.
Kate heard the toilet flush and waited for him to respond. When he didn't she turned to look toward the bathroom door. He was standing at the foot of the bed holding the stick she'd peed on earlier in his hand. She'd just tossed it into the trash can in the bathroom, making no attempt to hide it from him.
"What's this?" He asked.
"You're a doctor Jack, what's it look like?" Kate said sarcastically.
"Obviously I know it's a pregnancy test Kate, but I thought you were on the pill is what I meant." Jack said his tone calm, not accusatory.
"I was. I am." Kate said.
"Kate this test is positive. Did you forget to take them or were you not on them for very long?" He asked still calm, more concerned about her than the fact that she was pregnant.
"I've been taking those pills since TJ was 6 weeks old and I have never missed a day until that day at the cabin. I was too upset and then too drugged to remember. I swear Jack I did not do this on purpose. I do not want this any more than you do." Kate told him and let go of the tears she was holding back.
He walked over to her, set the stick on the nightstand and rubbed his hand over her back.
"I doubt that missing one day would've, I mean odds are you were going to get pregnant whether you'd missed that one day or not. I guess we're just that lucky minute percentage." Jack told her.
"How can you be so calm?" Kate asked.
"I don't know. It's not like freaking out is going to change anything." Jack said.
"Jack, I cannot have a baby right now. I do not want a baby. We have to terminate it." Kate said stunning him for a moment.
"Can we talk about it first? Think about it for a few days before we make a decision like that?" Jack asked.
"What is this we stuff Jack? It's me. It's my body. I can't Jack. I just spent the last two years of my life watching my child die a horrible death and I can't love another baby right now." Kate told him crying and starting to get a little hysterical.
He lay down behind her, spooning his body around hers, wrapping his arms tightly around her.
"It's going to be okay babe. I'm here and I'll go along with whatever you want. I just want you to take a few days to make the decision. Okay?" He coaxed.
"This is crazy Jack. Why can't anything in my life ever be normal or easy? Nobody gets pregnant on the pill right? Why is this happening to me?" Kate sobbed.
"This isn't my area of expertise Kate, but women do get pregnant on the pill, not very often, but it happens." Jack said.
"I love you Jack and I don't want to hurt you, but I can't have this baby. I'm sorry, I can't even think about it. I already made an appointment to terminate it, day after tomorrow. Will you take me?" Kate asked.
The information was coming almost too fast for Jack to absorb it. She was ready to kill his baby without even considering his feelings on the matter.
"Of course I'll be with you Kate if this is what you really want." He said trying to hide his feelings and failing miserably.
"Jack, you can't want this. You may think you do, but we're still trying to figure each other out and hell right now you've got a five year old completely bent out of shape and it's most likely over us. Do you really want to complicate things even more by adding a baby to the mix?" Kate asked.
"I've know about this for 10 minutes Kate. I have no idea what I want, but it would've been nice to have a say in the matter, a chance to absorb it, to decide with you instead of just being informed that you're going to kill my baby and I need to be okay with that." Jack snapped unable to suck up the hurt for her benefit any longer.
"I knew you'd be like this, that's why I made the decision on my own. You can't force me to have a baby I don't want Jack!" Kate yelled.
Before Jack had a chance to respond his cell phone went off. He cursed loudly and pulled it out of his pocket to see who was calling. It was Conner's teacher. He took the call and listened intently, not offering much in response. Kate heard him tell the person he'd talk to Conner and then he hung up the phone.
"Well, at least the mystery of what crawled up Conner's ass has been solved." Jack sighed and lay back onto the pillows, flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"Who was that?" Kate asked.
"His teacher. She said he got upset yesterday and when he didn't come to school today she got worried. She was calling to make sure he was okay." Jack said.
"Did she say why he was upset?" Kate asked.
"Yeah, it's just kid's stuff. You know how some kids can be meaner than others. I'll go talk to him. He'll be fine." Jack lied, not wanting to upset her any further.
"Are you going to hate me for this Jack?" Kate asked.
He rolled onto his side and looked down at her. He kissed her gently and pulled back again.
"I could never hate you and I would never consider trying to force you to have a baby. I'm going to go talk to Conner." Jack said as he kissed her once more and scooted off the bed.
Kate watched him walk out of the room. She felt guilty. He'd been nothing but sweet and supportive since the day she'd met him and she'd completely shut him out, refused to care about his feelings on the matter and refused to accept that she had life growing inside of her, a part of him, a part of both of them, life created when the odds said it shouldn't have been. She couldn't let herself think about those things, let herself humanize the situation because then she'd have a choice to make and right now it wasn't a choice, it was just something that had to be done, like swallowing a bitter pill, do it fast and get it over with.
She knew he wasn't being honest about Conner though and she suspected that whatever was eating at him had something to do with her. She scooted off the bed and walked down the hallway to Conner's bedroom and stood just outside the door, listening to Jack try to get the child to talk to him.
Jack sat on the bed and sat Conner up, propping his back against the pillows. He was still refusing to cooperate with his father so it was like trying to move a heavy rag doll around, him lying back down as soon as Jack would sit him up.
"I want you to stop this right now Conner. I mean it. Sit up right now or you are going to get punished like you've never been punished before." Jack scolded him in a tone Conner didn't recognize and was unsure of so he did as he was told and sat up.
"Did you hide a note from your teacher Conner?" Jack asked in a non-threatening tone.
"It's just dumb stuff daddy." Conner mumbled.
"Can I see it?" Jack asked.
"No." Conner answered.
"Why not?" Jack asked.
"You'll get mad." Conner said.
"Why would I get mad?" Jack asked.
"Cuz of Kate." Conner said.
"Conner, please show daddy the note. I promise I won't get mad." Jack pleaded with the child.
Conner reached under his pillows and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. Jack straightened it out and read the large header across the top "INVITE YOUR MOM TO LUNCH".
"Conner, I wish when things like this come up you would talk to me. I can't help you if I don't know what is bothering you." Jack said, his tone sympathetic.
"You can't help." Conner protested, his bottom lip puckering.
Kate could tell the child was just about in tears and wondered what the note said.
"I can come eat lunch with you tomorrow Conner." Jack offered.
"No daddy! It's for moms!" Conner yelled, grabbing the note out of his hand and tearing it up.
Jack picked him up and hugged him and let him cry, knowing there was more going on than him not having a mom to eat lunch with. He sat him in his lap and tilted his chin up, making him look at him, his sad, tear-filled brown eyes getting to him and sending any plans for punishment out the window.
"Conner, why didn't you just ask Kate to go with you? I know she's not your mom, but I bet she would've said yes." Jack reasoned.
"I was, but Tony said that's stupid." Conner explained as he tried to get his tears under control.
"Tony said asking Kate to eat lunch with you was stupid?" Jack asked.
"No daddy! I'm stupid!" Conner yelled still upset and starting to cry again.
Jack hugged him closer to him and kissed the top of his head, trying to calm him down.
"Who said you were stupid Conner?" Jack asked.
"Tony." Conner sniffled.
"Why?" Jack asked.
"Are you going to get married to Kate daddy?" Conner asked as serious as a five year old could be.
"I don't know Conner. Why?" Jack asked.
"Would Kate be my mom if you got married to her?" Conner asked.
"She would be your step mom." Jack answered.
"No! I don't want a step mom! I want a real mom!" Conner cried.
"Conner, it wouldn't matter whether Kate was your real mom or your step mom, she'd still love you the same." Jack reasoned.
"No she won't. Tony said step moms are mean. He said she won't let me call her mom and you will have new kids and you guys won't love me like you love them." Conner screamed as upset as Jack had ever seen him.
"Hey buddy, I want you to try to calm down okay? None of that is true. I love you more than anything and if I have more kids I'll love them too, but not any more or any less than I love you. You are too young to be worrying about this stuff, much less trying to understand it so I want you to make me a promise." Jack said.
"What?" Conner sniffled.
"Promise me that you will trust that daddy will always love you and that I would never marry any woman that would be mean to you." Jack said.
"But daddy, Tony said that's what happens. He said Kate won't never be my mom and that I was stupid if I ask her to come eat with me. He said you guys will have new kids and you won't like me anymore. He said Kate is only nice to me now cuz she wants to get married to you and she'll be mean to me and not like me anymore after you get married." Conner explained.
"It's not true Conner, I promise. Kate loves you." Jack tried to convince him.
"Then why did Tony say it?" Conner asked.
Kate stood in the hallway torn between running in to reassure him and running away from all of it. However, the idea that this school bully terrorized him into believing she was a gold digging bitch that would make his young life miserable made her feel concern for Tony who must be living in less than favorable conditions to know about the things he was filling Conner's head with. She stepped into the bedroom. Jack looked up at her and Conner turned his face away, burying it Jack's chest. Kate kneeled down in front of Jack and put her hand on Conner's shoulder.
"Conner look at me please." Kate said.
"No! Go away!" Conner yelled.
"Sweetie, those things Tony told you are true." Kate told him.
Jack gave her a puzzled look and Conner turned his head around to look at her.
"They are?" Conner asked his bottom lip puckering again.
"They are probably true for Tony honey and that is very sad, but just because it's true for Tony doesn't meant it's true for us, all families are different." Kate told him.
"I'm scared it is true for us." Conner said
"Well those are scary things to think about which is why you should listen to your dad and trust that he would never let those scary things happen to you. You should also trust that I love you very much and would never be mean to you." Kate said.
Conner sat cuddled in Jack's lap looking at Kate with his soft, sad brown eyes, eyes that would break hearts some day. She could tell he wanted to ask her something, but was afraid or unsure. She looked at Jack and then back at Conner.
"Kate?" Conner said so softly she barely heard him.
"What is it sweetie?" Kate asked.
"Do you want to be my mom?" Conner asked.
Kate wasn't sure what she was expecting Conner to ask, but she wasn't expecting to be put on the spot. She looked at Jack for some kind of sign or hint or anything that would tell her how he wanted her to answer this question, but all she got from him was a set of questioning eyes. If she had time to be angry she would've been angry at Jack for not speaking up, for hanging her out to dry, for making her decide right then in there what it was exactly she wanted from this situation and from their relationship. She had to give the child an honest answer to his perfectly fair and honest question and it was apparent that Jack wasn't going to help her out because he too wanted to know the answer to Conner's question.