Thank you to every one who reviewed. I really mean it when I say that I love you guys. Chapter 9 commin' up!

Three weeks later. . .

Three weeks. For three weeks Harrison and I have avoided each other. Three dang weeks. Every time we saw each other, we bowed our heads and avoided each others gaze. I blushed every time I saw him and stuttered whenever I was forced to communicate with him. I don't know what I'm so afraid of! Oh yeah! Maybe the small chance that he might not feel the same way and that he will totally take my heart and rip it in to teeny tiny shreds just like he did to my bloody blouse when I called him a moron for making me scrub the deck twice.

I'm just too afraid of rejection. Too afraid of love. If I walked in to a room, and Harrison was there already, I would turn on my heel and march out. Talk about pathetic.

On this particular morning, I was in my room, folding and putting away my freshly clean clothes. I was, to my dismay, wearing a dress. I hate dresses. This one was the only one that I had brought on the Pearl. A pale blue one with white trim. Nothing fancy. Just a simple design But I had realized that since I had fallen for Harrison, I cared just a little more about what I looked like. I had even taken my bandanna out of my hair for the first time in over a month and pulled my hair up in as fancy of a do as can be done while on a pirate ship.

I inspected the rip in my white cotton shirt when I heard a slight knock on my door. I muttered a 'come in' not really paying attention. I didn't look up when the wooden door opened and the person walked in. When said person cleared their throat, I was startled. I whipped my head up, pulling something in my neck.

When I regained my composure, I looked up to face the intruder. All the breath left my chest when I saw who was standing in my door. Hat held in his hands. Nervous expression on his face, was Harrison Gibbs.

I felt like I was choking. I couldn't breathe. What was he doing. He had released me from my position under him. He hadn't spoken to me in weeks!

Harrison looked equally as nervous. There was an awkward silence for about a minute. The two of us were just standing there, I felt like an idiot. Finally I found my tongue.

"Do you have something you wish to speak with me about?" I asked, folding my hands over my chest, which was, at this point, swing dancing with my spleen.

I tried to have a stern look on my face, but it was hard. Harrison looked so scared, so forlorn. Kind of like a lost puppy of sorts.

"Well, uh… I, I-I- I would like to apologize." he said, blurting out the last phrase and breathing heavily as if he had been holding his breath for an obscenely long amount of time.

For a moment I was shocked. In the whole week that I had been under Harrison's rule, I had never once heard him apologize. Not to anyone. Even after I had been released from my "contract" not once had I heard the words "I'm Sorry" escape his lips. Why wouldn't I be surprised. But then I felt something else. A feeling I had only ever felt when I was near Harrison, when my hand accidentally brushed up against his. A tingly rush that runs up your spine and spreads all over your body. The kind of feeling that made me want to look nice in the morning. And the feeling that was drowning me as Harrison and I locked eyes for the first time in weeks.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, but Harrison continued.

"My actions in the er, store room were rash. I came to beg your forgiveness. I never meant to hurt you, It's jus that, well," He stopped, fiddling with his hat, trying to buy time. I wanted so badly to hear him say that he loved me, so badly wanted him to sweep me off my feet and allow me to kiss his brow. But I was also scared. If he felt a rush up his spine when I touched him. And if he also Felt light-headed when I spoke to him, Then that meant that I had myself in the middle of a relationship. As I've said before, my parents are not exactly the perfect examples for the ideal perfect relationship. I didn't want to end up like my mother. That was my worst fear. Having one relationship would lead to more. Nothing good lasts forever, famous words spoken to a five year old Briar by a drunken mother. Ever since I had been able to walk, I had been exploring the streets of Tortuga. And in Tortuga no one even knows the meaning of the word, relationship, or faithful. I didn't want to end up like that. That is not what I want my life to be. I wanted to make more of myself. I was independent. A loner. I don't need anyone else. But then why do I feel the happiest when Harrison looks at me. I can't explain my feelings, but I do know that I will never be in love, ever.

I gathered my composure and broke up the cha-cha between my spleen and heart before turning to Harrison.

"Yes? You were saying?" my face was stern. I could tell that Harrison was really struggling with what he wanted to tell me. Finally he opened his mouth.

"Well, You see, It's. . . It's just that, well," He ran a hand along the back of his head. A bead of sweat dropped from his brow, seemingly in slow motion before hitting the wood floor and exploding into a million little droplet's.

Harrison looked up. Our eyes locking.

"I've fallen in love with you, Briar."

I momentarily felt as if my corset had been tightened to it's extent before I gathered some words in my messed up mind.

"Mr. Gibbs, Love is a stupid myth. I feel that your feelings and otherwise thoughts of me should be disposed of as soon as possible. I have no feelings for you other than an acquaintance on this ship, which will soon also be dis-continued as I am planning to leave permanently when we make dock next week in Tortuga. I have found that life on a ship is not much better than my old life. I must get back to my family, who need me much more than the inhabitants of this vessel."

Harrison looked like he had been stabbed. And I might of well have done just that. I had taken his feelings that he had confided in me and ripped them to shreds. I had done to him exactly what I had feared all my life. He looked choked for words.

"If you will kindly leave, I must get back to my work." I said, using every ounce of energy to keep from crying and turning at once to my clothes.

Harrison just stood there. Stone still. Clutching his hat and mouth open. His eyes had a watery glint to them. Finally he just gave a little bow and turned, leaving me all alone. The second he was gone, I realized what he had done for me. Put it all on the line, just to tell me what he felt. I was a fool, a wretched fool. I collapsed in a sobbing heap on my clothes and just lay there, crying and shaking.

That night I didn't eat. Nor the next day. I just sat on my bed, my eyes puffy and My heart empty. No one came to check on me. No one cared. No one but Harrison. And I had ruined him.

Finally on the third day, I dared to venture from my room, only traveling to the store room to get some bread and water. I was appalled when I saw my reflection. I was pale and ghostly, with bright red eyes and lips. I had lost weight, only a bit, and my hair was gnarled and ratted. I grabbed a potato from a sack in the corner and ran to my quarters. The first thing I did when I got in to my room was clean myself up. I washed my face, changed my outfit, and cut two thick slices from the middle of the potato. I laid on my bed, laying the slices on my swollen eyes to ease the redness and puffy looks. It was an old trick I had learned from herb woman in Tortuga. A few minutes with those and my eyes would be fine. Later, I brushed my hair, tying in my bandanna before walking to the door. I needed to talk to Harrison. I did love him. It took me two days to overcome my fears, but finally I understood. I had never been afraid of anything, this was just another adventure. Just one of another sort.

I leapt up the steps two at a time, suddenly exited. All thoughts of fear were gone. When I stepped on to the deck, the wind was cool. The clouds above were dark. I knew that Caribbean storms could be dangerous. The deck was total chaos, everyone was trying to do everything they possibly could in a small confined space.

I found Harrison immediately. He was the only one who didn't look like a filthy pig. I walked briskly over to him. He was securing barrels to the deck with thick rope.

"Harrison, I need to speak to you." I said, trying to keep from jumping in to his arms.

Harrison didn't even look up.

"Miss Sparrow, I am busy." he said, not even tuning.

I tried to keep from feeling hurt by remembering that I had been a total jerk to him.

"Harrison listen-"

He cut me off.

"Miss Sparrow, I feel that as our relationship reaches only as far as acquaintance, that it is neither proper for you to call me Harrison, nor to speak to me while I am working. If you will kindly leave, I have work to do." he was finally looking at me. But his eyes were cold and emotionless.

I felt as he must have felt. Abandoned and alone, heartbroken. Only I wasn't giving up.

"Harrison, I confused my feelings! I-"

"Miss Sparrow! I think you made your feelings quite clear the other night."

He turned back to his work, showing me that the conversation was over.

Slowly, feeling as if my heart had been wrenched open, I made my way back down the stairs. I am so stupid. How could I think that he would listen to me when I had torn him apart just because I was scared.

As the storm raged outside, a different storm raged inside me. One of sorrow and loss.

Issues Issues Issues! As you may have seen, I got my 40 reviews! Yay! Now I would like to thank no write only reed for being the 40th reviewer and. . . Challenge you for fifty reviews! I cannot do it by myself you guys! Only you have the power to review! Ok, maybe I could review my own story, but that would be pretty pathetic!

Sarah