SORRY. I don't think teachers realise that we like to have, you know, LIVES outside of school. Same chappie, but a huge plot piece added on. If it sucks I'm sorry but I did this instead of my Chem. project that's due tomorrow and had to work in between my mom going "are you working on your project or letting your ADD get the best of you?" and my brother harassing me to set up his Xbox Live account… grr…

---Chapter Twelve – Everfree---

"Welcome home, honey," called a sweet voice. Suguru forced himself to not to shy away as he stepped inside and tried to figure out where his parents were, avoiding piles of trash as he went. The room he was in was otherwise empty. That meant that both parents were in the second one…

"Suguru! Come in here and tell us about your day!"

/Dad…/ he thought, fear and loathing lacing the word. I know what this means… He dropped his bag and went into the room where everyone slept, perfecting his mask of mild confusion and slight hope, squashing any sort of apprehension that might show. He'd never give them any sort of satisfaction…

"There's my boy! Did you have a good time at school?" asked his mom, who was sitting on her husband's lap, a motherly smile on her face.

"Answer your mom," growled his dad.

/I know what you're going to do regardless if I do or don't, my answering the question just determines what kind of beating I get./ "It was pretty good. But not much happened."

"That's good to hear! I'm glad my favourite son had a good day," she smiled, getting up and walking over to hug him. Suguru relaxed in her grip, forgetting for a moment that she was the enemy.

He was reminded soon enough.

"Your father and I had the worst days of our lives!" she screeched suddenly, squeezing him painfully and digging her nails into his back. "He got laid-off and now I'm suddenly too old to continue working! What a thankless world! It's all your fault, too- if we didn't have to pay to keep you alive, we'd be better off!"

"You're such a worthless waste of space," spat his dad. "Go off yourself. The world would be a better place!"

/Don't I know it. Oh, you have no idea how I'd love to disappear. But that would just make you happy, and I'd lose,/ Suguru bitterly remarked inside his head. He said nothing as his mother released him and stepped back so his father could begin to rough him up. It was just another day.

---

Suguru opened his eyes to find himself staring at an overcast sky. The clouds rushed by overhead at an unnatural pace, and though he could smell rain in the air, everything was dry. So dry, in fact, that it looked like there had been a drought for months. The grass and the trees, everything was a uniform dusty, depressing brown. His own skin was itchy and cracked where it stretched, prompting him to shift around as he was on his back, trying to erase the feeling of never-ending itch.

A loud crack of thunder made him bolt upright with surprise as it reverberated in his bones. Another boom went off seconds later, causing the ground to shake and Suguru himself to quake in fear. He had never dealt well with storms.

/Wait, where's the lightning?/

Suguru looked up from his cowering a moment, only to duck his head back in as yet another roll of thunder cracked right over him. But it was enough to tell him that, contrary to what science dictated, there was thunder without lighting.

/Something's up. This isn't right./

He forced himself to first uncurl, and then to stand as the thunder grew louder and more frequent. Suguru clapped his hands over his ears as they started to throb with the unaccustomed noise level and took a step forward, being careful not to tumble down the steep slope of the hill he had been lying on. As soon as his foot landed, a heavy downpour started. The rain fell in his eyes as he looked up in mild surprise, but he quickly shook his head and continued down the hill. Even though there was no lightning, it still wasn't safe to be in such a prominent area.

/One step at a time. Yes, I can do this- just one step ahead of the other. The thunder won't bother me once I have shelter…/

Suguru glanced around in the sheets of rain, feeling isolated and somewhat apprehensive once he reached the bottom. He couldn't see far in front of him, but all that was there were a few sad, broken trees on an otherwise featureless grass plain. The clouds, however, stopped a few feet yards away, though they continued to race by at their break-neck pace; it was as though something was holding the tail end of the system in place, so that it stayed in one place while moving, like a treadmill. Suguru refused to be distracted by this and kept walking and jogging by turns until he was far away from the strange storm. When he turned around to look back at it, he discovered that it was indeed like a treadmill- there were even people-shaped clouds running on top of it. One was male and the other was female. The bizarreness of it made him stop for a few seconds as he tried to gather his wits.

/Um. Okay. I must be dreaming… that's the only logical way this –any of this- could be happening…/

Knowing that he was actually dreaming this helped him calm down considerably. He took a stabilizing breath, then turned back around and continued to march away. Since it was a dream, he had nothing to worry about any more- it wasn't real.

It simply could not be real.

He could not, and would not, be hurt.

And that would be the end of that.

Suguru began to hum a calm, cheerful little tune to himself as he continued forward. The landscape was incredibly dull and boring and he chided himself for the lack of imagination behind it, though he did admit that the storm bit was pretty creative. Suguru giggled a little as he was suddenly filled with exuberance. There were no rules here- no one and nothing could hold him back! He was his own master here. Finally, there was a reality far better than the one he had always known, and even though it was only a dream, he could live it out as he wanted. And if his father beat him enough that he was never able to wake up again somehow, then it would be perfect. Providing that he didn't wake up or die, Suguru could live here forever.

"So much for my parents and Tohma! Even Yurushi! No one can abandon or torture me here… it's just me… and I can do as I please." Suguru stopped and thought a bit, then imagined that his old synthesizer was right before him, as well as a glass of water and a comfortable chair to sit in. They all appeared in an instant, and Suguru happily sat down to create music.

---

Some time later, Suguru stretched up his hands and yawned. He had been hard at work and had accomplished a great deal, so now it was time for a break.

His hazel eyes scanned the horizon and he felt a tinge of loneliness. It really was empty here, in this dreamscape. There was no sound beyond the ones he created, not even an occasional birdcall or buzz of a flying insect. He supposed he could imagine them if he wanted to, but the idea didn't appeal to him very much. Suguru didn't miss the noise –he had always felt that life would be a little more bearable without it sometimes-, he missed companionship. Or, to be more accurate, he wanted to know what it was like.

"I don't know anyone I'd want to be here with me," Suguru murmured to himself, "but I've always wanted a pet. Maybe a cat, or a dog… or both! I can have both here!" He grinned happily and imagined that the animals were before him, and within seconds they were- a friendly black Labrador and an inquisitive ginger tabby appeared at his feet. Suguru reached over to pick up the kitten and scratch the dog behind its head.

"Hey!" he chided as the kitten promptly attacked his fingers. The dog seemed to smile and nuzzled under his hand, wanting more attention. Suguru sighed with mock exasperation and scratched the lab a little harder while still trying to pick up the kitten. He couldn't stay annoyed with something that was so incredibly cute.

"You guys need names," he said once the tabby was safely on his lap and the dog's head was resting on his knee, the warm brown eyes watching him intently. "I'm pretty sure you're guys, because I'd feel weird with girls here, even if they were animals. So… okay. You," he said as he rubbed the lab's head, "I'm going to call you Hiro."

/Hiro… Hiro… that name's familiar to me somehow… but I don't know why. Maybe it's a classmate of mine…/ Suguru shoved the mystery away and focused on the little ball of fur in his lap that was now trying to climb up his shirt.

"Don't ask me why, but you're definitely Shuichi. Now stop sticking your claws into my chest!" He tried to gently pull Shuichi off the shirt, but the kitten clung tight. "Come on!" he growled, now using both hands, but it seemed like it was going to be impossible to get Shuichi off without hurting him.

Shuichi mewled in distress as Suguru's hands clamped a little too tight around his small body. This caused Hiro to stand up and place his paws on Suguru's thighs, putting his face right up close into the action. Shuichi immediately let go of the shirt he was clinging to and stopped struggling, then looked straight up into Suguru's eyes.

/Do you love me?/ the kitten's bright blue eyes asked; /Do you really?/

"Huh? What? I, I…" Suguru faltered and the kitten projected the sense that it was pouting, and would be on the verge of tears if it were actually human.

/Suguru, do you love me?/

"… I… think so. Yes."

/Do I really?/ he asked himself as the kitten immediately perked up again. /And why is this important?/

"Ne, Hiro, what do you make of all this?" he asked casually, looking back at the dog who was still perched on his thighs. Strangely, he couldn't feel an ounce of the lab's weight.

Hiro's eyes glanced to Suguru's forgotten cup of water. Though he hadn't become thirsty at all in his dream, he had still taken sips whenever he felt his body should have in real life. The dream-water had a different quality to it; it tasted the same as normal water, but it was as though every time he took a sip, he was drinking the essence of pain, despair, hope, joy, sadness, love, melancholy, contentment, freedom, disappointment, frustration, peace, fear, jealousy, exuberance, surprise, and mirth all at once. It made him cautious to not take too much too often.

"What of it?" he asked, perplexed. What did the strange water have to do with Shuichi? Hiro seemed to sigh, and then opted to go on all fours and walk a short distance away, then plopped himself back down on his haunches and keep a look-out for something.

"Huh. Strange…" /Wonder what it's about, but I guess it's not so important… Shuichi seems happy anyway. He's easy to please./ Suguru continued to gently stroke the kitten's head with two fingers, his stomach fluttering with an unknown feeling as the tiny creature purred for all he was worth. /But why do I feel so different? I've never felt like this before; it's almost as though I'm actually… attached… to him. Which I guess is alright since he's a cat and can't hurt me like a human would, but they way he looked at me… someone else did that once. No, a lot. But I never recognised what it was…/

A rapid series of still frames ran through his head, each and every one of a young man with pink hair and violet eyes, every expression one could think of on his face in each snapshot. Suguru clapped his hands to the sides of his head and groaned, causing Shuichi to stop purring and nudge his hand in worry.

/Sh-Shuichi…/

Suguru didn't notice when the kitten started batting at his hands –sharp claws extended in panic- and meowing loudly. He didn't realise when Hiro, alerted by his little friend's distress, quickly got up and came to investigate, nudging his hands and licking any part of Suguru's face that he could get to, whining with worry.

/Shuichi!/

More snapshots rushed through his head, this time of a good-looking young man with long brown hair, often smiling tenderly. Sometimes he frowned with worry, other times he was yelling with rage, but more often than not, he seemed like a relaxed, caring person.

/Hiro./

Still more cascaded on his consciousness as the animals continued to try to get him to respond to something. Suguru saw moments of daily life with Shuichi and Hiro in the recording studio, sometimes with K and Sakano, sometimes without. He saw Tohma and his wife Mika on their wedding day looking like the happiest people in the world. Eiri Yuki's tortured expression and Tohma's murderous face when he learned about the night of the real Yuki's murder was followed by Ryuichi's childishly happy grin as Noriko presented him with a Kumogoro snack behind the stage before a Nittle Grasper performance. Suguru saw Shuichi's face for the first time again, he saw his first performance before a live audience on the stage with Bad Luck as a support member, he saw the day where Tohma left him behind for good.

Suguru saw everything that had ever happened in his life.

"Yurushi," he whispered painfully as his little brother's face caught for a second, halting the continuous flow. "Yurushi. Yurushi. Yurushi." Shuichi began to nip painfully at his already scratched and bleeding hands, but Suguru didn't move. He couldn't. Fear, a mind-crushing fear, had him paralyzed.

"I ki-…"

The frames sped by faster than ever, until they blurred into something like a scene from a horror movie…

---

It was deathly quiet in the house. The light of a street lamp filtered through the blinds, illuminating the dust motes that seemed to hang in stasis, casting irregularly shaped bars of alternating light and dark as they fell upon the forms of four sleeping people in a tiny room. Occasionally, a bitter wind whistled through the city, seeping in to the invisible cracks of buildings and chilling the bones of the unconscious.

Suguru was lying on his back, fully awake. He glared at the ceiling above with dull brown eyes, listening to the regular breathing of his family all around him; it seemed to echo in the tiny space, gradually crecendoing and growing soft at unpredictable times. There was a fire smoldering in the back of his consciousness, keeping him awake, making him incredibly sensitive to every aspect of his environment- he listened and breathed with the wind, exhaling in a rush whenever it blew by. His fingers twitched when he heard the quiet skittering of vermin inside the wall he was being pressed against on his left. His heart thumped in his chest. He felt, at that moment, incredibly alive- more so than he ever had before. The fire inside of his being was rapidly growing, already having been started a decade ago, and now he was finally ready to cut a bright swath of light through the darkness that permeated into every aspect of his life.

Suguru was ready, at long last, to make his move against what seemed to be his fate.

He waited until his parents were undeniably asleep. Yurushi, sleeping next to him on a second-hand futon, turned from side to side in his sleep as though he subconsciously felt his older brother's energy. A few times, he would roll over and loosely wrap his arms around Suguru's, nuzzling his forehead against it. It would have been cute, maybe, if the little guy wasn't treated as if he walked on water.

---

"Yurushi," whispered Suguru as loudly as he dared, "Yurushi, wake up."

"Uwaaah? Big brother, what-"

"Shh! Don't wake mom and dad up!" said Suguru quickly, holding up a finger to his lips. Yurushi sat up slowly and scrubbed his eyes, yawning.

"What time is it?" he asked sleepily, barely managing to stay awake.

"It's very early in the morning. I'm sorry I woke you up like this, but I forgot that tomorrow is mom and dad's anniversary, and I had something I wanted to give them when they woke up in the morning," Suguru whispered hurriedly, gently placing his hands on Yurushi's shoulders and massaging him a little to get his blood moving. "It's a surprise."

"Oh? Okies, Su-chan, let's get it for them." Without asking for further elaboration, Yurushi stood up, stretched a little, and began to carefully pick his way to the door. Suguru blinked at the simplicity of it, but quickly stretched himself and followed his little brother into the dark little corridor.

"Did we wake them up, Su-chan?" asked Yurushi anxiously once Suguru was next to him. "I was careful…"

"No, you did a good job. Now we can really surprise them in the morning!" Suguru smiled at him.

"Where is it? Where'd you hide it? How big is it? Is it red? I like that colour," Yurushi started to babble quietly, his eyes shining with excitement now that he was awake. Suguru smiled down at him fondly and hugged him close, just for a moment, feeling their small frames press against each other. When he released him, Yurushi gave him the sweetest grin he had ever seen from a kid.

"It's in the bathroom, Yurushi- that's the only place I could hide it without it getting smelly or seen."

"Oh, okay! Can I see it, please? Please please please please?" he eagerly begged. "I promise I won't tell!"

"'Course. Come on," Suguru said, opening the door and gesturing for his little brother to step in first. He then quietly clicked the door shut behind.

"Didja hide it in the cabinets, Su-chan? 'Cause it'd get REALLY smelly if you hid it in the potty," Yurushi giggled.

Suguru snorted softly. "I'm not that stupid, Yurushi. Of course I didn't put it in there."

"Where is it?"

"Hmm… guess." Suddenly, Suguru's voice took on an edge of nervousness. But he still felt driven, alive. So very much alive.

Yurushi shifted with some slight discomfort in the enclosed space. As small as the two of them were, there was really only room for one of them at a time. And Suguru was getting bigger- he was twelve years old! To Yurushi, Suguru seemed to have infinite wisdom and knowledge, and especially talent. He trusted him to do something special for their parents, even if they seemed to be a bit distant from his older brother.

"The cabinets! That's the only other place!" he exclaimed, still whispering for the most part. The charged energy that was being trapped in the room was starting to make him even more excited.

"Alright. Wanna look inside? I'll lift you up." Suguru clasped his little brother by the sides as Yurushi nodded excitedly, his big brown eyes shining with excitement. He really was an adorable little kid…

"Ne, Su-chan, there's just our toothbrush and toothpaste in here. Did you forget where you hid it?" said Yurushi, frowning.

"Nah. I know it's in here."

"But there's nothing-"

"Trust me. I'm leaving it here."

"Huh?" Yurushi turned around to peer into his brother's face with curiosity as soon as both of his feet were back on the dirty floor. "But you said it was already here."

"… I lied." Suguru looked up and directly into Yurushi's wide eyes. "And I have to do this, before the fire goes out." Yurushi gazed at him, puzzled, but didn't say anything as Suguru caught him by the waist and drew him in close again. "Before I die again."

"Su-chan, you're alive," murmured Yurushi into his shirt. "I hear your heart." Suguru was silent for a few seconds as he removed his hand, clinging to his little brother all the harder with his other arm. "Yeah, I definitely hear your heart- it's going 'babump, babump, babump' pretty fast. Are you scared, Su-chan?"

Suguru and Yurushi stared at each other briefly.

"Nah. Just… alive, I guess." His voice wavered.

"See, you're alive, like me and mom and dad," Yurushi smiled, sweetly and sincerely.

Suguru winced, shut his eyes, then sighed.

"Sorry."

And with that, he proceeded to cut his brother to pieces.

--- TO BE CONTINUED ---

I know that cliff's terribly bad and horrible. In more than one way. But I felt like crap for not updating, again…

So… Junior year is a real pain in the ass… and I suck at time management.

But I hit a milestone in my life- I didn't stop when American Pie came on, I just paused for a second. And angsted some more for a few hours. (I really miss CTY.)

Does anyone else wish they got some sort of switch that flipped the presence of their family on and off?