V. Together Again
There are times when I look above and beyond,
There are times when I feel your love around me, baby.
I'll never forget you...
There are times when I look above and beyond,
There are times when I feel your love around me, baby.
I'll never forget my baby.
When I feel that I don't belong,
Draw my strength from the words you said,
"Hey it's about you baby. Look deeper inside you baby.
Dream about us together again,
what I want, us together again, baby."
I know we'll be together again 'cause...
Everywhere I go, every smile I see;
I know you are there, smilin' back at me.
Dancin' in moonlight,
I know you are free,
Cause I can see your star shinin' down on me.
Good times we'll share again; makes me wanna dance.
Say it loud and proud, all my love's for you!
Always been a true angel to me, now above,
I can't wait for you to wrap your wings around me, baby.
Sometimes hear you whisperin' no more pain.
No worries will you ever see now, baby.
Dream about us together again,
what I want, us together again, baby.
I know we'll be together again cause...
Everywhere I go, every smile I see;
I know you are there, smilin' back at me.
Dancin' in moonlight, I know you are free,
Cause I can see your star shinin' down on me.
Good times we'll share again; makes me wanna dance.
Say it loud and proud, all my love's for you!
There are times when I look above and beyond.
There are times when I feel your smile upon me baby,
I'll never forget my baby.
What I'd give just to hold you close.
As on Earth, in Heaven, we will be together, baby.
Together again my baby, cause...
Everywhere I go, every smile I see;
I know you are there, smilin' back at me.
Dancin' in moonlight, I know you are free,
Cause I can see your star shinin' down on me.
Everywhere I go, every smile I see;
I know you are there, smilin' back at me.
Dancin' in moonlight, I know you are free,
Cause I can see your star shinin' down on me.
Together Again is the property of Janet Jackson.
Ain't Nothing But A She Thing is the property of Salt N' Pepa.
No Stopping Us is the property of Jason Mraz.
The music from last chapter is "The Young and the Hopeless" and it's the property of Good Charlotte.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Future updates won't take as long, as I've finished the other story. In this chapter, near the end, you will see a Danny/Liberty scene. That's a little different from the others. Thanks!
"Today I am a man," whispers Paul, straightening his jacket collar.
Zack grins. "And all before your bar mitzvah."
"Somewhere in here is the future Mrs. Rubenstein," asserts Paul.
Laced up sneakers pound, squeak, glide across the floor, preteen girls moving in near perfect synchronization in front of several mirrors attached to the dance studio walls. Zack views high ponytails flopping up and down, with each movement, his heart doing a similar motion. A CD player blasts out a heavy, pulsing beat with sick rhymes. The atmosphere feels more familiar, as there are kids his own age, genuinely having fun. It's so much different from the police station, which felt a bit cold upon first entry, with all those adults. After meeting his uncle, and hearing that maybe he can meet his mom, the coldness started to thaw. Some huge, warm hope filled his chest, him sweating with anticipation, much like the girls now popping and locking to this song.
It ain't nuthin but a she thing, yeah
It ain't a man's world
You go, girl! No more sugar and spice
It ain't a man's world, no more sugar and spice
It's a she thing and it's all in me
I can be anything that I wanna be
Don't consider me a minority
Open up your eyes and maybe you'll see
It's a she thing and it's all in me
I can be anything that I want to be
Don't consider me a minority
Ladies help me out if you agree
The girls twirl simultaneously, leotards shining under the bright, studio lights. Zack hates that he can't interrupt the lesson. Paul, well, he was too entranced to remind him of why they were really here at Degrassi Community Center. Paul's only response after they parted ways with Danny was "Manny Santos...just the name even sounds hot." Luckily, Manny's photograph was in the Grapevine so he knew what she looked like, which hadn't been the case with his uncle. His uncle. Wow, still so odd to comprehend. More odd to comprehend, that he might meet his mother in a day or so. It's really up to her, he thinks sadly. But isn't she curious about him too? He did come all this way, after all.
"Five...six...seven...eight," calls out an exuberant voice, the sound of clapping breaking Zack's thoughts.
Dressed in a form-fitting white T-shirt and black sweatpants, Zack recognizes Manny immediately, a bit taller than in the picture, hair tied back in a messy bun, golden skin glistening. Put her next to Paige, and man, his dad knew some real knock-outs.
"And there she is," says Paul, grinning. "Pardon me while I get my flirt on."
"There's a lesson going on, man," cautions Zack.
"Because you never break the rules?" throws back Paul. "No, we'll blend."
"I am not dancing to Salt N' Pepa!" whispers Zack, urgently.
"Dude, you know this song!?"
"There was a VH1 marathon and...ugh! Fine."
Zack pushes Paul lightly by the shoulders, seeing their reflections inch closer to the moving flood of girls. A couple girls threw them shocked stares, but the majority were too focused on the routine. Paul situates himself between a girl with braids and a girl with wavy, red hair, grinning.
"Mind if I pass that dutch with you, ladies?" he asks.
Zack could vomit. Paul watched way too many ancient rap videos, in preparation for some career in entertainment. Well, not that he didn't, either, but yeah. He wonders what career his father would've chosen if he graduated.
The two girls pause, laughing as Paul puts his hands on his knee, starts pumping out his butt. Their laughter is so loud, it's heard over the music, forcing everyone to take notice. Paul does a very stiff butterfly, while Zack hangs his head in shame.
"Oh yeah!" shouts Paul, casting a glance at the pretty redhead. "Hebrew hotness, mami. Hebrew hotness."
Zack raises his head, sees Manny, red-faced, breath heaving, yank Paul as one of her students shuts off the radio.
"Are you cuckoo bananas?" yells Manny.
"Uhhh...for you, yeah," replies Paul.
This would probably be a good time to speak up, although Zack's not sure where to start. He does know, however, that they can't get thrown out without him learning anything new. With the possibility of meeting his mother, any information he can get will be helpful. He doesn't want to meet her as some completely clueless idiot.
"We didn't mean to bother you, ma'am...," starts Zack.
Manny shoots him an annoyed look, her mouth hanging open.
"I mean...miss...lady...," stammers Zack.
"Princess," supplies Paul, staring at her hand on his arm with pleasure.
Manny nudges Paul over to Zack, Paul almost falling, but managing to stand.
"These are private lessons," informs Manny. "I'm all for male dance students since there's a shortage, but you have to pay to stay."
"It's seventy-five for the course," chimes in the redhead, smiling sweetly at Zack.
"His girlfriend," says Paul, standing in front of Zack. "She might not like it."
"Veronica is not...," begins Zack.
"Can the flirtation," orders Manny, rolling her eyes. "Would you like to join us?"
"Not really," admits Zack. "My name's Zack Crewe. I have questions for you, Ms. Santos. About...about some stuff in your past."
Manny raises her eyebrows, glances at the clock. Her students, Paul, and Zack all do the same. Come on, thinks Zack. We did mess up her lesson, though.
"Ten minute break, ladies," says Manny.
"Yes!" cry a few voices.
Girls immediately walk over to the side, pulling out cellphones, bottled water, or change so they could get snacks from the vending machines. Manny grabs a towel, leads Zack to the hall right outside the studio.
"This isn't...this isn't related to the PoundWatchers program, is it?" whispers Manny, looking around nervously. "Gosh! They keep sending in these kids with questions, cameras to take pics of my body. There's no flab FYI!"
"Huh?" says Zack.
"It's just...just I was real tired after doing that miniseries, and my agent was shady, so got rid of him, and I needed the money," continues Manny. "Only I didn't want to be known as the Poundwatchers spokesperson, you know? Pulled out because I want to be a legitimate dance instructor. And the insurance definitely doesn't suck."
"Good?" replies Zack, shrugging.
"Little did I know, my ex-agent would try and sue me," sighs Manny. "He's desperate to prove I backed out because he thinks I'm fake, got lipo. Eh, should've got the hint when my IMDB page was never updated."
Manny strokes her head in frustration, Zack tempted to do the same. Why did his parents' friends always like to share way too much with him? I must have this permanent interested look on my face. Although, her worries seemed to have subsided.
"So why are you here then?" she says.
Better to jump right in while she's cooled down, he decides.
"Um...J.T. Yorke," answers Zack, timidly.
'J.T. Yorke!" snaps Manny. "J.T. Yorke! This better not be some sick idea of a joke or..."
"No, no!" insists Zack.
Manny folds her arms, frowns.
"He's...he's my dad," says Zack. "Well, was my dad."
The frown fades, replaced by her mouth falling open. Yeah, the typical reaction, thinks Zack, swallowing a lump in his throat. Manny's gaze goes over him, Zack blushing, looking down. He swears her brown eyes are shaking every nerve in his body. Finally, a smile crosses her face, and she tips his chin up.
"It's like all the features are coming out one by one," whispers Manny, warmly, with a trace of sadness. "Oh...J.T."
Zack can make out a couple tears lining her eyes, as she goes over, sits Indian-style on the cold community center floor. He's not clear whether it's good to join her or not. Shrugging off his backpack, he parks next to her, anyway.
"You...you guys were friends?" brings up Zack, reluctantly.
"Knew him since I was four," replies Manny, sniffling. "Me, him, and Em."
"I only...found out his name today," confesses Zack. "Danny...my mom's brother...my uncle...he told me."
"There was a time when I thought everyone would know J.T.'s name," says Manny. "He was going to be an actor."
"Really?" blurts out Zack, happily.
Wow, what a cool job, a job that was...never realized. That realization makes his blood run cold, his cheeks burn.
"In a way, his name is well-known," says Manny. "Mostly around Degrassi. We dedicated a scholarship in his honor, and...a couple years ago, they built a day care center near the school in his name since he proposed it."
Zack nods his head in appreciation. His dad is famous in a smaller way, but it's a way that matters. If he had stuff named after him, he'd be proud.
"Hearing that is nice," says Zack, quietly. "Were you proud of him?"
Manny beams at him, an expression that has given Zack the most comfort today.
"I was very proud of our friendship," provides Manny.
Unzipping his bag, Zack takes out the newspaper, points Manny to the picture of the Spirit Squad, and the variety show. He's hoping it will cheer her up, remembering better memories. He's thankful it appears it's made some difference, Manny peering down at the tiny, black and white version of herself in one photograph.
II.
Youth is so funny, thinks Manny. Then again, youth can be surprising, dark, tragic. She told Zack that pretty much everyone at Degrassi would know who J.T. was, due to some positive changes. Well, there was a time when everyone knew who she was, and not due to anything positive.
She can barely take the jeers, the snickering, the heads shaking. A thick wool jacket covers her tiny frame, snowflakes melting off her jacket, cold wind blasting through the thinness of her hose. More laughter fills her ears with each corridor turned, and she wishes she hadn't run into Paige, who reminded her practice was that afternoon.
Sitting outside has become her favorite past time. She hates to admit it. The brick of the school building recalls a trip she made a month ago to another brick building, her mother in the waiting room with her. She didn't process the time between the nurse asking if she was ready, and her coming out to the Santos family car. Craig, of course, didn't agree with it. Emma called to check up on her, though the conversation was spotty. She didn't want to talk then, and it's hard to talk now.
Manny peeps into the gym, the scoreboard still lit up after a Panthers basketball scrimmage. J.T., already in uniform, flips a switch, shuts it off. Manny turns to leave, sure she can make it out of there. Paige and Hazel, Ashley's friends, tried to be polite as possible, but she'd still feel a wave of intense dislike from them and the rest of the squad. Moving her feet, Manny's sneakers make a loud squeak.
"Manny!" greets J.T., viewing the back of her head.
"Hey...hey, J.T.," says Manny, slowly walking towards him.
"The scrimmage is over," informs J.T. "That's the only reason I'm here so early. Apparently, jocks can't control the stupid scoreboard. Or maybe they think they're too cool to do it. Why me?"
"Well, you did it for the floor hockey game last year," points out Manny.
"Where Liberty was a dictator," laughs J.T. "Yeah, that's true."
"And I hurt my ankle," says Manny. "What if I fake an injury, get out of this practice?"
"Paige would still make you do a toe touch," asserts J.T. "And a backflip and be on top of the pyramid..."
"I am the smallest," groans Manny.
J.T. blushes, which makes Manny purse her lips. Lately, it seems as if J.T. is acting strangely around her. Sure, there was that crush early this year, when she chose Sully over him. Still, they were friends, and he was a brother more than anything. He'd get over the crush sooner or later.
"After this year, I'm done," says Manny, hoping it'll break the awkwardness.
"Come on!" protests J.T. "You're...you're the best out there, Manny."
Manny takes off her jacket, throws it on a bleacher where J.T. has put Paige's boombox. How can she be on Spirit Squad, when her spirit's somewhere else? Displaying a forced smile becomes tiring after awhile. Her reputation hung in the air, like a hundred raised hands ready to slap her in the face for initiating a relationship with a taken guy. Her mother didn't talk to her in the same tone as before, and if it would ever return to normal, she's not sure. Why be happy for people that hate her, or the few who feel bad for her?
"Don't start, J.T.," waves off Manny.
She takes a seat on the bleachers, tapping her feet against the linoleum. J.T. itches the stomach of his mascot panther suit, sighs, flops down next to her.
"Some good news," says J.T., after clearing his throat. "Yours truly might land a commercial. I got a callback."
"Seriously?" exclaims Manny, grinning.
The grin obviously pleases J.T., and Manny tries hard to hide it. She fails, her muscles relaxing.
"I'm not shelling high-tech gadgets or anything...it's for french fries," admits J.T. "Gotta start somewhere, though."
"Sounds like fun...being in front of a camera," says Manny.
"Beats being in front of a crowd," says J.T. "With a very, very hot panther head."
Manny laughs, secretly hoping she'll never have to wear that outfit.
"Smushing your skater boy hair," teases Manny. "What is it like being on camera?"
J.T.'s eyes glaze over, and Manny's certain it must be one of the greatest feelings her friends has ever felt. A part of her is a bit envious, that he can put himself out there and she currently can't. However, more of her is happy that J.T.'s actually taking steps to make his dream a reality.
"Heaven on earth with pancake-y make-up on your cheeks?" guesses Manny.
"That'll do, little Manny," says J.T., smiling. "That'll do."
"Babe," gasps Manny. "The first movie the three of us saw together."
"Yep," says J.T.
Manny tucks some hair behind her ear. "I'll let you in on a teeny secret."
"Spill," orders J.T.
"Sometimes when I was watching movies with you guys, and Em was you know, fascinated with the singing animals for whatever reason..."
J.T. chuckles. "Especially the country-singing dolphins."
"I would...like memorize the lines, and say them at home, act out the scenes?" finishes Manny. "I don't know. It's fun to pretend to be someone else, especially when you wish you were someone else."
J.T. bites his lip, a few moments passing with both of them speechless. Maybe I shared too much, thinks Manny. It was semi-embarrassing, even if she's known J.T. for practically forever.
"That's standard for actors," speaks up J.T., suddenly. "You are an actress, Manny Santos."
"Psssh, please," says Manny, shaking her head.
"You are," insists J.T. "And we'll do a show together. Oooh, a teenage sitcom. No, an issue of the week drama. Or...or a variety show. You twirling a baton and me doing a handstand."
Manny laughs, clutching her chest with her hand. The very idea of it is so ludicrous. That said, the image is probably the best thought she's had all day.
"We'll be famous," concedes Manny. "At the top of the teenage hierarchy, like the High School Musical kids."
"And we'll both...dance," says J.T., pressing the play button on the boombox.
A light, cheery song streams out of the pink boombox, echoes bouncing off the gym walls, J.T. clapping his uniform paws to the beat.
"Should I address all my letters to the well to be
Should I say return to sender is just a well be done
Should I better not it so personally if all the good loving is never received
Baby if it was me well I wouldn't think twice
No not I...
See its easy if you only try
So don't lie down on the job
Because once we hit the top there's no stopping us..."
Manny lightly claps along, her heart a little less heavy. She watches J.T. do the running man, then a spastic snake.
"Your snake is totally off," chastises Manny. "If Paige was here..."
"She isn't," interrupts J.T., helping Manny to her feet.
J.T. twirls her around, Manny's head growing deliciously dizzy, grateful that her worries fly away as she spins. Manny curtsies, as J.T. bows, and they dance some more, the short, staccato movements unrehearsed, free. She hasn't danced like this in about a year, when she was more carefree, at that 80's dance. It was fun seeing Jimmy split his pants, but more fun to just act goofy with the teenage guy who probably knew her best.
I will drive a thousand miles or I'll meet you at the station
If only you would take a vacation from this thing you have created
I promise to make it worth your while
So c'mon try. Baby wont you try
It's easy if you do not run
I promise you you'll have your fun
Because once we hit the top we've just begun
There's no stopping us.
Manny holds up her hands, catches her breath. J.T. turns off the boombox.
"We're some duo," says Manny.
"That we are," agrees J.T.
Outside the gym, they can hear raised voices, Paige's voice carrying the most. They'd be coming in any second, meaning no more fun. There'd be more judgment, that's for sure. Then again, does it matter? She has one person who believes in her, right in the gym with her. Smiling, she hugs J.T., scratchy panther fur rubbing against her neck. Saying nothing, J.T. returns the hug. That's what movies and actors do, she reminds herself. They make you feel what can't be said, and embrace every part of what it is that makes you human.
III.
That includes frailty, a frailty she wasn't ready for. One night exposed it all. Damien, most likely the cutest guy at Lakehurst, brought it out, kissing her. If hearts could have goosebumps, she's sure that would be the best way to describe her feelings after their mouths met. Then, talking to Ellie showed that she wasn't made of mettle yet again, that a kiss wouldn't overpower her worries about Craig and his demons. Sadly, and most of all, she was aware that both of Zack's parents' hearts were frail, his father's body too frail by the end.
Emma hiccups, weaves to the side, traces her fingers over the kitchen curtains.
"These...weren't here before," she says.
Manny hurriedly goes over, props Emma up when she slides down.
"Yes, they were," says Manny.
"They're so ugly," whispers Emma, foul breath entering Manny's nostrils.
"Wow, drunken interior design," sighs Manny. "We'll put that on your college application, right under minty fresh breath, fresher than Niagara Falls."
"I'd like to fall on Sean," laughs Emma, then letting out a loud hiccup.
Thankfully, Sean has spotted them, making his way through the party crowd.
"You get your wish," says Manny, handing Emma over to him.
Sean struggles to get her up, managing to do so. He steers Emma to a couch, Manny letting out a sigh of relief. She really didn't want to police Emma the rest of the night. Her and her strawberry tonics. Eyes scanning the crowd, she spies Damien in a corner, talking to Liberty. The sight doesn't thrill her, though Damien told her it wasn't going anywhere. Danny and Derek drop it like it's hot, getting people to gather look, and laugh,, blocking her view. Manny moans.
"Searching for Bill Cosby?" speaks up a voice behind her.
Manny turns, sticks her tongue out at J.T.
"Have no clue what you're talking about," replies Manny.
"Dude in a sweater vest, khakis," supplies J.T. "The apple of Liberty's eye?"
Manny nods knowingly. J.T. only insulted guys he was jealous of. She recalls him putting down Towerz a couple times too, when he and Liberty went out. Wondering how far she can take this, she smiles.
"Not my fault he thinks Liberty's a knockout," says Manny. "He came to see her and..."
"I came to see her first, and I'm never early," says J.T., then lowering his voice. "I mean, as a friend...to wish her a happy birthday."
"Mmmhmm," mumbles Manny.
"No one would be celebrating it without me since I told you," argues J.T. "Toby told me he got her a mug. Who gives someone a mug as a present? That takes a lot of consideration...go to the school gift shop and pick out the most impersonal gift ever."
"Totally...totally impersonal," says Manny, smiling.
J.T. glares at her. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"
Manny giggles, then says with mock anger: "Most impersonal gift ever."
J.T. elbows her, Manny elbowing him back.
"If it eases your mind, which I know it will, Damien found someone else at the party that he digs," says Manny, blushing.
J.T. grins. "Am I talking to her?"
"Could be," answers Manny. "I mean, there's Ellie, rolling her eyes to the seventh consecutive Fergie song that's been played. Emma, whose face is planted into the cushion. Alex, straightening Jay's hoodie. And me...romantically challenged."
"And usually more hopeful," adds J.T., staring at her with concern. "Breaking up with Craig won't kill you."
"If you and Liberty can't work it out, after all you've gone through...," begins Manny.
J.T.'s eyes fall to the floor, him shifting his feet. Is he hiding something? Being honest with herself, she hasn't been sure what to make of his relationship with Mia. It seemed somewhat serious, yet he barely talked about how things were going or how he felt. Manny dismissed it as guy reserve, though if you're happy, shouldn't you share it? Everything's becoming so clear with him dissing Damien. He's hurting, as much as she is over Craig, but no, no, there's more of a chance for them. She may not be hopeful for her own love life, but his and Liberty's?
"Sorry," says Manny.
"Nah, it's fine," says J.T., softly.
Danny and Derek have stopped dancing, so she can find Damien, milling around the fireplace. However, her eyes spot Liberty headed to the porch deck, view Liberty through the window when she reaches it. Manny grabs a pot of rare flowers Snake was growing, thrusts it in J.T.'s hands.
"Put this on the deck for me?" asks Manny.
J.T. stares at it cluelessly, and his own gaze finds Liberty. He beams.
"Thanks, Manny," he says.
Manny kisses his cheek, watches J.T. leave. It's the last time they got to talk.
IV.
Months of guilt followed, ten times worse than her falling for Damien, after inviting Damien to the party as a date for Liberty. She tried to comfort herself by saying, everything was done with good intentions. Lifting Liberty's spirits up with the party, letting the Lakehurst kids in so they wouldn't run the streets, helping Sean take care of a tired Emma as J.T. left the party. The person who she is, has always been, does that, leads with her heart.
Then again, J.T. was never the blaming kind. Well, except for if someone cut one and the stink was pretty bad. Damien reassured her too. Nothing could've been done in the midst of this rivalry that they already didn't do– the peace rally, the attempt to understand each other, Degrassi doing nothing after Toby was beaten. The reassurance made it easy to be with him. Breaking up just before college still felt right. He was bound for NYU, and her acting career was finally getting started. The occasional e-mail from him always puts a smile on her face, though most smiles after that night came from all the wonderful things she and J.T. did during their short time together. No matter the project, or the location, their variety show, done at Degrassi to a standing ovation the year before that tragic night, comes off more genuine, mostly because it's the project closest to her heart.
Manny breathes in and out, stares at Zack, who appears as emotionally drained as she does. She told him a little about Spirit Squad, and the school variety show after he explained his family tree project. Other things, she left private, including the night he died. She just didn't think she should be the one to tell him that. The resemblance to J.T. and Liberty, while startling, makes it slightly easier to talk. After all, they were both old friends.
"Who else have you met?" inquires Manny.
"My uncle, of course," replies Zack. "Then Toby, the Masons..."
"Your mom lets you skip around Toronto?"
"My parents...um, my adopted parents...they know I'm here," says Zack. "Liberty...doesn't."
Manny gasps. "Zack..."
"I know, I know," says Zack. "She might not want to see me anyway."
"I'm sure she will," says Manny.
She hates not knowing if that's true, but what else could you say to a sweet, hopeful mini-J.T.? Liberty was very strong, though maybe this would require more strength than she has at this point? Ugh, I shouldn't have said it, thinks Manny.
"Past ten minutes," whispers Manny to herself, standing.
"Thanks," says Zack, hopping up.
"Have you...seen Emma?" asks Manny. "I bet you you could catch her at the park tomorrow. It's near Degrassi and I could give you directions."
Zack shakes his head. "Haven't met her. I'd like to."
"Alright," says Manny. "First, let me check on my girls."
She and Zack reenter the dance studio, watch as Paul wiggles his butt, slaps it, the girls screaming. Manny eyes Zack, who is about as red as possible.
"He's...he's not my friend," apologizes Zack, half-smiling.
VI.
The box cutter goes easily through the tape, Liberty sliding it down the length of the box top. She has already given away a lot, even some beloved books. Money is needed, though, and she wouldn't hear about the job for a week. Better to cover all bases. Fetching a glass of iced tea, she sips, jumps a bit when she hears a knock at the door.
Hopefully, it's not her mom. She enjoyed "looking in on her", when really it was usually a meeting with Mrs. Van Zandt butting in. No, she told her. No dates yet, since I'm focusing on work. Yes, I stayed in again this weekend. She would never be as social as she was. Didn't they get that? Out of the three, Danny somewhat got it.
To her enjoyment, Danny stands at the door after she unlocks it. He's in his casual mentor clothes, clothes she helped him pick out. Danny walks in, apparently assessing all the boxes on the floor.
"Your cellphone in all this clutter?" asks Danny. "You can no longer get on me for being disorganized."
"That's where you're wrong, Daniel," says Liberty. "All items are categorized by type and acquisition, and there's a list on the counter."
Danny glances at the counter, clicks his tongue. "Whatever."
Liberty offers him a shy smile. "But yes, I'm in the process of getting new numbers."
"And your regular phone's disconnected since you're moving...again," mutters Danny.
Liberty throws him a warning look. She thought he knew better not to pry.
"Do not shrink me," says Liberty, going through the box.
"It's weird, Liberty," shrugs Danny. "I'm half expecting you to leave Canada next. It's almost like..."
"Like what?" exclaims Liberty, eyes growing wet.
"Like you're moving away from memories," says Danny, gently. "You can't do that, sis."
Liberty shoves the box away from her, goes to her apartment window, the only place where she can see the street clearly. That boy, the boy she almost ran over. He plagues her mind horribly. In the sunlight, she has seen those features. He can't remind her of J.T. Nothing can remind her of him. The moving helps. It helps.
"Save the messages for your kids," mutters Liberty, coldly.
That remark probably sounds so offensive, but it doesn't faze him. Liberty didn't want to snap, but Danny must know he's treading on sensitive territory. Danny goes to her, puts an arm around her. Yes, he knows.
"Now that we're talking kids...um...there's a boy who came in to see me...," stammers Danny.
"Yeah?" says Liberty.
"Liberty, there's no other way to say it," says Danny. "It was...it was your son, Liberty."
Her feet are firmly rooted in the carpet, her lips shake, her palms quickly get clammy. Practically the same reaction when she nearly hit the boy with her car. Son...her son in Toronto. Liberty sniffles, a few times, tears falling without her feeling them run down.
"No," whispers Liberty.
Danny lowers his eyes. "He'd like to meet you."
"Danny," chokes out Liberty.
"Everything's fine with him," assures Danny. "Very smart. He's a writer, like you. He came a long way."
Liberty covers her eyes, finally feeling the tears, the heat from them.
"I'll go with you," offers Danny. "Liberty, I think...I think it's the right thing to do. If J.T. were here, he'd...he might like that."
"You aren't me," whispers Liberty, urgently. "You are not in my position."
"True, but..."
"I gave him up!" cries Liberty.
"He's happy," says Danny. "He's happy!"
Happy without me, she thinks. Oh, those words sting. It's what she wanted for him, yet it stings so bad. The confusion kills her. She's only gotten to hold him once, the beauty of that never fading from her mind. She even tucked the blanket against his head before handing him off. Right then, it felt like a motherly thing to do, the only thing she could do in a few seconds.
"Leave, Danny," says Liberty, brushing past him.
Danny stares her down, and she looks away. Her family had made her feel vulnerable enough. Today, though, might take the cake.
"There's only so much running you can do," says Danny. "And before...before he went, J.T. faced hard stuff he needed to face."
Liberty shivers, lifts her glasses to wipe her eyes. He was brave, she thinks, crying harder. He was.
"You can do what he did," whispers Danny. "He's here until Tuesday. Call me."
The sound of the door shutting softly increases the speed of her breath. She sinks to the floor, cries over one of many unopened boxes in the dim apartment light.