Chapter 7

Memories of Darkness

"You know, I was thinking that we talk a lot about school and our friends and world happenings, but we haven't really talked much about our families." Dawn was holding Connor's hand and lying next to him on her bed.

"I guess that's true."

"Um, well, I was thinking maybe we should, ya know, talk about some stuff."

"Is there something in particular that you want to talk to me about?"

"OK," Dawn pulled away from Connor to ask him the question she had been both excited and nervous to ask him. "I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with my sister and some of our friends? Xander just moved to San Jose and we all wanted to throw him a house warming party dinner type thing. So what do you think?"

"Well, my first thought was how cute you sound when you ramble in Dawnnervitis. My second thought was how could I pass up the chance to get to learn more about you through your family and friends. So do you think they'll like me?"

"Of course. I like you, and they know you make me happy, so what's the not likey?" Dawn looked deeply into his eyes and saw slight trepidation there. She leaned up to kiss him deeply to assure him it would all be ok.

"So, don't you want to share some info about you, your past?"

"Of course I do. It's just kinda complicated."

"Believe me, I get complicated. I lived complicated." Dawn felt she needed to tell him some stuff about her past, her family and friends, especially since she had just now invited him to meet them all.

"Fine, I'll start. I have a sister named Buffy-"

"Buffy? Seriously?"

"You know, she really hates it when people make fun of her name."

"Who's makin fun? It's just not a name you hear a lot. Was she a cheerleader?"

"For like a day, but that's not the point."

"Is she blonde?"

"If your next question is if she's easy, I'm throwing you out."

"Dawn, you know I'm just playing with you, sorry, I'll be quiet. Tell me about your family."

If only he knew how not like her name Buffy was. Her sister, The Slayer. How would he react if he knew that her blood almost ended the world, and if not for the sacrifice of her sister, would have. How could Dawn ever explain to him how she had come to be in this world. How she was not eighteen but actually only a few years old, but held the memories of those non-existent years on this earth.

What more could she really say about her family and friends that didn't include the demonic. All she could do was talk around it, telling him about the tragic loss of her mother, as well as the death of her close friend Tara. She tried to lighten the mood by telling him about Xander, her first crush, and even about Willow, sans the magicy stuff. As much as she hated keeping part of her life a secret, she knew it was the only way to keep him.

"I'm really sorry about your mom. Although I never knew my mother, I do understand what you feel. She died giving birth to me, and I've always felt a little guilty about my role in her death."

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you how not your fault it was. And that she's probably just happy that you are ok."

"Yeah, she told me that she loved me and wished that she could have been there for me."

"What?"

"Oh, um, in a dream. I know how stupid it sounds, but I felt like it really was her talking to me."

"I get that. I kinda had the same thing happen to me with my mother. So why don't you tell me some stuff about your family?"

Connor hated the thought of offering more information that he knew would be a lie. Even if he stuck to only the memories of his normal family life, since he now knew those to be fabricated memories, it would still be a lie. And everyday his memories, the real ones, became clearer.

"OK, I was adopted. I just recently met my biological father, but since I'm not supposed to know I'm adopted, out of respect for them, he and I don't really have a relationship." He figured this covered most of his bases in case she ever did meet his parents, the fabricated ones.

"So how long ago did you find out you were adopted?"

"About six months ago."

What more could he say to her. How could he tell her of the unspeakable things he had done to his father. Sinking him to the bottom of the ocean, taking away Cordelia, and simply being a vessel meant to destroy the world. That he had been sucked into a hell dimension where time moved faster, thus he was really only a few years old. It was all too crazy. He loved her and the thought of losing her because of a past that in no way shaped who he now was, devastated him and in its tight fist kept him silent.

"You look like you're getting sleepy. Do you want me to stay with you tonight?"

"Yes, but-"

"Dawn I'm not asking anything of you. I just know how you like to fall asleep in my arms, and I love watching you do it."

"OK, then yes, please stay."

Connor left Dawn, sliding out from under her without waking her up. They often spent the night together, but had yet to take things to the next level. Therefore he was getting good at sneaking out to release his pent up frustrations against the demon world. He didn't understand why he craved violence as a way to rid himself of her unrequited sexual hold over him. He had been going out every night lately, killing demons in numbers he at one time would have considered impossible. And they hadn't disappointed him, they were everywhere, and they were his to slaughter.

The man picked up the envelope that had magically appeared on his desk. He removed the contents, immediately knowing who they were from. It contained pictures of a young couple kissing. The pictures were accompanied by a note that simply said:

PROBLEM

He knew what needed to be done next.