Chapter 10

Loss of Innocence; Demonless Style

Dawn stood in front of the full length mirror in her dorm room admiring the beautiful and fairly expensive dress she had bought for her date tonight. She knew Buffy was going to kill her for using the emergency credit card, but wasn't this a type of emergency? Sure, not a demonic one, but when was a credit card going to come in handy while fighting the forces of evil? Besides, she really had needed this dress.

Connor said he was taking her to a new restaurant in town, one she knew was on the expensive side, thus the need for a new dress. She paired the dress with a pair of black strappy high heeled sandals that showed off her legs to perfection. The dress was more risqué than anything she had ever worn before, even more so than the outfit Buffy had caught her wearing at the bronze with that letterman jacket guy.

But it was sexy in a more subtle sophisticated way that she hoped Connor would like. It had a high neck and low back that fell to the lowest point of her back without being indecent. The only thing obscuring the nakedness was a long gemstone strap that fell from the top of the dress and swung lightly as she moved. Although extremely sexy from the back, it was more sedate in front. It fell in an angle cut of diaphanous layers that went from mid thigh to below her knee on the other side. She liked how it felt against her bare flesh, which was more flesh than usual, as she would have to go without a bra tonight. She figured Connor wouldn't mind.

When she heard the knock on her door, she drew in a deep breath and opened it expectantly. He was standing there in a beautiful black button down shirt and black slacks. He wore a long black leather trench over the ensemble, which confused her based on the tepid weather tonight. Her confusion quickly gave way to admiration of how sexy and roguish it made him look. There was a little bit of the bad boy in him that resonated Spike. Hadn't she had a crush on him at one time?

Connor admired the slinky black dress that showed off every delicious curve of her body. Her hair fell softly around her face, framing it exquisitely, the soft curls coming to rest mere inches above her breasts. No matter how many times he saw her, she still stole his breath. He couldn't imagine a time when she wouldn't. He stepped forward to give her a quick kiss, and moved his hand to her back to escort her down the hall. His hand came in startling contact with bare skin.

Oh God, her dress is back-less

He felt her jump slightly at his touch, and he pulled away to look into her eyes. He knew she had felt it too, the electricity that always sparked when they touched.

It was getting harder and harder to control his desire to devour her entirely. To finally know every minute detail of her body. But he respected her, and didn't push because he knew she wasn't ready. Every time they got close to having sex she pulled away from him. He never took it personally, she had explained she just wanted to be sure and that it happened at the right moment. He just wasn't sure how many more creatures of the night he could seek out to kill in order to quash the passions she stirred in him without release. At least the lack of sex in their relationship had served to keep the campus a safer place.

The food at the restaurant was wonderful, however the conversation was uncharacteristically lacking.

"Dawn, I am beginning to think I'm eating alone tonight. What's up? What's with the quiet?"

"I just, well, I just thought that tonight…never mind. Do you think we could just get the check and go?"

Now Connor was concerned. She was not acting at all like herself and seemed very anxious. He hoped the anxiety didn't have to do with him. Maybe it did. Perhaps she was trying to break up with him but couldn't find the words. Connor fell silent nearly brimming over with anxiety. They didn't say a word to each other on the way back to the dorm. He just kept praying every step of the way that she wasn't about to give him the big brush off.

However when they got to the door, all thoughts left him when she moved in to kiss him. She invited him into her mouth, deepening the kiss before he had the chance to. She backed up to lean against the door and pulled him closer, never removing her mouth from his. He moved his hand into her silky hair, and placed the other on her lower back. He added a small amount of pressure bringing her closer so that there was no space left between them.

He was coming undone

They had such a connection, unlike any he'd felt before. He lightly stroked her back and marveled at the way she trembled beneath his touch. It was then that he felt her open the door, her back still against it, pulling him into her room and the privacy it afforded them. She stumbled walking backwards, pulling him towards the bed. They fell onto it neither realizing they had come in contact with it until he had landed completely on top of her.

She started pulling at his shirt, ripping it and sending expensive buttons to the floor with quiet clinks. Her hands vibrated as they moved over his naked chest. He pulled back from her to look questioningly into her eyes for assurance that this was what she wanted and that she wanted to continue. His answer came in the form of her hand wrapping around the chain of his necklace, pulling him down so she could once again devour him with her mouth.

She couldn't believe she was doing this. All through dinner she had watched him, trying to find a way to tell him that she wanted to make love with him tonight. But she couldn't find the words. So she had just sat there barely touching her food or uttering a word that wasn't in response to a question. When they returned to her room she decided the best way to let him know, was to show him.

And it was.

The passion that had been building for months flowed through her and she couldn't seem to get close enough to him no matter how hard she tried. She needed more than his closeness. She simply needed him, completely. Dawn knew he would be gentle with her, and that he would stop, no matter how far along they were, if she asked him to. That is what had given her the confidence to initiate what would probably be the night she lost her virginity.

When she had pulled him on top of her and ripped off his shirt, she surprised herself with her aggressive behavior. But it felt good to let go and feel all her doubts subside in that moment. She knew that was the unspoken question she had seen in his eyes when he had pulled back from her briefly. Her distress at the lack of his heat against her skin quashed any apprehension she may have still held. In answer to his unspoken question she wrapped her hand in the chain of his necklace. She knew it must have held significant meaning to him, and thus she used it to bring his heat back upon her.

Connor reached behind her neck to unfasten the top of her dress and pull it down until it settled at her waist. She reached for him, to pull him back down against her. He stayed her movement, and brought her up against him, turning so that he now sat on the edge of the bed and she on his lap, her legs on either side of his. She dropped her head shyly at his inspection of her breasts. He knew that she had never been naked in front of a man before, and gently placed a finger beneath her chin to raise her eyes back up to his.

"You're so beautiful. You don't need to hide from me."

Her breasts were nicely proportioned to her body, and full with perfect shape. He reached up and took one in his hand, lightly brushing his thumb across her nipple, and felt her shudder in response. He raised her, so that her breasts were level with his mouth, and gently brushed soft kisses against her skin, before teasing her nipple with his tongue. He felt her arch back and heard her quick intake of breath. Her arch allowed his lips to travel lower; sexy collarbone, to the valley between her breasts, to the flat of her stomach, ending with a light lick of her navel. With strong arms he bent her farther and farther back, as he continued his journey.

He shifted her weight to one arm so that he could free a hand to travel down to her lower back. He moved deftly under the diaphanous layers of her dress, to stroke the curve of thigh touching bottom. He pulled her hips even closer to his, no distance between them; fabric their only obstruction. In one powerful movement he brought her chest hard against his, nearly knocking the breath from her as he ravished her mouth with his own. Both hands now cradled her hips and he helped her move them in rhythm to his tongue's raping of her mouth. She pulled back, shock in her eyes as she climaxed, still both covered from the waist down.

Dawn had been uncertain, shy, when he first looked upon her naked from the waist up. But the feeling dissipated with his loving words and appraising eyes. It was when he became less tender and more aggressive in his touch that the excitement began to boil over. The violent taking of her mouth and his strong hands on her hips, had her moving in concert; mimicking with her hips the wanton movement of his tongue in her mouth. The climax came unexpectedly, the rush of warmth invading every nuance of her body. It brought out the aggressor in her as she pushed him down on the bed in a blur of hurried movement towards nakedness. She was in awe at the feel of his hard muscular body against hers, every hard part of him. He pulled away suddenly, the passion in his eyes now combined with a seriousness she hadn't expected.

"Dawn, I need to know that you are sure. I don't want you to have regrets. Regrets could tear us apart, we can stop – now - and it won't change the way I feel about you."

Dawn reached up and placed her fingertips against his lips to stay further words. All she wanted was to be as close to him as two people could physically be. They had found intimacy in their words and emotions that those who had only been physically intimate would envy. But now this was their chance to be intimate body, heart, and soul. And she was ready.

"I want you Connor, I need you, now. I'm sure."

Connor began to slowly enter her. She winced and pulled back slightly. But as he began to pull away obviously afraid he was hurting her, she lifted her hips to pull him inside her in one quick motion. She tried to get closer, to melt into him, feeling he could never be close enough.

He moved her hands up slightly over her head and entangled his fingers with hers. In a blinding light they found completion, their mouths absorbing moans of pleasure. When he released her mouth, she slowly turned her head and gazed upon their still joined hands. A tear escaped the prison of her lids, to slowly travel the curve of her cheek.

His hand was holding hers

The most basic of intimacies sharing in the most intimate of all. She wanted to stay this way forever, her body singing beneath his own. She felt a bit lost at his retreat, until he pulled her close to his side. She wasn't sure how they started, but the sobs wracked her body, tears shed in thousands, coming in unending waves.

Connor pulled back quickly, holding her away from him, her face awash in tears. "Dawn what's wrong!" She sobbed as she tried to get the words out but couldn't. "Please - did I hurt you - are you sorry this happened – Oh God, Dawn I'm so sorry."

"I just - I just don't know how to let it go…all this stuff…this pressure inside. So many things colliding…. I'm so happy yet I can't breathe….I - I just –…God I love you so much, it hurts."

He hugged her close, lightly stroking her back, and reached down to pull the covers over them. He held on tight and felt her sobs subside and the deep breath of sleep take over. He leaned down and brushed a kiss against her forehead. "I love you too," he whispered.

For the first time since he met her, he didn't leave to go on the hunt. He laid there complacent, with her wrapped in his embrace, and allowed himself to join her in sleep.

The next morning he awoke to find her propped up on his chest, looking down at him with his necklace wrapped in her fingers.

"Why haven't you told me about this? You never take it off. I assume it must be special." Dawn pouted sweetly as she asked, "it's not from another woman is it?"

"No…"

"Seriously, I want to know everything about you, including the significance of this necklace."

"My father gave it to me. My real father. It's the only thing I have of his. He said he's had it for a long time, and that it means a lot to him. So I figure it means…"

"That you mean a lot to him too?" She had finished his thought, surprising him with her insight.

"You're the only one I've ever told. He thinks it's best if we keep our relationship a secret, and he's right. I just have a lot of questions and things I'd like to know about him. So you know, wearing the necklace helps me feel…

"Close to him?"

"Yeah. Stupid huh?"

"Not stupid at all. Now get up! I'm starving and you are buying me breakfast." She threw a pillow at him as she got out of bed and began to get dressed.