Why is Ahab always crazy?

A/N: No offence to any Ahabs out there. Hope you like this.

Disclaimer; I do not own the customers... or Naruto. And obvoiusly if I owned Dunkin' I would change the slogan. Nor does Balthazar own the rights to the song " Passion's Killing Floor." by HIM.(Balthazar runs away crying). I'm shocked...He's actually crying.(begins viseo taping).

And for Balthazar, his favorite portion to that song will be in here. They will be like this.

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Mr. Ahab walked towards his car. He was bound for the nearest coffee shop, Dunkin' Donuts. He turned the car on, the radio blasting music.

" My hearts a graveyard baby and to evil we make love on our passion's killing floor. In my arms you won't sleep safely and of lust we are re-born on our passion's killing floor."

He switched the radio off. he had to talk to his son about the stations he chooses.

He drove until he noticed in his tired state-of-mind a path of destruction leading from his usual Dunkin' Donuts. And he went insane when he saw the crater where Dunkin' Donuts used to be.

" I swear! I'll track down whoever destroyed my usual place of coffee consumption!!" He pulled out a harpoon out of nowhere and began to drive in the direction the object of Ahab's insanity.

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Manda had crushed one hundred after the big battle that was too intense that the authors had to bring in a friend to do a not-so-graphic battle scene. There were possibly a million throughout America. He slithered faster. The ninjas sat on the snake's back, tired after thousands of miles of traveling. Only the Minions-with-numbers kept pace next to the snake.

" Aparently no one has any complaints." Minion number one said.

" Hey you!" Someone shouted.

Number two sighed. " You never learn, do you?"

" Stop destroying me Dunkin' Donuts! Or I'll stick ya with me harpoon!" Manda kept slithering, ignoring the idiot shouting for him to stop.

Ahab, in rage, threw the harpoon. He missed the snake and hit one of the many ninjas sitting on its back. " Curses!" He shouted.

Minion number one sighed. " Do you want the honors?"

Number two smirked. " Yeah. For some reason my 'Disrespect of Passion's Killing Floor' senses are tingling with this guy."

" Then go get him." Number one said.

" I'll show you not to disrespect that song!" Number two shouted. But Ahab had already retrieved the harpoon, aimed, and fired. It hit Number two right in the chest. Number two gasped and died.

" Number two!" Number one shouted.

" Don't think about it." One of the ninja said. " We need your guidance and stuff. We'll avenge your brother's death after we cotrol America...or later. Depends on if we see this loser again. Besides, this story needs a villian to make this arc interesting."

" This is an arc?"

" Shhh!" The ninja whispered. " This is supposed to be a secret!"

Minion number one ran along side Manda.

" That's right. You run away!" Ahab shouted. " But I swear. I'll hunt you down. And when I catch you..." he chuckled at his own thoughts of kittens playing with a ball of yarn.

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A/N: Yes. I killed off an important charactor...and my brother. he wanted it... so... oh well.

Balthazar-Please R&R! I'm asking nicely now.