End of Innocence v2.0

By Dixxy

Chapter Four: Secret

I wandered around hopelessly for a long time. My mind was functioning correctly. All I could think about was what had happened. The scenes kept playing over and over in my head like a broken record player.

"You like this, Cye? Do you ENJOY me!"

"Sheila. . . please. . . STOP!"

I clutched myself, disgusted with myself and what had happened. Was that all I was good for now that the Dynasty had been defeated? Sheila's play toy? Was I really that. . . worthless? Is this what my destiny was doing to me now?

"That's it, cry little virgin. . . oh, I'm sorry, that isn't valid anymore, is it?"

I bit my lip to fight another onslaught of tears. I tried telling myself it was all just a bad dream and my alarm clock would go off any second. Just a few more seconds and I'd wake up and be rid of the dream. No, not a dream. Nightmare. Yes, yes, I was having a nightmare.

I wasn't paying any attention to where I was going. I didn't care where I was going. After all, if I WAS dreaming, then it wouldn't matter where I'd end up, since I'd just find myself in my room, curled up in my sheets, still a virgin, and without the pain of being raped.

BEEP! BEEP!

I looked up in time to see that I was standing the middle of the road, a tractor trailer headed straight for me. My feet froze in place- I couldn't move. I just stared, and I screamed as the bright white headlights of the vehicle took up my entire range of vision. I was going to die! After fighting a magic based war, being captured, being tortured, and now, being raped, I was going to die by means of getting run over by a truck? Oh, the irony!

"CYE!"

I felt something smack me in the side and shove me onto a patch of grass a few feet away from where the pavement ended. I closed my eyes, breathing heavily as more tears streamed down my face. My chest felt heavier than it should have. Someone was on top of me. Sheila. Sheila was going to, to. . .

I felt my shoulders being shook and opened my eyes. I saw a blurry figure with spots of green and red. Green and red. . . like Sheila. . . I thrashed out, desperate to get her away from me. Sheila was screaming at me, but somehow, her voice was. . . deeper. Stranger, yet more familiar.

I blinked a few times to see that instead of my rapist girlfriend sitting on top of me, it was Kojiro. "Cye!" he screamed. His ice blue eyes were wide with fear and concern for my well being. My lips quivered as I looked up at him. I'd tried to hurt him. And here he'd just saved my life. "Cye, what the hell happened to you?"

I couldn't answer. I broke down again, crying hysterically. Kojiro crawled off me and sat me up, letting me cry into his shoulder. I continued to cry, frightened, scared, and not really having the will to go on. The last thing I wanted was for someone, anyone to see me as I was as I sat there crying. Kojiro looked at me, unsure of what to do. He reached out to hug me, but I recoiled, shaking me head no, my arms crossed over my chest. Kojiro blinked in surprise.

"Cye. . ."

I vaguely remember Kojiro walking me somewhere. I was too busy crying into his shoulder to care where we went. The full affect of what had happened finally hit me. Sheila- my own girlfriend- had raped and beaten me. I had lost a huge chunk of my self pride and my dignity.

"Make yourself at home, Cye," I heard Kojiro calmly say. I looked up long enough to see I was in a strange living room. Nothing too fancy, nothing too conventional, just a living room. You know, television, couch, chairs, coffee table, etc.? Even with my mind in disarray, I figured out that Kojiro must have taken me to his home.

Kojiro led me over a few steps to the staircase and walked me upstairs. Each step I took reminded me that Sheila's room had been a second story of a home, too. No, this is Kojiro, NOT Sheila, K-O-J-I-R-O. He won't hurt you, I tried to reassure myself. God, why was everything reminding me of that. . . that witch?

My friend brought me into a brightly decorated room that must have been his room. The room was wallpapered in bright, vivid drawings of everything, ranging from animals to people to things that didn't even exist. Kojiro led me to an old, leg-less couch and sat me down. "Cye, what happened?"

I looked at Kojiro, tears still streaming from my eyes. "I, I don't want to talk about it," I said. I sniffled, curling myself into a ball, my arms wrapped around my knees. I started to rock myself, trying to console my aching, frightened being. I was appreciative that Kojiro had taken me inside, but right then. . . I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Fat chance," said Kojiro, holding up his hand. I saw blood.

"What happened to your hand?" I asked.

"I touched your back, that's what! The back of your shirt is soaked in blood!" he said. "This is YOUR blood. Cye, something bad happened to you and I want to know what it is. You dare try to tell me something isn't wrong when I find you wandering around in the middle of the street with a bloody back- no offense to your heritage- and crying your eyes out? Cye, please, talk to me. If you don't want me to tell anyone else, I won't. But I'm worried about you, dude."

I sniffled again, getting scared. "You'd laugh at me."

"LAUGH AT YOU?" said Kojiro. He stood up and started to yell. "Cye, someone just put you through some serious shit- uh, pardon my French- and you think I'm going to LAUGH at you!" He took in a few deep breaths as I shrunk back into the couch. I started to cry again, not liking the tone he was using with me. Kojiro sat down and hugged me. "Please. . . talk to me. . ."

I buried my face into his shoulder and quietly said what had happened. My voice was a raspy whisper, so low and hushed that my friend couldn't have possibly heard it. Kojiro blinked, not hearing me. He cocked his head to one side, looking for the answer. "I don't want to say it again," I said.

"Cye, I can't help you if you don't speak up," he said.

I bit my lip. "Sheila. . . she. . . she. . ."

"Did she break up with you?" asked Kojiro.

I shook my head. "No. . . if she only had. . ."

"What did she do to you, Cye?" asked Kojiro. "Just say it. Swallow hard, and say it."

I bit my lip, closing my eyes. "Sheila. . . she raped me."

The room went dead silent. Oh no. . . he thinks I'm some sort of a wimp now. . .

Kojiro was staring at me blankly. "She. . . she what?"

"She raped me, okay?" I said, loosing control. I stood up, waving my arms around. "She dumped some fruit stuff on me and it was really messy and I had to get cleaned up, so she told me to take a shower. I did, and then she decided that she wanted us to have sex, but I said no, and she forced me to do it!" I fell to my knees, crying into my hands. "I'm worthless, Kojiro. Don't you see? She sees me as some sort of a worthless whore and used me like one."

I was surprised to see Kojiro down at my side, hugging me. "It's okay, Cye. . . it's okay." He pushed my head down to his shoulder and started to gently rub the back of my neck. "If anyone is worthless, it's her, Cye. Trust me, you're anything but a whore and you never will be a whore."

More tears streamed down my cheeks as I listened to exactly what he was saying. "You. . . you don't think I'm. . ."

"No, of course not," said Kojiro. "Sheila did a God awful thing to you."

"You believe me? You actually believe all this!" I said. He believed me. Kojiro actually believed me!

"You're hysterical and you're hurt- one of the worst basket cases I've ever seen in my entire life. If you'd told me you'd been abducted by aliens I would've believed you," said Kojiro. Then, he narrowed his eyes. "You want me to call the police?"

I shook my head. "No! Don't call the cops!"

"Why not?" asked Kojiro. "Rape is a CRIME. She can go to JAIL for raping you."

"One, they wouldn't believe me like you are. Two, no matter how much the police try to cover it up, people are going to raise questions and someone's going to find out eventually. I, I'd never hear the end of it! Even if she were to go to jail I'd just be taunted and teased for the rest of my days here. I, I don't want those memories in addition to what's already happened," I said.

"Okay, we don't tell the police," said Kojiro. "Your friends?"

"Never let me out of the house again without a chaperone," I said.

Kojiro sighed heavily. "Okay. We tell no one. But are you sure that's a good idea?"
I nodded. "I, I can't go back to them," I said.

"Oh yes you can, Cye. You WILL go back to them. They'll get worried else wise. I won't force you to tell them what happened tonight, but you WILL go back to them," said Kojiro. He looked me over, then clicked her tongue. "But first, let's clean you up. You're a mess!"

"You haven't seen half of it," I said under my breath.

After letting me take a shower, Kojiro bandaged my back up after applying some stingy stuff that I didn't like. One of those sprays that the doctor uses that they tell you won't string but almost always does. "It's this or you get an infection. Your choice. If you get an infection, people will find out."

"Fine," I said. I then had to suffer another minute of the spray-can hell before my friend announced that I was done. I breathed a much needed sigh of relief and waited for Kojiro to completely finish the job- I still needed to be bandaged. Once Kojiro had wrapped up the majority of my torso in the long cloth bandages they use on athletes, he gave me an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts. "What are these for?"

"You're spending the night, aren't you?" he said. "The clothes you had on you are in the wash. Tomorrow you can change back into them for when you go home. Just tell your friends that you and Sheila got into a bad fight, so you went to spend the night at your good old buddy Kojiro's place."

I smiled. "Why are you being so understanding about all this?"

"Because you're a nice guy," he said. "You didn't deserve what you got."

"What makes you say that?" I asked.

"You're not a troublemaker, for one. You get along pretty well with everyone, and aside from the fact you were dating you-know-who, no one seemed to have anything against you," said Kojiro. He smiled. "Don't worry- everything's going to be okay."

"Thank you for everything you've done tonight," I said. "I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't stepped in."
"I know what you would've done- died. You nearly got hit by that truck. Had you somehow managed to avoid it, you might've done something equally stupid," said Kojiro. "I'd tell you what they were, but I don't want to give you any ideas."

"I'm not suicidal," I said. "I, I want to live."

"Good boy," said Kojiro, patting my head. "Now, let's get a cot set up for you. I think my mom keeps them in the closet down the hall."

"Your mom? What about your dad?"
"Died when I was like, five. Right now she's on her honeymoon with my new stepfather," said Kojiro. He sounded bitter as he spoke.

"You don't like your stepfather?" I said.

"I don't think he likes me, either. And like I DID anything to him!" said Kojiro. He sighed heavily, leaning up against a dresser. "But let's not dwell on my problems- you have some more dire ones."

"I understand how you feel," I said. "My father died before I was born, but my mother never remarried."

Kojiro looked at me in shock. "You never had a father figure?"

"Well, I did for a while. When I came over here from England, I lived with Kento's family for a few years," I said. "Still, I've always wondered. . ."

"I'm sure that wherever he is. . . he's watching you," said Kojiro.

I smiled at the thought. "Thank you, Kojiro."

"Not a problem."

Two weeks passed since the rape. I was trying to hide any clues or signs that it had happened. I refused to take my shirt off, I went a few meals without eating, and lost interest in cooking. I spent a lot more time in my room than I usually did, normally crying or looking out the window, wondering why it had happened.

Kojiro was working wonders to help me conceal it. After the first week, he took me out explaining we had to work on a project. In reality, he brought me to a teen health clinic. Once there, he told me that I should worry about STDs. If Sheila was willing to rape me, chances are she wasn't a virgin, and where I had no idea how many past partners she had, I could have been in serious trouble. He made it a habit to bring me there ever so often, since some diseases take longer to show up than others.

Turns out Kojiro had a good idea there. Sheila hadn't given me anything, which made me feel EXTREMELY lucky. I could've gotten some nasty diseases from what happened that I didn't want to try and deal with. How was I going to explain to one of the guys why I had medicine for some disease that's most commonly contracted sexually if I was supposed to be abstinent?

Back at school, Sheila was making things even harder.

"Hello, Cye."

I had been standing at my locker when I heard Sheila from over my shoulder. I froze, getting scared. "Y, yes?"

Sheila grabbed me collar seductively. "It's a Friday night, Cye. How about if you come over my house tonight?"

I didn't know WHAT to do. I knew what she had plans to do, but I was afraid to say no to her. What to do, what to do!

"Sorry, Sheila, Cye and I already have plans tonight, right Cye?" I looked up to see that Kojiro had come to my rescue. "Guy movie, right?"

"Right," I said, playing along. Sheila gave us both dirty looks, narrowed her eyes, and stomped off indignantly. I turned to Kojiro. "Thank you," I mouthed. Kojiro nodded.

"Just so she doesn't try anything stupid, meet me tonight at six over by the cinema. We'll at least FAKE going to a movie," he said. I nodded, happy about that arrangement. I got out of getting into MORE trouble, and, I got to catch a movie with my friend. There wasn't much more I could've asked for.

Two more weeks passed. My recovery was going more smoothly now, some of my breakdowns and unusual behaviors more controlled than they had been. Any suspicions my friends had were dying down, much to my relief.

But something else happened that no one expected.

One day, Sheila disappeared.

Well, it's not like she was a missing person, but she wasn't coming to school anymore. According to some of the older students, she'd been transferred to another school a few cities away. I breathed a sigh of relief- Sheila was gone from my life forever. I wouldn't have to worry about her for what seemed like forever. I could go on with my life like she'd never entered it. I was finally going to go back to normal.

Oh, how very wrong I was. . .