A/N: 99 "can't sleep because of too much homework but too lazy to actually do it and so now I decided to write."
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A pair of lavender eyes greeted him. He blinked. "Nani?"
"Eat!" baby Tamaki exclaimed happily. "Nii-chan! Eat!"
Kyouya sat up and grabbed his alarm clock. "Tamaki, it's three in the morning. You can eat at 6." He answered, getting ready to sleep again. The baby crawled out of his bed and proceeded to the stairs of his bedroom. The shadow king grabbed the blond kid before he hurt himself.
"What on earth are you doing?!"
"Kitchen?" Tamaki answered innocently.
Kyouya glared at him, "troublesome kid."
"Fine." He answered as he carried the baby then retrieved his glasses from the night table. "What do you want to eat?"
"Cookie!"
"Tamaki, it's too early for sweets." He replied as they descended down the spiral staircese, which led to the mansion's hallway. The shadow king looked around, trying to figure out something.
"Ice?" Tamaki played with the button on the brunet's pajama. He tried to put it in his mouth.
Kyouya moved the kid away from his top. "Really, are you that hungry? And no ice cream." He eyed the hallway again then gave up. He looked at the kid who looked back at him.
"I don't know where the kitchen is." He admitted.
Tamaki stared at him strangely then pointed to the entry behind the stairs.
The shadow king closed his eyes in understanding. "That's right, Onee-chan and Tamaki loved mooching commoner food from our kitchen." Her sister had commissioned their chef to prepare commoner food once a week especially for them. Of course Tamaki would know where the kitchen is.
He opened the metal door and stared. This was the first time he ever set foot in the Ohtori kitchen. As expected, it had everything a modern, rich household kitchen should have.
He set the ochibi down the kitchen counter. "Stay there or you'll fall. Just tell me what you want." He told the kid while he opened the gigantic fridge and studied the contents. "Do you want salad?" The brunet asked.
"No! Cookie! Nii-chan cookie!" Tamaki shouted, he pointed to a drawer in the counter.
Kyouya eyed him. The walked toward the pantry and opened it.
A Tupperware full of big fat chocolate chip cookies the size of Kyouya's hands.
"Who eats this stuff?" he thought as he turned the Tupperware upside down, looking for a name.
Tamaki Suoh.
"Eh?" he looked at the boy, "You asked our chef to bake you cookies?!" He shook his head, "Really, can this guy get any more familiar?"
"Picnic!"
Sou ka. The host club had an "indoor" picnic last week. Which really doesn't explain anything. He didn't notice the cookies at all. Maybe it was forgotten?
Who cares?
Kyouya opened the container and held it out to the baby.
The baby host club king took the biggest cookie.
"Glutton."
He watched as the blond kid break the choco chip into two and before Kyouya could understand his intention, Tamaki offered the bigger half to him, his lavender eyes smiling happily at the shadow king.
"Share?"
The brunet took the cookie, "Hai. Arigatou."
He nibbled the chocolate and watched his baby friend bit into his own choco-chip, crumbs cling to his chubby cheek. Kyouya swiped a tissue on the kitchen counter and wiped the chocolate at the side of the baby's face. Then he filled a plastic cup with water and offered it to the child.
"I can't believe I'm doing this." He thought as he watched the baby drink water after eating.
"Bed?"
The shadow king studied him, "Can you speak in sentences?" He asked, the child looked like he was going three years old but Kyouya wasn't sure.
"Hai. Uve you." The baby told him, raising his arms to the brunet and looking sleepy.
Kyouya patted the blond hair and gave a little smile. "Mataku."
---
"HOHOHOHOHOHOHO! I had to reprint 14 times! Everyone wants a copy of Kyouya-sama with Tama-chan!" Renge reported from above her high-powered motor (vehicle?). "This month's issue of Ouran Host Club journal is a major success! Everybody wants Tama-chan!"
"Ah!" Hikaru reacted, "It's all pictures of Tamahome and Kyouya-senpai."
Kaoru looked from behind his brother. "Sou desu ne! What about us?"
"It's a special edition! You must not get in the way of pedophilic love!" Renge explained while dancing around her high-rise platform. "MOE!! MOE! MOEEEEEE!!!!"
"Takashi. Is Kyou-chan a pedophile?" Haninozuka Mitzukuni faced his cousin.
"…"
"Yare yare."
Kyouya skimmed through the magazine. The cover was of him with Tamaki kissing him on the nose. The centerfold was something he couldn't remember.
A picture of Tamaki nuzzling his neck, blond hair, in contrast to Kyouya's dark one.
"How humiliating." He thought, but reflected on it, "On the other hand, it sells."
He raised his head and looked the otaku, "How much was the generated income?"
Renge grinned evilly then declared an amount.
"NANI?!" the Host Club chorused.
Haruhi's eyes widened.
"We can buy a mansion with that!" Kaoru exclaimed.
"And lots and lots of cake! Ne Takashi?"
"Ah."
"Heh. Tono would be miserable. The club's highest income ever and he wasn't the cause! Sugoi Okaasan!" Hikaru declared.
The shadow king smirked. "As expected of Renge-kun."
"Of course! It's a managers job to capture every delicate, wonderful moment of our hosts." She told the brunet, "A 2nd edition is already on the works! It has pictures of Tama-chan crying while Kyouya-sama comforts him!"
"Sou ka." The shadow king answered, secretly dreading the said issue.
"I guess everyone loves this side of you senpai." Haruhi told him.
"What side?"
"The caring, concerned side."
Kyouya gave her the infamous 'merit' smile. "Profit."
Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I should have known."
---
The shadow king watched the baby play with his little piano. Kyouya taught him the Doremi's and a few nursery rhymes. To his credit, Tamaki can now play the entire "Happy birthday" and "Mary had a little lamb" pieces.
"I need something else to occupy him." he looked around. Baby Tama-chan would panic once he realizes the identity of the person they're waiting for.
They were at the Nekozawa-mansion waiting for the cat lover to appear.
Someone opened the door. Kyouya stood up.
"Good evening, Ohtori-kun." A wheezy voice interrupted Tamaki's concert. The baby immediately stopped playing and run to hide behind the shadow king.
"Good evening. Well?" He asked, direct to the point.
Nekozawa smiled at the golden hair and lavender eyes peeking from behind the brunet's pants. "Good evening, Suoh-kun." He greeted, stepping forward and moving Belzeneff in front of the traumatized baby.
Tamaki's chin wobbled. He tightened his hold on Kyouya's pants and looked up to the brunet. "Kitty nii-chan kowaii!" he cried.
"Hai. Hai." Kyouya answered as he raised the boy. Tamaki immediately buried his face on "nii-chan's" chest, refusing to even glance at "kitty nii-chan."
"We're going to soak him in cat blood."