Disclaimer: I do not own CCS.
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Legally Disguised
Chapter 3: The Legal Lost Memories
Melody Number Three:
I felt a little selfish
Smiling
While you were forgetting
--
It's really weird how things turned this way. Because it seemed that Syao-chan not only does 'not remember' me, he remembers no one. No one else. He doesn't even remember who he himself is for that matter.
When he woke up, it was quite a shock. But not because he didn't remember me, since he wasn't suppose to remember anyways, but he didn't remember Eriol, which is someone who he was suppose to remember. Even then, even though I know that he wasn't suppose to know of my existence, I couldn't help be feel a little sad when he asked me who I was. I mean, wouldn't it break you heart if the one you loved, liked or just simply had a crush on asked who you are? Wouldn't it just rip your heart right in half?
But it was really weird how he didn't seem to remember Eriol, or me for that matter, so we had to inform the doctor about this. And guess what? It seems that Syao-chan has a temporary memory loss for when his car crashed, and he seemed to bump his head off the steering wheel or something!
I think I might be a little selfish for feeling this way. I'm somewhat happy that he temporarily forgot everything. Because this way, I can be with him a little longer.
Even if it's just for a limited time.
I want to be with him a little longer.
"Sakura?"
I turned my head slightly and my eyes locked with those sapphire orbs.
We just got out of the doctor's office. He just explained to us about Syao-chan's temporary memory loss after he did a quick check up. And now we're heading back to Syao-chan's room.
"Don't think about it too much. It's just temporarily memory loss."
I know Eriol-san is trying to comfort me. But it doesn't exactly make me feel any better. Was it supposed to make me feel any better? Those words to me just seemed like words you would say to someone that you cared for. Just simply to show that you care. But it doesn't make them feel better. It just can't.
Especially for me anyways.
Besides, do I want him to recover his memories?
Do I really want him to know that I never existed in his life before?
We both stopped in front of Syao-chan's door that led to his room, with him on the other side. I hesitantly stared at the door knob.
But he doesn't remember me.
I felt a light pat on my shoulder, and looker over to see Eriol-san giving me a small smile. Then he reached over to the doorknob and opened the door for me.
Oh Kami-sama! If Eriol-san wasn't here then I might have really run away this time!
As the door swung open and landed with quiet thud against the wall, I saw Syao-chan snap his head in our direction with a slight frown on his face. Looking down at the ground, I followed in after Eriol-san.
I followed Eriol, but while he sat on the chair, I stood behind him staring down at my shoes. Do I look like a bad little girl waiting to be punished?
"You're Li Syaoran and I'm your cousin," Eriol stated.
The doctor already told Syao-chan about his condition, except he had us come to the office so he can it explain it more thoroughly to us, and tell us faster ways for Syao-chan to recover his memory.
But did I want that…?
That was the question.
Suddenly, I felt an intense gaze settle on me. Looking up, my emerald eyes met amber orbs. I quickly looked back down.
Kami-sama! Why is he staring at me for?
But it seemed Eriol-san knew what Syao-chan wanted to know.
"She's Kinomoto Sakura, your fiancée."
Peeking up at to look at Syao-chan's reaction, I mentally winced when his head snapped to Eriol-san's direction before he turned back to me and looked between us.
"I'm… engaged?" Syao-chan murmured to himself. "And… I don't even remember a single thing…"
"Its okay," Eriol started. "Remember, the doctor said temporary memory lost, that means that you'll eventually remember. No need to rush."
Yep, no need to rush…
I felt an intense gaze on me again.
"Sa… kura?"
He said my name. Oh my gosh! He said my name! I never knew that he'd actually say my name one day. Sure, I hoped, but I always doubted it. Wow… I never knew such a little thing could make me so happy. Just so happy…
Looking up slowly, my eyes locked with his. Our gaze never faltered.
"H-hai?" I squeaked out.
What a bad first impression I just made! Why am I so nervous...?
"Are you mad?"
My eyes widened slightly as I took a step back.
He was worried if I was mad or not? Why is he even thinking of such a thing! Me mad at him! Sounds so impossible!
"Are you?" He asked again.
Out if the corner of my eye, I saw Eriol-san smirk. What the-
"Are you?" He persisted.
I gave him a small smile.
"Iie, why would I be?" my voice came out so gentle and I seemed to doubt that I was the one that actually talked. I took two steps forward and our eye contact never broke.
"I thought… you'd be mad a me," Syaoran said slowly, a sad smile creeping to his lips. "Because I forgot. I forgot everything. Whether it be our memories together or our love. I can't help but feel a bit guilty."
My eyes slowly watered up at his confession. Even if he really didn't know me, even if he thinks he forgot, he feels guilty about forgetting. He's such sweet guy…
I stepped forward and sat the bed next to him.
"It's not your fault; you don't need to be guilty."
I heard the sound of a quiet chair scraping against the floor that was soon followed by the opening and closing of the door. I think Eriol left us, but I'm not to sure. I didn't want to look away.
"But… are you sure?" Syaoran wondered, still uncertain.
"I'm sure silly," I said, with much confidence while my smile broadened.
Finally breaking our eye contact, my eyes darted around the room before a pulled Syaoran to a light embrace. I felt Syaoran hesitate before he lightly wrapped his arms around my waist.
I closed my eyes feeling content.
I've always wanted to do this.
Was I too abrupt though? Maybe I really shouldn't have hugged him. It is a little too soon. But I can't help it. It… just feels so right. And I don't really want it to stop.
And my cell phone rang.
Damn.
Who ever is calling me right now, I'm so going to kill later.
Letting go of Syaoran, I stood up avoiding eye contact. Flipping open my side bag, I reached in and grabbed my cell phone out. I glared at the screen.
Tomoyo-chan
Calling
Then I eyed the screen. Tomoyo couldn't have… made a new batch of clothes for me has she?
Slowly, I pressed the talk button and pressed the phone to my ear.
"Moshi moshi?"
"Saki-chan! Where have you been all day! I stopped by your house today and you weren't home."
"Well…"
Let's see… telling the truth won't hurt right?
"I went for a walk."
What? I'm telling her the truth… just not the whole truth. She doesn't need to know that I'm Mr. Dream Guy's fake fiancée just yet…
"Uh-huh," Tomoyo replied back, sounding unconvinced. "To watch Mr. Dream Guy again? For four hours?"
I glanced at the wall with a clock ticking.
"Yup."
Now that, I am not lying. I just didn't get to watch him the whole time.
"Wow," Tomoyo responded, still somewhat doubtful but nonetheless amused. "That's a record Saki-chan!" There was a moment of silence on the other side, but then I suddenly heard a loud crash and muttered curses.
"Tomoyo…?" I asked, worried about what happened on the other side of the phone.
"Don't worry about it," Tomoyo replied a few seconds later, clearly, amusement laced in her voice. "Touya's just throwing fits because you were missing for more than the usual one hour. He almost called the police to file in a missing person's report."
"The police?"
So what if I was missing for an extra three hours…?
"Uh-huh, but luckily I stopped him in time."
I sighed with relief.
"What will I ever do without you Tomoyo-chan?"
"Hmm… I'm not sure myself. But maybe you'll break because you only found out how precious I was to you after I'm gone and walk aimlessly on the streets and then a car hits you since you weren't looking where you were going! And while dying on the streets you think, 'I can finally join Tomoyo-chan."
Wow.
"I'm sorry Tomoyo-chan, but I don't think that'll happen since you're just not really precious."
Right after I said the last word, I heard a loud crash of someone falling to the ground and the phone went down with the person creating a much more lively sound.
I grinned evilly to myself.
"Saki-chan! How could you?!"
"But Tomoyo-chan, I just did!"
Silence.
"Saki-chan, honey, come home before I accidentally find you, with a knife in my hand, and accidentally trip, landing right on top of you with the knife through your heart!" Tomoyo replied back to me enthusiastically, her voice dripping with fake honey.
Fake honey?
I involuntarily shivered.
It was always scary when Tomoyo used that voice. Like she would really carry out the indirect (but yet direct) threat she gave me. Which I'm sure she would if I didn't condemn to her orders though… So what will be her reaction when I tell her about Syaoran? And me, the supposedly fiancée?
Sudden fiancée.
"Hai, wakatta."
And me, Sakura coward shall follow her orders, since she does not want to die early yet.
Forget that death threat earlier. The tables seemed to have turned on me!
"Dewa, ja ne!" Tomoyo chirped joyfully.
"Ja…" I mumbled back.
Sighing, I turned my cell phone off. I seriously don't need another phone call from Tomoyo. Or anyone else. First, I should release my steam while coming home. Yes, release steam first…
Shoving the cell phone in my bag, I turned around and looked at Syaoran who was staring expectantly back at me.
Why do I have to leave him for?! I don't want to leave!
But disobeying Tomoyo would mean my life. And just when I was getting to know Syao-chan too…!
I quickly stole a glance at Syaoran.
"Gomen ne," I apologized, bowing down slightly. I just can't look at him! "I have to go, and I'm not sure when I can come back either."
Standing back up, I gave him a small smile.
"It's okay."
Why does he have to be so understanding?! I can't live like this much longer… I think.
"Ja."
Looking at the ground, I quickly made it to the door, half walking, and half running. I heard a faint 'Ja' behind me before turn the door and closing it behind me. I leaned against it.
Sighing, I took one step forward but bumped into someone. Looking up, I saw Eriol-san smiling down at me.
Holy crap!
Squeaking a little, I took and step back and crash into the door.
Oops.
"Sorry there."
Looking back up again, I gave him a weak smile.
"It's okay," I replied back. "I get scared easily."
He nodded at my answer and looked me up and down.
"Sakura, do you have a job?" he asked.
Did he just ask if I have a job? Is he going to offer me one? But wait…! I don't really want people go around saying that I only got this job because of connections…
"No…"
But I still really need a job. I've been slacking off for three months already at home and Touya is beginning to get tired of me. The only reason why he isn't doing anything is because I'm doing all the chores. Including his.
Eriol nodded again at my answer and he seemed to be thinking deeply before he opened his mouth.
"Where did you graduate from? And majoring in what?"
Is he investigating me?
"I graduated from Tokyo University, majoring in Music…" I replied back slowly. I have no idea what he's up to now!
"TU eh…?" He mumbled, giving a half hearted nod again. Grinning he looked at me. "But isn't going to TU expensive?"
Yup. Going to TU was expensive, since it's a university and also one of the best universities, which usually only the super smart people and dash or rich people can enter. But it wasn't really for me, since I was gifted in music. Well, just to the violin, flute and piano anyways.
"Well…"
The truth hurts, no?
But this is something I should be proud of!
"I received a full scholarship if I go to TU."
Ahh… I remember the days when I always bragged to my friends about it…
"Interesting."
Interesting indeed.
A scholarship for music was already weird enough, but a full scholarship?
"Can you compose music?" Eriol asked.
"Somewhat," I replied back, giving a nervous laugh.
"Well, I'm the president of the Li Corporation, and one of our composer just recently quit. Do you want the position?"
He is offering me a job! My god! The late nights I stayed up looking for a job!
Well, its pretty hard getting a job majoring in Music though.
"Um… compose music for what?"
I need to know! What if they compose stuff for… for… dirty stuff…!
Wait… isn't Li Corporation a big, really big company or something?
"Well, the Li Corporation does many different things, but as a composer, you'll be supplying music to the CMs and dramas we film or perhaps sponsor. Maybe if in the future we create a game, then you'll also be responsible to providing music to the game."
Oh, composing music like that eh…
Sounds hard.
"But…"
I still don't really want this job so easily though. Even if it's on a golden tray, just waiting for me to take it. People will talk behind my back, that I'm no good. The only reason why I was able to get this job is because I had connections.
I don't like that.
"Are you scared that people will say that you have connections?"
What! How does he know what I'm thinking…?
"Don't worry about that, I wasn't going to give this job to you this easily anyways."
He wasn't?
"Because as a composer, you have to be able to produce the music that fits the mood, atmosphere, the character, etcetera. So I need you to compose a piece for this job. It could be a solo, duet, or even a whole instrumental. You don't need to be the one playing it though, it could be someone else, or just a playing on the computer. Give it to me when you're done, and I'll give it to the staff so they can listen to it. And if they feel that you're good enough, then you get the job."
Oh, so he wasn't offering me a job on a golden tray!
This seems like such a complicated process.
"I see."
"Here's my business card. Give me a call when you're done."
Handing me the business card, I merely glanced at it to be polite, and then put it in my bag.
"Arigatou," I told him. Really, I am. I'm finally getting a job!! Well, as long as the staff likes my music though. "But I have to go now though. I'm not sure when I can make it back here."
"Got it."
"Ja."
"Ja."
-O-o-O-
"Saki-chan!"
After I left the hospital, I wanted to get some fresh air. And have some time to myself to think things over. Although, after a while I just gave up and took a taxi home since the walk would to be tiring and long.
This was one of the biggest turns in my life that changed everything in my life forever. The first one being when Okaa-san passed away when I was nine years old. I was old enough to know the meaning of death, but too young to have her Okaa-san leave her forever. I still remember. I was rather lonely.
After school ended, my friends' parents would always come to pick them up. But I just had Otou-san. I know he was doing everything he could in place of Okaa-san, but it just wasn't the same. I don't know if I was jealous of the kids back then though. I don't remember that. But if I was, then I guess rather silly. And selfish. Ignoring all the things that Otou-san was doing. It was already hard enough to take care of two children on your own, but he also stayed home regularly, especially for me since I was still small. All the little things that he did, and sacrificed for his family after Okaa-san died. Perhaps he realized how important his family was?
But I was blind back then. And now I still can't even help him one bit. But I guess I took a load off his shoulder after I received the full scholar ship to Tokyo University. And did I mention that Touya also received a pretty good scholar to TU too?
But of course it wasn't as good as mine. He majored in Business Management, and now is employed at a small company, making pretty good money and taking a more of a load off Otou-san's shoulders.
Just wait Touya… one day I'll make more money than you! Hah!
And the second turn was when I met him. And no, I'm not talking about Syaoran. Unlike Syaoran he's the biggest, fattest, ugliest, liar, cheater, freaking bastard in the entire universe!!
Just thinking about him makes my head hurt.
Just thinking of name makes me get a heart attack.
Just thinking of his face, makes me want to go jump off a bridge with a never ending bottom.
A bottomless fit.
Where I'll keep falling down forever.
And no one will come to catch me.
Save me.
And now my third turn. It wasn't when I met Syaoran. Because under these three categories: love, lust and obsession, I can't deny that I was simply obsessed with him. Maybe even back then when I thought that I loved him, it was just obsession. Because I want to love. And maybe even to be loved. But it seemed just like an impossible dream. Especially for some like me.
Just impossible.
But maybe, just maybe, when I lied back then and got onto the ambulance with Syaoran, it was really my third turn. Or was it when Syaoran woke up and looked at me and talked to me? But I don't really think it really matters anymore, it was one or the other. Because right now, all I can do is go forward. Take one step at a time because there's no going back, even if I wanted to.
But the option of running away has never left my head. Even if I was just thinking of this subconsciously.
"Mou, Saki-chan!"
"Eh?"
Looking around, I spotted a pair of amethyst eyes staring at me suspiciously.
"Nani?" I came home like she asked me to… then what did I do wrong?
No wait, what did I do wrong this time?
"Saki-chan, you suddenly dazed out on me while I was talking to you," Tomoyo replied, pouting at me. And then she tilted her head to the side a little bit, and still continued to stare at me.
"Ah, gomen."
Well, I wasn't planning on apologizing, since it don't it was really necessary, but since kept staring at me, and after a few minutes of silence… I couldn't take it anymore!!
"Daijoubu!" Tomoyo exclaimed before dragging me the stairs, and while passing by the living, I looked in to see Touya glaring at me. Hoee!
I suppose I'll get a lecture from later?
But before I knew it, I was pushed onto my bed, with an outfit on my lap.
Tomoyo really did make a new batch of clothes for me… shouldn't she being throwing this in her shop instead?
"I just made this outfit! And I thought it was perfect for you Saki-chan! What do you think? Try it on!"
"Demo…"
"Mmm?" Tomoyo cocked her head to one side staring at me. "What's wrong?"
"Ehh, well… You see…"
Tomoyo nodded at me.
"Go on."
Hmmm, which piece of information should I tell Tomoyo? Which? Such a hard decision.
"I… got offered a job!"
Well, this is the most innocent little information. And Tomoyo won't kill me. Yet anyways. I'll just find the perfect chance to tell her the fiancée thing later I guess…
"Oh my gosh! Omedetou!" Tomoyo squealed before hugging me, lifting off my bed while she was at it. Wow, she's strong! Why didn't I notice before?
After Tomoyo retracted herself from me, I noticed a glint in her eyes. Her face seemed happy yet sad at the same time.
"I can't believe I wasn't there to see your first job offer!"
She paused for a minute.
"Offer?"
She stared at me quizzically.
"Uhh… well, there's a catch. I got an offer from the Li Corporations to-"
"Saki-chan! Li Corporations is one of the biggest companies in the world! How on earth did you get an offer?"
"But Tomoyo, isn't the Daidouji Line one of the biggest fashion labels in the world?"
"Well there's a difference."
Difference? They're both companies. And they're both doing business.
"You see, the Daidouji Line is designated to fashion only and fashion alone. We will on create clothes, with a few exceptions of accessories like shoes or purses. But the Li Corporation is not only designated to one thing. They do advertisement, create games, etcetera. Although most of the stuff they do is mainly technology. They apparently started out in Hong Kong, but became so successful that they eventually branched out all over the world, and they have so much business deals that it's hard to keep count."
Tomoyo sighed.
"Now mom is trying to do a deal with the Li Corporation too. Something about advertising, she said she'll open a conference on it and I have to attend too. But I just want to design..."
Tomoyo stayed solemn a bit longer before her eyes suddenly brightened.
"So what kind of job position was offered?" Tomoyo asked. Enthusiastically.
Wasn't she just sad a few minutes ago?
Mood swings?
"Music composer."
Silence.
"But, Saki-chan, you graduated as a music student, you only took like one or two classes on composing as a minor."
I shrugged my shoulders.
"Well, he did say that I have to compose a piece before I can actually get the job. And the piece has to pass all of the staff's permission first."
So much trouble over a piece of music…
A shiver went down my back. Tomoyo was staring at me.
Did she figure out that I have more secrets yet to tell her…?
"So that's your excuse for not trying on my outfit?" She asked, eyeing me.
Phew!
"H-hai…"
Tomoyo beamed.
What the…?
"Don't worry about it Saki-chan! I'm happy that you found a job! You better get going on composing a good piece! And then I can dress you up in your business attire!" Star appeared in Tomoyo's eyes.
But then she suddenly smirked.
"And make more money than Touya."
Hoee! I better start thinking of a piece to write!
Tomoyo and her case of mood swings…
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A.N: Uhh... well... sorry for the long wait for this chapter! I was busy, and add a little case of writer's block, equals a longer update. I'll try to make the next one as quick as possible!! But I don't think I'd be able to update today if I didn't decide to not make a little cliffie. I just love cliffies so much. Well, when I write it anyways. Hehehe. So here is chapter three! A little longer than usual just to make up for the long update!
And thank you for the reviews! I had fun reading them. Let keep them coming! XD Oh, and excuse me any mistakes, I just looked over it once quickly. And I also realized some of the characters are rather OoC. Did I mention how hard was it to write the scene between Sakura and Syaoran. Hope it was okay. XD
Now, just click that little go button down there...