Title: Expecting
Rating: PG-13 for snogging (Yes, the rating has just gone up; sorry.)
Warnings: MPREG
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters within this story. I do this for fun, not for profit.
Summary: Now living with his godfather and Remus, Harry doesn't take the news of an impending arrival to the family well. Post PoA AU. MPREG SBRL slash
Chapter Summary: All is not well in the Potter-Lupin-Black household. Neither child, nor adult, is safe from their own insecurities.

Notes: Thank you so much to all of my reviewers! You have no idea how much they mean to. : Some explanation as the the living situation/AUness of this universe will be given in this chapter, and more will be explained in the next.

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Later that evening, after a tensely quiet supper, Harry found himself lying back in his bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what he'd be doing right at that moment had they not found Pettigrew at the end of his school year.

Probably with the Dursleys, locked in his bedroom and wondering how he'd ever get his summer homework done.

As it was, he was wondering if it might be better for everyone involved if he just went back to the Dursleys, anyway. Sirius and Remus wouldn't want him around; he was too much of a risk to be living with them. Somehow, trouble always managed to find him and he really didn't want Remus or Sirius to be in any danger. He was happy to be with them, to be so easily accepted by them, but soon they would have their own family. It wouldn't be fair to put them in danger from Voldemort's followers just because he didn't want to deal with the Durselys for a few measly months out of the year. It was rather selfish of him, he thought, to put them through this just for him.

He just wasn't sure he had the courage to bring it up to either one of them. He didn't want them to think he didn't want to live with them, that he wasn't grateful that they wanted him to live with them. Especially Sirius. Sirius had been very insistent in getting Harry to move in with him.

After a long, drawn-out argument with Dumbledore, Sirius had finally convinced the old wizard to allow Harry to move in with them. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if he seemed ungrateful for the work they had put in to ensure Harry's safety in this beautiful little home.

And it was a home. It was the first place besides Hogwarts that Harry had ever felt comfortable enough to call home. The Dursleys' house had never been a home. How could it have been? He lived in a cupboard for ten years; that wasn't a home.

Dumbledore had even gone through the trouble of setting up the Fidelius charm around the property to ensure their safety. How could Harry just throw that back in everyone's faces?

No, Harry would just have to suck it up and wait for one of them to say something, for them to tell him that he wasn't welcome back next summer because of the danger he posed to their child.

Merlin, their child. Harry wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. A man, getting pregnant. That was a bigger shock than finding out he was a wizard. At least, for that, there was some sort of precedent. He knew he had done strange things in the past and couldn't explain how. That was weird, but not overly so. This? This was just so strange. Harry really didn't know what to think.

With a twist of his blankets, Harry dragged the covers up over his shoulders and rolled in his bed to find a comfortable spot. He would dwell on this later; for now, he just wanted to pretend that Remus and Sirius never told him anything today. Harry just did not want to think about it.

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Dinner was done and over with; Harry was up in his bedroom after not speaking a single word to neither Sirius, nor Remus, all day. Sirius wasn't sure as to what was bothering the boy, but if he was still acting that way in another day or two, he would have to find out what was going on. He was sure, however, that it was nothing, that their news had just shocked him into silence.

After sending Remus off to read, or whatever it was he wanted to do after dinner, Sirius set to work cleaning the kitchen. He was glad to have his wand back. He no longer felt so vulnerable, so naked. Now, with a simple swish and flick, the dishes were scraping themselves into the trash, the sink was filling with soapy water, and the leftovers were loading themselves into little tins.

This mess would be cleaned up in no time at all. He was actually glad he had chased Remus off. It was nice to feel useful, to put his new wand to good use.

Quickly finishing up downstairs, Sirius walked upstairs and into the bedroom he shared with Remus, only to find the man sitting at the edge of their bed, arms wrapped around his middle, defensively hugging himself. Sirius knew from experience that Remus only did this when he was feeling vulnerable and unsure of himself. And for all that Remus could sometimes be a nervous little thing, he was most certainly almost always sure of himself. Where Sirius was all bluster and confidence on the outside, Remus was always rather self-assured about everything. He just wasn't a very open person, and most people mistook that for being shy, or lacking in self-confidence. Seeing Remus like that wasn't a very reassuring sign.

"You all right there, Remus?" he asked softly, closing the door behind him. He walked over, sitting down on the bed beside him, but not touching.

Remus didn't move, but Sirius could tell that he wasn't quite comfortable with the close proximity, either. He normally would have put an arm around him, but it was obvious that Remus didn't want to be touched.

"No, not really." Remus was staring straight ahead, and Sirius waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't seem very forthcoming with any information.

"Well, would you mind telling me what's the matter with you, then? I can't help fix things if you don't-" But before he could finish speaking, Remus cut him off abruptly.

"You can't help fix things, period. It's too late for that, don't you think?" Remus asked, finally turning his head to stare at his companion. "This is a mistake," he said after a short pause.

"A... mistake? What's a mistake, Remus?" Sirius asked suspiciously. He didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"Leaping into a relationship was a mistake, Sirius. A very big mistake." Sirius refused to show just how much that statement hurt.

"A mistake? So, what? Are you saying you being pregnant is a mistake too?" he asked, growing angry.

"No! Yes! I don't know, Sirius. We're just taking things too fast. It's all just so sudden. One moment I'm hating you for betraying James and Lily, and for coming after Harry, and what feels like the next moment, we're falling into bed with one another and things just got out of hand." Remus confessed. "I had wanted to take things slow, not pick up right where we left off."

"Well, I wouldn't have been adverse to taking it slow, except that you're pregnant now, Remus. Babies! How is that conducive to taking it slow?" Sirius nearly shouted, jumping to his feet. Frustration mounting, he grabbed his wand from his waist and quickly put up a silencing charm around the bedroom. He didn't want Harry to overhear the two of them going at it if things grew too loud.

"Oh, so what? Now you're saying this is my fault?" Remus exclaimed much more loudly than he normally would have. He was usually calm and composed, and if this wasn't a loud and glaring signal that something was significantly off, then nothing was.

"Last time I checked, I'm not the one pregnant!" And, all right, so maybe Sirius wasn't helping matters any.

"Last time I checked, it took two to make a baby, Sirius. Maybe if you-"

"So now you're blaming me? You have to want it for the magic to work," Sirius hissed, cutting Remus off before he could continue in that vein.

"Well of course I want it, Sirius. I'm not debating that fact. But just because I want children didn't mean that I want them now. You've been back for less than a month, Sirius. A month! After twelve years? I'm not ready for this," Remus said almost frantically, voice falling at the end of his ranting.

"And you think I am? For those twelve years I was locked up in that hellhole surrounded by Dementors. Do you really think I'm ready for any of this? Hell, I'm not-" Sirius paused a moment, testing the strength of the silencing charm before daring speak any further, "I'm not ready for Harry, Remus. Do you know how painful it is to know that while I'm supposed to be holding him through his nightmares that I'm still afraid to fall asleep in fear of my own?"

Remus suddenly relaxed his pose somewhat at hearing this confession, and he stared at Sirius in silence. The seconds wore on and Sirius wondered if Remus was going to berate him for being an awful godfather, for being a disappointment to James and Lily, and now Harry, too. But Remus simply cocked his head to one side and finally reached up and pulled at Sirius's robes. Drawing the man down onto the bed, he gently kissed his lover's brow.

"Why haven't you said anything?" Remus said after a minute or so, stroking his fingers through Sirius's beautiful hair. It was his favorite feature of Sirius, and he was glad that the man had not decided to shave it all off as he had threatened after trying to comb out the snarled mess once he'd had his first shower after Azkaban.

"What was I supposed to say, Moony?" he asked quietly, falling back on the old, familiar nickname. "I want Harry here; I want to be there for him like I was supposed to after James and Lily..." he trailed off. Closing his eyes, Sirius allowed Remus to comfort him, the two acting though as if they hadn't just been yelling at one another mere minutes ago.

"You still could have told me, Sirius. I would have listened. I'm here to help, you know. I'm not just here because of you; I'm here for Harry, too," Remus explained, lying back on the bed and drawing Sirius down with him. Sirius laid his head on Remus's chest and let out a pained sigh.

"I didn't want to disappoint you," he said softly, smiling slightly at the way Remus played with his hair. He had always loved it when Remus stroked his scalp and ran his fingers through Sirius's fine locks.

"You don't disappoint me, Sirius. You're human; you're allowed to have human emotions, you know," Remus scolded mildly, leaning his head down to kiss the top of Sirius's head.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you," he blurted out suddenly, not wanting to lose his nerve and leave Remus thinking he was still angry with him. Remus had a point; they should be able to tell each other things in confidence without the other blowing up over it. Sirius pushed himself up onto his hands, looming over Remus's slight frame.

"You're allowed to be scared about us taking things too fast; I shouldn't have gone after you like that," he murmured, wanting nothing more than to lean down and crush those lips against his own.

"And I should have been more... tactful," Remus conceded, reaching up to brush Sirius's hair out from in front of his face and tucking it behind an ear.

"You still want to take things slow?" Sirius asked gently, his grey eyes staring down at Remus with concern. Remus took in a deep breath, and, smelling no apprehension from Sirius regarding his answer, smiled.

"Mm, yes, I think so." There was a brief pause between the two of them. "At least for now, at any rate," Remus quickly amended.

"So, in this... taking it slow business?" Sirius murmured, trailing his mouth over Remus's face.

"Mm?" Remus asked, his eyes fluttering closed.

"Do I still get to," Sirius asked, leaning in and brushing his lips over Remus's cheek, "touch you?"

"Mmhmm," Remus murmured in response, breath hitching slightly.

"Kiss you?" Sirius whispered askingly, lips moving over to graze across Remus's.

"Y-yeah," Remus stammered, exhaling the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Hold you?" His lifted a hand off the mattress and stroked it down Remus's side, thumb stroking his hip.

"I suppose," Remus said, humor bolstering his words that would otherwise be breathy and aroused. Sirius's sense of humor was always what brought Remus to him.

"Lie down with you?" Sirius asked, lying down beside the man and pressing his body against the tawny haired man's.

"If you must," Remus grinned, his eyes sparkling with mirth. But before Sirius could continue his line of questioning, Remus pressed a hand to Sirius's chest and placed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"But that's it, Sirius. For the meantime at least," Remus said sternly, staring into his partner's pale eyes.

"Understood," he replied swiftly, before swooping in to gently claim Remus's mouth for his own, kissing away their earlier argument. Remus smiled into the kiss, and the two held on close to one another, lips crushing against one another's as though they were still teenagers, as though they hadn't spent what felt like a lifetime apart.

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FYI: The first part of the story is really just Harry's point of view. He's not really ready to admit what's really bothering him just yet. It will take a little time for it to sink in for him, so don't go assuming that it has all been explained, because it hasn't.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :D And remember, reviews make the author very, very happy, even the "please write more" variety. Concrit is even more welcome.