The Beginning of a New Era: The Sequel

Lots of Sex & Lack of Sex

a/n: Sorry if anyone was thinking I was going to do a story about Monica and Chandler getting together. I would've been fun, but I think it's time for original stories.

Monica and Chandler were sitting on the bed of their hotel room. They had just finished a conversation about Jack and Erica walking and talking all ready.

"And Jack just recently began using the potty…" Monica began.

"Mon, what did we use to talk about?" Chandler asked.

"Um. Um, hm? Oh! I know—no. I. Don't. Know." Monica responded. "But, let's try it now. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay." Monica looked at Chandler waiting for him to say something. Her eyes widened as she waited for him to begin to speak.

"Uhhh…" Chandler began. He squinted his eyes and had his mouth half open. "I, might be getting a board to thumbtack stuff to in my cubicle."

"The cubicle story again? I've heard this all ready." Monica said.

"Hey last week all I heard from you, was that you were getting rubber spatulas as the restaurant!" Chandler yelled.

I'll be there for you…

When the rain starts to poor

I'll be there for you…

Like I've been there before

I'll be there for you…

'Cause you're there for me too.

RACHEL & ROSS' APARTMENT

Ross walked into his home. "Hey, sweetie," he said to Rachel.

"Hey! Doctor just called, my dad is up. And he's fine. Although, they put him on a very strict diet." She said.

"So basically, no more bacon and heavy cream?" Ross asked.

"Yup, that's the diet!" Rachel responded.

"So?" Ross asked.

"Yeah, 'so'. We're going to go visit him." Rachel said.

Ross began to whine.

"C'mon, Ross, we have to. Besides, it'll be fun. Okay, maybe not. But I'll show you some fun." Rachel said pushing him into the room.

PHOEBE & MIKE

Phoebe and Mike were at the coffee house sipping a cup of coffee each as Mike's cell phone began to go off. He dug into his pocket and took out his phone.

"Yikes!" Mike said as he ended the call.

"Who was that?" Phoebe asked.

"My ex." Mike said casually.

"Your ex!? You're still in contact with your ex-wife?" Phoebe asked.

"No, it wasn't my ex-wife."

"Precious?" Phoebe asked.

"No."

"Then who?"

"It was like my 20th girlfriend." Mike said.

"Your 20th girlfriend? Are you keeping count?" Phoebe said with a chuckle.

"Uh…" Mike said puzzled.

"What did she want?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know, sweetie. I didn't answer the call."

"Well, anyway. Wait a minute, was your 20th your last?" Phoebe asked.

"My last what?"

"Girlfriend!"

"Well, I got married. And then there was you, and then precious. So, about 23 girlfriends." Mike said.

"Wow, 23. That's about the same I've had. Boyfriends, that is." Phoebe said.

"So…we've both had 23 lovers. Cool." Mike said.

"Wait. I said I had 23 boyfriends, not lovers." Phoebe said with a smile.

"What?"

"Hell, I even slept with a four-person boy band!" Phoebe said laughing.

"So, how many have you had?" he asked.

JOEY & GLADYS

Joey walked into his home. There was Gladys sitting on the barcalounger.

"Where have you been?" She asked in a rough tone.

"I was out with the guys."

"What other guys do you know other than Ross and Chandler?" she asked.

"Some guys from DOOL!" Joey defended.

"You mean Days of Our Lives?" she corrected him.

"Look, I don't need this right now! Okay, take your claws off my back and let me breathe, woman!"

"I am not some 'woman'!" She said with air quotes. "I am your fiancée. We are engaged to be married."

"Yeah, and your spending a little bit of time engaging on being a pain in my ass!"

"Are you having an affair, Joey. Please, just tell me now."

"What? You know I would never do anything like that to you. I think – I think I need to spend the night with someone who trusts me." He walked out the door. And there was the Kassandra. The French 30-something girl that moved into Monica and Chandler's old apartment.

"I awoke from the screaming. Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah. We just had our first real big fight." Joey told her.

"You want to, uh, come in for some juice or something?" she asked.

"Huh. Like you wouldn't believe." Joey said, following her into the apartment.

PHOEBE & MIKE

"And those are the amount of guys I slept with." Phoebe began. "And one girl too, Mary Ellen. If it makes you feel better, there was also a guy there!"

"So you've had THAT many lovers. And I've had 23. I feel like such a loser." Mike said.

"No. Don't look at it like that. Look at it like I'm a slut." Phoebe said.

"Huh? Yeah. You're a big slut. You're just a skanky whore and… I took it too far didn't I?"

"Yeah, a little bit."

Just then Monica and Chandler came walking into the Coffee House.

"Hey, Mon and Chandler. I thought you guys were going to spend a week in the Bahamas." Phoebe said.

"Yeah, well we met someone there." Monica said.

"Oh, who?" Phoebe asked.

"Ahahhhahahhha!" Chandler said.

"Oh, my God. Janice?" Phoebe laughed.

"Not only that. But…we realized… WE HAVE NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT." Chandler said.

"Yeah. We promised ourselves that we wouldn't be one of those couples that only talked about diaper genies. But, we are." Monica said.

"Well, here's a unsettling topic. How many sexual partners have you both had?" Mike asked.

THE END.