The Beginning of a New Era: The Sequel
Thanking & Hating
a/n: Well, the story is ending REALLY soon. There really aren't many stories left, and I want to move on to other stories that I should finish. The chapters will most likely get shorter and rushed. Sorry about that. But, here we go.
"Okay. Here's the stuffing that wasn't stuffed into the turkey, and here's the cranberries, that you made, honey." Monica was checking off the things that were all ready done for the Thanksgiving dinner. It was 3:30, and dinner would be ready to serve and eat by 4:00. "And the turkey should be done in about 20 minutes. Just about the time everyone should be getting here. I'm so excited…this is like the biggest Thanksgiving I'm hosting, ever!" Monica loved it when she could server a meal to loads of people.
"Like making people happy, huh?" Chandler asked.
"Yeah, sure…of course." Monica lied, what she loved where the compliments she received after everyone was done eating. "Sweetie, could you call in Erica and Jack? They're in the backyard."
"Yeah, sure." Chandler said as he moved out of the chair and into the living room.
"I love Thanksgiving." She said to herself. Monica looked right, then left; checking to see if anyone was there. "Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy." She sang while rubbing her stomach and dancing to her own beat. "Phoebe's right, I do rock that one."
Five minutes passed and she realized that Chandler had not come with the kids. She started to get a little irritated, so she untied her apron and walked into the living room. Uh, I love these walls she thought to herself. She made it passed the dining room and into the family room, out through the sliding doors.
"Chandler? Chandler!?" She beckoned.
"Over here, honey." Chandler responded. Monica walked towards the noise, to the jumble gym. And there was her husband, stuck inside of it.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Well, I was playing with Jack and Erica and I was going up to the slide and, well this happened." He said, "I'm, not proud of it." He reassured her.
"Let me help you." She walked near him and pushed him a little. That didn't work. So then she tried removing one of the pillars of the jumble gym. And after three minutes of trying, it finally worked. Chandler was free, and he connected the pillar to the jumble gym.
"Thanks, honey." He told her.
"You're welcome, now let's get back inside. The turkey will be done in about ten minutes." Monica looked around for her children. "Where are they? Where are Jack and Erica?" She asked, frightened.
"Relax, Mon, they're probably in the house okay."
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. Okay." She began walking briskly to the sliding doors. When she tried opening them, she realized that they were locked. "They're locked." She said to Chandler, who wasn't there. He was still back near the jumble gym. Monica turned around and realized she was talking to no one. She waited impatiently for Chandler.
"Hey. Aw, how sweet, you waited for me." Chandler said.
"I wasn't being sweet. The door's locked. How can the door be locked, it's a sliding door, it can only be locked from the in-. Oh, my God! Jack and Erica must be in there."
"How could they even have locked the door?" Chandler asked.
Monica looked inside, "There's a tower of books near the lock. They must've made it and climbed it." Monica inquired.
"Damn! We've got some smart kids."
"Chandler, that's not what we should be thinking about right now. The kids are locked inside, while we're outside, the stove is on, and there's a turkey that must come out of the oven in exactly fifteen minutes! That has to feed ten people in fifteen minutes! FIFTEEN MINUTES!"
"Are you upset that the kids are in there or that your dinner might get burnt?" Chandler asked.
"The kids?" Monica said.
"Look, everyone should be here in a few minutes, and Ross and Rachel have a spare key. Everything will be fine.
"Oh, yeah, right. When's the last time anyone came to dinner on time!?" Monica asked.
"Well…" just then they heard a car pulling into the driveway. "They're here! You see, I told you." Chandler said while walking alongside the house towards the driveway.
They looked closely. "That's my parents. Great, I get to hear my mom tell me that I'm a bad mother, and I can't cook dinner. And usually, they're ten minutes late. Every Thanksgiving, I have ten minutes of Nirvana before getting pulled into hell!" Monica complained.
"Well, we have to go over there. So…"
"No. Let them knock…and no one answer. Then that way, they'll leave."
"They wouldn't leave. If anything Jack and Erica will answer, or they'll come through the back looking for us." Chandler said.
"Wait! Let's try knocking. Maybe they will answer. Go greet them, and tell them nothing! I'm going to go see if Jack or Erica will open the door." Monica said as she went running to the backyard.
Chandler walked over to his in-laws. Another one of Monica's stupid "things" he thought to himself. "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller. Nice to see you." He greeted.
"Nice to see you too, Chandler." Judy said. She started to walk towards the door. Chandler walked right in front of her.
"What are you doing?" he asked her.
"Well, I was thinking of going inside." She told him. "It's not that strange an idea."
"Well, yeah, but I was thinking…and go along with me here…that we go to the back, and give you a backyard tour…maybe take about, I don't know, thirteen minutes…and then go inside."
"Oh, c'mon Judy. It looks like he took sometime to come up with this tour." Jack said in his humble tone. "Let's go Chandler." He said. Chandler walked alongside the house into the backyard.
"Just go back there near that playground-thing, and I'll be there in a few minutes." He waited for them to get there, and then checked with Monica. "Hey Mon, what happened?" he asked.
"Well, they're definitely in there. They came down from upstairs and looked at me, laughed, and ran back upstairs. Anyway, what did you tell my parents?"
"That I want to give them a tour of the backyard." He said.
"The backyard is a big square with a tree, five bushes, and a jumble gym. That's all you could think of?"
"Well, I'm sorry. I couldn't think of anything else, besides 'I don't want you in my house' when they asked me why they couldn't come in!"
"Go. Go! They must be waiting." Monica said. She watched Chandler walk over to her parents and point at one of the bushes. Another one of Chandler's stupid "things" she thought to herself. Once again, she heard a car pull into the driveway. She prayed that it was Ross and Rachel, so she ran to the front of the house. Thankfully, it was! "Oh! Thank you!" She checked her watch. "You guys are ten minutes early, thank God."
"Why?" Ross asked.
"Erica and Jack locked me and Chandler out. We need your spare key…to get us in." Monica explained.
"Well, Mon, we don't have your keys." Rachel told her.
"No. You have to have the keys." Monica tried to convince her.
"We don't have the keys. Why don't you have the keys?"
"Why should I have the keys?"
"It's your house!" Rachel yelled.
"Okay, stop saying 'keys'. No on say keys." Ross told them. "And Rachel's right, remember when Joey got all upset because you didn't give him a key. You two told us to give ours to him."
"I wouldn't say something like that. Oh, my God, Chandler!" Monica yelled Chandler's name so loud he came running to the front.
"What?" he asked Monica.
"Why would you tell Rachel and Ross to give their spare key to Joey? Remember when he cleaned up that mess with the guest towels?" Monica asked.
"I didn't say give him your spare key, I said give him a spare key." Chandler told Monica, then glanced to Rachel.
"What I understood on the phone was give him the spare key." Rachel admitted.
"No. I wanted you to make a copy and give it to him." Chandler explained.
"Great. I have about eight and half minutes to get into my home, and I have to depend on Joey!? Oh, God." Monica moaned and sighed.
"Ross? Ross? Is that you?" a familiar voice came from far away.
"Mom? Hey." He said as she came up to him and hugged him.
"Hello." Monica said, since her parents had not greeted her.
"Monica…I'm saying hello to your brother." Judy scorned. Monica gestured her hands in a what? sort-of-way.
"So, Mom, you're here." Ross looked at Monica and mouthed the words: "Does she know yet?"
Monica shook her head no.
"So, mom, what's, uh, up?" he asked, trying to stall time.
"Well, Chandler has been giving us a tour of the backyard." She said in a pathetic tone.
A loud chuckle came out of Rachel. She looked at everyone and turned around walking towards the car. Monica walked to Rachel, there was a fair distance from everyone else, and so they couldn't hear their conversation.
"Hey, maybe if Jack and Erica see Emma, they'll open the door." Monica told Rachel.
"You think? Do they like her that much?" Rachel asked.
"Well, it's time to find out." Monica told her while pulling her into the backyard.
"Monica, I can't believe you're using my baby." She told her.
"You're the one that signed her up for a baby beauty pageant, which by the way, is the most atrocious thing I've ever heard of. Although, for a thousand bucks, I'd probably do it too." Monica admitted.
They finally reached the backyard. "Okay, here's to hoping." Rachel said.
"Oh, hey Rachel." Jack said behind them.
"Dad? Dad. Hi, Mom has apple pie in the front." Monica lied to him to get him out of there.
"Ooh! Pie? I'm gonna go." Jack said running briskly to the front.
Monica knocked on the door waiting for Erica and Jack. Nothing. She did it again. Nothing. "Apparently, we'll never find out. Look, Rach, you keep trying and I'm going to check with Chandler." Monica said. She walked to the front seeing that Joey just arrived. Ross was having a conversation with Jack and Judy, so she pulled Chandler and Joey aside. "Joey, give us the spare key."
"I don't have it." Joey told her.
"Why? Why don't you have it?" Chandler asked.
"I lost it at the park." Joey said.
"First my tools, then my key. I don't get it, Joey!" Monica told him.
"I'm sorry, Monica." Joey told her.
"Quite frankly, that doesn't cut it. I have five minutes. That's FIVE. Five to get into my house, with a turkey that could burn, and my kids inside that won't open the door, and could get seriously hurt." Monica was going insane. "Joey, this is why we didn't give you a key."
"Hey, that's not fair!" Joey said.
"Depending on the situation, I'd say it is." Monica told him. Just then she saw a yellow cab, with a blonde driving it. "Oh, here comes Phoebe."
Phoebe walked up to Monica, Chandler, and Joey, with her husband Mike and a stroller with her twins. "Why's everyone hanging outside?"
"We were locked out of our house by our kids, and the turkey should be done any minute now." Chandler explained.
"Why don't you just break the glass from the backdoor?" Phoebe asked.
"Because my parents don't know yet, and Chandler and I don't have the money to fix it." Monica explained.
"I can loan you the money!" Joey said.
"Really!?" Monica asked, excited.
"Just kidding!" Joey said. "Sorry, it sounded funnier in my head."
"Are one of the top windows open?" Phoebe asked.
"Oh! The bathroom one!" Chandler said.
"Okay. Go get your ladder and I'll climb in there." Phoebe said enthusiastically.
"We don't have a ladder." Monica told her.
"Okay. Do you know anyone around here that does?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Then ask one of them."
"No one around here likes us." She admitted.
"Excuse me? No one around here likes you. Get it right, honey." Chandler told her. Monica rolled her eyes.
"Wait, Joey, that day where Chandler's key broke in the knob, you knocked the door down." Monica told him.
"Oh, yeah, give me your screwdriver!" he told her.
"We can't, you left Monica's tools at the park!" Chandler refreshed his memory.
"It wouldn't have mattered anyway; I don't want my parents to know." Monica told everyone.
"Maybe it's time, Monica." Chandler told her.
"All right! All right, I'll tell her." Monica told him. She then walked away to her parents and Ross.
"Man, you guys should have a spare key under the welcome mat or something." Joey told Chandler.
Phoebe went walking to the side of the house where the bathroom is, along with Mike. "I think I can climb this fence looking thing." She said.
"Wanna try it?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, yeah, okay. Give me a boost." Phoebe demaded, "Oh wait! Tell Monica not to tell her mom." Mike left, and Phoebe began climbing.
"Monica!" Mike said running over to her.
"Mom. I, need to tell you something. Jack and Erica locked me and Chandler out of the house, and the turkey will be done anytime soon…it could get burnt." Monica forced the words out of her.
"No!" Mike said bumping into Monica. "No, Monica's lying. She likes to do that, y'know. Gotcha!-kinda lying."
"Yeah, and you also lied about your mother having pie." Jack told her.
Mike pulled Monica away and to where Phoebe was climbing.
"Phoebe, what the hell are you doing? Get down here!" Phoebe was almost half way there.
"Why? I'm halfway there. This way, you don't have to tell your parents. I'll just come down and unlock the door." Phoebe explained.
"Monica, where's my little granddaughter and grandson?" Judy said as she walked to where Monica, Mike, and Phoebe were. "Phoebe? What's going on?"
"Well, I-I?" Phoebe was thinking of a good excuse. "I wanted to know which way the wind was blowing…what, don't you do this when you want to know?" Phoebe said with an eyebrow raised.
Just then, Ross, Chandler, and Joey came running to them. "No! Judy!" they said in unison, except for Ross whom said "MOM!"
"Look." Monica began, "Mom. What I said before, was all true. Jack and Erica are in there, the turkey, everything."
"I figured something like this would happen. That's why in the last Thanksgiving I switched the spare key to Ross' apartment with Joey's spare key for your house." She said.
"You knew something like this would happen? You planned for me to make a mistake?" Monica asked incredulously.
"Sweetie, this was just in case you pulled a Monica." She explained.
"I cannot believe you. It's like Ugh!" Monica screamed.
"What's wrong with you?" Judy asked.
"Okay, okay. It's like you're a child. And you do something wrong. And then, I hit you, and tell you that it's not okay and that you did something bad. Then, you do it again. So I spank you, and then I punish you, and I take away a good toy of yours. But you don't learn, because you do it again. And then I begin to think there's something wrong with you…and I just cannot take it anymore." Monica told her.
"Monica," Judy said walking closer to her and holding her hand. "That was a terrible analogy."
"Hey, Pheebs!" Rachel said sticking her head out from the bathroom. "What are you doing?"
"Rachel?" Phoebe asked.
"Rachel!?" Monica asked. "What the hell?"
"Well, it turns out that they do like Emma. Yeah, they're playing with her right now." Rachel said.
"Why didn't you come out and tell me?" Monica asked.
"Well, I went to check if everything was okay?"
"Is it?" Monica asked.
"Yeah!" Rachel told her. Then, there was about a ten second silence. "Would you like me to open the door?"
"IT WOULDN'T HURT!" Monica yelled.
"Wow," Ross said getting closer to her. "And to think if she would have just stuck her head out like two minutes earlier, you wouldn't have had to tell Mom." He chuckled.
BRIGHT KAUFFMAN CRANE PRODUCTIONS
THE END.