Disclaimer: These characters are so not mine. This particular scenario is though.
Thank you to my reviewers:
lukeandlorealilove – Thank you, thank you, thank you.
xh4z3L3y3sx – Now you get to find out what Jess was thinking…
miloluver – Silly Jess is fun to write, probably because he's fun to imagine. Hehe.
luvablemilo – I actually thought I'd written myself into a corner because I realized 'Crap! What are they going to do for a romantic date on a Tuesday night?' Plain old dinner didn't sound exciting enough…the drive-in was the perfect solution.
evangeline b – Makes me want to sing 'Rory and Jess, sittin' in a tree…"
brucasforever – Thank you!
Scazydramaqueen282 – I'm so glad you like the story. And a choice between Logan or Jess? No contest. Logan may have oodles of money, but I'd end up kicking his smarmy butt to the curb at the first signs of over-the-top gifts or expecting me to baby-sit his drunk ass.
RogueHoney – If only more people at any age had heard of it… Thanks so much for your review!
Tookie Clothespin – Thank you! And here's more…
IloveJoeL. – Thanks. Here's the update…
PR0TECTiNGME11 – I simply couldn't resist the Grease references. They were too perfect. Especially since I'd recently watched the scene where Luke is lecturing Jess about Rory and he mimicked the whole yawn and stretch scenario.
just hidden – Like I said right above here, the whole drive-in, Grease, Jess combo was too perfect not to take advantage of.
pam halliwell – :wink, wink: Here's the next chapter.
Lunatic Lorenzio – Thanks so much! Ah yes, if only that thesis was coming along as beautifully as this story…
Spinaround – Thank you!
Jade-Tessier – Thanks!
AN: My thesis is nowhere near finished, which means I have an incomplete and I get to work on it in the spring. It's actually pretty normal for this to happen, so I'm not too worried, but it would just be nice for it to be done with! This chapter ended up with an interesting mix of fluff and angst. I'm not sure where the angst came from actually, but it seemed to flow, and who am I to deny the flow? Well, I'm the writer, of course, but that's beside the point…it's taking the story where I want it to, so stick with me and 'oh, the places you'll go'. Okay, sappy Dr. Seuss quoting over now, sorry about that. On with the story…
What Happens Now?
Rory reluctantly felt herself drifting out of her peaceful slumber. Still only half-conscious, she turned to face Jess and began placing lazy kisses on his neck and collarbone. He stirred and pulled her closer to him, but did not open his eyes. His fingertips crept underneath her shirt and brushed up and down her back and across her stomach. She reciprocated by lightly rubbing her palms across his bare chest, shoulders, and biceps. Still both clinging to the last vestiges of sleep, their movements remained languid but passionate.
"Jess," Rory whispered breathily, barely audible in the stillness of her room.
"Mmmm," Jess responded sleepily, not pausing in his caresses.
"This past week…I mean, after these past few months…" she practically hummed into his ear.
Jess waited expectantly, but when she didn't continue he nudged her neck gently with his nose in an attempt to prompt her to keep speaking. Rory hummed softly and kissed his neck again tenderly.
"I'm happy. Finally, really, absolutely happy."
Jess' arms tightened around her body, and he rolled to shift their positions so that he was on top of her, heavy enough to pin her, but supported on his arms slightly to allow her comfortable breathing room. He trailed kisses across her neck and chest before placing kisses all over her face, finally landing on her lips. Pulling back slightly, Jess blinked the sleep out of his eyes to finally look at her. They were both smiling and he leaned in to press their foreheads and noses together.
"Me too."
She pressed her lips to his, and soon their previously lazy kisses began to grow in energy and intensity. Jess heard his cell phone ring, but ignored it and let the voicemail pick up. Almost immediately after it finally quieted, it began to ring again. Jess paused, groaned, and allowed himself to collapse gently on top of Rory.
"Well, are you going to get that, or not?" she laughed.
"Whoever it is had better have a really good reason for calling me this early in the morning."
By this time, the phone had stopped ringing and the new voicemail buzz had gone off. Jess was just about to ignore it and go back to his previous activities when the phone began ringing again. Jess climbed off the bed in a huff, barely managing to avoid tripping on the slightly tangled sheets. He picked up the phone and answered it with a gruff 'hello?' Rory tried to relax and snuggle under the covers. Like Jess' recent phone conversation with Luke, Rory could only hear one side. Unlike his conversation with Luke, though, Jess did not seem amused.
"Yeah, I'm awake…but it's Wednesday… I know I've been gone a week and a half already…Damn it, Gregg, you've got to be kidding me!…I really don't want to…No, you don't seem to understand that I really don't want to…Yes…No…If you were here, you wouldn't want to either, trust me…Are you sure?...Seriously?...Fine…Fine…Fine…Huh…yeah…Fine…Bye."
By this point, Rory was staring at Jess curiously while he hung up the phone and threw it back towards his bag. He was simply staring intensely at the rug with his hands on his hips while Rory waited to hear what that conversation had been about, and why it had aggravated him so much.
"Uh, Jess? I heard you say 'fine' four times, which gives me the impression that everything is not fine. Who was that?"
It took a few moments before Jess raised his head and returned to the side of the bed where he suddenly collapsed with a defeated sigh.
"Jess, what's going on?"
"I have to leave."
"What?"
"Tom got sick, and no one's heard from Lenny in two days."
"What!"
"He's fine. He does this every once in a while. He always turns back up, and everyone pretends like it never happened. Only now that Tom is sick, and I'm not there, that leaves just Gregg and the two other guys to take care of everything."
"Oh."
"Yeah, well, I've already taken a week and a half off straight, so they seem to think I should be able to cut it short and get back there to help them."
"Well…I guess…I mean, you should go back," Rory started reluctantly. "They need your help, and, as much as I'm completely enjoying this," Rory said while gesturing between them, "I can get along without you."
"Oh, thanks," Jess retorted in mock offense.
"Shush, you know what I meant."
Her attempt at a joke was a lame cover for her internal freak-out that was quickly developing over the idea of Jess leaving so soon.
"I guess."
"What about the diner?"
"They'll be fine. I think Lane will appreciate the extra shifts anyway. And if it's too much, they'll just cut back on the hours the diner is open."
"What about the ordering? Lane was freaking out that she couldn't do it."
"I did it yesterday, so they should be fine. Besides, I kind of walked Lane through it and it doesn't freak her out quite as much anymore."
"Really?"
"Why do you seem so shocked?"
"No reason, just…you taught Lane how to do the ordering?" Rory said while giving him a sneaky smile.
"What? She's a smart girl; I don't know why she was being such a pain about it in the first place."
"Uh huh," Rory responded with a teasing look in her eyes.
"What!"
"Aww, look at you. You're so sweet now, getting all 'buddy buddy' with Lane, teaching her stuff…"
Jess rolled his eyes and tackled her back onto the bed.
"That's enough outta you for now."
After a brief kiss, Rory gave Jess a pouting look which tried to be playful, but failed miserably at hiding the disappointment in her eyes.
"So, you seriously have to leave?"
"Yes, I seriously have to leave," he sighed, "And soon too, they want me back to work this afternoon."
Rory bit her lip and tried not to look too frustrated or upset.
"Rory? You're not upset with me are you?"
Rory flashed him a quick smile and tried to sound reassuring.
"Of course I'm upset you're leaving, but I'm not upset at you. It's just…things have been going so well…" Rory trailed off and attempted to avoid making eye contact with Jess.
Unfortunately for Rory, Jess was still on top of her and easily managed to outmaneuver her, not letting her move until she locked eyes with him.
"Rory?" Jess asked softly.
Rory took a deep breath and let out a long sigh before she managed to say what was bothering her.
"What happens now?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, we've just spent an amazing week together, and now…you're going back to Philadelphia, and soon I'm going back to Yale…and everything is going to change, and we're hardly going to be able to see each other, because I'm really busy at school, and you're really busy at work, and with all this time you've just taken off, I doubt you're going to be able to take any more time off for a while, and we're going to go back to just talking on the phone, and while I really like talking on the phone it's really just not the same as waking up next to you in the morning, and…"
Rory was forced to stop mid-rant because Jess was kissing her. She pulled back after a moment to shoot Jess a small glare.
"I was talking, you know?"
"No, you were rambling. Normal speaking doesn't use the word 'and' more than eight times in one sentence without taking a breath," Jess retorted mockingly.
"Hey, I'm trying to talk to you about something important, and you're mocking me?" Rory replied defensively.
Realizing that this was not the direction he wanted this conversation to be going in, especially when he really needed to be packing and getting on the road soon, Jess caught Rory's eyes again.
"I'm sorry," he stated frankly, "I didn't mean to mock your rambling."
After a moment of staring him down, Rory admitted "Apology accepted."
"So, you want to know what happens now that we have to go back to our separate lives?"
A small flash of worry crossed Rory's face as she nodded in agreement with the question.
"Well, is there really all that much we can do?"
Rory's face fell as Jess continued.
"You need to finish Yale. I have a life and a job in Philadelphia which I've worked hard to establish, and I like it there. You're right, I won't be able to take much time off for a while, and I fully expect you to be very busy with your school work. Even saying something definite about this summer is difficult, because I know you want to take summer classes so you'll be ready to graduate on time…"
Jess wasn't trying to be harsh, only realistic; however, he stopped when he noticed Rory was getting visibly upset by his words.
"Rory?" he said her name worriedly, hoping she would respond to him.
She pushed him off of her and climbed quickly out of the bed. Before he could stop her, Rory had marched into the kitchen. He sat on the bed for a moment, his head spinning slightly from Rory's mood swing. From what he could hear, it sounded like she was making coffee, and from the clatter of kitchen appliances and slamming of cabinet doors, he was pretty sure she was angry.
At a loss for how the morning had taken such an abrupt turn for the worse, Jess slipped on his jeans and cautiously ventured into the kitchen. Rory was sitting at the kitchen table, stonily waiting for her coffee to percolate. He picked up a few muffins out of a bag he'd brought from the diner the day before and quietly sat down at the table across from her. He gently pushed one muffin across the table towards her, but she ignored it, and him. He began to slowly pick at his muffin while mulling over exactly how to handle this situation.
"Rory?" Jess asked quietly.
Nothing.
"Don't you think we need to discuss this?" he tried asking.
"Don't you need to be getting back for work?" she asked him, too calmly for his comfort.
Now it was Jess' turn to start getting upset. After everything they'd been through over the years and how much they'd opened up to each other over the past few months, her deciding to clam up out of nowhere really bothered him. He realized that what he was feeling was similar to how he felt when she wouldn't sit next to him during the movie night; being cut off from her made him lonely like nothing else in his life ever had. He had worked so hard to get to the point where he could talk with her openly and honestly, even about painful things; he wanted to know that she was willing to put that effort in, too.
"Rory," he began with a tinge of frustration in his voice, "you can't just shut me out. It's not fair."
"You're one to talk about that," Rory spat back suddenly.
Taken aback, Jess felt his chest tighten in anger.
"Sure, Rory, bring up the past. I've been nothing but open with you for months now, but you just have to hark back to years ago. God, I was just a kid. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the one acting childish right now."
Rory's eyes flashed. She stood up suddenly and stormed into her bedroom. A minute later, she emerged carrying Jess' bag. She threw a shirt at him and tossed the bag on the floor.
"Leave."
She stood angrily with her arms folded across her chest, leaning awkwardly with most of her weight on one leg. There was a tense stand-off between the two, neither one willing to break eye contact first. Jess slowly took the shirt and put it on. He stood, crossed the kitchen, and bent down to pick up his bag. Hesitating for a few moments, he let his head hang before standing up and turning to face Rory. He squared his shoulders and looked her in the eye again.
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? This is my house, and I don't want you here anymore."
He could see tears shining I her eyes, but she was trying desperately to hold them back.
"Well that's too bad, because I'm not leaving until we talk this through and know where we stand."
Fury and hurt boiled up inside Rory, and it burst out in a frustrated growl.
"How can you do this? You come and charm me for a few days, making everything seem so great. And then 'bam', you're ready to leave, go back to your job, and your apartment, and your life, like nothing even happened?"
Jess was staring at her incredulously.
"What are you talking about?"
"Not much we can do. You stay here and go to school. I'm going back to my life, blah, blah, blah," she imitated his earlier comment mockingly.
"That's what this is about?"
"What do you mean 'that's what this is about'? Of course 'that' is what this is about. You're leaving, and it doesn't seem like you're all that upset about leaving me behind."
A hot tear rolled down her cheek and she slapped it away angrily. Jess turned away, confusing Rory as to what he was doing. He walked over to the counter, picked up Rory's mug, and filled it with coffee. He sat down at the kitchen table and pushed the mug towards her seat while giving her a pointed look.
"Sit."
It took a minute of Rory weighing her options before she sat down and grabbed her mug of coffee. The fact that there was a mug of hot coffee there had actually been a deciding factor in her approaching Jess. She was so mixed up she didn't know what to feel or how to act, but the coffee was hot and comforting. She sat in silence, willing Jess to start the conversation.
"I'm not sure exactly how you got the idea that I was happy, or even ambivalent, about leaving you."
"But, what you said before…"
"What I said before," Jess interrupted her, "is true. You do have to finish Yale. I do have to get back to work. Your school and my work are three hours apart by train. I was being practical."
"I know those things, but you didn't have to toss them out so nonchalantly. It sounded like you didn't care."
"I didn't mean for it to come out that way. You want to know the truth?"
Rory's face softened a bit.
"Of course."
"Leaving you here is like tearing off a piece of myself and leaving it behind. It was unintended, but I guess being practical about it was my way of trying to make it less painful."
Rory's heart sank at the realization that her quick judgment of him had probably hurt him even more. Her tears were starting to escape more easily now.
"I'm sorry. I just…The idea of you leaving hurt so much; I reacted strongly when I thought you didn't feel the same way."
"I get it. I'm sorry, too."
Rory smiled a little and began to stand up so she could move closer to Jess.
"Wait," he stopped her before she moved too far. "Stay there. For now, at least. I, uh, I think we still need to talk."
Unsure of what he meant, Rory sunk back into her chair.
"Talk?"
"Yeah…we haven't really settled on anything, and I meant it before when I said I wasn't leaving until we knew where we stood."
"Oh," Rory whispered quietly. "So, where do we stand?"
Jess shifted uncomfortable in his chair.
"Rory, before we get into that…I need…I need to ask you something…or, I guess ask you to promise me something."
"I….what?"
"When you were upset earlier, you almost kicked me out."
"Oh." Rory's shoulders slumped a little as she slid down a few inches in her chair. She gripped her coffee mug a little tighter, seeking reassurance from its familiar form.
"I…I need you to promise not to shut me out. I mean, just this week you've locked yourself in your room, refused to speak to me, and tried to kick me out. I just…"
Jess took a deep breath and sighed heavily before continuing.
"…I know it's not easy, especially when you're hurt or upset – I mean, look who's talking – but, I've been trying really hard, and I need to know that you are too."
"Jess…"
Her voice was pleading and hurt, and he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and make everything better, but instead he sat and waited for her to continue.
"I…I'm sorry. It's a…a bad habit I guess. Sometimes I need some time to myself, to figure things out, you know?"
"I get that. Just…let me know? And don't leave me hanging?"
"I can do that."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
"Good."
After a beat, Jess flashed Rory a sad smirk.
"Now about that other thing..."
"Where do we stand?" she asked sadly.
"Beyond the practical stuff?"
"Yeah, beyond the practical stuff…"
Jess was fighting an internal battle with himself. Now? Later? Would there ever really be a perfect time? That hadn't stopped him last time. But look how well that turned out? What if he said something, and then the following conversation went badly? He wasn't sure he could take that. But, then again, it wouldn't make it any less true. Part of him wished he'd done it last night, when things were blissfully happy. Frankly, he was terrified. His only previous experiences with this had been disastrous. He mentally smacked himself upside the head for vacillating so much on something he knew should happen.
"I love you," he said quietly, glancing at her quickly to gauge her reaction.
Every part of her seemed as if it was in suspended animation, right down to the way her hand held her coffee mug halfway along the trip to her mouth, so he decided to continue while he had the chance.
"I never stopped, actually. I knew there was something absolutely unique about you the first time I laid eyes on you. I knew I loved you that night when we went for ice cream and we got in the accident. I guess I knew before the accident, but the way I felt when you got hurt just made me admit it to myself. Hell, at that point I didn't think you'd ever even speak to me again, so I left, but I loved you. The whole time…"
"Jess…"
Her voice stopped him mid-sentence, and his breath caught in his throat.
"I love you, too."
A small smile played across her face as she watched his reaction. It was hopeful, terrified, and joyful all at once. His eyes danced from her face down to his hands.
"You know you're the only…I mean, Liz sometimes, but she's…I never…" he trailed off as he looked her in the eyes again.
Rory scooted her chair closer to Jess', and took his hand in hers.
"I know," she reassured him.
"That's why leaving you sucks so much."
Rory couldn't help but laugh.
"So eloquent. I thought writers were supposed to have a way with words?" she teased gently.
Jess shot her a playfully warning glare, and they both basked in the lightness of the moment, welcome in the midst of the highly emotional morning. He tightened his fingers around her hand in a strong squeeze which brought them back to the important matter of the morning.
"But seriously, this leaves us…"
"Right back where we started? Only now we know the practical stuff and how both of us feel…not that that changes the practical stuff…" Rory sighed.
They sat in silence for a time until Jess sat up straight and cleared his throat.
"I say we continue to talk on the phone like we did before. When your semester is finished, you're more than welcome to come visit me in Philly before your summer classes start, and I can try to come and visit some weekends."
"I'm afraid I wouldn't get any schoolwork done with you there."
"Oh please, you always got your schoolwork done, despite my best efforts to distract you. I'm sure I can bring something to occupy me: a book, my notebook…"
"Ooo, are you writing something? Another book?"
"Don't get so excited, it's hardly more than random thoughts and ideas at this point…"
"I can't wait to read it when it's ready!"
"Wow, you're so far ahead of me, it's not even funny."
"Sorry, it's just exciting…"
Jess shot Rory an extremely rare shy smile.
"Thanks. That…knowing you're excited about it…it's nice."
"You're welcome."
Shaking himself back to reality, Jess continued, "But back to what I was saying earlier?"
"It's not exactly a perfect plan…"
"You have any better ideas?"
"No," Rory conceded.
"Well?"
"I think it's our best option."
"Me too," Jess said as he pulled her over so she was sitting in his lap.
Both of their heads shot up as they heard Jess' cell phone ring again.
"You've got to be kidding me," he groaned. "Why the hell didn't I just turn the thing off before going to bed last night?"
Rory stood, allowing Jess to get up and retrieve his cell phone, which he answered with another gruff 'hello'. Rory stifled a giggle when she realized how much he resembled Luke when he did that.
"No, I haven't left yet…Dude, I get it! Calm down...See you in a few hours."
Jess hung up his phone and sighed in resignation.
"I guess this means you really have to leave now?"
He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
"Unfortunately, yes."
They stood in a tight embrace, relishing being together. Rory finally broke the silence.
"It'll be okay. We'll be okay," she said, trying to sound confident.
He grinned, and leaned in to kiss her. It was still early, but the day had already been emotionally exhausting. He poured everything he'd been feeling since waking up that morning into that kiss: ecstasy, desire, frustration, passion, relief, hope, and love.
Rory felt that Jess' kiss was trying to communicate a myriad of emotions to her. It was slightly overwhelming and as she finally pulled back, and small "whoa" escaped from her lips.
"Yeah, whoa," Jess responded, resting their foreheads together.
After reluctantly disentangling themselves, Jess gathered his things and prepared to leave. He still had to stop by the diner to tell Lane and Caesar he was leaving, and to get some things from the apartment. Standing by her front door, they desperately avoided saying goodbye.
"You'll tell Lane I can help at the diner today until they figure out how to cover your shifts?"
"Yeah, I'll tell her to expect you in time for the lunch rush. You'll apologize to Luke and Lorelai for not being able to say goodbye before I left?"
Rory chuckled at the comment which, until recently, would've been wildly out of character for Jess.
"Sure I will. Are you going to call him?"
"I feel weird calling him on his honeymoon…"
"I guess."
"So…"
"So…"
"I'll talk to you soon, Rory."
"Yeah, safe trip home. Good luck with work."
"Thanks."
Jess dropped his bag and pulled Rory to him one more time. His arms wrapped around her waist and held her tightly against his body. He rubbed his cheek on hers and whispered in her ear.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
"God, that feels good."
Rory grinned and responded happily, "Yeah, it does."
Rory quickly kissed him again before pulling away and shoving him out the door.
"Leave now, or this is only going to get harder!" she teased, fighting back the tears in her eyes.
"Fine! Bye, for now."
"Yeah, bye, for now."
Jess picked up his bags and headed outside. Rory watched him until he disappeared around the corner. She shut the door and sunk to the ground, completely overwhelmed by the morning.
AN: Hope you liked it! More will come soon, though the next couple days are pretty busy for me.
Reviews are like hugs, and hugs are always appreciated.