So I've been reading other stories... and I've come to the conclusion that my story sucks compared to the stories of other authors. And so of course... that's not a very uplifting thought.
Zakuyoe just got his heart broken... so you might see excess angst. Sorry in advance.
To give a sneak peek of the upcoming chapter... the next school day, the big problem, and perhaps that debate? lol. Oh, and a dream that Stan has to prolong the chapter, and stuff.
Review replies... wow this is going to be bigger than I had expected... Yay 100 reviews! thanks guys!
Mrpointyhorns: you sly person, you... actually, that's probably going to be an important thing later on. But... no more spoilers. Thanks for reviewing! Though your review on chapter 14 trailed off... a lot...
Bookyboo: thanks for your reviews. Though, I still think that chapter 15 was pretty bad. It just seems kind of... bland. I dunno. I'll try making this one a relatively good chapter.
Venus-Gurl: Thank you once more for your reviews. And I definitely enjoyed that brainstorming session we had that one time. Erm... you might see more of it in later chapters.
Bloody Auzzie Bogan Mate: Thanks! And yes... StanClyde is only a necessary part of the story... I personally dislike it myself. Haha. But thanks for sticking with it until the end.
Aurifex: I don't think you've yet mentioned that chapter 16 was cute, haha. And as for what made you laugh... hmm. And don't think you'll get the answer to those questions soon... oh, and UPDATE your story! Serendipity is driving me to the edge; I love it so much that you not updating is the same thing as me killing myself. haha.
Teklah: I wish I could say that things would get better, but... they won't. Not right away. Hooray for drama. But erm, yeah it will eventually. I'd just keep dreaming until then (shrug). And Kenny... well, I'll make a KennyKyle story for you, maybe. I got some ideas already.
Tackett: It's a very remote version of parallelism. I wanted to tie in something between the two, if that makes sense at all. But yeah I liked that ending too. uh, updates are fun... heheh
xZAGRFAN: Thanks for the review. I was trying to see if you reviewed previously in another chapter, but I can't seem to find any. So erm, I don't have much to say (sigh).
Spice of Life: Uh, yeah? Style slash definitely has style. Wow that was corny. But yes... the StanClyde thing is getting to my head. So expect something in this chapter.
Le-PrePo-Liebe: Thanks for the reviews! I'm not sure what you meant by That rocked hard rocks, haha. But that's why I hate idiomatic phrases... and stuff.
Blackout12: AHHH thanks for reviewing! Eh, my mind is sooo not overcreative. But you are right in that the Clydeness is boggling. And I just realized that Cartman's puppet is named Clyde-frog. hmmmm... (hint).
cjmarie: uh oh... silly baseball bat. Don't hit me with it though! ahh. Uh, but I hope that your computer stops unfreezing so that you can review again, haha. And you have to update that story again, no doubt. I want explanations!
JumpinPopTarts: I loooooove pop tarts. But random, of course. I am, of course, not mean... lol. And you'll have to stay on that seat edge for a while... you won't get to relax and sit back down by the last chapter, or maybe the epilogue.
Nor Monisaux: Dramatic... haha. hmm... I'm not sure if you're still reading, but thanks for your support up to this point.
Too lazy to log-in: Hm... I don't think I'm ruining a story by making them get together... but you are right, it's not really a typical slash story. But I promise you that the ending won't be 'disgusting' and stuff... no explicit stuff... just an ending. I'm not saying it's happy, but just an ending. haha.
Kazami: I haven't heard from you in a while either. But still, I thank you for all the reviews you've given; they've really made my day!
maybeVADERsomedayLATER: Haven't heard from you either. Still, I looooove your pen name, for reasons I am unsure of. and yes, footsie wars are the greatest. I had one yesterday at my lunch table, lol
kennyclone: YES! I loved the soda thing. Still, I have noooooo idea where it came from. I was trying to think of a funny event that could happen at a hospital, but... I mean come on, it's a hospital. So the soda thing came up instead...
Kyle loves ME not YOU: Aww I'm sorry. There are only some stories that make me cry, and those stories are usually my favorite. I recommend Psychic BS. It is an excellent story, and very realistic, unlike my story. Though I'm trying!
WOW! and now that I'm finallllly done, I think I can finally start the story. By the way, right now I'm listening to the song On My Own from "Les Miserables." I suggest you listen to it and stuff; it's really inspiring, and I guess if this song had a theme song it would be this one. And so... chapter 17!
"In the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit..." That Sunday morning had been no different from any other; a congregation dying to leave, the weary sermons that Father Maxi gave that lulled everyone to sleep, and of course, the prospect of the football game later that day. Stan let out a frustrated moan as he stood among the pews, categorizing himself with the rest of his fellow Catholics wanting to leave. Sure, he wasn't saying that the Catholic Church in itself was stupid because its followers were so bored by their own religion, but it was just that he had other questions to think about. It was a few minutes more until the end of the mass service, and he knew that as his fellow students would rush out of the church cheering and returning to their consuming video games and sport programs he would instead be waiting for Father Maxi to finish greeting the church-goers goodbye in order to talk to him.
He did his best to not seem eager about asking the subject. Of course he had failed; he truly had to know for himself the answer to the question. But it was at least some guarantee that he wouldn't have to be speaking as if it wasn't himself he was referring to, since the question truly pertained to one of his friends.
"Well hello there," said the priest. "How are you today, Stan?"
"I'm good, father," said Stan. "Are you busy right now?"
"No, no... of course not," said Father Maxi. He directed the boy outside the church, and Stan followed the priest along a small dirt path into a portable-looking house. His father had always warned him not to enter a place alone with a Catholic priest after the Catholic-priest scandal, but Stan trusted Father Maxi, and he knew that he wouldn't do anything. He offered Stan a seat on a small wooden chair, and as he left to get a cup of orange juice Stan noticed how humbly the priest lived. It was so simplistic, and Stan supposed that that was how all the priests were supposed to live. Nonmaterialistic.
"Thank you," said Stan as he gratefully accepted his drink.
"Now tell me, Stan. What's troubling you?"
"Well you see, father," said Stan. "Even though I've been to bible study and all, there's something I'm not quite sure of. I'm still confused on how the bible views homosexuality."
"Oh... that's a tough issue," said Father Maxi. "Anything in particular that you want to know?"
"Well," began Stan, "just the whole thing in general. Is it accepted by the Catholic church, or even by any religion?"
"Well..." began Father Maxi, and Stan could just tell that he wasn't going to get a direct answer from the man. "I'm not sure if I'm the right person to ask. You see, if homosexuality was condemned then those child-molesting priests would be condemned as well... I can say that the act itself isn't normal, but... whether it is accepted or not I can't say."
"Why not?" asked Stan in frustration. "You're a Catholic priest! If you don't know than who does?"
"I think that asking Jesus would be a better bet," said Father Maxi. "Of course, God himself would be an even better bet. But they are higher up the ranks, so to say. Talk to them." Stan nodded understandingly, and as he sipped the last of the orange juice from his cup the boy got up and said his thanks.
And of course, that had been that. Stan had followed his advice, but writing to God did not seem to help the situation much at all. Of course it wasn't really like that, as it was more like Stan hadn't even gotten a response yet. Still, it had been so long ago, and the question was still left unanswered. And though at the time he had meant the answer to help Kyle, now he wondered the answer for his own benefit.
Stan sat up on his bed, being careful to not wake up the boy beside him. He couldn't stop thinking of how he was sleeping next to Kyle. Kyle! Stan glanced to his side, and saw how peacefully the boy slept. His figure rising like the tides of water (though with a much higher frequency), and the sound of his breathing like the maxima on a sine graph, occurring only periodically. He was so peaceful, both when he was awake, and when he was asleep.
And Stan had to remind himself that he could've been his.
He felt a salty tear trickle down his cheek as he continued to stare at Kyle. Why did he so harshly reject the boy? He tried to remember why he didn't like him to begin with. Of course it was human to feel that way; when someone is filled with passion towards a person, it becomes incredulous how other emotions could have possibly been felt in the past. Stan felt similarly, and though all he wanted to do was embrace the halcyon boy in his arms the only thing he could do was watch him sleep and continue to wallow in self-pity.
Perhaps Stan needed help. Perhaps that being with Clyde wouldn't really help him in any way. It would only plague Stan further to have feelings for someone else besides him. It wouldn't be fair to the boy, who was innocent in every respect. Stan supposed he'd have to call the one-sided relationship eventually.
He supposed that was a start.
- - - - - - - - - -
Stan was extremely surprised to find an empty bed when he woke up. He looked around for any signs of the boy, perhaps a used toothbrush or a note on the table, but he found nothing. Stan found this occurrence quite odd, but he left for school nevertheless, not wanting to be late for school.
As he had found out later that morning Kyle had merely left early from the house. Kyle told him that it was "to meet Kenny," and though Stan accepted this as valid he felt disturbed by it. It hadn't affected the two much though, and they were still able to present their Edgar Allen Poe project without too much difficulty.
"Great job," Clyde had complimented after their presentation. Stan had felt a hole when he had said this, mainly because he knew that he was going to have to break his heart soon enough. At the time though he merely nodded and smiled, shooting the compliment right back at him when Clyde finished his own presentation.
It was only during third period, Stan's American Government class, that things began to change. Ms. Kitorese had returned, but as Stan's hopes went down the drain (and Cartman's had increased) she had declared that the debate would not take place.
"But miss," said Cartman, "I was really psyched to present today!"
"I can't hold the debate," said Ms. Kitorese. "There's a lot of things we need to cover still, for starters. We need to get through major court cases, like Brown v. the Board of Education, and Marbury v. Madison. We need to cover the Judiciary Act and Judicial Review. Basically, we simply have no time. Also, I believe that the topic we're debating on has become too controversial, and though that was the main point of the debate it has extended to a major degree. I was informed that on Friday a boy was beat up, and today another. I simply can't proceed with the debate. Now, if you would all turn to pages-"
"Aw, that's bullcrap," said Cartman, and Stan looked at the boy with complete distaste. He knew that Cartman was responsible for the attack on Friday. But... what about that boy today? Stan looked around the room, and though after he counted the kids in the class he knew that they were on student short, he couldn't quite place a name on who it was exactly.
"They don't even have their full team anyways," said Craig.
"I'm not arguing the topic further," said their teacher. "Now if you would please turn to-"
"That's bullcrap," said Cartman. "They were all fags anyways."
"Stan's not a fag," said Kenny in his defense.
"Yeah he so is," said Cartman.
"No."
"Yeah."
"No."
"Ah fine!" yelled Craig. "But Clyde's still a fag. We all know that." And at that moment it hit Stan. He knew who was missing. Even more... he knew who was responsible.
"Where's Clyde?" Stan asked. The class remained quiet after this question; some truthfully didn't know the answers, others concealed the truth, and even others knew but didn't want to be involved. Stan repeated the question once more, and still he got no response. He knew that Cartman knew what was going on, and he refused to break eye contact with him.
"I quite frankly remember saying to flip to pages-"
"Do you know, Ms. Kitorese?" asked Stan.
"Why of course," she replied. "But I don't see why it concerns you so much. In fact, why does all of this concern everyone? For the millionth time, can we all just turn to-"
"Tell me," said Stan. The teacher gave a long sigh, not wanting to give in to Stan. In the end though she knew that she wasn't going to get anywhere with her class. She gave in.
"He's in the hospital," she said softly. "During his second period class he was beat up because he was suspected of being gay. No one's been able to find out why this happened, but I personally suspect that it's a hate crime by ANTIGSA."
"Hey!" said Cartman. "We had no association with that whatsoever!"
"Token did," blurted Craig before realizing that it had been a wrong move. But Stan was no longer paying attention to the class around him. If he had heard correctly... someone, or some people, had beaten up Clyde... and it was a weird feeling that Stan was feeling. Early that morning Stan felt the need to break Clyde's heart for his benefit, but now... Stan couldn't put himself through it. He just couldn't part with the boy with this much in his life. He already had enough with his life... breaking apart from him would hurt him more.
And Stan realized... all the times he complained about having to break two hearts at once... but it was so much worse having one heart broken twice.
Ahhh it was way too short! But I can't think of anything more! I PROMISE! I'll make the next chapter long. And I'm serious. It's gonna be another Stylish chapter.
Clyde fans, it's not yet over...
review! and read Snowflakes! Make me happy. I need all the happiness I can get.
And now... I'm going back to my room to think of ways to mend the friendship I just completely broke. (sigh).