So I'm going to be optimistic... this chapter is going to be really gooood! (and then, watch it suck... lol)
New random disclaimer! I know that the majority of you don't do this, but I was browsing through some work on DeviantArt and saw a lot of fanart for fanfiction stories. Soooo... if for some reason you feel motivated to draw something from my story (I don't see how you could do that right now though...) I do give you permission, though I would also request that you give me a link so I can see it too. So yeah. I don't really care. :)
So uh... a lot of KylesupportingStan (that be one word, lol) in this chapter. Or at least I hope to. And I'm working on placing the kids in character. Meh. I suck at that; I'll admit that much.
And for my personal blurb... no I have not mended that friendship yet. And yes, my heart still feels broken. But I'm venting by writing this. So it's all good.
I want to aim for twelve reviews this chapter... Why, you ask me? It's rather silly; thirteen reviews bring me to 126 total... making an even seven reviews per chapter. haha... I'm a math nerd. BUT that doesn't necessarily mean that I won't update if I don't get that many. It also doesn't mean that you guys are only reviewing that much; I think you gave like 12 reviews for chapter 14. THANKS! Review replies are gonna be in chapter... 20 or 21.
Current song addiction? It's Not Goodbye, by Laura Pausini.
Thanks for the reviews... you guys pwn. Now... erm, this is where chapter 18 starts...
It would be to no surprise, of course, that the whole school would learn what happened to Clyde.
Stan didn't like that idea one bit. News and gossip traveled way too fast at this school, and he knew that one day it would hurt him. He wasn't sure if anyone knew about the incident before Ms. Kitorese told her third period class, but he was definitely sure that within the next period it was almost as if every student knew. Thankfully not that many people knew yet that he had a close relationship with the boy, and so he wasn't asked much about the matter.
Yet even with this absence of pestering questions Stan felt troubled, and knowing that he still had to serve a full detention for Mr. Absenence didn't help at all. Clyde was hurt, and Stan was stuck at school. As much as he wanted to break his relationship with the boy he still felt obligated to be by his side. Technically the two were not yet split, and not being there for Clyde would make him a bad boyfriend.
But another concept entered his mind... what would Kyle think of him? Sure, it was a rather cliché to think about, but it still bothered Stan. Would Kyle ever want a boyfriend who didn't look after him? Stan tried reassuring him that it was impossible to see him anyway due to school, but the idea still resounded in his head, and that Kyle wouldn't care anyway because he had Kenny.
Of course, the matter plagued his mind with no mercy. Every time Stan would try thinking of something else, football or school, television or how ANTIGSA would make his day any worse, guilt would set in, and Stan would be engrossed with the concept all over again. Even through lunch, one of Stan's favorite times of the day, he did not eat much, he did not talk much, and he didn't look at anyone else very much.
His friends did not fail in noticing, though.
"I'm fine," replied Stan when Kenny had asked him if he was feeling well.
"No you're not," retorted Kyle. "That's pretty bold of you to lie about something that obvious."
"He's right, dude," said Kenny. "If this is you being fine then I'm not sure how I met you." Stan glared at him and only hung his head further, which caused Kenny to add, "aw come on Stan, I was kidding."
"You sure you okay, dude?" asked Kyle. Stan nodded profusely.
"Of course." And that's how it had ended... for now. He left his lunch untouched, not even opened, and if his gaze could set things on fire his shoes would be incinerating by now. He could feel the two other occupants of the table staring at him, and occasionally several whispers. But none of it really matters to Stan. He just wanted to leave.
"...Remember guys, meeting after school..." Stan raised his head immediately after recognizing the voice. His eyes grew became malicious slits, snake-like, and sought the location of the cursed voice.
"...Yeah yeah, I know... we were supposed to have it yesterday but no one showed up..." After looking almost directly behind him Stan found his target.
Cartman.
He got out of his seat, and though he heard Kyle protest against what he was about to do he ignored him. He felt his fingers roll into balled fists, and his arms tensed. Fury filled his once-melancholy mind, and with his target set the only color he could see was red.
"...Remember to show up, yeh guys," said Cartman, and as he was prepared to throw his abnormally large lunch remnants into the trash Stan caught up with him.
"Why'd you do it, Cartman?" he seethed.
"I'm telling yeh," said Cartman. "I had nothin' to with it."
"What do you take me for?" spat Stan. "I wasn't born yesterday."
"Yeah, the day before," shot back Cartman. "Listen Stan, I told yeh in third period. We didn't have anything to do with it."
"Bullshit," cursed Stan. "Craig said something about Token. He's in your club, isn't he?"
"Well yeah," said Cartman. "But like I told yeh guys, ANTIGSA had nothin to do with that. He probably did it on his own accord."
"He's still influenced by your stupid club!" yelled Stan. "My point is not that you're a fucking homosexual hater! It's how you're treating them! You can hold your hatred to yourself, can't you?"
"Why do you care so much about Clyde?" asked Cartman. "Is it 'cause you're one too? Tell me, Stan, are you gay?"
"No," Stan lied. "I just care that you're going around beating people up for an unjustified reason."
"Oh, like Kyle," Cartman smirked, causing Stan to breath steam out of his nose. "Well I told yeh we had nothin to do with it. If yeh don't believe me then screw you guys, I'm-"
"THEN GO HOME!" yelled Stan, and he stormed off.
Not... quite... the effect that he had wanted...
- - - - - - - - - -
Once the last bell had rung Stan had rushed out of his class, bursting into a sprint towards his locker. The lockers outside his Geometry class were always crowded if he got there too late, and he wanted to leave school as soon as possible. He would somehow have to get home, change into more comfortable attire, and find a ride to the hospital. He was going to ditch his detention; Mr. Absenence would have to understand.
Or in short, he was doomed. He heard the honking of a horn outside his house, but he ignored this and grasped his hair in frustration as if meaning to pull it right out of its roots. He shouted in fury, though his empty house gave no response save the slight echoes. Thoughts of Clyde filled his mind; how he would be the only one not to visit him. Some boyfriend he was. And though Stan reasoned that he was planning on breaking it off anyway he still knew that he had to be there. But with both his parents not there, especially since his father had to work overtime due to a large sediment analysis, he wouldn't be getting to the hospital any time soon.
Unless that horn honking outside his house actually meant anything. Still he ignored it, stomping up the stairs of his house. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed in into a small bin that contained his laundry. He stretched for a couple of seconds before tossing his jeans along with his shirt. He tiptoed his way to his closet and began ravaging it for clothing to wear. It's just a hospital, Stan reminded himself. You're not dressing up for a special occasion... Lie. He was dressing up for Clyde... or Kyle... or both? He continued scanning his closet for a shirt, and when he had spotted a decent shirt he frowned; the shirt was folded up neatly at the back of his closet. Frustrated, he began to reach in the grasp the shirt. If it weren't for all the winter coats in the way...
"Nice view, Stan," said a voice. Stan froze at the voice, and after quickly snatching the shirt he straightened himself up. He didn't even want to think about how he would've looked just now, though the person who had just spoken could have probably explained it to him if he wanted to know. He felt himself turn read from the comment, and he hoped to God that it wasn't as noticeable from behind.
"How'd you get it...?" stammered Stan.
The person behind him chuckled. "Dude, you know that I know where your house key is." Stan heard the boy seat himself on his bed. "My mom's been honking her horn for ages now, so I decided to check and see what's taking you so long."
"Taking me so long?" repeated Stan.
"Yeah dude, we're taking you to the hospital. I know that you couldn't make it, so after we picked up Kenny I told my mom to pass by your house." Stan chuckled, realizing how stupid his dilemma seemed now. Why had he thought that he was doomed?
"Thanks dude," Stan said.
"Uh, Stan?"
"Yeah?"
"Put some pants on. And a shirt." Stan felt himself go even redder, if at all possible, and gave an unrecognizable nod, pulling his newly claimed shirt over his head. He continued to search for pants in his closet, though it was a lot easier of a task. Why did he have to have so many clothes in his closet? He made a mental note to give some to his mother later to donate them.
When Stan was properly attired he closed his closet, and met up with Kyle. The two left Stan's room, closing the door behind them, and made their way out of the house.
"Will you be needing an escort, monsieur?" Stan said in a French-like accent, offering his hand. Kyle smirked at the boy's action, and gladly took it.
"Merci," replied Kyle once they reached the base floor. Then, taking initiative, he rushed ahead to the door and opened it, repeating the same action for Stan. It was all fun and games, Stan thought, and after locking the door the two ran towards Mrs. Broflovski's car, piling into the back seat.
"Up here, Bubbie," said his mother, and Kyle complained. Stan could see her eyes snarling at Kenny, and Stan had to chuckle. She could not accept Kyle all she wanted for his orientation, but he knew that she would never deny his friendships... at least Stan hoped that. Eventually though Kyle complied, and a small gap remained between the raven boy and the blonde boy. Ike was not in the car, and Stan supposed that Mr. Broflovski was taking care of him at home.
The car ride was all too familiar to Stan, and he remembered how Kyle had been the one they were visiting last time. He remembered not being able to look at the boy when he had first seen him in the bed, and how Kenny had talked to him about it. Who would be comforting him this time around?
As the four entered the hospital Stan felt like he was going to barf. He hated hospitals; he had been here a few times more than he had wanted to. For a second he felt as if he was reliving a moment in his life, but as soon as they had passed the room Kyle had been in he felt that moment pass. It was only a few rooms down until they reached their destination, and as Mrs. Broflovski opened the door he felt his insides rise again.
It was different though. Seeing Clyde in the hospital bed wasn't the same as seeing Kyle in one. He still felt the urgent need to leave the room nonetheless, but it still wasn't as bad. He didn't feel hopeless, and though he knew the cause of the accident he didn't feel obligated to beat the living daylight out of his attacker, namely Cartman.
He felt a hand supportively patting him on the shoulder, and he had expected it to be Kenny like last time. It wasn't him, however, and when the boy asked if he would be all right he knew that this would be among the other things that wouldn't be the same as last time. He needed to start differentiating between past and present.
"I'll be fine," stated Stan, but Kyle only chuckled once more.
"I know you dude," said Kyle. "You won't be."
"I'm not kidding," said Stan, taking a deep breath.
"No you won't," said Kyle. "I know what happened at lunch; you almost blew up. I know what happened with Wendy; you joined a Goth group and went completely emo. You won't be fine."
"Then why did you ask me if you know the answer?" Stan muttered.
"I didn't mean for you to answer. I just wanted to lend you my support."
"Why, Kyle?" asked Stan, and he felt horrible letting out tears. "Why's it always people close to me that end up in the hospital? First Kenny... then you... then Clyde..."
"There are other people going through you grief," said Kyle. "You aren't the only one suffering."
"Cartman's doing this to me," said Stan. "He beat up you, and then Clyde..."
"Dude, he hates me more than you!" said Kyle. "Don't be like that. Seriously."
"But it seems so true, doesn't it?" sobbed Stan. "You know it's true..." Stan couldn't help himself any longer, and he knew that there was nothing now that would stop tears from flowing out of his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and sank to the floor, tears flowing like rivers being released from broken dams. He heard Kyle sink with him, and felt a comforting arm snake around his shoulders. Stan looked to his left and saw Kyle looking at his face caringly, and though he felt himself go red he no longer cared. The boy gave him a warming smile, and he used his left finger to wipe tears off his face.
"It's not true Stan," said Kyle. "Things will be okay. I promise. But Clyde needs you in there. He needs us in there. So why don't we get back in there?" Stan nodded his head, wiped his tears away from his eyes, and stood up. Yet as he returned back to the room his inner self was smiling.
Maybe there were really were things that repeated itself.
- - - - - - - - - -
Clyde was in a much better condition than Kyle had been, and he was definitely able to respond. After giving him an update on the occurences at school they began talking about other things, topics that Stan knew nothing about, and others he was very knowledgeable in. The three boys were seated around Clyde in chairs, with Kenny on one side and Kyle and Stan on the other side. Kyle had been by Stan's side since he was still shaken up, and even after Stan had stopped crying he kept his arm around the boy's shoulder. Stan wasn't complaining, but at least Kenny nor Clyde seemed to mind.
"That debate's not happening anymore," said Kenny.
"Really?" asked Clyde.
"Yeah," said Stan. "She thinks it's too much of a controversial topic."
"No kidding," replied Kyle. "But hey, did you hear about Cartman?"
"Of course," said Stan bitterly. "How could I not?"
"No, no, not that," said Kyle. "I was talking about how he's dating Wendy?"
"WHAT?" yelled Stan, though as he said it he sank into his seat and looked rather embarrassed for his outburst. Wendy dating Cartman? Why would she settle for someone like... her? At least Token hadn't been as much of a jerk... but Cartman?
"It's really weird," continued Kyle, "though I guess you could say it was kinda expected. I mean, she was one of the first people to join his club-"
"WHAT?" exclaimed Stan a second time, and after glancing around the room he quieted down. "Wendy...?"
"It's okay dude," said Kenny. "We all knew you used to like her."
"Don't barf on us now," added Clyde, and the room burst into laughter. Stan felt himself turn red in embarrassment, but he said nothing and took it in. "Or on me, for that matter."
Crap... Stan forgot he wanted to break off with Clyde...
"Wendy was really adamant about the club," said Kyle. "It's weird; she's the last person I would've thought... she probably has some motive of her own... but Cartman?"
"I tell you," said Stan. "The world is after me!"
"Stan, the whole world isn't after you," said Kyle. "Seriously dude."
"Yeah," said Kenny.
"But-" Yet Stan was unable to finish his sentence. He heard footsteps down the hallway outside, and as he waited he could hear laughter as well. He half-expected to see Kenny and Ike bursting into the room, but he reminded himself that Kenny was in the room with them. He waited a few seconds longer, catching the attention of the other three.
"You okay dude?" said Kyle, finally taking his arm off Stan.
"Yeah, it's just that... someone's..." The laughter grew even louder, and as he saw shadows Stan held his breath and gulped, waiting for the person to appear through the doorway.
Clearly the past and present were not identical in nature. And as the source of the laughter became visible through the doorway of their room Stan felt as if he was at the gates of Hell itself.
It was him.
Yes... ending! Review please! You'll make my day.
I'm going to sit down and talk with that friend of mine tomorrow! So... maybe I'll be able to repair that friendship? Wish me luck, I guess. Or success. Either one.
Zakuyoe is out. Please review while he types up the next chapter.