Love Hurts

A Note: Looking back, I realize I'm getting better at coming up with chap titles! Hallelujah! Others: ... you call that better? Me: lll ...doom...lll

Karin sat on her bed, with her cell at her ear. One of the last things she had to settle. Jin.

Jin: Hello?

Karin: Jin? It's me, Karin.

Silence.

Jin: Oh hey, Karin.

Karin: I just wanted to say I'm—

Jin: —Really, it's okay. I understand.

Karin: You do?

Jin: Yes. I shouldn't have made you and Kazune-kun accept me.

Karin: I'm so glad you—hey wait. Kazune-kun accept you? What do you mean?

Jin: You don't know? I thought Kazune-kun told you. The only reason he let us stay at the Kujyou residence is because Micchi and I provoked him.

Karin: … Omigosh I completely misunderstood him!!!

Jin: We said that we wanted to see who you liked, me, Micchi, or Kazune-kun. Of course, the only competitors were Kazune-kun and I. Micchi just wanted to get closer to Himeka-chan. We made the plan before we arrived.

Karin: So that explains all the exchanging-glance thingy!

Jin: -sweat drops- I guess you noticed, huh.

Karin: Jin, I'm sorry. I'm happy you like me and all, I mean; you're really nice and stuff. But my feelings… is just all weird. I can't explain why I like Kazune-kun.

Jin: -sighs- I guess you like him more than I thought. If you actually had a reason why you liked him, I would have a chance. But you don't even have a reason… I'm no match.

Karin: Oh, Jin… I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you… again…

Jin: It's alright, really. I can't force my feelings on you. Love is just like that. There are winners… and there are losers. I guess this is goodbye.

Karin: Wait, Jin! Aren't you coming back?

Jin: -smiles sadly- I'll be back when school starts. I… I just need a little time to be by myself. You know… clear up my thoughts.

Karin: But--

-line goes dead-

Karin looked at the phone, feeling numb. She just listened to it drone on with its beeping. Finally, she closed it and flopped down, closing her eyes.

At least… at least she didn't seem like she hurt Jin too much. Or maybe Jin is concealing his wound. Jin was like that.

Karin sighed and sat up, picking up her crutches. She walked everywhere aimlessly, not knowing where to stop or go.

Suddenly, she stopped at a door. She looked at the door and realized it was Kazune-kun's. She didn't know why, but she wanted to see him. She knocked. No response. She knocked again.

This time Kazune-kun opened the door. "Karin?" He had a white button up shirt, only buttoned up halfway, with beige cargo pants.

He opened the door wider and helped her in. Once they were settled, Kazune-kun pulled a chair before her and rested his elbows on his thighs, head on his hands. "So?" His blue gaze made Karin's heart speed up.

"I-I don't know." She stammered, suddenly realizing how stupid she must look. She had knocked on a boy's door and walked in for no reason.

Kazune-kun smiled, amused.

Then Karin suddenly blurted out, "I just wanted to see you!"

Kazune-kun's eyes widened and a faint blush spread on his cheeks.

Karin bit her lip and played with her fingers, a million thoughts racing through her head. She wanted to smack herself. Now she looked even more pathetic. She had knocked on a boy's door and walked in because she just wanted to see him. Maybe she should've just stuck with no reason at all.

Kazune-kun pulled his chair closer to her and smiled at her, raising her lowered head. "I'm glad you came by, Karin. I wanted to see you too."

They stared at each other quietly. Kazune-kun reached out and pulled her into a hug. Karin rested her head against his bare chest.

"Karin… y' know, we should stop with all this fighting and jealousy love war. It's not good for any of us. I mean, we fight for each other, but we always end up knowing we like each other. And sometimes, we knew it all along, we just want to prove it, y' know?" Kazune-kun said, stroking her head.

Karin sighed. "True. We should stop. I mean, there's hardly any point of having this war. Sometimes we just let others get the better of us. And sometimes… sometimes I think I'm so bad. I mean, I say I want to give other people a chance, but really, they have no chance. Because I know clearly who I like. And in the end, I just hurt them because they think they lost."

Then they just sat there in silence, both thinking about this eventful summer. There were smiles enjoyed, but there were also tears fallen. And somehow, they felt like they never had a break. "I love you, Karin, you know that, right?" Kazune-kun said, playing with her hair. "I love you too, but if you keep doing that to my hair, I'll have second thoughts." Karin said, pointing at what Kazune-kun was doing to her hair. "You're going to make my hair a mess."

They laughed, and Kazune-kun leaned back and looked at Karin in the eye. "Do you think we could finally finish what I've tried to do?" Karin looked at him blankly, and then realized what he was hinting.

She blushed and smiled.

Kazune-kun smiled too and titled her head back, their faces getting closer… closer…

... And this time, their lips met. No interruptions at all. No Himeka-chan, no Fuka, no Jin, no Micchi, not anyone. No one could interrupt or break this special moment.

When they broke apart, Kazune-kun cupped Karin's face in his hands. "Karin… I'm so glad you're here."

Karin flushed bright pink and smiled, "Of course! Who wouldn't be glad?" Then they burst into laughter.

Then Karin suddenly remembered something. "I forgot to do something!" She jumped up and grabbed her crutches. Kazune-kun jumped up too, alarmed. "What, what's wrong?!"

Karin turned her eyes on him, her jade green eyes a little frantic.

"I need to talk to Hiroshi!"

"Is that you, Karin?" Karin felt a pang of sadness at how weak the voice sounded. "It's me, Hiroshi. It's Karin." She said, sitting down beside the bed.

She looked at the boy, who now looked fragile and weak, like a glass figure. Hiroshi opened his eyes and turned his head. The shine in his golden eyes had disappeared. "Karin… how is Fuka?" He asked.

"She's fine. But Hiroshi, about Hotaru—"

"—it doesn't matter anymore. I… I was too angry to think straight." He smiled sadly. "I mean, even Hotaru forgave her."

"Oh really—wait, what?!" Karin asked, her eyes widening. "Hotaru forgave Fuka?"

Hiroshi smiled vaguely. "The way I found out about why Hiroshi was so sad that day was his journal that he writes everyday. He keeps it on him wherever he goes. When I arrived to the hospital, Hotaru was already dead. These policemen and doctors were everywhere, and these people said that they were sorry and handed over his things he was carrying. There was his backpack, his cell, some books and stuff. But the only thing that I caught my eye was his journal. I read it and found out about Fuka. I gave the stuff to my parents, but I kept the journal. I thought the entry in which he wrote about what Fuka did to him was the last one. But I was wrong." He stopped right there, and pointed to some bags hanging on the wall.

"That black backpack over there. Reach in, and there's a book with a sky blue cover. That's Hotaru's journal." Karin did what he said, and brought out a book with a sky blue cover, just like he said.

"But while I was at this hospital, I had a lot of time to think things over. I read the journal again, and noticed another entry." He continued, "I never noticed it, and I was definitely curious about what the entry said. Open it and you'll see what it says."

Karin opened the book, and read it out loud. "Today, Fuka and I broke up. Fuka said she was gay—"

"No, no, no, not that one." Hotaru waved his hands.

Karin, confused, flipped to the next page. It was blank. She continued flipping it, but they were all blank. What the heck? Where's the last entry? Karin furrowed her eyebrows. Then she noticed a page with writing. It was on the last page of the journal.

I know I said I hated Fuka for lying to me. But really, I don't hate her at all. I still love her. I guess I hate myself for that. I mean, I'm pretty stupid… I'm a pathetic guy who's in love with a gay girl who totally played with him. I'm just kidding. Yeah, I still love her, but I understand. I know her long enough to understand her. I bet she was lost and confused because of her sex appeal. She probably still wasn't sure if she was gay or not.

Karin gasped. Hotaru really was a good friend of Fuka. That was exactly what Fuka was doing. She was so happy he understood.

And unfortunately, I was the test. I guess I'm glad though. At least it's not someone else that got hurt… and I guess I'm getting kind of desperate here… but I got a chance to know what it's like to have Fuka for a girlfriend. Even if the ending was bitter, I'm glad the beginning was sweet. And although she doesn't love me, as long as I love her. I've just realized how painful it is to love someone and but is impossible for them to love you back, even if they want to. We're just living in two separate worlds… I just wish… I just wish we could live in the same one. Maybe I'll still have the courage tomorrow to say 'I love you' to her, even if I know I'm not going to have the same answer.

-Hotaru

Tears fell out of her eyes and dropped on the page. "I'm so sorry!" Karin cried, wiping her tears. "I made the journal wet!" She felt her face burn in embarrassment. She couldn't help it. Hotaru's entry made her feel so sad. She quietly thought about what Hotaru had written.

'I've just realized how painful it is to love someone but is impossible for them to love you back, even if they want to.' Impossible to be loved back… it really was painful. Hotaru… maybe he was like other boys. Like Jin. It was true. Fuka would've given anything in the world to not to be gay. Maybe then she wouldn't have to face all these things.

She looked back at the neat writing. Karin wished that Hotaru was alive. He seemed so… Karin couldn't find a word to describe him. Kind? Nice? Compassionate?

Maybe all those… But Karin felt that better and more words could describe him.

Maybe I'll still have the courage tomorrow to say 'I love you' to her, even if I know I'm not going to have the same answer. At this point Karin felt like she had a hole in her heart. To have the courage to say 'I love you' tomorrow… little did he know that he wouldn't have a tomorrow.

That's when she noticed a pair of eyes on her. She looked up and found Hiroshi studying her. "Hiroshi… do you mind if I borrow it? I know it's really precious, but Fuka needs to see this." She said quickly, pleading. "Fuka needs to know the expression on Hotaru's face. He's smiling. Hotaru's smiling."

Hiroshi's eyes widened, and started chuckling. "Hiroshi? Why are you laughing? Does that mean you won't let me borrow it?" Karin asked frantically. Fuka must see this!

"No, Karin." He turned looked at me, a bit amused. "It's just that… you really are something else."

You really are something else… Kazune-kun said that a lot to her too.

"Karin, can you come closer? I need to tell you something that Hotaru taught me." He said, pulling at her arm.

Confused, she stood up and kneeled down right beside him. "Closer." She shifted her head closer. "Closer, it's a secret." He urged. Karin, furrowing her eyebrows, put her head right next to his mouth.

He cupped his hands around her ear and whispered, "Don't wait until it's too late to say I love you. Karin…"

Before he could say more, Karin jerked back, her heart slamming against her chest, realizing what Hiroshi's about to say. But Hiroshi pulled her back and kissed her.

After a few seconds, Karin pulled back, backing away until she reached a safe distance.

"Hiroshi…" Karin stammered. "It's not right. Not right at all. Hotaru, you don't love me. You hardly know me!"

Hiroshi closed his eyes. "I honestly would've attacked Fuka earlier. But while I was preparing for the best time to strike, I was also watching you."

"What?!" Karin's eyes were as big as saucers. Now that she thought of it, it was kind of scary. She was being watched and she never realized.

"You interested me when we met. Well, long before that. Fuka talked about you all the time and you guys sounded as if you were close. She told me about her first stay and everything about you. And when we met, I really wanted to get to know you." He continued, "But I also had to remember I was acting as a gay girl with a girlfriend. I couldn't forget that. If I did, all my hard work would go down the drain."

It chilled her how plotting to murder a person could be called hard work. And he said it as if it was just some simple idea he was planning.

"But Karin, I guess enough is enough. After I get out of the hospital, I have to leave here. This place… is not a place I should stay. Fuka is staying. It's not good for neither of us if I stay." He sighed.

Karin didn't protest.

"But at least I had a chance to say what I wanted to say. You can borrow the journal. I don't want to be rude, but I'm a bit worn out." Hiroshi said, hinting her to leave.

Karin nodded, picked up her crutches and hobbled out. As she closed the door quietly behind her, she heard him murmur, "Hotaru…"

Karin looked at the ground, placed the book carefully in her bag and walked down the hall, away from Hiroshi who suffered the wound in his heart more than his physical ones.

::::::: My writing is getting too serious! A where's the humor? Where's the funniness? Where's the ha-ha- ness?

Others: Aren't they all the same? -.-

Me: Err... x ;;; :::::::