by shiiki
August, 1980
There were boxes everywhere, piled from the ground almost to the ceiling. Lily took one look at it and sighed heavily. Unpacking was going to be a chore, especially if they were going to do it without magic. At least when they'd moved out from their home at Godric's Hollow, she'd been able to but a Packing Charm on their belongings.
Thinking of the home she'd just left behind wasn't improving her mood. Although they'd only lived there for a mere ten months, Lily already felt incurably attached to the place. It was the home she and James had made for themselves; where they'd intended to build their life together; where she'd imagined living in, as a cosy family of three.
Harry probably wouldn't even remember the place now; he'd only lived there a month. He wouldn't get to grow up in the room with the walls she'd specially painted and enchanted – such a waste! She'd loved that room; how she'd looked forward to spending time with Harry in it!
Instead, they were here, renting a house in Ledbury that was nice enough, but in such a distant sort of way that Lily couldn't warm to it at all. Unpacking large boxes (they'd had to hire movers to cart their less magical belongings, to keep up appearances among the Muggles) without magic so as to remain untraceable by magical means.
Godric knew what they would do if Harry set off some accidental magic – although from what she'd read on wizarding children, the first sign of magic generally manifested itself after a child learnt to walk.
All this because of some stupid prophecy that might not even refer to Harry at all. She didn't want the Longbottoms' son to be targeted, but if it came down to a choice between Neville and Harry … well, what mother would want her own son in danger? Lily rubbed at her forehead wearily, wishing fervently that Divination had never existed.
'Ooh, is Mummy having a headache, now? She doesn't look too happy, does she, Harry?'
The sight of James coming down the hall, rocking Harry in his arms, made her smile faintly. He really was wonderful with Harry – she'd never seen him so enraptured. James held their baby up to her and Lily took him into her arms. Harry batted at her arm, his little fingers opening and closing as he did so. He managed to grasp a lock of her hair, and he tightened his hand around it.
'Ow …' Lily gently loosened his grip. Harry blinked up at her, looking for all the world like James when she'd caught him in an act of mischief – except those were her own eyes staring back at her. James seemed to realise this, too, for he chortled.
'The innocent act doesn't work on her, Harry. Believe me, I've tried.'
'Except you don't do innocent as well as Harry, James.'
James sniffed. 'Just because he's ten times smaller –'
'And much more adorable. Plus, he is innocent. Though between you and Sirius, I'm not sure how long that'll last.'
'Please. We wouldn't corrupt the baby. Not at all.' Harry gurgled as James reached out a finger to tickle him. 'Look who's happy now,' he said, grinning.
Lily bent her head down towards Harry, drinking in his fresh, powdery infant smell. The boxes could wait, she decided, while she spent some family time with Harry and James. And to hell with Voldemort and the prophecy. They'd keep Harry safe, no matter what, and he'd always be loved.
---
Hallowe'en, 1980
Harry loved the pumpkin. James had cut two triangular-shaped eyes out rather clumsily with a knife (the plaster on his thumb attested to his lack of dexterity with the tool) and made a lopsided grin to match. Harry wouldn't stop poking his fingers through the holes and waggling them, giggling madly as he did so. He yelled out in delight as his hands came out of the pumpkin's mouth, covered in wet, orange flesh.
'That's a pumpkin, Harry,' said Lily, as Harry happily smeared orange goo over the front of her robes. 'Can you say "pumpkin"?'
'Goo!' cried Harry indistinctly but quite accurately, as he was pointing to the orange blob across her chest.
'Food fight, Harry?' said James, grinning. 'Sounds like a good idea!'
'Oh – for heaven's sake, James. You can clean up.'
'Don't mind if I do.' He winked at her and took the last piece of pumpkin pie. 'Cleaning up the food off the plates, that is!'
She gave him an exasperated look, which he returned with what he obviously felt was a winning smile.
'You make a hell of a pie, Lily – even without magic!'
'James! Don't swear in front of Harry, will you? I won't forgive you if his first word's a curse!'
'No, that won't happen,' said James confidently. 'Come on, Harry, say "Dad". Then Daddy will be happy, and Mummy will be happy, too, because it wasn't "he-" all right, Lily, I didn't say it!'
A shout of laughter from the baby made them turn – and stare. The pumpkin was levitated in mid-air, wobbling slowly towards James. Lily felt her eyes widen as she looked from Harry to the pumpkin and back again. Surely not … it couldn't be, he was too young …
The pumpkin hovered over the head of a very dumbstruck James, and then the Levitation Charm lost its grip. James brought his hands up to shield himself just as the pumpkin splattered over him.
'Pie!' Harry clapped his hands happily.
Lily burst out laughing. 'Clever boy, Harry! Daddy wanted more pie, didn't he?' What a weapon to be able to wield over James – Harry's first magic had been to play a prank on him. Poetic justice indeed!
'Oh that's right, let's all pick on Daddy,' complained James, wiping his face. 'I –'
The sharp ring of the doorbell cut him off. Lily froze suddenly, jarred out of her joyous mood. Shit – accidental magic … it's harder to track, but not impossible!
'He wouldn't … not this fast …' James must have been thinking along the same lines. 'It's … it's probably Sirius?'
'Why'd he ring the doorbell?' Lily tried to keep the note of panic out of her voice. 'He can just Apparate in, he's authorised –'
'Take Harry,' said James in a low voice. 'Take Harry; I'll go and – and have a look. It's probably nothing.' However, he didn't sound at all convinced.
'James –'
The gleam of fear in his eyes silenced her. He wasn't afraid for himself; it was for Harry and her that he worried. Lily snatched up Harry as he disappeared down the hall and tried to fix her mind on a destination where she could safely Disapparate to should the need arise.
She heard the front door click open … waited with bated breath …
'Trick or treat!'
She might have collapsed if she hadn't been holding Harry in her arms. As it was, she held a hand out against the wall, steadying herself.
Children. Only children.
Their laughter could be heard travelling down the hall. Weak with relief, Lily went to join James at the door. He was staring dumbfounded at the group of five children on their doorstep, clad in strange costumes: two in sheets with round eye-holes; one looking very much like the pumpkin Harry had just smashed; another in what was probably meant to be a pirate suit; the last had secured black robes (or was it just a loose black dress?) and a pointy wizard's hat.
'Happy Hallowe'en, ma'am,' chirped the pirate-suit boy upon seeing her. He held up a small cloth bag hopefully.
'Happy Hallowe'en,' she replied, feeling a bit confused – surely these were Muggle children, but as far as she knew, Muggles didn't celebrate Hallowe'en. The tallest of the group, the robed girl, must have noticed her bewilderment.
'We do this back home,' said the girl. She had a drawling American accent. 'Go door to door all dressed up, and you're supposed to give us candy or we play a trick on you – well, people usually just give us candy, so we've never done a trick before. And we probably won't, even if you don't have any candy.' The children looked a bit crestfallen at the prospect, however. It seemed a strange sort of American custom, but Lily thought it'd be easy enough to play along.
'I think we can manage the treat. Sweets,' she mouthed to James. Catching on, he disappeared inside and returned shortly with his arms laden with …
Lily stifled a groan. James obviously hadn't been thinking, because he was cheerfully filling the children's bags with Chocolate Frogs and Sugar Quills. Lily hoped the poor children, who were beaming at their hoard as they left the house, wouldn't get too much of a shock when their chocolates leapt out of the packages.
---
Christmas, 1980
Lily didn't have high hopes for Christmas. Her nerves were keyed up to the highest string the whole day. It was irrational to be particularly afraid – Voldemort could choose any day of the year to attack if he intended to, after all – but past Christmas horrors kept giving her a feeling of foreboding. She couldn't help but remember Ash Christmas … the car crash the following year … last year's nasty Howler …
Relax, she told herself. They were all here – Sirius, Peter, and they had even managed to drag Remus away from whatever obscure mission he was on these days to spend the day with them. The four men were currently playing with Harry now, who was thriving under their attention.
There was Sirius, transformed into a great shaggy black dog. Harry batted at his fur curiously, grabbing great fistfuls of it. James howled with laughter as Sirius gave a most un-canine wince. There was a flash of orange smoke as Peter caught the expression on the camera he'd brought along.
Remus, Lily observed, was holding himself aloof from the other three. He sat quietly in the corner, watching the antics of Sirius and Harry – and James, who kept mercilessly egging Harry to prod at Sirius – with a distracted sort of look.
'Is everything all right?' asked Lily.
Remus started at the question. Lily noticed with slight concern that he looked ill – his face was paler than she remembered, and he looked distinctly haggard. It was true that none of them were looking their best, what with worry about the war. James and Sirius were both very thin and had bags under their eyes most of the time from the hours they kept. Even Peter had lost weight and there were wrinkles working themselves into his forehead. However, Remus looked as though he'd aged more over this war than the three of them combined. Had it to do with his lycanthropy? Lily found herself trying to recall all that James had told her about Remus's 'illness'. When had the last full moon been? (She'd long forgotten all she'd learnt in Astronomy about lunar cycles.) Might that have any effect on his appearance and energy during the full moon period? Lily seemed to recollect incidences of Remus's recurring lethargy in school.
'Yes is it, Lily,' Remus said then, answering her question with a strained sort of smile.
'I expect Dumbledore's keeping you horribly busy – no, don't worry, I won't pry,' she assured, 'I just hope you're getting enough rest. Has it been a full moon recently? James didn't mention, but he might have gone out …'
Remus shook his head. 'Everyone in the Order is busy now, it's not just me. And I ought to do more, at any rate. I haven't got a family to worry about, after all.'
Although Remus said this without a note of bitterness, Lily felt a pang of sadness and guilt. They really should have kept tabs on Remus more, looked after him a bit better. 'You're always welcome with us, Remus,' she said, leaning over to pat his arm. 'Come over, spend time with Harry – it'll do you good.'
Another strained smile. 'Don't worry about me, Lily. I'm fine, truly I am. You're right, though – perhaps I need more rest. I'm quite tired.'
She was just about to offer to make him a bed in their spare room when, as it had at Hallowe'en, the doorbell rang.
The laughter from the three men and Harry stopped as abruptly as if Silencio had been cast. Lily's eyes travelled over each of them: James's arms tightened around Harry, hoisting their son into a protective embrace; Sirius's face tightened and he pulled his wand out of his pocket; Peter turned sheet white and trembled.
Remus got up, his face blank and unreadable.
'Voldemort wouldn't ring a bell, would he?' he said calmly, but Lily's fear overrode logic. If Voldemort was outside …
Harry let out a wail and James almost dropped him. This brought Lily back to her senses and she went to them and took Harry from James.
'You're squeezing him too tightly,' she said. James handed her over wordlessly, his eyes following Remus, who was now walking down the hall.
They heard the door creak open, and then Remus's voice echoed back down to them: 'Come and see!' They all let out a collective sigh of relief; it couldn't possibly be anyone with evil intent.
It was a group of twelve eager-looking Muggle teenagers, clad in bright-coloured scarves and hats. Christmas carollers. Lily, still carrying Harry, pressed against James as their visitors delivered a hearty rendition of Christmas songs she hadn't heard since she'd been a girl. Harry, his small face rosy red in the cold air, clapped his hands and tried to sing along at the top of his lungs. He had no words, only an off-key hum, but they all laughed, including the carollers, who were immediately taken with him.
'Merry Christmas!' they cried, when Lily had managed to scrounge up some Muggle money for them, and the carollers continued down the street.
---
April, 1981
Winter passed and with the first spring flowers came hope. Voldemort hadn't come; perhaps he never would. James knew better than to let his guard down, but he could help but think, Maybe it isn't us. He could be chasing down Frank and Alice after all.
Voldemort, however, didn't seem to have found the Longbottoms either. James learnt this from Frank when he saw him early in April, not long after they watched Benjamin Fenwick get blasted to bits.
James and Frank had come because there was no choice – the Order was running desperately thin these days, with less than twenty core members, and support dwindling as people grew more and more terrified of Voldemort and his Death Eaters to take a stand.
And now yet another of their group had been taken out. Benjy's Patronus, calling for back-up, had arrived too late, and by the time the five of them arrived to help, their compatriot was flying apart into a million pieces before their very eyes.
Sturgis Podmore flew at the Death Eaters in a rage. 'Bastards!' he screamed, curses flying from his wand as he swore violently. But the Death Eater who had disintegrated Benjy laughed maliciously and Disapparated. Frank managed to Stun one, but the others got away.
They found Benjy's sister-in-law inside the house, with a child in each arm, her hands pressed tight against their eyes to prevent them from witnessing the gory duel. She was shaking horribly, but when Emmeline Vance held a hand out to her, she batted it away.
'I'm sorry,' said Emmeline.
'Wasn't Avada Kedavra enough?' hissed Sirius furiously. James didn't speak. He had a burning urge to curse the unconscious Death Eater on the ground right now.
'Uncle Benjy!' cried one of the children – he couldn't have been more than six years old. The sick feeling in James's gut intensified. For a moment he imagined Lily and Harry in Mrs Fenwick's position. He wanted to go home now, and reassure Lily that he was all right.
---
It felt good to be out in the bright April sunshine, breathing in fresh spring air. Harry was enjoying the walk as well; his chubby arms waved about as Lily pushed him, in the perambulator, down the street. A Muggle girl jogging past peeked inside and grinned at him.
Lily had debated long and hard about whether to take Harry out for a walk. In the end, it had been the pervasive worry driving her crazy that had swung her decision. She might as well walk out here as wear a path in the living room carpet.
Since Harry was born, Lily had felt less and less comfortable whenever James went out on a mission. Even though he was rarely called now, on the few occasions that he was, a tight panic would grip her heart every second that he was gone. Maybe it was because they were now a family, with a son to worry about, that James's absence scared her more. What would she and Harry do without James?
Lily was just rounding the block, turning to head home, when her name was called. Her immediate instinct was to reach for her wand. She didn't let go of it, even when she saw that it was Peter, running down the street towards her, looking sweaty and dishevelled.
'Lily, Death Eaters – your house – James – come quick!'
Her blood ran cold at this. It was happening. The attack they'd been dreading. James. She felt the bubble of panic grow inside her gut. But James had been out, he wouldn't have – what if he came back?
'Oh God,' she murmured. She immediately took a step forward to follow Peter, but at the same time, her hands tightened reflexively around the handle of Harry's pram, and she stopped, caught between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, James might be in trouble; on the other, she couldn't take Harry with her if the place was now swarming with Death Eaters.
'Lily, come on,' Peter urged.
She hated that she had to make the decision, but she knew James would have wanted it. Still, her throat clenched around the words. 'I – we can't,' she choked out. 'You have to – g-get Sirius …'
What Peter's reply was to this, Lily barely heard. She lifted Harry out of the pram and attempted to clear her mind and focus – determination, destination, deliberation. Get Harry away from here. Keep him safe. And subconsciously, she thought, Help James!
A moment later, she found herself in Sirius's house, thankfully with Harry still in her arms. He started to cry loudly, but neither of them seemed to have been Splinched, so it was probably the discomfort of Apparition that ailed him. Lily felt too frazzled herself to comfort him properly; sobs were threatening to tear out of her throat.
'Sirius!' she croaked, praying that he was home. 'Sirius!' Her second cry, louder and more distinct, echoed through an empty house.
Don't panic, Lily tried to tell herself. Don't give up hope. James and Sirius had to be okay – she just needed to find them somehow …
And then, feeling foolish for not having done so earlier, she cast her Patronus, sending it sprinting out of the house, bearing a message for Sirius and James:
I'm at Sirius's, come quick!
To her immense relief, they both crashed through the door not too long after. James came straight to her and enveloped her in a great bone-crushing hug that made her gasp for air.
'I told you,' said Sirius, but his voice was more shaky than sure. 'I told you they were all right.'
When James let go of her, Lily found she was trembling. They'd been so very lucky to have escaped. If James hadn't gone … if she hadn't been out walking and met Peter …
'Peter!' she gasped. 'I left him –'
Sirius held up a hand. 'You stay here. I'll find him.'
'Sirius –'
'Peter should have his head screwed on tight enough not to dash into a house full of Death Eaters. Which is more than I can say for you at the moment.' He scowled at James. 'Stay here with Lily.'
James hesitated, then swallowed hard. 'Be careful.'
Sirius nodded once, grimly, and he Disapparated, leaving the three of them alone in the house.
It took a while to calm Harry, who had been crying through the whole exchange. When at last he was quietly settled in James's arms, Lily sighed and collapsed into an armchair, feeling as though she'd had enough excitement for months.
'I don't know if I should be angry that you disappeared and I couldn't find you, or thankful that you're alive because of it,' said James.
'Don't,' Lily told him, shuddering. 'Don't think of all the what-ifs. Please.'
James stared down at Harry. After a moment, he met Lily's gaze again.
'You know what this means, don't you?'
'He found us,' said Lily, feeling stricken. 'He sent Death Eaters to find us.' She knew what James was getting at, understood the significance of it, but it was something she couldn't bear to voice. The words of the prophecy came back to haunt her - and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal …
Every hope they'd had that Voldemort might ignore the prophecy or choose Neville Longbottom instead was dashed now – Voldemort's intentions were perfectly clear.
He was after Harry.