I woke up a few
hours later to a ray of sun shining in the grimy bathroom window and
directly into my eyes. I mentally groaned; I was so exhausted I had
no interest in getting up.
I slowly opened my eyes and looked
around the bathroom, the small amount of day light that made it
through the dirt-covered window didn't do much to improve the looks
of the bathroom, the place was a breeding ground for germs, and I was
lying on the floor. Positively disgusting.
I went to get up but
there was a weight across my waist. I looked down and saw Dean's
arm around me and suddenly became very aware of everything from the
very male sent coming from Dean, to the closeness of both our bodies.
He was still asleep, and for that I was grateful, I felt so at home
in his arms and wanted it to last as long as possible. Then it hit me
like a sack of bricks.
I Kaiden Trent had a thing for Dean
Winchester. I lay there for a moment in absolute horror, I had grown
up with Dean, and he had taken care of me. I eventually accepted my
feelings for him and then a wave of sadness over came me, there was
no way Dean liked me the way I liked him, he probably still thought
of me as the little girl in pig tails that he used to baby-sit.
I
felt Dean move behind me and I knew he was awake, I sat up and looked
at him with a shy smile, he looked up at me and then quickly glanced
away, clearly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat,
"How are
the stitches?" he questioned breaking the silence,
"Not bad,
there is more of a dull pain now, nothing I can't handle."
Dean
nodded his head and stood up; I noticed that he was wearing only an
old t-shirt and a pair of black boxers. He opened the door of the
bathroom and walked into the main room.
"Sam?" I heard him
call, "Sammy?!"
I pulled myself off the tile floor and, with a
great effort, walked into the room.
"Dean, what's the
matter?"
"It's Sammy, he's gone!"
I spotted a post-it
on the bedside table, I picked it up,
"Dean, calm down, look,
it's a note. 'Went to get coffee, be back soon.' See Dean, he's
okay."
He sat down heavily on the bed, his head in his hands; I
could see them shaking just a little.
The poor guy, he felt such a
strong need to protect his baby brother, I could only imagine how
exhausting that would be.
All of a sudden I felt light headed,
I didn't want to be the girl that passed out, I mean seriously, how
embarrassing would that be?
I walked over to the bed he was
sitting on and went to sit beside him but missed the mattress by a
couple inches; I hit the carpet with a heavy thump and smacked my
head against the base of the night stand.
It took a couple seconds
for Dean to jump up off the bed and run to my side,
"Jesus,
Kaiden! Are you okay?"
Yes, that was in fact about as
embarrassing as fainting would have been.
I was very aware of the
fact that he had scooped me into his arms yet again and as soon as he
touched me, my heart skipped a beat.
Horrified that he might be
able to tell what kind of affect he had on me, I quickly squirmed out
of his arms and struggled to stand on my own two feet.
"Yes, I'm
fine. Thanks for the concern. I am fine."
Dean opened his mouth
to say something; but instead turned his head to see Sam come in the
door carrying a tray of coffee, he looked at me and smiled,
"Hey
Kaiden, you're looking better. I got coffee; I didn't know how
you take yours so I brought some cream and sugar."
I beamed up
at him, "Sam how did you know the way to my heart was through
coffee? I take mine black; thanks for the thought."
He passed me
a cup and I took a long drink, letting the hot liquid slide down my
throat. It was pure heaven and I all but moaned.
Dean stood up
from where he was kneeling on the carpet between the two beds and
walked over to Sam to get his own cup of coffee.
The three of us
sat in a comfortable silence before I spoke,
"So where are we
headed and what are we hunting?"
Dean gave me a severe look, "We
are going to Louisiana, so let's pack up and go."
I had no
issue doing just that; I had too many bad memories attached to this
room. I shoved all of my stuff back into my duffle bag and hurried
out to the car, sliding into the backseat. I had thought about taking
the front but then again Sam was a lot taller than I was and it would
be plain mean of me to make him sit in the cramped backseat. The guys
eventually came out to the car and loaded it up with their stuff.
Dean hopped into the driver's seat and Sam took his usual spot
riding shot-gun.
I was happy to be on the road. I would give me
something else to think about other than what had happened the night
before. I couldn't believe it had only been under a day since I'd
lost my father. It seemed like he had been gone for years. I rested
my head against the car window and began to catch up on the sleep I
had been missing out on.
It took us a week to get to
Oakdale Louisiana. And it was beginning to weird me out that Dean
wouldn't even talk about the hunt. He had a dark look on his face
and I couldn't figure what was wrong with him.
"So guys," I
said with a chipper voice, as I leaned up against the back of their
seat, "Who wants to tell Kaiden about this hunt?"
Dean looked
at me through the rear view mirror,
"Sam and I are going after
a poltergeist in an old apartment building." He said in a hard
voice,
"Just Sam and you?" I asked with a tone matching his,
"We'll talk about this when we get to the motel." Dean
said.
So I shut up. For the time being, I knew when to keep quiet
but there was no way in hell I was going to back down from a fight
when one was needed.
I waited until we got to the motel and were
settled in until I brought it up again. I flopped down on the couch
that was set up against one of the walls, pulling off my shoes and
socks and animatedly looked at my watch at back up at the guys,
"Would you look at that. It's time for you two to tell me
what the hell is going on."
Sam could sense a fight coming on
and sat down on one of the beds. Dean gave me a hard look,
"As
I said in the car. Sam and I are going to get the poltergeist in an
old apartment building. You will stay at the motel. Are we clear?"
I
was seriously offended. I mean what the hell? Did he think that I
couldn't do the job?
"Excuse me Dean?" I said, struggling to
keep my voice calm,
"You heard exactly what I said and there is
no way I am putting you in that kind of danger by letting you in on
his hunt. End of story."
By that time I was royally pissed off.
I stood quickly up off the couch so I would be eye level with him; or
as close to it as I could be since he was nine inches taller that
me,
"In case you forgot Dean, I am just as capable on a hunt as
you are. So don't you even try to give me that bullshit."
I
had tried to keep my temper, but failed miserably, I was two inches
from his face and screaming by the end of my sentence.
"If case
you forgot Kaiden," Dean yelled right back mimicking my tone, "the
last hunt you went on, someone died and we had to save your ass!"
I
stumbled back as if he had hit me; I felt my eyes go round. I went to
say something but my mouth just hung open.
Sam, who had been
watching the argument from the sidelines a moment ago, stepped
between me and Dean,
"That's enough." He said in a low
voice.
Dean looked at me with an apology in his eyes but said
nothing. I couldn't stay in that room a second longer; I opened the
door, stepped out and closed it quietly.
I stood staring at the
grey sky for a few moments before I started running. I didn't know
where I was running to but I needed to stop thinking about what Dean
had said.
I used to run all the time in high school, I loved it;
I could go to a place when I ran where nothing existed except my
feet, the pavement and the sound of my steady breathing. In school I
never had many friends; I was the freaky girl with the knife
collection. It wasn't like I didn't want friends; it was they
didn't want to be around me. I have some issues for a while; I
thought I was ugly and fat, so I became anorexic. I eventually got so
sick that I ended up in a hospital. It took a while but I finally
realized that if people didn't want to be around me, that wasn't
a poor reflection on me, it was a poor reflection on them.
I ran
until the pain from my feet finally entered my consciousness and I
had to stop before they started to bleed. It had started raining just
after I had started running and was now pouring down in sheets. I
stood in my soaked jeans and t-shirt looking up at the sky, feeling
the warm tears run down my face.
My legs gave out and I stayed
there, slumped over and lay on the ground in a ball, ignoring the
protesting of my stitches that resulted from curled up position I was
in. I don't know how long I laid there for, just crying with the
rain pouring down on top of me; I didn't feel the cold of the wind
or the clinging of my wet t-shirt against my skin. I felt empty, I
had cried myself out and I didn't even have the energy to sit up.
I
heard the rumble of an old engine and knew it was the Impala. I could
barely hear it pull to a stop beside me over the sound of the rain
that was only getting louder. I listened closely for any other
noises; I heard the sound of shoes walking across the gravel towards
me, I couldn't see who it was since my back was facing the road.
I
heard Dean's voice through the rain,
"Kaiden?"
If it had
been Sam I would have rolled over and said that I was fine. But Dean
was on my shit-list so there was no way in hell I was going to do
anything for him, let him worry. Maybe if he thought I was dead he
would leave me alone.
I heard him say my name again and he put his
hands on my shoulder, that was it
"What do you what from me?"
I said without turning around.
"Kay, I'm sorry. God I'm so
sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Any of it. I just don't think
you're in the best condition for a hunt."
And there was his
other mistake; he wouldn't let me hunt. I was pissed off as hell at
him, but the guy sounded so haggard that I sat up and faced him,
still sitting on the wet gravel.
"You're right. You shouldn't
have. And don't call me Kay. Since the only man that I allowed to
call me that is dead, and as you so sweetly pointed out, it is
completely my fault."
The tears were falling down my face again
and I hated the fact that Dean could see it. His face softened, he
pulled me into his arms for a bone-crushing hug and I didn't fight
him; no matter how mad I was at him there was no denying the fact
that I had a huge thing for him. Frankly it was embarrassing since I
was positive it wasn't something he would return.
"Kaiden, I
wasn't saying that stuff because of you," he said into my hair,
"I said it because of me. Ever since dad died-"
"John's
dead?!" I said appalled, pulling out of the hug and staring at
him.
Dean nodded his head, "he died a couple months ago, I was
in a coma and he made a deal with a demon so I'd live. He's dead
and it's my fault. I wasn't supposed to wake up."
It was my
turn to hug him tightly,
"God Dean. I didn't know. I'm so
sorry."
I looked closely at his face and saw that he was
fighting tears. Dean stood up and began pulling me with him. I was
going to get up but then I thought about what I really wanted,
"Dean
would you walk back to the motel with me?" and quickly finished "I
mean if you don't want to that's totally okay. I mean I don't
expect you to walk in the freezing rain just because I asked you-"
I
stopped talking at the sight of Dean's smile, he said he'd walk
back with me and he signaled Sam, who I had just noticed was sitting
in the car, to go ahead and he began to walk back with me.
About
five minutes into the walk back I stepped on something sharp,
"Ow!"
I called out in pain.
Dean looked down at me with an alarmed
expression, "What? What is it?"
"I stepped on something
sharp."
He looked down and noticed for the first time that I
wasn't wearing any shoes, and without even a word he lifted me up
into his arms. My face was inches from his,
"You've sure been
doing this a lot lately," I said in a whisper, being this close to
Dean made me feel breathless
"Well you keep getting yourself
into situations that require me sweeping you into my arms." Dean's
voice was just as breathless as mine was,
"What would you do if
I told you I think I'm falling for you?"
"Probably something
like this." He let me slide down onto my tip-toes but kept me
pressed against his body.
"Dean?" I could hardly breath,
He
leaned down and gently kissed me and immediately the entire world
slipped away; I couldn't feel the gravel digging into my feet or
the rain pouring down onto my body. All I could feel was Dean's
arms around me and his mouth on mine.
Our mouths eventually parted
and Dean picked me back up into his arms, I smiled to myself as we
walked, well he was the one doing all of the walking, but whatever.
It felt as thought my heart was swelling; I couldn't believe what
had just happened.
My face was resting against his neck and I
murmured in his ear,
"I understand why you don't want me on
that hunt. I'll sit on the sidelines. But only for this one,
Okay?"
He smiled down at me, "Okay." He kissed me again and
I snuggled closer into his body.
I hadn't realized how tired I
was until then; we had been traveling non-stop for the past week and
I had barely gotten any sleep since we had been sleeping in the car
for quite a few of the nights, and that is far from luxury.
It
took us about twenty minutes to get back to the motel and by that
time the wind had mostly died down and it was only spitting slightly.
Dean unlocked the door while still holding me in his arms and swung
it open.
Sam was laying on one of the beds sound asleep;
"I
guess he was more tired then he let on." I whispered.
Dean
smiled and put me down on my feet. It was just then that I realized
how cold I was and started shivering uncontrollably,
"Let's
get you a hot shower and into some dry clothes." He suggested.
I
had no issue with that suggestion; those were the two things I wanted
desperately.
I grabbed my duffle bag, pulled out a new set of
clothes and walked into the bathroom off the main room.
I had an
amazing hot shower that lasted about thirty minutes and only got out
when the hot water ran out. Dried myself off, slid into some clean
clothes and walked back into the main room.
Dean and Sam were
sitting around the table in the middle of the room with papers spread
all over the table,
"What are you guys talking about?" I
asked and walked over to the table with a bounce in my step, I felt
good,
"Just reading about the job." Sam said carefully, I
could tell he still wasn't sure about how happy I was about missing
out on a hunt,
"Oh. Okay. Well that's cool. How long do you
think it will take you to finish this up?"
Dean gave me a smile
that reflected what had happened this afternoon,
"It's all
pretty cut and dry; we know where the bones are. We salt 'em and
burn 'em and then its miller time."
