Chapter Three

Hermione decided that she was being rude and stopped herself from speaking to Malfoy to try to east the tension for her friend. After that, Mandie and Aiden began to get along nicely and by the time the food arrived, their chairs were inches away from each other.

"Reminds you of our first date?"

Hermione looked at Draco, who was finishing off his second drink while hers lay empty beside her plate.

"We were young then," she said, refusing to get sentimental.

"Young enough to be together for seven years."

"Six. Thank you." She picked up the glass that the waiter put in front of her. "The year of the divorce doesn't exactly count."

"Watch the drinks, Homer," Draco said, making a reference to 'The Simpsons.'

Hermione smirked at him. "I'll stick to white wine after this. Don't worry."

"You never did know when to stop." Draco loojed down at his empty glass and switched it for the new one brought with Hermione's martini.

"I'm not the one who bragged about having a high tolerance then ended up with a hangover that lasted a whole day."

"Hey, I couldn't find the spell to fix it," Draco laughed. "And it's not like you helped."

"Well you deserved it," Hermione said with a smile. "You were so drunk you tried to eat some of the paintings on the way back to the common room."

"Well they looked good," he replied defensively. They hadn't spoken like this in years.

Hermione looked away and sighed lightly. "So how drunk do you think we are now?"

"Not very. These are only our third drinks. Then again, you were never one to hold her alcohol."

"Well that explains why we're being civil."

"I think I'm going to need something stronger if we want this to last."

"As long as Mandie and Aiden end up shagging by the end of the night…" Hermione finished her martini in one sip.

"Well that is all that ever matters," Draco added, finishing his own drink. "Wine?"

"Please." He filled up half of her glass with the white wine. "More." Draco smirked and filled the glass up until it was an inch from the top. He picked up his own glass and filled it the same amount. "So why did you bring up our first date Malfoy? It was nothing like this."

"Silence was killing me."

"You neber hated silence before."

"Neber?" I think we're calling you a portkey tonight. Draco told her. He took a long sip and put his glass down. Maybe he was going to need one too. He was starting to get sweaty and itchy, not that that had ever happened while he was drunk. "So how's my house five years later?"

"Moved out the second the papers were signed. How's my baby?"

"Stripped her down and used the parts for art."

"Never knew you'd even touch her."

Draco leaned in and whispered, "anything to piss you off baby."

"Well then I'm glad I tore up all your clothes and turned them into a bed for Shep."

"Ah yes, how is that lovely dog of ours?"

"You would know if you bothered to fight for custody the way you fought to get my car." Hermione knew where this was going and finished her drink before turning back to her pasta.

"Well the less I fought, the sooner it would be over," Draco told her in a cheery tone. He took a bite of his half finished fish. "Mmm, excellent choice darling."

"Watch it dear. You're starting to sweat," Hermione said, smiling lightly into her wine.

Draco had to admit, she was right. In fact, he felt a bit of an itch along his arm.

"So what is in this dish again?" Draco asked casually, trying not to scratch.

"Oh, you know, fish, celery, carrots, parsley, mushrooms, garlic and onion, almonds, anchovies…" Hermione listed absent-mindedly, but Draco stopped listening after mushrooms and his head shot up at almonds. He knew what she was doing.

"You know I'm allergic to almonds and mushrooms," he hissed.

"Oh really?" Hermione asked, over-acting her shock.

Draco rolled his eyes as he scratched his arm. "Now I'm not feeling so guilty about 'accidentally' changing the combination to out joint account."

"I haven't touched that thing in years."

"Hermione," Hermione and Draco looked up at Mandie, "since you guys are getting along, we think we're going to head out a little early."

"Dinner is on me, guys," Aiden said, standing up. "Here's my card." Draco took the credit card out of Aiden's hand with a look of sheer horror on his face. "Get really drunk if it keeps you guys this calm."

With that, Mandie and Aiden left the table. All Hermione could hear was Mandie giggling as she and Aiden made their way to the door. She knew that she definitely wasn't going home tonight.

"So another bottle of wine?" she heard Draco ask her.

"Make it a tequila and add a cot," Hermione replied. Draco gave her an expression, as though asking her what she was talking about. "Mandie's bunking at my house while hers is, well, being bought." She took another swig at her drink. She looked over at Draco. After eleven years since they began going out, six years of marriage, and a year of dating, she had seen him in situations he was uncomfortable in. He would put a glaze over his eyes and smirk at towards the left.

"Well I know someone who will never turn you down," Draco mumbled into his wine.

"How many time do I-" Hermione sighed. "Never mind. Your friend left us with his credit card, so why don't you go buy a whore and I can finally leave."

Hermione began to stand up, but Draco caught her with his all-knowing words. "So I guess I'll see you on the street then, considering that our little friends are shagging up your place."

Hermione looked at her empty glass. Damn. The ferret was right. "Just don't talk to me and they'll probably be done by the time I finish eating."

Draco called the waiter over. "Two of the strongest drinks your bartender can come up with please."

Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. How could this night have turned into a dinner with her ex-husband? And in the same restaurant where they had their last dinner as a married couple, no less.

"Yes, I know, the memories here are just so strong," Draco said, as though reading her mind.

"So you are keeping me here with the promise of alcohol to remind me of the plitifoe excuse we called a marriage?" Hermione asked him, not even looking ahead. The question didn't mean anything to her, but at least there wasn't going to be an awkward silence. And maybe he could give her an excuse to punch him, just one more time.

"Plitifoe? Hm, I don't think I've heard that one," Draco told her. Hermione noticed that unless it was just the two of them, or if they were at a party with some of his old friends, the drunker he was, the more he over-pronounced his words to hide it, just like now.

"Malfoy, just-"

"Now just because you no longer use that name, doesn't mean that you never had it."

"Oh finish your fish." Draco took a big fork-full of his fish in annoyance, forgetting what was in it. "Oh my god. You will just eat anything."

"True," Draco said with his head tilted a bit. "After all, I did eat-"

"Oh grow up. The only reason why you're still on this blind date is to be a bother," Hermione hissed.

"Well at least I'm not here because I'm still in love with my ex-husband,"

"I knew there was a reason why you sle-"

"-Pt with you? Well, I did always notice that you were a bit manly in a way."

Hermione was about to reply, but their drinks came and she drank half of it in one breath. Draco, on the other hand, sipped his slowly, watching his ex-wife's head explode in anger. There was no woman in the world he would rather not be with than her.