I woke up, my face plastered to the leather seat of the Impala and I realized that I was alone in the car. I bolted upright and got out of the car as fast as I could, ignoring the burning sensation on my cheek from where the skin had been stuck to the leather.

I was at an older gas station with only two pumps and a little building that had big windows.

I saw Dean inside the building and immediately headed towards him. He was leaning against the counter and smiling the smile that he only used when he was trying to get me to do something. I could see that he was using it on the ridiculously tall and skinny redhead that was standing behind the counter who was giving him the googley eyes. I walked as fast as I could towards the building before Sam came out of the door and smoothly grabbed my arm as he continued walking away, and dragging me in the process.

"Hey!" I yelled, "What are you doing that for?!"

"Because," Sam said in a low voice, "Dean is trying to get us some information about this hunt. And there's no way that girl is going to be as willing if his girlfriend marches in. Okay? So just take a breather."

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and scowled up at his six foot five self,

"You suck." I said in a very mature fashion

Sam laughed to himself as we walked towards the car, I noticed he was trying to make sure I wouldn't run as fast as I could back to the gas bar and slap that low-cut shirt wearing, red-headed hussy. I mean come on; I'd never do something like that.

Okay. That's a lie. I totally would have if I had thought I could have made it without Sam literally picking me up and dragging me back to the car, kicking and screaming.

I sat in the Impala for what seemed like forever in complete silence, Dean eventually returned to the car with an expression that I couldn't read. He slid into the driver's seat,

"What'd you find out?" I asked

"Nothing that we didn't already know, she tried to be helpful but the only information she had was either from the newspapers that we've read or gossip."

"Yea, I'm sure she wanted to be real helpful." I muttered in a tone heavy with sarcasm

"What's that?"

"Er, nothing."

Dean eased the Impala away from the pumps, pulled out of the gas station and sped along the highway towards Bozeman.

I sat on the seat with my back against the window and my legs, challenged in length, stretched across the dark leather of the seat.

I sat in silence, watching Dean for quite a while. I observed the way his fingers tapped the steering wheel and the way he glanced at Sam and I every once in a while with worry in his eyes. The guy would never be able to find peace and not spend this time worrying about either Sam or myself. I hadn't exactly given Dean any reason to think he didn't need to worry about me up to now, but I promised myself I would make a concerted effort to stay out of trouble and not need any rescuing.

My mind wandered and thoughts of Sam's vision of Dean dying popped into my head and a shiver ran through my body. The thought of losing him was more than I could handle, and the fact that both Sam and I had been having dreams about him dying in different ways was probably the furthest thing from comforting.

I rested my head against the window and allowed myself to relax just a little bit, my body was still weak from my encounter with the rotten sandwich and getting all worked up about Dean and that gas station girl hadn't helped me to find my much needed Zen.

We hadn't been driving for more than forty-five minutes before the car started to splutter and the engine just gave out,

"Uh oh…" I said

Sam started smacking the dashboard in a futile attempt to get the car to start again,

"Don't hit her!" Dean practically screamed

"Dean," I said, following him and getting out of the car, "the only 'her' around here, is me."

Dean popped the lid to the Impala and shot me a dirty look.

Sam chuckled and called out the window,

"You'd be better not to do that. This car might as well be his second girlfriend."

I had pulled a bottle of water out of the backseat and was taking a sip while Sam was talking. I was laughing so hard at his comment that I choked on my water and end up spilling the contents left in the bottle all over myself. After I got over the fact that I was covered in water I turned to Dean with an expression of fake worry,

"Dean, you don't do the things you do with me, with your car, do you? Since Sam did say it was like your other girlfriend."

Dean shot me a dirty look and then continued fiddling around under the hood of the car,

"Everyone's a freaking comedian around here, aren't they?"

I rubbed the back of his neck and watched him check for anything wrong with the Impala,

"See anything wrong?" I questioned

He shook his head,

"There's nothing wrong here, the engine is fine, same with the fan belt and everything else."

"Hey Dean," Sam called from inside the car "I think I found the problem."

We both hopped back into the car,

"What?" Dean demanded,

Sam pointed to the fuel gage that clearly read empty,

"Oh," I chuckled, "This is too good." I flopped backwards against the seat

Sam was laughing too,

"You forgot to put gas in the car?"

Dean looked murderous,

"I was supposed to talk to the hot chick and you were supposed to fill up the car!"

It was my turn to be mad,

"Hey! Girlfriend here, you're not supposed to notice other girls. God."

"I didn't mean that Kay, she's nowhere as hot as you."

"Oh gee, thanks." The fact that he hadn't said anything about her not being good looking wasn't lost on me.

Sam was still defensive from Dean's comment,

"It was not my responsibility. You can't blame me because you forgot to put gas in the car."

Dean shot his brother a look that I was sure would melt the skin off of Sam's face, it was pretty damn intense. I was worried that if I let them continue to stare each other down any longer that I would have to break up a fist fight, so I spoke up,

"Okay, guys. This is no one's fault. Let's just figure out what we're going to do."

"There's a container of gas in the trunk." Dean said,

Sam shook his head,

"No, we used that a couple weeks ago, remember."

I remembered all too clearly the last time the guys had forgotten to put gas in the car and we ended up sitting at the side of the road for hours before either of them remembered the emergency gas in the trunk,

"Well if this isn't ridiculous then I don't know what is."

Dean and Sam played rock paper scissors to decide who would have to walk the two miles to the next town to fill up the container with gas. Dean lost and began walking down the highway, grumbling underneath his breath about it all being Sam's fault.

I watched Dean walk away with a smile on my face until a horrible thought popped into my head,

"Sam! We cant' let Dean walk all the way there by himself!"

Sam didn't look up from the newspaper he had unfolded and was closely studying,

"Why not?"

"Because we keep seeing him die!" I said, my voice raising multiple octaves as I scrambled out of the car and ran to where Dean was walking away from the car about twenty yards away,

"Dean!" Sam called from where he was running right behind me

Dean turn around looking like he was expecting another bickering match with Sam. But his expression changed quickly once he saw the worry that was written all over my face,

"What? What is it?"

I paused, I had no good reason as to why Dean should stay. I mean the truth was a good reason but Sam and I had decided not to say anything about it. Sam however thought faster on his feet than I did,

"I'll walk to the gas station. Kaiden was already complaining about how you two never get to be alone. This way I don't have to hear her complain and you get to spend some time together. Okay?"

Dean shrugged and handed Sam the empty gas container,

"Okay."

Dean started walking back to the car. I shoot Sam an apologetic smile and then followed suit.

I sat in the car only half listening to what Dean was saying as I stared out the car window waiting for something to jump out of the trees we were parked beside and maul the car.

I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep until I woke up with a cry and saw Dean staring at me with concern in his eyes,

"Another dream?" he asked

I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure if my mouth would be able to form words at that moment. Instead I nodded my head. It had been quite close to the one I had a couple times where I was in a morgue where Dean and Sam where dead and Dean had told me that it was my fault. Except this time it was Dean, Sam, George and Isabelle lying dead in the morgue while Fay was standing beside me sobbing, telling me, just like Dean had, that their deaths were my fault.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he said in a gentle voice as he pulled me towards him

I breathed in the familiar sent of his clothes and closed my eyes for a moment before saying with tears in my eyes,

"I can't be responsible for you dying."

Well that shocked the hell out of him, I think he was expecting something along the lines of 'no, I'm fine' or 'I'll talk to you about it later'

I reached for the door handle and quickly pulled myself out of the car, I refused to let Dean see my cry, again. I leaned against the Impala with my coat putting tightly around me and my arms folded against my chest. The cold November air was killing me, I loved every moment of the summer but late fall and winter were the death of me. And the fact that we were in the far northern areas of the country didn't help.

Dean followed my actions and got out of the car and walking around to where I was standing,

"Kaiden-" he began, but was cut off by the ringing of his cell phone, he flipped it open, "Hello? (pause) Where are you? (pause) How long do you think it'll be? (Pause) Okay, okay, I'll tell Kaiden and we'll see you when you get back. (Pause) Bye"

He came and stood beside me

"Sam's tied up. The town that he walked didn't end up having a gas station. Which I didn't think was possible. Anyways he's getting a lift to the next town over where they do have a station."

I nodded my head and mumbled,

"Okay."

I was still kind of shaken from my dream and I was currently battling with my tears, trying to stop them from rolling down my cheeks. I had been doing my best to keep Dean calm about these dreams, but if I cried every time I had one there was no way he'd be able to relax,

"Are you okay?" he asked as my breath hitched in my throat

"Yea, I'm fine." I said as I started walking away, "I'm just going to go for a walk, okay? I'll be back."

It took a second or two for the fact that I was going to sink into his head,

"You can't just walk off on your own! Besides it'll be dark in a bit."

I shrugged my shoulders, keeping up my pace and he started jogging after me, grabbing my arms once he caught up with me,

"There is something wrong. Tell me!"

I wrenched my arms out of his grasp,

"I want you to leave it alone Dean."

"No! I won't just leave it alone! You need to tell me what the fuck is going on, dammit!"

I was so frustrated with him that all I wanted to do was scream. I didn't end up screaming like I wanted to, but I did let my frustration get the better of me,

"Jesus Dean! I keep seeing you die, all the time. During the day, while I sleep, I can't get a moments rest and-" my voice got very quiet, "And I don't know if I can do this anymore. Something is clearly going on and if I'm the one always seeing you die then it just makes sense that I'm tied to it. I can't have the guilt of your death on me Dean. I can't lose you."

My words hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity where Dean just stood there staring at me and a wind that foreshadowed the winter fast approaching blew my hair, everything was silent.

Well that is until Dean spoke,

"You don't need to do that to yourself." He said simply

"Do what to myself? It's not like I've been asking for these visions."

He shook his head, I obviously hadn't gotten his meaning,

"No, I mean, you don't need to try to protect me. People get hurt, especially in our line of work. It's inevitable."

I stared at him, waiting for him to say something else,

"Well, I hope that wasn't meant to be comforting. 'Don't worry about me Kaiden, I'll die, but it's cool. You'll get over it.' Yea that makes me feel a whole lot better. Thanks."

He rolled his eyes,

"You know that's not what I meant. I mean we all do our best to not get hurt, but when you're, sometimes literally, throwing yourself into harm's way. A couple bumps and bruises are expected."

"I'm not talking about bumps and bruises Dean! I'm talking about you being dead and everyone blaming me. I'm talking about having to burry your body and try to tell myself that I'll be okay 'cause I can get over how I feel about you. But I can't. Okay?"

The tears I had thought had gone away reappeared and I was blinking them back furiously, refusing to let them fall.

Dean grabbed my arm once again, but this time much more gently, he pulled me into his arms and held me close,

"I'm not going to die. I promise you. What do you want me to do?"

"Stop hunting sounds like a good option."

I knew it was far fetched, but a girl can hope,

"Not an option." He said

Okay, maybe it was a little further than far fetched. I pulled back so I could look up at his face,

"Why not? We could all quit and you and I could married and Sam could find a girl and we could live normal lives."

He shook his head,

"We'd always know there was something out there. And I couldn't live with the guilt knowing that there are people dying because I was tired and didn't feel like hunting anymore."

"Yea, I know. But some day you won't be able to do this anymore. What will you do then?"

He shrugged,
"Whatever I'll be doing it'll be with you. And looking out for Sammy, that's a given. Come on let's go back to the car, you're freezing"

I nodded my head and allowed him to lead me back to the Impala. I slid into the front seat of the car and watched as he turned the key in the ignition and blasted the heat. I let him pull me close, I put my legs across his thighs and rested my head on my shoulder,

"Dear lord I hate the winter."

He laughed,
"It's not even winter yet, it's still fall."

"You're birthday's coming up." I said, trying to get my mind off the fact that soon snow would be falling and I would be harassing the guys into finding a hunt down south,

"Sure is. Twenty eight years old. How does it feel to be dating someone four years older than you?

I snorted,

"I've dated guys with a bigger age difference, when I was fifteen I dated this guy that was twenty-one. Well it didn't end very well and-" I realized in horror what I was saying and immediately stopped talking,

"Oh no, don't stop telling this story. I'm enthralled."

I rolled my eyes,
"Yea I'm sure you don't have a million and a half relationship stories."

"Actually I don't. My relationships weren't really relationships."

"What were they? Let's-have-sex-ships?"

He nodded his head,

"Pretty much."

I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I felt about that so I decided to close my eyes and get some rest,

"Wake me if I look like I'm having a nightmare, okay?" I mumbled into his jacket,

"Okay." He said as he soothingly ran his hand through my hair while rubbing my back with the other.

I drifted in and out of a light, peaceful sleep and included me listening to Dean's soft humming to himself. Sam eventually returned and I heard him pouring the gas into the tank and then sliding into the backseat.

Dean, thinking I was sound asleep told Sam all about what I had said earlier during our argument,

"Well that sounds familiar." Sam said with a chuckle,

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dean demanded

"Well, she sounds exactly like you. You're always trying to protect the people around you and beat yourself up when they get hurt, even though there was nothing you could have done. Do you remember when Kaiden was in a coma? You didn't even leave your side. It was almost like you were punishing yourself, you barely ate."

I was still leaning on Dean so I felt him shrug,

"What do you want from me? to just not care?"

"No. I want both of you to realize that you are not superheroes and there are some things you just can't do."

"It was my fault she got shot. She shouldn't have had to go through that."

Sam groaned, clearly frustrated with the fact that he was getting nowhere with his attempts to make Dean realize that he can't take responsibility for everything,

"Dean, there was nothing you could have done. There was no way you could have anticipated the Djinn getting the gun and shooting you. And even if you could have you were still bleeding with a bullet in your shoulder, how could you have protected her?"

Dean gently lifted my legs from where they were still draped over his own and put them down on the floor of the car.

He turned the key in the ignition and I felt the car lurch forward as we started moving once again down the stretch of highway. I pretended that the movement of the Impala had been what woke me and I sat up, feigning sleepiness,

"Hey Sam. Have a nice walk?" I asked as I stretched out my muscles that were the kind of stiff that could only result from sleeping in the car frequently.

He laughed,

"Oh yea, I was enjoying it so much I took the scenic route."

It didn't take us too long to get to Bozeman after we got some gas into the car and we were on our way. We pulled into the parking lot of a small country motel that had a pair of deer horns over the door to the reception desk,

"Wow." I said looking up at the horns, "It's, uh, eclectic."

The man standing behind the front desk looked exhausted beyond all means of the word and he had a bag over his shoulder, he looked like he was about to leave. He spotted us and put his bag down,

"If you guys want a room I should tell you that there's no maid or room service right now."

Dean nodded his head and tossed one of his many fake credit cards down on the counter,

"We'll take a room with two queens, thanks."

I leaned against the desk and studied the man for a moment,

"Where are you going?" I inquired, "If you don't mind me asking."

He rubbed a calloused hand over his haggard face,
"No, I don't mind. I'm going to see my daughter, she's in the hospital."

"Oh, lord I'm so sorry. What happened?"

"She's in a coma. It was some kind of bear attack is what they are saying."

Dean pulled out his Federal Wildlife I.D, which he must have put in his pocket when we were getting out of the car, and flashed it at the man,

"Federal Wildlife sir, we're here about those bear attacks. Do you think we could set up a time a little later on where we could ask you a couple questions?"

He man nodded,
"I'll be back later tonight. I'll do anything that'll stop this from happening to someone else. They say she'll die you know, if they can't get her heart rate down." He finished checking us in, handed us our keys and walked out the door, still mumbling to himself, "It just don't make any sense."

"Poor guy." I said as we walked into our motel room, carrying our bags, "I don't know if I could handle it if someone I loved was hurt and there was nothing I could do about it." I gave Dean a pointed look, sat on the edge of the bed I had claimed as the one I would be sleeping in and pulled off my shoes.

Sam, who was stretched out on the bed spoke,

"We should get an early start. We have a lot of foot work to do."

I sighed at the thought of all the people we had to track down and question,

"No kidding. Since none of the victims are conscious we have to track down whoever was with them and talk to their family members."

"Well this is going to be fun." Dean remarked as he sat down on the bed beside me and began massaging my overly tense shoulders. Supernatural things just made my stress level skyrocket.

We passed the rest of the evening by ordering pizza and sitting around talking about the hunt and the different possibilities of what could be attacking all these people,

"The elevated heart rate is what I'm really not getting." I said through a mouthful of cheese pizza,

Sam shrugged,

"Whatever got then could have done some sort of ritual."

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I've never heard of a ritual that is used to stress people out." I said with a slight laugh.

I probably shouldn't have laughed at Sam, he got defensive and stopped giving his input,

"Sam." Dean said, "Stop acting like such a woman just because she laughed at you. I laugh at you plenty."

I sensed an argument coming so I cut in,

"I think we've all had a long day and since none no of us really got any sleep last night thanks to me, I vote we try to get some shut eye. Okay?"

I slid under the covers and let myself muse about a life where we didn't hunt demons and Dean wanted to be with me forever. Before I knew it my body was completely relaxed into the mattress and I was sound asleep.