"No." I said with a set jaw and firm voice

The doctor who was sitting on a stool beside me looked tired,

"We really need to suture the wounds in your shoulder and it will go a lot faster if we use an anesthetic. Then you can go back to Mr. Winchester."

I shook my head again,

"Listen Doc. I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. I don't want your drugs. Got it?" I said fixing him with my best intimidating stare. I would have been afraid of me if I was him; I was pretty scary looking at that moment. There was dried blood and dirt all over my face, and pine needles and forest crap. The doctors wouldn't let me get the crud off of myself before they patched my shoulder, at a cut on my forehead that I hadn't noticed, up.

Not having any painkillers for something like a couple stitches wasn't a big deal compared to getting shot. And plus there's no way that it would hurt any more than when I had Dean stitch a gash in my stomach shut with a needle and thread in a dirty motel bathroom.

The doctor's pager began to beep and he stuck his head into the hallway, coming back in with a much younger man beside him,

"This is my intern, Dr. Gilmore. He's fully qualified and he'll be doing your sutures today. I've informed him of your medical preferences."

With that he left the new guy and me alone

The intern was maybe thirty with sandy blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, he was a pretty boy and he knew it. That had never been my type. So when he began flirting with me, I wasn't interested at all,

"So, do you hike a lot?" he asked with a smile, he had white, straight teeth. But it wasn't the same smile that Dean gave me. Dean's was full of warmth and love. But I could tell this guy just wanted in my pants,

"No. I hate nature."

He laughed, but I kept a straight face, I wasn't joking. When he realized that he was the only one laughing, or smiling for that matter, he coughed and tried to change the subject,

"Those two guys you came in with. How do you know them?"
I shrugged,

"I met them when I was six."

That seemed to make him perk up considerably. I guess he figured that if I had known them since I was a wee little girl then I wouldn't be harboring any feelings for them. He was right. The feelings I had for Dean weren't harbored at all, they were way, way out to sea.

I lay down on the table and he began stitching up the wounds to my shoulder. I was hoping he would stop talking so I could concentrate on not concentrating on the pain. But he instead started talking even more,

"That's some Grisly attack. You're lucky you only need a couple of stitches. You could have ended up dead."

I had my jaw clenched against the agony of the needle going into my skin and then the thread pulling it tight. I think part of the reason it was less painful when Dean stitched me up in the motel bathroom (I'm not saying it didn't hurt like hell) was because when Dean had done it, my body was rushing with adrenaline, it was still all out of whack from my psycho dream that it hadn't had a chance to calm down. This time it had been almost three hours since that stupid damn beast in the cave took us all by surprise and tried to jump Dean, I had zero adrenaline left in my body and I was feeling every pull of the thread,

"-so," he said, continuing what I was sure was a long line of speech, "I was wondering if maybe you'd give me your number. So I could call you sometime."

I groaned against the pain and he chose to take it as a "Yes I would love to give you my phone number. Please call me any time you want so we can go on one date, shack up. And then I'll spend the rest of my life waiting on you hand and foot and having your babies." And his smile widened even further,

"If you like Italian food I know this great place and I-"

"Look." I said, cutting him off, "I'm not interested, so if you could just finish with the stitches and then I'll be on my way, that'd be great."

His massive smile had turned into a scowl of a four year old that just had been told he couldn't have any cookies. I'll give you one guess as to who was the metaphorical cookie.

He hurriedly finished the sutures, taped some gauze over my shoulder and I was on my way. Not that I was going very far, I walked about thirty feet to the elevator and then down a hall until I was in Sam's room.

Dean was sitting in a hard plastic chair beside Sam's bed. Sam was not doing anything, he was unconscious, and had been since the attack,

"Has the doctor been in here?" I asked as I took his hand into my own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Dean didn't look away from where Sam was laying on the bed and nodded his head,

"He said we need to find a way to get his heart rate under control."

Sam, just like all the other victims of the creature we had yet to find the name of, had a heart rate that was out of control and causing major problems for his health. The doctors knew he couldn't last long like this

"This is all my fault." He mumbled to himself

I grabbed his shoulders and forced him to look at me,

"Dean. Listen to me. This is in no way your fault. Get it? There was nothing you could have done. You were unconscious. So don't do this to yourself."

His eyes had a hallow quality to them that made me nervous. He was really tearing himself inside for this, he could never just let it go and realize there was nothing he could have done,

"Dad told me I had to save him."

"And you will. We will. Together. Okay? If you really meant what you said about seeing me in your future them you have to let me help you."

He pulled me into his lap and held me closely, resting his head in the hollow between my neck and shoulder. I could feel his hot breath against my skin and I could tell that he was trying to keep his emotions in check. Dean was a control freak and when he couldn't direct how things went, he didn't know how to handle it, especially when it meant he couldn't protect the people he loved.

"Dean." I said as I stroked his hair gently, "Sam'll be okay. I promise. Now you should probably eat something. Do you want to come to the cafeteria with me?"

He shook his head,
"I'm going to stay here with Sammy. I'm not hungry; you go get yourself something to eat."

I kissed him softly before getting off his lap and headed out of the room. I looked back as I left and saw he had the same blank stare that he had on before.

I was on my way to the cafeteria before I got an idea and pulled my cell phone out of my pocket. I punched in Fay's number and listened to the ring until the phone on the other end picked up,

"Hello?" it was Fay's voice.
"Hi Fay. It's me, Kaiden."

"Oh my god, Kaiden, how are you?" it had been a little while since I had talked to her

I rubbed my forehead,
"I'm pretty good. Okay, that's a lie. I'm awful."

"Kay, what's wrong?"

I told her everything. It was nice to be able to talk about the vision of Dean flat-lining with someone other than Sam, who always seemed to be so level headed about it. I needed to someone to have something else to say other than 'this will just blow over' or 'it'll be okay'

After I finished talking, Fay was silent for many moments before speaking,

"God Kaiden, are you okay?"
"Yea, I'm fine. The doctor stitched me up and I'm good."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

I sighed,

"Yea I know. Honestly? I'm not doing so hot. If we had just warned Dean about the danger we knew he was in, then maybe Sam would be okay. Dean would have been more on his guard and none of this would have happened."

Up until then I had carefully been keeping my emotions in check and not letting any of my worries or fears enter my consciousness, but when I talked about it to Fay it was too easy to hate myself for what happened,

"Kaiden you can't blame yourself for this. You said yourself how awful it gets when Dean puts all the blame on himself and shuts you out. Don't do the same, you and Sam thought you were doing what was best for Dean and no one can blame you for that."

"Yea you're right," I said with another sigh, "Fay, if something happens to Sam, Dean will never recover."
It was her turn to let out a breath,

"Yea, I know. We'll just have to find a solution. And fast. Is there anything we can do?"

"There is actually. Do you think I could talk to George?"

We said our goodbyes and she passed off the phone to her husband,

"Hey Kaiden." His warm voice said

"Hi George, now I know you don't know me all that well, but I'm about to ask a favor of you and I'm hoping you'll say yes." I crossed my fingers behind my back in hope that this would go well,

"I might not have known you for very long myself, but you're Fay's best friend and there's nothing we wouldn't do for you, Dean or Sam."
I smiled, I had known from the first time I had met George that he was sweet and caring, perfect for Fay and their baby girl, Isabelle,

"Would it be awful of me to ask you to come here and help out with this hunt? I heard you and Sam talking about researching and stuff, you seem to know a lot and we don't have our 'geek boy' as Dean calls him."

George laughed softly,

"Absolutely, I'll leave A.S.A.P and I'll be there early tomorrow morning."

I gave him the details of where we were staying and what hospital room we could be found in if we weren't at the motel. And I had a feeling that until Sam was conscious and out of the hospital, we wouldn't be spending a lot of time anywhere but the hospital.

"Thanks George, you have no idea how much this means to me. Give my love to Fay and Isabelle."

We said our goodbyes and I clicked my phone shut, sliding it back into my pocket.

I made the rest of the way to the cafeteria in only a couple of seconds and stood in line, looking a the food that was not up to gourmet standards, but Dean and I were used to eating gross food so this was nothing we couldn't handle.

I grabbed two chocolate puddings, two chicken salad sandwiches and filled up two coffee cups before paying and heading back to Sam's room.

Dean was sitting in the exact same position as he had been when I left the room, still sitting in the chair, still with the glazed expression on his face. I sat down beside him in the chair next to him, I was starting to get seriously worried about him and it didn't help when I passed him the sandwich and pudding and all he said was,

"No thanks, I'm not hungry." He did, however, take the coffee. I assume it was going to be used in attempt to not sleep for a second until Sam was conscious and healthy, "Doctor came back." He said in the same quiet voice he had used to turn down the food,

"And?" I asked

"He said the same as before. Nothing's changed. We need to get him to calm down before his heart fails."

I stood up from the hard plastic chair,

"God! This is all my fault! Sam and I should have told you about the vision, this wouldn't have…"

My words trailed off as I realized what I had done, I had just let the massive, vicious metaphorical cat out the bag.

Shit! I thought

"Should have told me about what vision?" Dean asked, his voice hard, his eyes cold and empty

"Oh, nothing! You know me, just saying random stupid things. I should really get that checked out. Maybe I have a concussion or something. I'm going to go talk to a doctor. Since we're in a hospital and everything it'd be a good place to get it checked out so-"

"Kaiden." Dean said sharply, "tell me. What vision?"

I shifted uncomfortably where I was standing. I really, really, really did not want to be telling him this,

"Sam had a vision of you flat-lining in some hospital." I said quickly

"What?"'

"Sam. He had this dream where you died and then we decided that it would be best not to say anything to you. It was just after that whole thing with Jason and we really didn't think we needed any more drama in our lives. So we thought that by not telling you it would be better and we could watch out for you. That's why we didn't want you walking to get gas when the car ran out when we were on the road." I said it all quickly, hoping to get it over with fast, like pulling off a band-aide

"You lied to me."
"Well, yea, but I we were doing it to protect you."

"But you still lied to me. And now Sammy might die."

"Dean we're not going to let Sam die. We'll find-"

He cut me off,

"I think you should leave."

I stood there staring at him incredulously. He spoke again,
"Leave. Go back to the motel room. Leave town. I don't care, just get out of here." His voice was cold and he fixed me with a stare so full of hatred and anger that I stepped back,

"Dean I-"

"Get out."

I grabbed my leather jacket from where it was hanging over the back of the chair I had been sitting on, and walked out of the room, leaving Dean behind.