Chapter 2: Welcome to Indian Rock
It's been an hour since the Simpson family was on the road, and some of them are losing it. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Bart repeated a hundred times. "NO!!!!!" shouted Homer, Marge, and Lisa. "I was just asking. I can't help being so impatient. Lisa how long from now will we get to this "rock place"?" "Another hour," Lisa stated. "But it's just been an hour already," Bart complained. "Come to think of it, we should have been there by now," Lisa replied. "Homer, I think we've been driving in circles," Marge said. "Don't be silly Marge, as man of the house, he never gets lost," Homer replies. "Dad we passed that oak tree with the face three times," Lisa claimed. Bart added, "Don't forget the bush that looks like Patty LaBelle". Marge said to Homer, "Homer, why don't admit that we're lost? We could just ask for directions". "The man of the house doesn't need directions! He can do anything," Homer said with pride.
Bart mutters to Lisa, "You call passing out when trying to reach down to the remote is he can do anything?" "Why you little…" Homer said. Homer reached over to Bart, and start strangling him. "Homer, the wheel!" Marge yelled. Homer gasped "Ah!" Homer starts turning the steering wheel, which caused the car to go through some woods. "LOOK OUT!" yelled Marge, Lisa, and Bart. Homer kept dodging trees as they drove into the woods. As he was, the car was coming up to a cliff. "CLIFF!!!" shouted the whole Simpson family.
"Stop the car Homer!" Bart shouted. Homer replied to Bart, "I can't! The dumb dog's chew toy is under the stop the car thingy!" The toy would squeak as Homer tried to hit the brakes. As the car was 10 ft. away from the rim, Homer said to Marge "Goodbye Marge, we'll just have to do our vacation in heaven. I heard it's more romantic up there." Marge replied, "Oh, just kiss me you big lug!" Marge and Homer then kissed their last kiss. As the car rode over the cliff the whole family screamed and the cat and dog hid under the backseat "AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Then a second later, the car landed with a huge thud.
"Wha?" Homer said very confused. Everyone in the car turned their heads around, and saw that the cliff was only 3 ft. fall. They saw a ranger next to the small cliff with some people taking pictures of it, "See America's smallest natural cliff. Only a 3 ft. fall, also known as the entrance of Indian Rock". The family saw a sign that says, "Welcome to Indian Rock" "Homie, we made it!" Marge said relieved. Homer said in pride "Yep. And also may I remind you that this time, we made it without a problem". "Uh oh. Santa's Little Helper peed on the back seat," said Lisa. "Doh!"
As the family got out of the car, they saw the stunning wilderness landscape, and admired it. It even seemed Homer admired the beauty of Mother Nature too. He said admirably "Wow, the International House of Pancakes." He was staring at an IHOP somewhere in the landscape.
The Simpsons walked toward a reservation booth. The person in the booth was a Native American. "Welcome Simpson Family". The whole family gasped. "How did you know us?" asked Lisa. "I saw you on the headline on the Springfield Shopper". The headline on the newspaper said "Oafish Man Tried to Fire at Endangered Bird". There was a photo of Homer getting arrested with the bird on his head pecking at him, with his family in the background looking embarrassed, except Bart who was smiling. "It looked like a chicken," Homer said pathetically. "Did you make a reservation at Indian Rock?" he asked. Homer replied "Ya." The Native American looked at his computer at the booth searching for Simpson, "Okay. Staying for two weeks, at campsite 1A, at Drunken Weasel Campgrounds" The whole family looked at Homer. "I was the best I could afford," Homer said sheepishly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I should introduce myself," said the Native American, "My name is One Who Runs Around Trees Twenty Times, Hops on Rabbits and Squirrels, Climbs Up Mountain Full of Mountain Lions and Grizzly Bears, Howls and Bites With Coyotes, Digs Tunnels to Find the Lost Moleman Lair, and Leaps Over Canyon Without Falling," said the Native American, "But you can call me George". "Hi George!" said the Simpson family. "Here a map of the campsites and a golf car to drive around the campsite," said George, "And keep your pets leased at all times. There's only one trail they're allowed to be on. Oh, and any of you don't think about "going" in the fire pit!". "Aww!" moaned Homer and Bart.
After George giving the Simpson Family the stuff, a bald eagle mysteriously swooped down at George's shoulder. The family awed in amazement, Bart asked "Is that your pet eagle?" "Yes it is," George replied, "Thank you for bringing my dry cleaning Pepsi. Here's your reward". George reached a live weasel from his pocket. He tossed it towards the eagle and it swallowed it whole. The family stared at George strangely. "What?" he asked.
The family loaded their luggage and the pets on to the golf car and drove to their campsite. "Homer we've been driving for 15 minutes now, and don't tell us we're not lost because we are," Marge said. "Oh, Marge. You just have to learn that I'm the genius, and you're the simple-minded one." Lisa suddenly spoke up "Dad, Dad, you're driving on somebody's campsite!"
"Ah!"
"Here we go again," muttered Bart.
As soon as the family on the campsite saw the car, they dashed out of the car's way, letting it run over everything, completely destroying the campsite. Homer was having a hard a time steering, seeing that the car was going REALLY fast and was trying dodging objects on peoples' campsites (tents, grills, etc.)"Homer! Get back on the road!" Marge said yelling at Homer. "I can't!" Homer frighteningly replied, "But don't worry, I have a plan!"
Homer hesitated for a couple of seconds, until the family found themselves in the woods again. "SAVE ME JEBUS!" screamed Homer. Then out of the blue, the car hit a tree. Everyone's air bags blew up, except Homer's causing him to hit the dash board. (Note: All of you would be dead, right? Well, surprisingly you're wrong. As you see in the cartoon world, they don't believe in "The Law of Physics." Go figure. So Homer didn't actuality go through the dashboard window. Instead he hit his head on the wheel only causing a bump. My mistake.) Finally after a couple of seconds, Homer's air bags blew up hard, practically smothering Homer. "D'OH!"
"Homer, are you all right!" Marge asked worriedly. Homer finally woke up and said, "Fine? I'm not fine. I'm great! Hey Marge, when did you have blue spots all over your body?" Suddenly Bart slapped his dad's face, "Wake up Homer!" Astonishingly Homer regained consciousness. Then raised his arms and yelled "WHY YOU LITTLE!" and starts strangling Bart, "I'll teach you to help me regain consciousness!"