Yes, we certainly will find out what happens to Ingo...dum dum dum...

Lol...Light Arrows will do the job, hopefully.

Hahahaha, of course you'll be mentioned! =P She suffocated a grasshopper in a bottle? Poor grasshopper. Cuccos? Heh, heh. Mentioned in this chappie, actually.

Oh, thanx, I'll try to edit when I can.

(play Epona's Song and watches as disclaimer cracks)

"Well, at least Kakariko hasn't changed much in several years."

Navi sighed happily, actually able to recognize the houses.

"Hey, you, what are you doing here???"

A guard hurried up to them and held his spear threateningly.

"Show me your passport card of Kakariko!"

Link and Navi were shocked.

"We don't have one," Navi stammered.

The guard's expression hardened.

"Then you'll have to see the chief. No one gets access to Kakariko unless you have a passport."

He shouted out, "Guards!" and dozens of silver-clad men came rushing in, armed to the teeth with swords and spears.

"This wasn't what Kakariko was like seven years ago!" Navi said, stunned.

"Well, a lot changed in seven years."

Three or four guards blindfolded Link, hesitated when they saw Navi, and decided to ignore her.

"Hey, lemme go! What are you doing??" Link shouted.

The guards shoved Link into a small house, labeled, "Kakariko Jail Cells".

Navi gulped as she tried to follow as inconspiciously as possible.

Link was forced onto a chair and checked roughly for weapons.

"He has such a nice sword," one of the guards commented.

"I thought I saw that in a book somewhere. I think it was a book about legends."

The guards all of a sudden started whispering to each other in fright, gasping.

"That's the Master Sword! Only a person with a pure heart can hold that!"

Link's blindfold was quickly taken off, with guards having begging looks on their faces.

"We apologize," they said, bowing. "We had no idea that you were the hero destined to dispel the evil."

"Why did you blindfold him and threaten him??" Navi glared, not forgiving the guards.

"It's our orders. Ganondorf's spies are everywhere, and if he gets any information...then that's it for the town. We apologize again for injuring your friend."

Navi looked at Link, who was unhurt, and shrugged.

"Well, what's the deal with this...passport thing?"

"Passports are a sign of...citizenship. Anyone without a passport is questioned. If they don't answer correctly, they are thrown into jail until the chief decides what to do with them. Usually they are let go. Please, do meet our chief. He will give you a passport without question. Just show him the sacred sword."

Navi nodded. "Well, erm, tha-"

"Really, it isn't a problem."

"Yeah, but than-"

"It was a pleasure speaking to you. Exit through the door here and turn right immediately. A guard will meet you there. Show him the sword and request to speak to the chief. Goodbye."

Link and Navi were shoved out of the room with a wave.

"Not very nice, are they?" Link grumbled, brushing his tunic.

"We heard that!" a guard poked his face out of the window and threw a tomato at Link, which smushed on his head.

"Hey!" Link shouted, turning back.

"C'mon, let's just go, Link." Navi said, holding back a grin.

Link wiped off the sauce grimly and watched as it splattered over the grass.

"Do you understand how long it'll take for this-" Link motioned to the dried tomato sauce on his head, "-to wash out?"

"Yes," Navi replied, sniggering. "Right here, Link. This is supposed to be it..."

"Halt!"

A guard raced up to them and automatically asked, "where is your passport?"

Link showed the guard the Master Sword and watched as the guard dropped his spear.

"By Din...please, come in..the chief will speak to you shortly."

The guard led them inside and motioned for them to sit down. He exited with a respectful bow.

"This baby rocks," Link said enthusiastically, stroking the sword.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

Link started to cower. "A giant's coming!!"

"Who are you??" a voice asked roughly.

Link peeked through his hands and saw a tiny little boy pointing to him and demanding his name.

Then he sighed in relief.

"Phew, it's only a little boy. Hi, can we speak to the um...chief?"

"I am the chief! And you better tell me your name right now or I'll take out my dagger!"

Link and Navi started to burst out in a fit of giggles.

"The boy thinks he's the chief!!" Navi gasped, trying to catch her breath.

"And he's threatening us with a teeny tiny dagger!!!" Link joked, rolling over the floor in his amusement.

The "chief" took out a razor-sharp dagger and pointed it at Link.

"That's right. I'm threatening you with a not so teeny tiny dagger."

Link stopped laughing and pointed to his sword.

The chief's gaze fell on the Master Sword. He slowly withdrew the dagger, but his unimpressed face remained.

Link expected the chief to say, "Sorry," or, "By the three goddesses," but the chief merely frowned.

"A pipsqueak is the beam of light in the legends? Bah."

Link didn't feel so insulted because the chief looked a lot bigger now.

He picked up the note that the guard had placed on the table and his brow furrowed after he finished reading it.

"My boys told me that you need a passport. Oh, and I'm Borovan."

"I'm the Hero of Time, and this is my fairy." Link said proudly.

"More like the Hero of Tomatoes. You got some red stuff that looks like it on your hair." Borovan said distastefully, not even trying to keep his voice down.

"Calm down, Link." Navi whispered as Link's face turned tomato red as to match his hair.

"Now...a passport, eh? I'll have to give you a rather difficult set of questio-"

"I don't need to answer the questions!" Link said hotly.

"Then you can walk right out. Here's the sheet and here's the pencil. I'll give you five minutes. But since you're the Hero of Time, then I'll give you-" he gasped in sarcastic amazement, "-ten minutes."

He walked out of the house without even saying goodbye.

Link snatched the piece of paper and meant to curl it up into a ball and imitate the guard's actions.

"No, Link. C'mon, let's finish this up and get out of here."

The set of questions were pretty...easy. It looked like this:

1. Who is your REAL hero?

a. Definitely not the chief.
b. My dog.
c. The glorious chief.

2. Who is the most kindest man on Hyrule?

a. Definitely not the chief.
b. Me, of course.
c. The glorious chief.

3. Who makes delicious strawberry pies?

a. Definitely not the chief.
b. Of course I!
c. The glorious chief.

The questions kept going until number twenty. They were all pretty much the same.

"What a braggart," Navi grumbled.

Link started checking off all the a's like rapid fire.

"You dummy, don't! We need this passport. Just check off all the c's."

Link reluctantly crossed it all out and put checkmarks all over the c's.

Ten minutes later, Borovan marched in, grabbed Link's paper out of his hand, and read it, his tiny little eyes bulging.

"I see someone taught you your manners," he muttered.

"What was that?" Link said sweetly.

"I see someone taught you your manners!" he said loudly. "As much as I don't want to, I'm afraid you qualify for a passport."

He ripped up the sheet in half and wrote something on it.

"Name?"

"I prefer to be called the Hero of-"

"Age?"

"Seven-"

"Address?"

"The Un-Mido Lane of Peace, Kokiri Forest."

"Any organizations you belong to?"

"The AAMA. All Against Mido Association."

"All right."

He seemed to be drawing something and looking back and forth at Link and the paper. Finally, he threw it at him.

"Here. Enjoy."

In a box, was supposedly Link, was a stick figure with a green hat and a smiley face. On the right side of the paper, there was the info which read:

Name: Hero of Tomatoes.
Age: Seven.
Address: The Unicef Lane of Peace, Cokeri Forest.
Organization: AAMA

Link quivered with rage. "I am NOT seven! I'm the Hero of Time, and it's the Un-Mido Lane of Peace, and it's spelled K-O-K-I-R-I Forest!!!!"

"Deal with it." Borovan got up and pushed them out of the door.

Link crumpled the slip of paper into a ball and squished it into his pouch.

"You know, sometimes people really annoy me."

Navi looked at the Cucco fluttering above his head.

"Um, Link, you know, there's a-"

"Don't interrupt my rage, Navi." Link grumbled, not even noticing the Cucco's feather fall onto his head.

"Link there is a CUCCO on top of your head!!"

Link immediately started to scream and gain attention from all the other villagers. The Cucco clucked madly and spotted the tomato sauce.

"Hey, that tickles! He's pecking my head, Navi!" Link started laughing uncontrollably.

A whole herd of the Cucco's friends came flying up and pushed each other, trying to get at the sauce.

Link didn't seem to mind now.

So, for the next few minutes, Link strolled through the village, waving at awestruck people, with Cuccos eating the sauce.

"Navi, it's starting to itch now," Link complained.

"Deal with it." Navi joked, imitating Borovan's words.

Link finally started to get irritated. "Okay, that's it."

"Shoo! Go away!" Link slapped at the Cuccos.

"Link, you don't want to do that..."

BWAKKKK.

The Cucco's expressions turned hard.

"OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!"

Link dropped on the floor and started rolling in agony.

The Cucco's started to peck Link's back.

A Few Minutes Away From Where They Are Right Now...

A boy peeked through the window and saw the Cucco's flying about, all aiming for one target, which was buried under white feathers.

"Mom, it's happening to another one again."

"That's all right dear, he's just getting what he deserves...always remember the old Kakariko proverb, "Don't bother the Cuccos, and they won't bother you."

"Yes, Mom."

Back to Link and Navi

After a while, the Cuccos left Link and Navi alone.

"Link?" Navi squeaked. "Are you all right?"

Link struggled to get up, but collapsed again in exhaustion.

"Maybe it's better if you just stay here and rest a little." Navi suggested, her voice faltering.

"Navi, I'm on the stairs." Link said in a muffled voice.

"Oh yeah...um...just..wait for a while."

"Right...."

After a few minutes, Link managed to get up.

Clumsily he held the wall for support.

"Ugh. Stupi-"

"Shhh..." Navi hissed. "They might hear."

Link saw the Cucco right beside him, frozen in a listening position.

"Ummm....stupid....chickens?"

All Navi saw then was a blur of white and-

"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Navi shook her head pitifully.

"You never learn, Link, you never learn."