A Sirius Situation
Chapter 11
Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Impulse Buying
Author: Jelsemium
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, JK Rowling does
"You're going to buy a present for the Boy Who Lived? From my shop?" Uncle Badger looked like somebody had packaged his birthday up with Christmas, and then had delivered them both early. "Oh, my stars and garters, what have I got that's worthy…" he began wandering around his shop, picking up and discarding items.
"Tell, me, Miss Lion, is Mr. Potter much of a reader?"
"Well, he reads, of course," Hermione said. "I know he does own books besides his school texts."
"But not like us, eh?" Uncle Badger said.
"Not many people I know read like me," Hermione said.
"Ah, you should associate with bookshop owners more, my lion," Uncle Badger said. "Bookselling isn't an occupation for people who want to become rich and powerful." He picked up a jar of something that snarled at him. "No, I don't think so," he said. "You say he likes Quidditch through the Ages. Does he play?"
"Oh, yes," Ron said proudly. "Youngest Seeker at Hogwarts in over a century."
Uncle Badger nodded as he continued his search. "Popular with the witches, is he?"
"Erm, actually," Ginny hesitated. She knew that other witches were interested in him, but she wasn't sure how to answer this.
"He's a bit on the shy side," Hermione said.
"Really?" Uncle Badger looked over at her in surprise.
"He's not used to crowds," Hermione said. "He grew up in seclusion, mostly." Which was the polite way of putting it, she thought.
Uncle Badger nodded. "I can see why they'd want him kept out of harm's way," he said. "An adventurous lad like that, especially one with powerful enemies, is bound to attract trouble." He puttered off to a corner in search of the Perfect Potter Present.
Ron quirked his eyebrow at Hermione.
"What?" she demanded.
"Harry won't thank you for saying that he's 'shy,'" Ron replied.
"Well, he is," Hermione said defensively.
"But he won't like that bandied about," Ginny said. She rolled her eyes at Ron. "Boys want to be known for being manly, not… shy."
"They want to be known for their strengths, not their weaknesses," Ron said.
"Would you have rather I said that Harry's been on two whole dates, both of which were painful failures for him?" Hermione asked.
Ron opened his mouth, then shut it and walked off muttering about 'women.'
Hermione picked up a basket and began wandering around the shop. She saw the herbal that she'd been reading that morning and put it in her basket. She saw the third book in the "Dorothy Gale and the Squib Wizard" series and added that to her growing pile of purchases.
Ginny began to examine Uncle Badger's selection of Muggle games and toys. "Candyland? Monopoly? Snakes and Ladders?" she said in amazement. "Muggles come up with the strangest games. Who would want to play with snakes?"
"Slytherins, maybe," Ron said from where he was investigating the sporting equipment.
"Tell me, do you know which professional Quidditch team Mr. Potter favors?" Uncle Badger asked. He opened a black lacquered box. A hand reached out of the box, grabbed the edge and shut it with a click.
Hermione opened her mouth to answer, but the Weasleys beat her to the punch.
"The Chudley Cannons," Ron blurted.
"The Kenmare Kestrels," Ginny said firmly.
Ron walked over to her so he could glare down at her. Ginny stood her ground and met her brother's eyes fiercely. The Weasley stare down stretched out, as both were certain that Harry rooted for their favorite Quidditch team.
Uncle Badger cocked an eyebrow at Hermione.
Hermione shook her head, both in answer to Uncle Badger's question and at her own ignorance. It was ironic, she thought, that she knew Ron and Ginny's favorite teams and players, she didn't have a clue as to whom Harry favored.
"I'm sorry," she finally had to admit. "I don't know. I'm afraid I don't pay much attention to Quidditch. I mean, outside of the Gryffindor House team."
"What are you talking about?" Ron said, indignantly. He broke eye contact with Ginny to glare at Hermione. "You know he's a Cannon's fan!"
"Hey, Harry is a fan of the best Quidditch team," Ginny began hotly.
"That's the Cannons!"
"In your dreams! Harry supports the Kestrels!" Ginny said hotly. "I should know!"
"Based on what? Your long relationship? You went on one bloody picnic with him!" Ron bellowed, his face turning Vernon Dursley Puce. "He's been my best friend since we started at Hogwarts!"
They continued arguing for several minutes, both of them getting so red in the face that their freckles disappeared.
Uncle Badger looked at Hermione with a blank expression on his face. Hermione couldn't tell if he was alarmed, upset or trying desperately not to laugh.
When the Weasleys were reduced to telling rude stories involving giant spiders, drunken pixies and purple frog spawn, Hermione threw her hands up. "Enough! We obviously can't risk buying Harry any Quidditch merchandise based on team until we know for certain which team he follows."
The Weasleys glared at her.
"For all I know, he might root for the same team as his godfather, or Dumbledore!" Hermione said.
"Perhaps he inherited his father's taste in Quidditch teams," Uncle Badger said. "According to Modern Magical History, James Potter was a big fan of Ludo Bagman and the Wimbourne Wasps."
"No!" both Weasleys exclaimed in horror.
Hermione tried to hide a smirk.
"There's nothing about James Potter's Quidditch preference in Modern Magical History, is there?" Ron challenged.
Hermione batted her eyes at him. "Of course there is," she said sweetly. "Right next to the section on Cipenapers."
The Weasleys relaxed and chuckled.
"I still say he likes the Cannons," Ron said.
"Bah, boys," Ginny sniffed. "He only puts up with them because he doesn't want to antagonize you."
"Maybe we should think of something else to give him," Hermione said. She leveled the Fire-starting Glare of Extreme Huffiness at the Weasleys and they shut up.
Uncle Badger sighed. "You three are determined to make this hard on me, aren't you?" He rubbed his chin with a forefinger. "Ah," he said in enlightened tones. He took a step back and snapped his fingers.
A feather boa dropped from the ceiling and he pulled on it. A rack of racing brooms descended from the ceiling. "How's his broom situation?" Uncle Badger asked eagerly. "I've got some excellent Silver Arrows and modified Moontrimmers in stock!"
Ron frowned. "Aren't those brooms kind of old?" he asked, dodging his sister's kick.
"These are classics!" Ginny said. She stared at the Silver Arrows wistfully.
Hermione sighed when it looked like the Weasleys were going to get into another argument. Their summer wasn't going well if they're this edgy, she decided. She'd better intervene. Fortunately, this was something she did know. "Harry's got a Firebolt, Uncle Badger," she said, almost apologetically.
Uncle Badger's eyes looked ready to leap out of their sockets. "A Firebolt? A real Firebolt? Have… have you seen it up close?" he asked eagerly.
Ron was reminded so much of Oliver Wood that he had to hide his smile by ducking down and study some Muggle gadget or other.
Hermione nodded. "But I've never flown it," she added. "I'm not good with brooms." She never had been, even when all she needed to do with them was clean.
"I've flown it," Ron said eagerly. "It's sweet!"
"Absolutely the best broom I've ever been on," Ginny agreed. Although, considering that the only other brooms she'd been on had been the school's ancient and abused brooms and her brother's second-hand, equally abused brooms, that wasn't saying much.
"Does the Firebolt…" Uncle Badger visibly pulled his mind away from Broom Lust. "Erm, well, he won't need one of these beauties, then." He gave the feather boa another tug and the Silver Arrows rose majestically out of sight. "Does he have a sword?"
Hermione's eyes went wide.
Ron looked over at the case of swords with a gleam of Sharp Edge Lust in his eyes.
Ginny gasped. Her mother couldn't object to a sword if it was Harry's birthday present! And who knew what else Ron would sneak into the package. "Erm, I think swords are rather out of our price range," she said hastily.
"Not to mention, it would be tricky to get it to him," Hermione said. "I don't think his relatives would allow him to keep it at their place, and students have been banned from keeping swords in the castle since 1699, when the McCoy brothers, both Gryffindors, decided that a Slytherin prefect named Churly Hatfield was getting too familiar with their sister, so they decided to cut off his…"
She didn't finish her sentence because Ron clamped his hand over her mouth. "Enough with the history lesson," he said. "It's a moot point, anyway," he added. "Harry's inherited a perfectly nice sword. It's a magic sword with a ruby the size of my fist in the hilt."
"All right, then," Uncle Badger said. "Swords are out." He sighed. "I expect that daggers are out, too. I don't suppose Professor McGonagall would let any of her students have edged weapons." He hefted a leather box that looked like it weighed more than Ginny. "I suppose he has a broom servicing kit?"
Hermione, rather alarmed at the size of the kit, nodded in relief.
"I should have guessed," Uncle Badger muttered. "Wait, I did guess, never mind. How about… No," he pulled his glasses off and polished them. "Oh, I know!" He walked over to the gumball machine that Hermione had noticed earlier.
"Mini Quidditch balls!" Ron exclaimed. "Wicked!" he hunkered down to study the balls. "I've heard of these, but I've never seen a set." He shook his head. "They don't carry them at Quality Quidditch Supplies."
"I expect not," Uncle Badger said. "They're a recent invention, by Carl Weber of Weber broomsticks. I've got a niece who immigrated to the States. She is married to the brother of the wizard who handles international sales for Weber Brooms. She managed to get me some early orders."
Uncle Badger pulled his wand from behind his back and gave the gumball machine a tap.
The teens stared as the egg-sized balls stirred and began moving around the gumball machine. When they bent to take a closer look, they could see that the red balls merely floated while the black balls caromed around the inside of the gumball machine like over caffeinated pinballs.
"These are perfect," Ron said reverently. "Harry will love them." He looked at Uncle Badger. "He can use them even when he's with his Muggle relatives, right?"
Uncle Badger nodded. "Yes, they're like brooms that way."
"Nobody gets cited for flying," Ginny told Hermione. "Brooms have their own magic; they don't set off the Ministry's sensors."
"Harry would enjoy having a piece of the wizarding world at Privet Drive," Hermione mused.
"Plus he loves Quidditch," Ginny said.
Hermione shot her a sideways look. "Really? I didn't know that."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you," Ginny said with a smirk.
"So, how much is this perfect present?" Ron asked.
They looked at the price and winced. Then they went into a huddle to discuss finances and other people who might be persuaded to contribute their worthy cause. Then they checked the price again to see if it had miraculously changed in fifteen minutes.
It had.
They looked at the shop owner for an explanation of this sudden windfall.
Uncle Badger rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet looking like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. "Everything in the store suddenly went on sale," he said blandly. "Prices have been slashed by fifty percent."
"Really? Just like that?" Hermione said with a snap of her fingers.
"Surprised the Chizpurfles out of me, too," Uncle Badger said with a "what can you do?" shrug.