Chapter 22:
Sweet 16 Birthday Party
By Jelsemium
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, alas.
"Here we come, to save the day!" Fred and George caroled.
"But who's going to save us from you?" Ron muttered.
"Ronnie-kins!" Fred exclaimed. "Our favoritest little brother of all time!" He threw his arms around Ron.
"I'm the only brother younger than you, you… moron," Ron finished as he shoved Fred away. He looked the others anxiously. "What did he do?" he asked.
Hermione, Ginny and Harry studied him carefully.
"No color change," Hermione reported.
"Nothing's sprouted," Harry said.
"There seems to be a sign stuck on your back," Ginny said.
"What?" Ron demanded, looking over his shoulder.
"Just a harmless little advertising," George said genially.
"Get it off!" Ron said, glaring.
"Oh, it has the Chudley Cannons logo," Ginny said. "It actually looks quite dashing."
Ron gave her a disgusted look. "Am I supposed to believe you?" he demanded.
Ginny smiled. "Would your favorite sister lie to you?" she asked.
"Yes," Ron said. "So would my least favorite sister, my fattest sister," this drew a glare from Harry. "And my most clever and beautiful sister," he added hastily.
Ginny giggled and Harry stopped glaring.
Hermione delicately removed the Chudley Cannons logo from Ron's back.
Nothing happened.
Hermione looked at the orange paper with the Cannons logo at it. And then she looked at the twins.
"What?" George demanded.
"I don't like the way she's looking at us," Fred muttered.
Ginny giggled.
Hermione gave her a stern look.
"Okay, it works like this," George capitulated.
"Traitor!" muttered Fred.
George grinned. "We're here for youthful jollity. This will be fun." He tapped the logo with his wand and the cannonball zoomed off the page and straight for Ron's face.
"Hey!" Ron complained, throwing up his hands.
Before the cannonball touched him, it exploded into confetti.
"I said NO EXPLOSIONS in the hospital wing!" howled Madam Pomfrey as she charged into the room. The scowl on her face faded when she saw the confetti. She didn't actually smile, though. She just sighed deeply and shook her head before going back to her office, muttering.
"Did she just say 'I thought they were gone for good?'?" George asked.
"That's what it sounded like to me," Ron said. "I'm very familiar with that phrase now. Mum says it every time you come over for dinner."
Both twins clutched at their chests.
"Wounded," Fred moaned.
"Cut to the quick," George added.
"Maybe we should leave," Fred said.
"More cake for us," Ginny said.
"On second thought, Brother Mine, it would be rude of us to leave without participating in the festivities in honor of our young friend," George said.
"I'm sixteen," Harry said.
"They grow up so fast," Fred said, wiping an imaginary tear away from his face.
"Unfortunately, you haven't grown up at all," Harry said.
"He noticed!" George said in delight. "That calls for …" he waved his wand and a brightly wrapped package appeared.
"A birthday present!" crowed Fred.
"Open it," George urged.
Harry looked at them suspiciously, and then grinned and tore into the package.
"Brave man," Ron murmured.
Nothing untoward happened.
Hermione and Ron sighed with relief.
Harry poked through the various items. "What's this?" he said. "Dragon fireworks?"
"They're one of our best sellers," Fred said proudly. "It'll create a good image of a dragon that will even gallop around the sky breathing fire."
"Cool," Ron said. "What're those?"
"Those are pencils," Hermione said. "A Muggle writing utensil." She eyed Fred and George with suspicion.
Fred grinned. "Muggles like them because the pencil 'lead', which is actually graphite, which is a form of…"
"I already know that graphite is carbon, like charcoal," Ron interrupted. "And that it's easier to erase than ink."
"Right," George said.
"What's the catch?" Harry asked.
George smiled and said: "Once you start writing with them, you'll just keep on writing until somebody touches the eraser."
"The funny thing about this," Fred added, "is that people need to think of something to write, so they tend to start writing what ever is on their mind. Kind of like an enforced diary."
"You realize the Ministry of Magic could use this against us," Ron said. "Make people confess to things like playing pranks or working with escaped convicts."
Fred and George exchanged alarmed looks.
"Not to mention, what happened to the last batch of Mum's sticky toffee pudding," Ginny added darkly.
Fred snatched the bundle of pencils away from Harry. "On second thought, these need to be rethought. DO enjoy the other offerings, however."
"Especially the Instant Swamp," George said.
Harry laughed.
"So, what are we doing now?" Fred asked.
"We were looking at a bunch of old Christmas Cards that Harry found in his Mum's trunk," Ginny said.
Fred and George rolled their eyes.
"How about playing Exploding Snap?" Fred asked.
There was a rumble from Madam Pomfrey's office that sounded remarkably like an annoyed Hungarian Horntail.
"We found a lovely Muggle game to try," George said. He looked at Hermione. "Are you familiar with piñatas?" he asked.
"Yes, but I'm not playing with any toy you two invented," Hermione said. "Especially not a game that involved hitting a small Trojan horse filled with Weasleys Wheezes."
Fred and George exchanged sad looks.
"She's so young to be so cynical," Fred said.
"She's been hanging around with bad company too long," George said.
"Yes, the two of you," Hermione said tartly.
"Why don't we have Harry open more presents?" Ron said. To Harry he added. "Hermione, Ginny and I went in together. It's brilliant."
"Even if you do say so yourself," George murmured.
Ginny and Ron made faces at him.
"I think so, too," Hermione said.
"You would," muttered Fred.
Ron beamed at her.
"I'm going to be sick," George said.
"Then I'll help out by eating your share of the cake," Ron volunteered.
"I'm feeling much better," George said hastily. "So, what is this splendid present?"
"Let's start with the other presents first," Ginny said. "I don't think we'll be able to concentrate on the other packages once ours has been opened."
"Well, I'm all agog, now," Fred said. "Let's have at them, then."
Mrs Weasley sent another box of treats. Which Hermione promptly confiscated as they were having cake later. "No need to ruin your appetites," she scolded.
All the boys sighed.
Tonks' present was several decks of wizarding cards. Remus had sent a book of stories about the adventures of some young wizards known as "The Quidditch Boys."
"You'll like those," Hermione said. "They're like the Famous Five!"
Sirius' gift was tickets to the next Quidditch World Cup, which was going to be held in Canada.
"Wow, top row seats, hotel rooms and everything," Ron said.
"And enough for the whole Weasley family," Ginny cried in delight. "Including Hermione!"
"I think I can talk my parents into letting me go," Hermione said excitedly.
Mr. and Mrs. Granger sent a box of clothing: blue jeans, new shoes, socks, underwear… Harry didn't want to know how they knew what size to send him… and a t-shirt with the Dr. Who logo and TARDIS on the front.
Harry and Hermione laughed so hard they had trouble breathing.
"I don't get it," Ron admitted.
"It's a Muggle thing," Fred sighed. He hated not being in on the joke.
"Really?" George asked sarcastically.
Fred shot him a sideways look. "Yeah, I think so. Those are police call boxes. Muggles used them to call for help."
"Oh," Ginny said. She looked at the still giggling Harry and Hermione. "Somehow I think it means more than that, though."
"It's a long story," Harry said. He didn't want to get into a long explanation of Time Lords and time travel. Especially since the twins didn't know about Hermione's experiences with the Time Turner.
"Here, open this," Ron said eagerly, handing Harry the package they had bought at Uncle Badger's.
"You can't give Harry a present wrapped in Hufflepuff paper!" George was outraged.
"We can if it's from Uncle Badger's shop," Hermione said.
"Who's Uncle Badger?" Fred demanded.
"A friend of Charlie's," Ginny lied with nary a trace of a blush.
It shut the twins up, though. They both adored Charlie.
Harry took a deep breath. Somehow he was more nervous opening this than he had been opening the twin's present.
"Hurry up!" Ron urged.
Matters were taken out of Harry's hands when the miniature Bludgers escaped and ripped open the package from the inside.
"Down!" shouted Fred. He and George dived for cover.
The others laughed like hyenas, causing Fred and George to look up and make sour faces.
"I thought you two loved jokes," Ginny said 'sweetly.'
"Only when we're playing them," George replied honestly.
Harry just laughed with delight. He pulled out the other balls and began experimenting as Hermione explained how to control them.
Even Madam Pomfrey was enticed into trying her hand at it. She really had no one to blame when they managed to shatter several windows in their efforts to control the miniature Bludgers."
"What song are you going to use?" Ron asked.
Harry whistled the opening bars for Dr. Who. Of course, only Hermione recognized it. So the two of them wound up laughing like hyenas again.
"I have a feeling we have been left out of this joke," Ron said to Ginny.
"It's just that Dr. Who is like a Cauldron Opera," Hermione said. "That tune is the opening theme song."
"I see," Ron shot her an odd look.
Hermione mouthed that she would explain it later.
Fred and George looked like they might want to argue the point. However, that's when the rest of the adult guests and the food arrived.
And they never did learn the truth about Dr. Who from Harry and Hermione.