Disclaimer: If Prince of Tennis was mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction eh? So. NO.
Part I: SEIGAKU, (i) Ryuzaki Sumire, coach.
Ryuzaki had always believed herself to be a source of inspiration to the team.
When Inui was too busy with his new concotions, she was always there to sort out all the lineups and random pieces of autograph paper collecting on the irresponsible manager's desk.
She had always being there when the team needed her, which (she felt) was when the team withered under the concotions like white mice. She had been there, but no one said anything about helping...
She had, as already mentioned, painstakingly linedup the regulars for smooth matches throughout the Regionals.
She was always there in between games, handing out waterbottles and giving pointless and redundant advices like "Slow and steady wins the race."
It wasn't her fault she was old and cliched.
To sum it all up, she believed the team loved her.
They do, but not everyone.
Hohoho. Not everyone.
-
Fuji carefully bandaged his fingers. Mugging Inui wasn't the best idea to keep his fingers in top shape.
But then, at least he got Ryuzaki sensei's psycology report. According to Inui's databook, which he claims to have the most, 0.1 chance of mistake, the way to her nerves is through bugging.
Not excessive bugging, about a couple of hours would do.
In the matter of minutes, she would be receiving a very very peculiar request from a not so persuasive principal...
-
"Ryuzaki sensei," The principal looked weary, which was highly unlikely for Seishun Gakuen because their lives revovles around tennis and she took care of those. "Can you please relieve Class 6 of Year 3 today? Their homeroom teacher who teaches them English, Science and Maths had a very reasonable excuse."
"Plus, you have a couple of tennis regulars in that class too." Silence. "Oh, and you have to be careful about one of them; his name is Fuji . Apparently, the class was supposed to make fizzy drinks out of sugar water, but then God knows what he added to the drink."
"The drink turned green, and so did the teacher...Wait. Isn't Fuji Syusuke one of your regulars?"
Way to have a nice impression. Especially to an European principal who had to learn the wonders of wasabi the hard way.
-
When she stepped into the classroom, the students erupted into murmurs. It sounded pretty hostile.
Turning to her two beloved regulars, she could see Eiji looking warily over at the brunette beside him, perphaps noticing her gaze. Fuji , on the otherhand, looked perfectly fine. Calm. The calm before the storm.
"Have you been saying bad things about me behind my back, Fuji ?"
Fuji pulled his smile wider. "Are you worried about the 'bad things' or the 'behind your back'?"
"I-"
"If I don't say behind your back, I don't exactly say it in your face, right?"
"You-"
"But what good things am I to say about you? Yes. Don't give me that shocked face. I anticipated you."
Ryuzaki would have been contented to give Fuji a big slap on the cheek and a good dressing down, but she might as well be giving herself a death sentence. If anything happened to Fuji, his fanclub was sure to maul, or make mincemeat out of her, teacher or not.
Fanclubs can be a real blessing in disguise, or so Fuji found out.
His wit was really going to get himself killed one day.
She started class without proper greetings and launched into a long boring lecture, while internally wallowing in self pity.
-
"Right. So the question is: If the distance between Town A and B is xkm, and every 2km there is a lampost, 3km a hydrant and 4km a mailbox, how fast should two cars be travelling respectively if Car Y was to go through 1/3 of the distance of x in two hours and Car Z was to..."
The class was unbelieveably quiet. They were either dead, or sleeping.
"They're sleeping."
"FUJI!" Ryuzaki half yelled. "Are you pyschic or something?!"
"No," Came the amused reply. "I'm simply perceptive."
"Hn." Ryuzaki hn-ed unconvincingly. "Anyway, can you answer my previous question?"
"Didn't I just?"
"I mean the math problem."
"Oh that." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I wouldn't exactly say that I know."
Fuji...NOT KNOW?
"It depends on the traffic. I'm sure if it was peak hours it would take ages to go from one end to the next."
"...Fine." Sigh. "Let me rephrase that question. IFthere was no traffic."
"But isn't Maths all about logic? Here a car drives on a road with no traffic, but full of lamposts, hydrants and mailboxes? If no one uses the road, why bother putting all these things people use? With your additional sentence, this question is made illogical and it is against my right to answer it."
Of course he doesn't have a right. If he does, Tezuka would be choking up blood right this minute.
"This is nuts-"
"I AM NUTS HERE, FUJI-SAN."
"That is inappropriate use of honourables,"
Briing.
"Anyway, I'd better get going before my brain does stop functioning."
Watching Ryuzaki's back, Fuji wiped a tear from the corner of his eye with a delicate finger. Fuji, you genius.
-
Ryuzaki managed to skip the biggest tortue of English lessons with Class 6 by having a stomachache. Of course it was real, or else how was she able to get away from the sadist of a school nurse?
She downed 7 cups of wasabi for this, and it had better work.
It did, but it went away in time for the last lesson, to oh-so dreaded Science.
However, lab lesson was yesterday, so she was spared from another round of wasabi.
'However' and 'spared' wasn't exactly the best words to describe it though...
-
"So the suction power of one foot of the gecko is equivalent to the weight of one child, normally it is very hard to pull it off the wall once its stuck."
"Use a child to pull it off." The feminine voice uttered a witty retort.
"That was totally pointless and brainless Fuji," She didn't spend her few hours in agony for nothing. A list of comebacks she prepared. Only if they weren't so lame.
But then, Fuji wasn't a counter-puncher for nothing. An eye for an eye. A counter for a counter.
"Ryuzaki sensei, I thrive on pointless comebacks to give lamer remarks. I exist to do that. Didn't you know?"
It was totally true. But totally unexpected.
-
Okay, she admit it. She had been bloodily massacred and ridiculed by none other than her dear regular Fuji Syusuke.
At least she escaped English. Imagine saying:
Look Tom. See cat.
See cat run.
Run cat run
Tom sees cat run.
In front of a very unpredictable male who practically gets full marks for university english papers, reads english literature novels the size of a dictionary and collects more english storybooks than japanese ones.
No. Nonononono.
YES! SHE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO REMOVE HERSELF FROM ONE OF THE EVIL CLUTCHES OF FUJI! YATTA!
But then, looking back at her experiences of extreme embarrasment in front of Fuji, she felt like such a walking contradiction.
So, she proceeded to swiftly smack her forehead on the nearest wall.
A muffled click was heard at the same time as the sound of the impact between the skull and wall. Then it morphed into evil laughter, Fuji style.
If Ryuzaki hadn't been so depressed, she would have caught that sneak and beat the living daylights out of him.
Which she didn't, because she was depressed.
And that was exactly what Fuji had been counting on.
A/N: Oh poor poor Ryuzaki-sensei. :( Praise Fuji or mourn for Ryuzaki, you decide. Flamers are welcome. Constructive reviews are more than welcome. If you come to laugh your head off I'd like to laugh with you, because I'd be so happy that my passage has such an interesting effect. :)