Disclaimer: I don't own the sexy beast named Feist or her lyrics. And we already talked about New Moon and Twilight. You can also see every other disclaimer I have ever posted to get the idea.

Dedication: Michelle, Niki, Stephanie. Well I am sorry for ignoring you a lot.

A/N: Okay I think I lied and there will be another real chapter! Okay so I am going to tell you about my new story that is NOT the sequel to Intuition. The story is called I Don't Like Mondays and if you've ever heard the song then you should know a little bit of what's going to happen, that's all I'm going to say because you have to read it to find out more! HA! Oh and I hate doing other's thoughts unless they're important so let's just say Eddie tuned them out! Okay this will get a little OOC but whatever I don't care! I command the show to go on!

Luckily it had been raining the whole week before the wedding. It was also a good thing that the Browns had upgraded to a way bigger house in the country from what they had before. We were now harboring so many people I didn't think it was possible but before the guests arrived she had time to make a huge guesthouse.

The whole wedding had been planned by Alice, James, and Rosalie with very little input from Bella and me. They also planned what was apparently my bachelor party. They set up a bunch of beer in a room that also had a piñata, pin the tail on the donkey, oh, and a bunch of gay porn. Then they some how found a way to lure me, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Eleazer into it and locked us in.

I really don't know how they did it, but there was no furniture in the room either so the only things to do were the little kids' games and something with the beer. They made us stay in there until the next morning, and by the time they opened the door the BAC of the room was higher than legal but no one was drunk.

"Okay you boys are getting ready in the guest house, then once you're done go straight to that ballroom place and make sure everything is ready, then go straight to the church and make sure everything is ready there, and be there by 4 o'clock. D'you got it?" We all just stared at James; she had said all of that in two seconds.

Finally we said, "Got it" and went to go get ready in the guest house. Surprisingly the sun was behind the clouds but it wasn't raining.

When we got out back all of our stuff along with Charlie's and Pete's was set out along with breakfast for those two. By that time I was freaking out, which made Jasper antsy, which made everyone antsy.

"Edward, cut it out, it's okay, seriously." But I couldn't for some reason. Finally we were all ready to go, even Pete and Charlie, so we headed out to the car.

"Wait!" We all turned our heads to see James running at us with her bridesmaid dress on, half of her makeup done, and a bunch of those dress bags.

"Pete, I need you to bring these dresses to the back room at the ballroom. None of you," she said looking pointedly at us, "are allowed to see what's inside of them until later."

"Yes mother." Surprisingly came from Carlisle.

"Oh, and Edward shut, up. Everything is going to go perfect I promise or my name isn't lima bean."

"But it isn't and I didn't say anything."

"I know that, but you are annoying me and if you want your surprise later then you better knock those ants right out of your pants. Hey that rhymes!" She pumped an arm into the air, and I noticed that she was wearing a sweater even though it was the summer. Luckily her dress had spaghetti straps so I would get to see what was with it today.

"James just go finish your makeup so we can actually stand to look at you."

"Why Emmett, I'm shocked that you would speak to a lady like that! At least I'm not tooth-pasty like you are; it's funny how I tan and you don't. Hm, maybe I should look into that, don't you think?" That only received grumbles from everyone except Charlie. She was as pasty as the rest of us if you asked me, she liked to run, but only did so indoors.

"James just get inside and do something useful." I sighed I knew what was coming.

"Oh, but heckling you is useful. But whatever I do have to go or Alice will be murdering me after the wedding."

After that we did what we had been told earlier and went through all of our chores. By the time we got to the church that Alice picked out, I was dry-heaving even though I never really thought that vampires could do that. But when the first guest arrived I pulled myself together as best I could and greeted them.

A lot of the people coming were employees at the store or acquaintances from Bella's school because neither of us had a lot of family and everyone (also know as Alice, James, and Rosalie) decided it would be a lot more fun to have a bunch of people we didn't know come, though I did know quite a bit by name. Then I saw someone who could hopefully shake my nerves come in.

"Manfred!" He didn't respond, I wondered why he would choose now to ignore me, so I went up to him.

"Hello, Manfred Zilka." He had a confused look on his face and he was thinking who the hell is this kid talking to?

"Um, you?" Damn, I hate when I answer people's thoughts, though he didn't seem fazed. I guess that might come from getting double teamed by James and Bella

"But my name is Byron Man." Um someone needs to check into a psychiatric ward and it's not Alice.

"No, I'm pretty sure your name is Manfred Zilka." Realization dawned in his mind.

"Oh, that's right! I guess I just forgot I haven't been called that in a while. Oh, and I got you a special present!" He whipped out two pairs of glasses with mustaches attached and put one on me.

"I'll be wearing the other pair just in case you get nervous." Thank god someone understood. "Oh, and will you tell James that I need to talk to her?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Man."

"That is my name. Now knock 'em dead." I'm not entirely sure who I was knocking dead or why, but I do know that I would look like an idiot with those glasses.

Finally it was time for the wedding to start, so we took our respective places and waited for the girls to come out.

First was James; she had apparently decided to prove us wrong by wearing no makeup except for mascara. She didn't really need any makeup anyway she had flawless skin and expressive eyes. She was wearing a purple dress that made her bright green eyes stand out against the darkness. Then Alice came she was wearing the same dress as James but hers was black which looked equally good with the brightness of her skin. Rosalie was wearing a light pink colored variation of the same dress. Then came Esme down the aisle in brown. Each of the girls had flashed bright, knowing smiles at me before they lined up.

Finally the woman I had been waiting for turned the corner with Charlie. She looked ravishing; I never believed someone could look so beautiful. Her hair had been curled and put into a low bun, and through the veil I could see she was grinning like mad. Her dress was beautiful and simple looking, I could only guess Alice and James had tried to trick her with the style, but it looked amazing on Bella.

When she finally got to the alter she gave Charlie a hug and a kiss. She stepped up to me then turned to James to hand over her bouquet. They had a quick conversation about who was "more beautiful" before the priest cleared his throat, which made both of them blush which made me grin.

The priest started talking but I had no idea what he said I just couldn't stop staring at Bella, until James started laughing her head off halfway through the ceremony. She was seriously on the floor laughing so hard she couldn't breathe I looked to see what was so funny and of course there was Manfred Zilka sitting in his pew with his crazy glasses on and wiping tears off his face. Then he announced (very loudly I might add) "Weddings get me every time!" before he seriously, broke down sobbing with those glasses still on. Have you ever tried keeping your composure in a situation like that? I tell you: it isn't easy!

Finally the priest kept going even though James was still laughing (with much prodding to try to get her to breathe) and Manfred was still crying (with much prodding to get out). The only parts I heard were the ones involving saying "I do" and "You may now kiss the bride." After I did that, (without any prodding whatsoever) I carried Bella out to the limo that was going to take us to the reception.

"Oh my pickle, Edward, we're married!"

"Pickle what does that mean? And yes, we are married!"

"Don't ask, and yay!" Then she pounced on me with as tight a hug as her dress would allow.
We kept talking about various things on the car ride, and then we were ushered into a room in the back until we were announced as "The new Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The words made me "tingle in my giblets" as James would say.

We came out to very loud applause. I didn't realize until now that we had invited so many people; I was guessing it was all James's doing.

We were having fun just doing nothing until James yelled, "Hurry up I want some cake!" So we posed for some pictures of us cutting the cake (which instead of a groom had a cake pickle at the top, I was guessing that was also James.) We then shoved a piece of cake in each other's mouth as tradition called for. It tasted like someone tried to mix sugar with poop; in my opinion it still didn't taste good.

We had fun (except for having to eat the disgusting food) at the reception table with people coming up to congratulate us. Mr. Man had said, "Congrats Bella, I always knew you would get married!" Then he leaned in to whisper to her. "Though for a minute there I was worried you would become an old maid with that geezer James over there!" to which Bella could only blush.

So went the time until I heard James. "Well I think it's high time we get to the first dance. So dad, this would be the surprise I was talking about. I am going to risk humiliation to sing and play bass in front of everyone just for you."

She waited until we were out on the dance floor to start the music there were three girls playing with her, one I vaguely recognized.

I never knew that James could speak French, let alone play guitar or sing; she was actually very good.

"Hey, guess what Edward?"

"What?"

"I can't speak French, unlike some people."

"Oh." I had to crack a smile at that. She was so beautiful when she pouted. I started translating for her.

"I still can't believe-"

"We're married?"

"No, that you got me to dance again." I just laughed; Bella could be so silly sometimes.

By this time I was singing into Bella's ear as she was leaning on my shoulder, to me it was perfect life could stay like this forever. Unfortunately, I knew it couldn't because the father/daughter dance was coming up next. When the song finished I gave Bella a kiss and handed her off to Charlie. I then turned to see James hop off the stage and walk over to me. Another girl took her place.
"May I have this dance?" I had no idea where she was going with this.
"You do realize that only Bella and Charlie are supposed to be dancing right?"
"So? I really don't think that they will care, and this will be one of very few breaks I get."
"I highly doubt that."
"Fine, you're right, but the other girls practiced this one, and I didn't so I am going to dance with you."

"Whatever, let's just dance."
"Fine then." So we danced, and held a conversation while doing so. When I looked back at the stage at the girl singing I realized where I had seen the girl before.
"What is that girl's name that's singing?"
"You mean Niki?"
"Sure, where is she from?
"Um, in Montana somewhere? She is really excited that I am moving out west, though Michelle and Stephanie are really mad because they live out east more." Well it was crazy to me that they even played together okay.
"How did you get this band together if you all live so far away from each other?"
"Well Stephanie and Michelle were friends, Niki was my official stalker, and I really have no idea how we all came together. I think it might have been an accidental letter. I also have no idea how Niki became my stalker."

"Yes, on the subject of Niki, would she by any chance happen to be the kind of person to scream about their undying love to a random person?"
"Would I be friends with her if she wasn't?"
"I would hope so."
"Well that hope is as lost as mom in the Mall of America."
"Wow, that is pretty lost all right."
"Darn straight!" Then the song was over and she had to go back up on stage again.
Bella walked back over to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"What were you two talking about?"

"Just you going in the Mall of America." I smile while she shuddered.

"It should be illegal for a mall to be that big, and for Alice to be allowed to take me there." I chuckled again.

"But I thought you liked it?" I knew she hadn't one little bit.

"Um, no. I did however, love getting home." She frowned unconsciously as she remembered her trip.

"Of course you did." She looked outraged.

"Of course I did, besides I got to see you when I came home." I happened to have liked that part myself.

"That is true."

"Very true." She said as she kissed me on my lips and then sunk back onto my shoulder. It was funny how the simplest moments in life were the best. Maybe it was the fact that they were simple that got to me. It is good to forget how complicated your life is, even if it is just for a few moments.

I tried my hardest not to let go of Bella the whole night but others wanted to dance with her that I could actually okay, so I kind of had to.

When it was another of those times I went up to the balcony that surrounded the dance floor. I knew there would probably be just a few tables guests had abandoned to go dancing or home. When I got through the doors I was surprised to see James up there looking down on the dancers as well.

I went to lean over the rail next to her. I had a nagging feeling before that I was forgetting something, when I looked over at her I realized what it was.

"What did you do?" I was very confused, but her head snapped up to mine in fear, and what I think was regret. She turned her head back to the crowd before she spoke.

"Have you ever felt like you're so small you'll be forgotten?"

"Yes of course, everyone has." It was probably a good thing for our family.

"Well have you ever felt so big that you messed everything up?"

"Yes." I especially felt like that with Bella.

"Have you felt one or the other your whole life?"

"No."

"Well I did. My family always made me feel that way. I could never please any of them, not even one at a time."

"I find that very hard to believe. What about Pete?"

"Pete doesn't count."

"Oh? How so?"

"I don't know, he just doesn't."

"Well go on."

"Well before my dad moved out, I guess he figured that I would never go to see him. Which was smart, because the way he ignored me you wouldn't know I existed. So I guess he decided to get in the last word. I still find it odd that he would want to get the last word in with an eight year-old.

"I was downstairs in my room reading, per usual, when he was packing. I remember him coming into my room and starting to talk." (A/n: remember that Bobert is crazy, but you will see his reasoning soon.)

"You know something James?" He sneered at the name. "I always wanted a boy." I was confused.

"But you already have a boy daddy, don't you?"

"Yes but I always wanted you to be a boy."

"But aren't you at least okay that you got me instead?"

"No, not in the slightest bit. You threw off the delicate balance of this household. An older brother for every sister. And then you decide to shame us by not using your given name, but instead a boy's name."

"Two things are wrong there daddy, you see I can't choose my gender, and you also named me James, so it is my given name."

"You most defiantly aren't a boy, and I most defiantly regret having you." Then Bobert walked away and out of the house.

I was stunned. I couldn't believe that anyone would be able to say that to James, but apparently she did.

"I guess what he said wasn't really that horrible, but it stuck with me because I always wanted to be golden in my parent's eyes. I always wanted to be the kid everyone wanted. I almost succeeded, but my parents got in the way.

"As time went on I just kept obsessing about everything I did and the question just stuck with me. I really had to wonder about what I had done wrong. And I got so paranoid that I believed everything I did was wrong, and then I started doing the opposite of everything. Everything I did made someone mad, and it got to the point where I thought my brain was going to implode with their screams.

"I was reading some books on volcanoes at the time, and found an experiment about volcano explosions. It said that if you left the pressure to build the explosion would be huge, but if there were a hole to release pressure when it finally erupted it would just fizz out.

"Well me being the good girl I am tried to find a way to make a hole. I tried millions of sports, screaming, everything, but I just couldn't tear a hole.

"I was having a particularly bad day, and I wanted to watch a movie really bad. That was the first time I had ever seen The Royal Tenenbaums, and the first time I had ever heard of cutting. That was when I found out how to tear a hole. I decided I would do it in the woods and have a picnic party.

"I got out there and ate all of my food. I was on a hike, about five miles from my bike, when it started raining. I decided then and there that god hated me and had decided to make my life miserable. I wondered why and the question came back up again 'what did you do?' That's what I wrote on my arm. Unfortunately, I didn't know that you shouldn't cut so deep if you don't really want to die. I lost a lot of blood that day, and it is a miracle that I am alive today." Well that had to be one of the saddest stories I have heard in a while.

"How are you not dead?"

"That would have to be a story for another time." She had a sly, but sad smile on her face.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know. It's just not something that I normally advertise. But lately I have been thinking about it a lot, so I finally got the courage to tell you." She shrugged it off as if it was nothing, so I did too for the time being.

I started to ask her another question but she had already left. I turned my head back to the crowd and watched as James emerged to the dance floor and started dancing as though nothing had happened.

I saw everything I held dear down there; Esme and Carlisle slow dancing to one of the most upbeat songs I had ever heard, Alice, Rosalie, and James acting out the lyrics, Emmett and Jasper rubbing butts, (I now know the reason for the gay porn) and the love of my life watching it all with shining smile spanning her whole face. I decided to go back down and live in the moment, because you never really know when they will end.

A/N: Okay I know that this is like really late but I am super sorry! This story as I have said before will have another real chapter and then some outtakes. Don't forget that there will be a sequel which I will say more on later! Okay so check out my other story called I Don't Like Mondays (which Michelle says is my genius, but not in those words). Oh and the next chapter will reveal a couple more things for all of us! I truthfully didn't see it going there! Geez I have really long author's notes!

Playlist (hey it's a wedding! What did you expect?! And don't complain about the length!):

First dance: Tout Doucement by Feist (I learned French from this!)

Father/Daughter Dance: As I Go by Richard Swift

All other random songs that were played:

True Love Will Find You in the End by Beck

If You Find Yourself Caught in Love by Belle and Sebastian

Fuck This Shit by Belle and Sebastian (Please actually download this! It is really beautiful! I swear!)

Funny Little Frog by Belle and Sebastian

Words of Love by Buddy Holly

Rave On by Buddy Holly

You're Just What I Needed by the Cars

Luv Addict by Family Force 5

Put Your Hands Up by Family Force 5 (this was the song at the end!)

Mushaboom by Feist

Secret Heart by Feist (this is so a Twilight song!!)

Fade Together by Franz Ferdinand

Shopping for Blood by Franz Ferdinand (this is more jokey heha!)

Everlasting Love by Jamie Cullum

Read My Mind by The Killers

I'd Rather Dance with You by Kings of Convenience

Picture Book by The Kinks

All of the Day and All of the Night by The Kinks

Stuck in the Middle by Mika (Wow you need this! So totally applicable!)

A Doodlin' Song by Peggy Lee

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen (We finally learn where Edward learned his passion!)

Fidelity by Regina Spektor

Samson by Regina Spektor

Rejazz by Regina Spektor

Bobbing for Apples by Regina Spektor (Originally James made Bella sing this with the promise that she would get rid of Alice for a couple of months but it didn't fit in!)

Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups

Someday by The Strokes

Buddy Holly by Weezer

Fell in Love with a Girl by The White Stripes

I Enjoy Being a Boy by They Might Be Giants

Happy Doesn't Have to Have an Ending by They Might Be Giants (Or does it? Muhaha!)